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My Emotional Affair Turned Physical // How I Saved My Marriage After Infidelity - Ben Armstrong
This week on the Brave Co Podcast, I’m joined by one of my dearest friends, Ben Armstrong to dive deep into what it really means to own your mess. Ben was deep in full-time ministry when he disconnected from his wife, and in that void, made one of the gravest mistakes of his life. He walked away with an affair that could have destroyed everything—his marriage, his kids, his ministry, and his identity.But in admitting the truth and choosing to live in the light, Ben began the toughest journey of his life. Together, they navigated confrontation, shame, weekly counseling, rebuilding trust with their kids, and transparency with their community. Ben’s radical ownership—not excuses—became the foundation for a transformed marriage, and a renewed sense of masculinity grounded in strength, accountability, and faith.In this episode, we unpack how to own your mess, when to bring others into the healing process, how to navigate the shame cycle, and how real healing happens one consistent step at a time. Whether you’re looking for preventative tools or healing after a betrayal, this is your guide. Press play and lean in—it’s time to become the man your family deserves.Chapters:00:00 - Introducing the Brave Co marriage series with Ben & Heather 01:06 - Ben shares the messy truth behind disconnection 04:06 - How a hidden emotional affair turned physical 05:00 - The moment of conviction: living in the light vs. darkness 06:14 - Heather’s reaction: ring thrown, love still present 08:00 - Facing the aftermath: “I thought this was it” 11:11 - The pivotal request: “Give it three months” 14:04 - a son’s devastation: “I feel like I don’t have a dad” 18:09 - Owning the mess with church leadership 24:06 - The long haul: building trust through discipline 30:06 - Breaking shame: owning your story without guilt 35:06 - The healing tool: validating pain without defensiveness 42:03 - Olympic-level communication: practicing curiosity ABOUT BRAVECOWe live in a time where men are hunting for the truth and looking for the codebook to manhood. At BraveCo, we are on a mission to heal the narrative of masculinity across a generation; fighting the good fight together because every man should feel confident and capable of facing his pain, loving deeply, and leading a life that impacts the world around him.
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48:17
170: Dr. Henry Cloud - Manhood in Marriage: Stop Leading Like a CEO—Start Leading Like a Husband
What does it really mean to lead in marriage as a man of God?In this episode of the BraveCo Podcast, I sit down with the legendary @DrHenryCloud —renowned author of Boundaries—to dive deep into how men can lead with strength, emotional intelligence, and spiritual clarity. If you've ever felt overwhelmed, under-equipped, or unsure how to show up in your home, this conversation is for you. We talk about everything from fatherhood and marriage to emotional connection, leadership, and how to create psychological safety in your home.Dr. Cloud lays out a clear framework for what it means to build a house—starting with connection, followed by boundaries, protection, and healthy communication. We also explore the reality that most men were never modeled connection or emotional leadership growing up. But that doesn’t disqualify you—it just means it’s time to build structure and train differently. Whether you're single, newly married, or decades into family life, this episode will equip you with practical tools to become a present, powerful, and emotionally safe man.🔔 Subscribe to grow in:Christian masculinity | Biblical manhood | Marriage leadership | Fatherhood | Emotional health | Spiritual leadership | Healthy communication | Personal development for men | Psychological safetyConnect with Dr. Henry Cloud:Website: https://www.drcloud.com/Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drhenrycloudofficial/Twitter(X): https://x.com/drhenrycloudYoutube: https://www.youtube.com/@DrHenryCloud/featuredChapters:00:00 - You Were Made for More Than Survival01:23 - The Missing Rite of Passage for Men10:55 - How to Lead a Marriage (Even If You Never Saw It Modeled)24:00 - Psychological Safety: The Secret to a Thriving Home41:22 - Boundaries Without Walls: Leading Through ConnectionABOUT BRAVECOWe live in a time where men are hunting for the truth and looking for the codebook to manhood. At BraveCo, we are on a mission to heal the narrative of masculinity across a generation; fighting the good fight together because every man should feel confident and capable of facing his pain, loving deeply, and leading a life that impacts the world around him.
