Feeding To Sleep Podcast

I recorded this episode a few times before finding what felt right because I didn’t want to just go over all the viral posts like the ones that said things like “gentle parenting is raising brats, gentle parenting has gone too far, we are raising kids who are too soft…” there were more but I think you get the point. I feel like that conversation’s already been done.
Instead I’m sharing what those posts brought up in me especially as someone who leaned hard on gentle parenting when I first became a mum. I thought if I just followed all the right scripts, I wouldn’t mess up my kids. But over time, it started to feel rigid. Robotic. Disconnected from what my kids and my nervous system actually needed.
In this episode, I talk about:
* Why gentle parenting stopped feeling good for me
* What I’ve found instead in high nurture parenting
* And how shifting away from perfection and into connection has been deeply healing
If you’re curious about high nurture, I highly recommend The Nurture Revolution by Dr. Greer Kirshenbaum.
I’d love to know what’s your experience with gentle parenting? Does it feel like it’s helping or like something’s missing?



This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit feedingtosleep.substack.com

I wanted to talk about this post by @goodnightmoonchild and @earthmilkmoon
When I sat down to record this the post was sitting around 400 comments and now at the time of posting it’s at over 500.
There were a lot of different opinions. Some people loved it. Others said it was giving tradwife and the post was called reductive, unrealistic and bashing mothers who choose to work.
But here’s what I saw:
I saw a post that called out what a lot of us are thinking but don’t talk about. That if is ok to reevaluate what matters, to take a pause, to slow down, to forgo the extras and be creative about it.
A great reminder that you don’t have to justify wanting more presence, more time and more connection with your kids.
👇 Let me know what it brings up for you and if you are-how you are choosing to get creative?
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This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit feedingtosleep.substack.com

Hi, I’m Jess. Welcome back to Feeding to Sleep, where we talk about biologically normal baby sleep, responsive nights, and what it really feels like to care for a little one day and night.
In this episode, I’m sharing a story I nearly didn’t record. It’s raw, it’s recent, and it’s honest.
Over the past few weeks, we went through a tough patch with my baby’s sleep he was waking every hour, rolling, pinching, teething, sickness… all of it. And I found myself waking up full of rage.
Which then brought on the guilt: I know this is normal, I talk about it all the time, why can’t I cope better?
In this episode I talk about:
* What this season looked like for us
* The moment I realised there was nothing I could “fix”
* What actually helped me feel more resourced
* Why not all support feels supportive (and how to spot the difference)
* How I’m doing now that we’ve come through the other side
If you’re in it right now too, I want you to know this: you’re not doing anything wrong.
This isn’t about having all the answers.
Sometimes what helps most is just knowing that you’re not alone.
Here’s the Q&A I talked about in the episode with @jillianmothers on Instagram.
Have you been through a hard time with sleep at this age (10–14 months)? What helped you feel more supported? I’d Hit reply or leave a comment so we can keep this conversation going.
With love + support,Jess
P.S. If your baby’s sleep feels harder right now than it did a few months ago, you’re not doing anything wrong. Some seasons ask more of us and that doesn’t mean you’re failing. It just means you might need a little more care too.


This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit feedingtosleep.substack.com

This week’s episode, I’m responding to a Reel (and the full YouTube video behind it) where a doctor lays out a strict sleep training plan and claims it’s not just about sleep, it’s about healing generational trauma.
But here’s what’s actually being advised:
* A rigid, clock-based routine: same wake time, same naps, same bedtime every day.
* Wake your baby up if they fall asleep in your arms so you can put them down "awake."
* Let them cry for 20 to 30 minutes repeatedly.
* And if that’s hard for you? That’s your trauma. Not your instincts.
And I just… no.
In this episode, I talk about why this messaging is not healing, it’s pressure.
Why I believe healing doesn’t come from withdrawing love or ignoring a crying baby.
And why your discomfort isn’t proof that you’re broken, it’s proof that you care.

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Here’s what I dive into in this episode:
* Why letting your baby cry isn’t a parenting skill
* How maternal instincts are being dismissed as emotional dysfunction
* The deeply gendered and outdated history of mainstream sleep training
* What the science actually says about how mothers and fathers respond to infant cries
* Why healing can look like cuddling, feeding, rocking, and following your baby’s cues
* And a personal story about how responsive parenting helped me begin to heal my own childhood wounds
Referenced in this episode:
Neuroscience of parental response to crying:
* Parsons et al., 2016: Mothers show increased activity in emotional regulation and empathy regions in response to baby cries (Social Neuroscience).
* Abraham et al., 2014: Mothers’ and fathers’ brains activate differently, mothers with emotional regulation, fathers more with logic and problem-solving (PNAS).
Historical context:
* Dr. Emmett Holt (1894) and Dr. Richard Ferber (1980s) popularized rigid, non-responsive sleep training methods. Both men. Neither developed these ideas from hands-on caregiving.
Closing quote from:The Nurture Revolution by Dr. Greer Kirshenbaum
“In order to build a brain that is resilient, healthy, and able to withstand adversity later in life, babies need brain-nurturing experiences while they are developing.”
If you’ve ever felt like your instincts were the problem… they’re not.
Responding to your baby is not weak.Wanting to hold them, comfort them, or keep them close is not trauma.
It’s connection.
It’s caregiving.
It’s the work of real healing.
With love + support,Jess
Feeding to Sleep
P.S. Have you seen this kind of messaging online lately? Did it make you feel confused, frustrated, or even a little judged? You’re not alone. I’d love to hear your thoughts—drop them in the comments or reply to this email.
This post is not medical advice.


This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit feedingtosleep.substack.com

This week’s episode is about a post that I came across that says “separating feeding and sleeping is an important ingredient in infant sleep.”
And while the post does mention that it might not apply to newborns, the overall message still pushes the idea that:
“if your baby is eating, they should be awake. If they’re sleeping, they shouldn’t be eating.”
Except… that’s just not how babies work.

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Feeding and sleeping have always been closely linked for babies. It’s built into their biology, their brains, and our bodies. Suckling helps babies settle. Night feeds support your milk supply. And yes babies of all ages can and do feed or comfort nurse while drifting in and out of sleep.
That’s not something that needs to be “fixed.”
Trying to separate the two too early can cause so much unnecessary stress. It often leads parents to feel like they’re doing something wrong for letting their baby fall asleep while nursing, or for using the breast as a tool to soothe, when in reality, that’s one of the most natural and time-tested ways to help a baby sleep.
In this episode, I talk through what I saw, why it frustrated me, and what I want you to know if you’ve come across advice like this that left you second-guessing yourself.
You’re not spoiling your baby. You’re not missing some secret method.
You’re just parenting a real baby in the real world and you’re not doing it wrong if your baby still needs to feed at night.
With love + support,Jess
Feeding to Sleep
P.S. Have you seen this kind of messaging online lately? Did it make you feel confused, frustrated, or even a little judged? You’re not alone. I’d love to hear your thoughts—drop them in the comments or reply to this email.
This post is not medical advice.


This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit feedingtosleep.substack.com