D&D is For Nerds

The Explosive Ghoul is identical in nearly every-eth manner to their regular cousins but with several notable exceptions: Abyssal energies: what has been identified to power the ghouls has been “supercharged” extensively to such a point that the Explosive Ghoul gains its name and upon destruction will combust and release said energies at high degree and far reach. This can clearly-eth be seen-eth on thine Explosive Ghoul in its somewhat bloated-eth stomach and through its-eth eyes-eth which will instead of being white show through to the planes abyssal (red as it is speculated that the colours of thine abyss are on the average). Thy-eth savvy hunter should-eth k-note that thine Explosive Ghoul should be seen to be-eth smarter than thy average bear (or ghoul) and shall not indeed fall for the same tricks as thine non-explosive cousin. When thine Explosive Ghoul is slain one should be well away lest they become caught in the fiery (and venomous (here-eth venom shall refer-eth to the effect of creating more-eth ghouls (here-eth ghouls shall mean explosive ghouls) on thy savvy (or should I say unsavvy!) death) as the normal ghoul is (which-eth is to speak that the conflagration is neither fiery nor venomous but rather necrotic)) conflagration. Unfortunately, dear reader and savvy hunter I must confess that I was lying to you at the beginning of this here entry as the Explosive Ghoul is not terribly similar to thine regular ghoul. As thine Explosive Ghoul also should be known to be rather tougher than its counterpart and also know that it can belch the very fires (poisonous) of the abyss at thy savvy hunter which have all the treacherous-ies of its venomous attacks. Aside from these incorrections though I was not lying but rather telling the truth as the Explosive Ghoul does have all the same weaknesses and strengths besides!

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this one has discovered what this one likes to call ‘the-heroes-journey.’ this one believes that this ones new invention will revolutionize the science of storytelling. as important as previous story-inventions such as creative-liberties, fore-shadowing, and the-ticking-clock. possibly the most important element of a the-heroes-journey is what this one calls ‘crossing-the-threshold’ or ‘getting-to-the-good-stuff.’ perhaps that one would like if this one draws a diagram in exchange for payment? this one would accept payment in form of egg.

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“… and I only collect shiny things because they remind me of the stars. It reminds me of the night and your absence which I find anticipatory. I often wonder if you feel the same? Do you feel as electrified as I do to know that while you are not here now, I shall see you soon? Cresting the horizon with your enrapturing gaze. And in those moments, when you see me and smile, I understand why ice melts…”
~ Nomes’ letter to Penia, 363.1804

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This one wants that one to have big think of three delicious eggs for this one to eat and this one only wants the most delicious egg, even though this one would be very happy with all three delicious eggs, but for sake of good story, only one egg is best egg. Other eggs only pretty good egg, but still egg, and that’s good. If that one choose one egg it only one third of being most delicious egg. If this one eat one of the other egg and I say ‘it delicious but could be more delicious’, you best pick the other remaining egg for this one as is has two thirds chance of being the most delicious and the egg that one pick from before still only has one third for being delicious. This not always work, but eating egg is good and that is good. It is new concept I am calling “probability”.

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Dracula: Sometimes known as a vampyr or Lesser Greater Vampire (or just vampire if thy savvy hunter wishes to be seen as uncouth as well as (or in addition to (or instead of)) savvy) this book thinks it foolish to contend with such a creature so don’t worry about it. Thy shall know to avoid thou dracula if they are in a region where a faint or minor trace of that magic known as necromancy is undercurrent wherever they travel, animals of the house and farm keep together at nights for fear, and voices not of thy own sometimes whisper thy savvy hunter (or others!) name when thy is alone and beckon thy further (do not listen to them for thou voices shall lead thy astray!) If thy is forced to worry about it though it should be important to keep a cool head as that might be a method for the dracula to control the un-savvy hunter. Savvy hunters all know this one truth, and as they all know it I shall not bother to repeat it here but rather assume you already know one of the most critical and important things about fighting thou Dracula. Instead this author shall furnish thy with what is considered lesser informations, that thou Draculi placing of death shall affect (or effect I can never tell) the powers and unpowers that it shall possess. But first you must answer some simple questions.
Does the Dracula live outside?
If yes, congratulations! You have stumbled upon a City Place Dracula. While it can teleport through doors and turn into rats, it cannot leave the city.
If no ask yourself does the Dracula live near sea level?
No? Well okay then, does the Dracula live above or below sea level?
Yes? You’ve found yourself face to face with a Tall Places Dracula if thine answer waseth no, you’re dealing with a Negative-Tall Places Dracula.
Now if the Dracula you are facing does live near sea level I’m afraid more observation from you iseth needed. In particulars thine nature of thine environment, where the Dracula is most often stood and where or not it yearns for wide open spaces. Good luck out there savvy hunter.

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