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56:13
167: Brian Tome - Why Men Are Failing Today (And How We Reverse It)
This is the most important message I’ve ever shared.Brian Tome: https://www.briantome.com/For generations, young men have grown up without a father, without initiation, and without the confidence they need to thrive. I’ve seen it firsthand—men who look like adults but feel like boys inside. This episode isn't just a podcast—it's a movement to bring back something society lost: the rite of passage into manhood.At BraveCo, we believe it’s not too late. Last year, we introduced a 3.1-mile Tough Mudder Rite of Passage to our conference. What we thought would be just a powerful experience became the most transformational moment of the entire year—for sons and for fathers. I saw grown men cry. I saw boys stand tall for the first time. This year, we're believing for 300 young men to be changed forever. This is a calling, not just a challenge.In this episode, I talk with Brian Tome—founder of Crossroads Church and author of The Five Marks of a Man. We dive deep into identity, calling, spiritual maturity, and why the American church is failing to reach men. We don’t hold back. We talk about church, culture, manhood, porn, shame, and what it means to lead a life of honor. If you’re tired of surface-level conversations and ready to go deep—this is your episode.ABOUT BRAVECOWe live in a time where men are hunting for the truth and looking for the codebook to manhood. At BraveCo, we are on a mission to heal the narrative of masculinity across a generation; fighting the good fight together because every man should feel confident and capable of facing his pain, loving deeply, and leading a life that impacts the world around him.
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57:03
166: Healing a Fatherless Generation Through Brotherhood
The most transformational moment in a young man's life is when he is seen, accepted, and welcomed into manhood. As a father of three sons and a man who has walked through his own journey of becoming, I’ve seen how powerful it is to receive that blessing—from a father or a man you respect. Too many men are aging without ever feeling like they've become men. They carry a painful emptiness, unsure of their identity, still longing for validation.That’s why we created the Rite of Passage at BraveCo. In 2024, we added a 3.1-mile Tough Mudder course to our annual BraveCo Conference. We thought it’d be a challenge—but it became the most powerful moment of the week. Watching grown men speak life into boys—boys who might not even have a father at home—was deeply moving. It wasn't just a physical test; it was a spiritual transition. And now, for BraveCo 2025, we’re going bigger: 300 young men, stepping into purpose, identity, and strength.If you’ve ever longed to be that kind of man—or to raise one—I invite you to step up. Bring your son. Invite the boy who’s fatherless. Help us reverse the curse that has plagued this generation. Together, we can rebuild a culture where men are known, empowered, and free. You don’t want to miss this. BraveCo 2025 may be the turning point in your story, too.ABOUT BRAVECOWe live in a time where men are hunting for the truth and looking for the codebook to manhood. At BraveCo, we are on a mission to heal the narrative of masculinity across a generation; fighting the good fight together because every man should feel confident and capable of facing his pain, loving deeply, and leading a life that impacts the world around him.
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35:40
165: Why Most Men Never Grow Up (And How We Break the Cycle)
As a counselor, pastor, and father, I’ve seen firsthand how many men carry invisible wounds into adulthood—wounds caused by the absence of true initiation into manhood. This episode dives deep into that missing moment that every man longs for: the point where he is looked in the eyes and told, “You’re capable. You belong.” Whether it's your father, a mentor, or a community of strong men, that rite of passage changes everything—and without it, we often grow old without ever really growing up.In this BraveCo episode, I reflect on a pivotal moment from our men’s conference where we invited boys into manhood through a powerful and symbolic rite of passage. I also break down the emotional toll uninitiated men face in their marriages. Many husbands are trapped in cycles of shame, unable to “hit the mark” emotionally with their wives—not because they don’t care, but because they were never taught how. I explain the differences between sympathy, empathy, and true compassion—and how those three tools can transform your relationships.This isn't just theory. These are real stories from the trenches of marriage, mentorship, and fatherhood. I offer practical tools and language you can use today to connect with your wife, lead your family, and stop the shame spiral that keeps you disconnected. If you’re tired of surviving manhood and ready to thrive in it, this one’s for you. Let’s get to work.ABOUT BRAVECOWe live in a time where men are hunting for the truth and looking for the codebook to manhood. At BraveCo, we are on a mission to heal the narrative of masculinity across a generation; fighting the good fight together because every man should feel confident and capable of facing his pain, loving deeply, and leading a life that impacts the world around him.
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