Secondhand Therapy

People-pleasing, fear of failure, and how your mom’s voice became your inner critic.

Support the pod:
PATREON - http://patreon.com/secondhandtherapypod
MERCH - http://secondhandtherapypod.com

BetterHelp:

If you’re struggling, consider therapy with our sponsor. Visit https://betterhelp.com/secondhandtherapy for a discount on your first month of therapy.

If you have questions about the brand relating to how the therapists are credentialed, their privacy policy, or therapist compensation, here is an overview written by the YouTube creators behind the channel Cinema Therapy that goes into these topics: https://www.reddit.com/r/cinema_therapy/comments/1dpriql/addressing_the_betterhelp_concerns_headon_deep/

The Maca Team:

Louie really does take Maca every day. (He takes Black and Tri-Blend). He loves it.

http://themacateam.com/secondhandtherapy

promo code: bearcub for 10% off

Light Phone:

Louie really does have and use a Light Phone III. He loves it.

https://www.thelightphone.com/shop?ref=mmexymn

promo code: secondhandtherapy for $50 off pre-order of Light Phone III

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Why is it so hard to say “I don’t know”?
Why does being liked feel like survival?

In this episode of Second Hand Therapy, we unpack people-pleasing, fear of failure, and the invisible ways our parents shape our inner critic. One host shares what therapy is revealing about his need to be “nice,” his terror of messing up, and how his relationship with his mother quietly programmed his fear of rejection.

We talk about:

People-pleasing as a trauma response

Fear of failure and perfectionism

Why being “nice” blocks real connection

Feelings vs facts (and the stories we tell ourselves)

Productivity as a substitute for self-worth

Learning to say no without guilt

Wanting your parent to be more — and turning that disappointment inward

This episode explores how abandonment fear, emotional control, and self-worth get tangled together — and what it looks like to start unlearning those patterns in real time.

We’re not therapists. We’re just two people in therapy, talking honestly about what we’re learning.

If you struggle with people-pleasing, approval-seeking, fear of being disliked, or feeling like you’re never enough, this episode will hit close to home.

BUSINESS INQUIRIES: [email protected]

Follow us here:
http://instagram.com/secondhandtherapypod
http://tiktok.com/@secondhandtherapypod

Contact us:
[email protected]
818-850-2448
PO BOX 230595, Las Vegas, NV 89105

When someone yells at your mom: anger, boundaries, emotional control, and doing the right thing.

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-BetterHelp:

If you’re struggling, consider therapy with our sponsor. Visit https://betterhelp.com/secondhandtherapy for a discount on your first month of therapy.

If you have questions about the brand relating to how the therapists are credentialed, their privacy policy, or therapist compensation, here is an overview written by the YouTube creators behind the channel Cinema Therapy that goes into these topics: https://www.reddit.com/r/cinema_therapy/comments/1dpriql/addressing_the_betterhelp_concerns_headon_deep/

-The Maca Team:

Louie really does take Maca every day. (He takes Black and Tri-Blend). He loves it.

http://themacateam.com/secondhandtherapy

promo code: bearcub for 10% off

-Light Phone:

Louie really does have and use a Light Phone III. He loves it.

https://www.thelightphone.com/shop?ref=mmexymn

promo code: secondhandtherapy for $50 off pre-order of Light Phone III

______

What do you do when you hear someone raise their voice at your mom — and everything in your body wants to explode?

Today, we unpack a tense holiday moment that forces a deeper conversation about anger, boundaries, family dynamics, and emotional regulation. Louie shares a confrontation with his mother’s partner, before reflecting on how rage, fear, and protection instincts show up — even after years of therapy.

We also talk about:

Navigating a complicated relationship with your mother

Why “doing the right thing” can still feel awful

Anger vs. self-control and what emotional maturity actually looks like

Loneliness during the holidays and the push-pull of wanting connection

Learning to validate yourself instead of tearing yourself apart

What it means to be proud of yourself for the first time

This episode is about breaking old patterns, choosing accountability over aggression, and learning how to sit with uncomfortable emotions instead of acting them out.

We’re not therapists. We’re just two people in therapy, talking through what we’re learning in real time.

If you’re struggling with family conflict, holiday depression, anger issues, or feeling behind in life, this one’s for you. Thanks for being here... Secondhand Therapy.

BUSINESS INQUIRIES: [email protected]

Follow us here:
http://instagram.com/secondhandtherapypod
http://tiktok.com/@secondhandtherapypod

Contact us:
[email protected]
818-850-2448
PO BOX 230595, Las Vegas, NV 89105

Lou still hates a mismatch as he struggles with his desire to be more vulnerable. Lou and Michael discuss what it means to ask for emotional support. Lou's therapist dropped a bombshell on where shame comes from, especially if you had emotionally immature parents or if your parents always fixed your mistakes for you. Lou takes care of everything and hates it and loves it. Lou and Michael talk about whether we are alone in life. Sidenote: you can hear the extreme winds that spread fire across Los Angeles, throughout the episode. We did our best with the audio.

