Raising Boys & Girls

• Episode 321: Understanding the Individualist and Enneagram 4's with David and Sissy

  Fours bring depth, texture, and beauty to the world—helping all of us see what’s true and lovely through story, song, nature, and the poetry of everyday life. Their superpower is sitting with complex emotions and holding nuance, which can anchor families in grief and hard conversations. We also name a few common traps: chasing the “exceptional,” push–pull dynamics when others don’t respond just right, and letting feelings define identity. Helpful practices include simple, steady routines for the mundane, channeling empathy outward, and remembering that many feelings pass more quickly than they seem—often in about 90 seconds. For parents, Fours shine in attunement and deep listening—so pair that Olympic-level support with calibrated challenge and an invitation to move forward. Teach kids to sort feelings from truth, give Four girls room to feel without hopping on the rollercoaster, and point them toward purpose; with Four boys, expect some identity “trying on,” name the melancholy default without shaming, and keep both empathy and next steps in play. Growth and grace—always both. Mentioned in the podcast: Brave: A Teen Girl’s Guide to Beating Worry & Anxiety — Sissy Goff (referenced for parents of teen girls). “Someday Soon” by Wilder Woods (Bear Rinehart) — lyric about feeling like a stranger. Raising Boys and Girls episode #94 Giving Up Parental Control with Betsy & Gene Cashman . . . . . .  Sign up to receive the⁠ bi-⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠monthly newsletter⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ to keep up to date with where David and Sissy are speaking, where they are taco'ing, PLUS conversation starters for you and your family to share! Connect with David, Sissy, and Melissa at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠raisingboysandgirls.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠Owen Learns He Has What it Takes: A Lesson in Resilience⁠ ⁠Lucy Learns to Be Brave: A Lesson in Courage⁠⁠ . . . . . .  If you would like to partner with Raising Boys and Girls as a podcast sponsor, fill out our⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Advertise With Us⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ form. A special thank you to our sponsors: QUINCE: Go to ⁠Quince.com/rbg⁠ for free shipping on your order and three hundred and sixty-five -day returns. THRIVE MARKET: Head over to ⁠ThriveMarket.com/rbg⁠ to get 30% off your first order and a FREE $60 gift.  NIV APPLICATION BIBLE: Save an additional 10% on any NIV Application Bible and NIV Application Commentary Resources by visiting faithgateway.com/nivab and using promo code RBG. BOLL & BRANCH: Get 15% off plus free shipping on your first set of sheets at Bollandbranch.com/rbg⁠. Exclusions apply. KA’CHAVA: Go to Ka'Chava and use code RBG for 15% off your next order. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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• Episode 320: Letting Go of Pressure & Performance with Enneagram 3 Parents, Kelli Haywood & Brandon Verner

  We loved this honest, hopeful conversation with two dear friends—Kelli Haywood and Brandon Verner—who both live as Enneagram 3s at home and at work. If you’re a Three (or love one), you’ll hear so much of your own story: the high energy and discipline, the adventurous “let’s go!” spirit, and the quiet temptation to substitute charm and productivity for feelings and presence. Kelli and Brandon name the hard places (kids feeling pressure to perform, our tendency to “manage” outcomes, the pull to keep moving instead of feeling) and offer practical ways forward: stop and pause, slow your voice and body, ask “Are you open to feedback?”, repair with specific apologies, and build family rhythms that prize connection over winning. You’ll hear beautiful stories about advocating for our kids, making memories through shared adventure, and creating homes where children feel deeply safe, fully accepted, and free to be themselves. . . . . . .  Sign up to receive the⁠ bi-⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠monthly newsletter⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ to keep up to date with where David and Sissy are speaking, where they are taco'ing, PLUS conversation starters for you and your family to share! Connect with David, Sissy, and Melissa at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠raisingboysandgirls.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠Owen Learns He Has What it Takes: A Lesson in Resilience⁠ ⁠Lucy Learns to Be Brave: A Lesson in Courage⁠⁠ . . . . . .  If you would like to partner with Raising Boys and Girls as a podcast sponsor, fill out our⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Advertise With Us⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ form. A special thank you to our sponsors: QUINCE: Go to ⁠Quince.com/rbg⁠ for free shipping on your order and three hundred and sixty-five -day returns. THRIVE MARKET: Head over to ⁠ThriveMarket.com/rbg⁠ to get 30% off your first order and a FREE $60 gift.  NIV APPLICATION BIBLE: Save an additional 10% on any NIV Application Bible and NIV Application Commentary Resources by visiting faithgateway.com/nivab and using promo code RBG. BOLL & BRANCH: Get 15% off plus free shipping on your first set of sheets at Bollandbranch.com/rbg⁠. Exclusions apply. KA’CHAVA: Go to Ka'Chava and use code RBG for 15% off your next order. WAYFAIR: Get organized, refreshed, and ready for the holidays for way less. Head to Wayfair.com right now to shop all things home. HARBOR: Restore your peace of mind with Harbor: the only baby monitor designed to never fail you. Plus, Harbor has a special deal for our listeners. Use code RBG or go to Harbor.co/RBG for $50 off and experience the security every parent deserves Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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• Episode 319: Understanding the Achiever and Enneagram 3's with David and Sissy