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-BetterHelp:

If you’re struggling, consider therapy with our sponsor. Visit https://betterhelp.com/secondhandtherapy for a discount on your first month of therapy.

If you have questions about the brand relating to how the therapists are credentialed, their privacy policy, or therapist compensation, here is an overview written by the YouTube creators behind the channel Cinema Therapy that goes into these topics: https://www.reddit.com/r/cinema_therapy/comments/1dpriql/addressing_the_betterhelp_concerns_headon_deep/

-The Maca Team:

Louie really does take Maca every day. (He takes Black and Tri-Blend). He loves it.

http://themacateam.com/secondhandtherapy

promo code: bearcub for 10% off

-Light Phone:

Louie really does have and use a Light Phone III. He loves it.

https://www.thelightphone.com/shop?ref=mmexymn

promo code: secondhandtherapy for $50 off pre-order of Light Phone III

______

BUSINESS INQUIRIES: [email protected]

Follow us here:
http://instagram.com/secondhandtherapypod
http://tiktok.com/@secondhandtherapypod

Contact us:
[email protected]
818-850-2448
PO BOX 230595, Las Vegas, NV 89105

We welcome Jenny Zigrino to discuss loss, coping, addictive behaviors, and disordered eating—and what real recovery looks like when you stop avoiding the pain underneath it all.

An honest conversation about grief, relapse, shame, emotional regulation, and learning healthier ways to cope when life feels overwhelming.

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-BetterHelp:

If you’re struggling, consider therapy with our sponsor. Visit https://betterhelp.com/secondhandtherapy for a discount on your first month of therapy.

If you have questions about the brand relating to how the therapists are credentialed, their privacy policy, or therapist compensation, here is an overview written by the YouTube creators behind the channel Cinema Therapy that goes into these topics: https://www.reddit.com/r/cinema_therapy/comments/1dpriql/addressing_the_betterhelp_concerns_headon_deep/

-The Maca Team:

Louie really does take Maca every day. (He takes Black and Tri-Blend). He loves it.

http://themacateam.com/secondhandtherapy

promo code: bearcub for 10% off

-Light Phone:

Louie really does have and use a Light Phone III. He loves it.

https://www.thelightphone.com/shop?ref=mmexymn

promo code: secondhandtherapy for $50 off pre-order of Light Phone III

______

In this episode, we have an honest, unfiltered conversation about grief, coping mechanisms, addiction, recovery, and eating disorders—and how deeply connected they often are. We explore how unresolved grief can fuel addictive behaviors, disordered eating, emotional avoidance, and unhealthy coping strategies, and what recovery actually looks like beyond surface-level fixes.

We talk about substance addiction, behavioral addiction, food addiction, binge eating, restriction, relapse, emotional regulation, trauma responses, and shame, and how these patterns show up in everyday life and relationships. The conversation also touches on mental health recovery, therapy, self-awareness, harm reduction, relapse prevention, and building healthier coping tools when life feels overwhelming.

This episode is for anyone navigating loss, grief, addiction recovery, eating disorder recovery, mental health struggles, or the long, nonlinear process of healing. It’s raw, compassionate, and focused on understanding—not judgment.

BUSINESS INQUIRIES: [email protected]

Follow us here:
http://instagram.com/secondhandtherapypod
http://tiktok.com/@secondhandtherapypod

Contact us:
[email protected]
818-850-2448
PO BOX 230595, Las Vegas, NV 89105

Michael starts off dissecting his newfound daddy issues and how validation and disappointment plays into his life before getting into his younger self. Lou and Michael get into their individual desires to express more gratitude. Lou explores the dichotomy of having a great life but not feeling great all the time before discussing EMDR.

______

-BetterHelp:

If you’re struggling, consider therapy with our sponsor. Visit https://betterhelp.com/secondhandtherapy for a discount on your first month of therapy.

If you have questions about the brand relating to how the therapists are credentialed, their privacy policy, or therapist compensation, here is an overview written by the YouTube creators behind the channel Cinema Therapy that goes into these topics: https://www.reddit.com/r/cinema_therapy/comments/1dpriql/addressing_the_betterhelp_concerns_headon_deep/

-The Maca Team:

Louie really does take Maca every day. (He takes Black and Tri-Blend). He loves it.

http://themacateam.com/secondhandtherapy

promo code: bearcub for 10% off

-Light Phone:

Louie really does have and use a Light Phone III. He loves it.

https://www.thelightphone.com/shop?ref=mmexymn

promo code: secondhandtherapy for $50 off pre-order of Light Phone III

______

BUSINESS INQUIRIES: [email protected]

Follow us here:
http://instagram.com/secondhandtherapypod
http://tiktok.com/@secondhandtherapypod

Contact us:
[email protected]
818-850-2448
PO BOX 230595, Las Vegas, NV 89105