  In today’s episode, we’re diving into the world of Enneagram Threes—the Achievers. Threes bring incredible energy, focus, and drive into everything they do. They’re natural leaders, quick thinkers, and inspiring motivators who help teams (and families!) move forward. But behind that determination can be a deep pressure to perform and a tendency to confuse “who I am” with “what I do.” We talk about how Threes’ productivity and polish can sometimes overshadow their emotional world, and how kids of Threes may feel like they need to “keep up” or perform, too. Together, we unpack the difference between being loved for who you are versus what you achieve—a truth every Three parent needs to hear. We also explore what these traits look like in parenting—how Threes create structure and security, but may need intentional space for rest, play, and vulnerability. We share practical ways to slow down, lower the bar, and connect with your kids without an agenda. For moms and dads of Threes, we talk about the impact of image-conscious parenting in a social media age, how to model healthy failure, and how to keep performance from defining family life. Whether you’re a Three yourself or love someone who is, this episode is a reminder that your worth—and your child’s—isn’t earned. You’re loved for who you are, not what you do. Books mentioned in this episode: Freeing Your Child from Anxiety by Tamar Chansky How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie . . . . . .  Sign up to receive the⁠ bi-⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠monthly newsletter⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ to keep up to date with where David and Sissy are speaking, where they are taco'ing, PLUS conversation starters for you and your family to share! Connect with David, Sissy, and Melissa at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠raisingboysandgirls.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠Owen Learns He Has What it Takes: A Lesson in Resilience⁠ ⁠Lucy Learns to Be Brave: A Lesson in Courage⁠⁠ . . . . . .  If you would like to partner with Raising Boys and Girls as a podcast sponsor, fill out our⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Advertise With Us⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ form. A special thank you to our sponsors: QUINCE: Go to ⁠Quince.com/rbg⁠ for free shipping on your order and three hundred and sixty-five -day returns. THRIVE MARKET: Head over to ⁠ThriveMarket.com/rbg⁠ to get 30% off your first order and a FREE $60 gift.  NIV APPLICATION BIBLE: Save an additional 10% on any NIV Application Bible and NIV Application Commentary Resources by visiting faithgateway.com/nivab and using promo code RBG. BOLL & BRANCH: Get 15% off plus free shipping on your first set of sheets at Bollandbranch.com/rbg⁠. Exclusions apply. KA’CHAVA: Go to Ka'Chava and use code RBG for 15% off your next order.  DOSE: Save 30% on your first month of subscription by going to ⁠dosedaily.co/RBG ⁠or entering RBG at checkout. EVERYDAY DOSE: Get 45% off your first subscription order of 30-servings of Coffee+ or Bold+. You’ll also receive a starter kit with over $100 in free gifts including a rechargeable frother and gunmetal serving spoon by going to everydaydose.com/RGB or entering RGB at checkout. You’ll also get FREE gifts throughout the year! JOLIE: Jolie will give you your best skin & hair guaranteed. Head to jolieskinco.com/RBG to try it out for yourself with FREE shipping. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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• Episode 318: Not Getting Tangled Up in Our Kids Emotions / Enneagram 2's with Sherman Bucher & Heather Flener

  In this week’s episode, we sit down with two of our favorite Twos—Heather Flener and Sherman Bucher—for a conversation full of warmth, laughter, and self-awareness. These two embody the best of what it means to be “The Helper,” and their stories bring the Enneagram Two to life in such relatable ways. Heather and Sherman share how their caring hearts show up in parenting, friendships, and everyday life—and how that same deep empathy can sometimes make it hard to step back and care for themselves. We loved hearing them talk about learning to set boundaries, finding rest, and practicing the kind of self-care that allows them to keep loving well without burning out. From stories about childhood moments of “helping” to reflections on parenting as a Two, this conversation is full of insight and encouragement for anyone who gives a lot to others. And in true Two fashion, they even close things out by describing their ideal meal—small, intimate gatherings where connection is rich and laughter is easy. It’s a tender, joy-filled conversation that will make you want to call the helper in your life and say thank you. Book referenced in the episode: Girls on the Edge and Boys Adrift by Leonard Sax . . . . . .  ⁠Owen Learns He Has What it Takes: A Lesson in Resilience⁠ ⁠Lucy Learns to Be Brave: A Lesson in Courage⁠⁠ Sign up to receive the⁠ bi-⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠monthly newsletter⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ to keep up to date with where David and Sissy are speaking, where they are taco'ing, PLUS conversation starters for you and your family to share! Connect with David, Sissy, and Melissa at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠raisingboysandgirls.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ . . . . . .  If you would like to partner with Raising Boys and Girls as a podcast sponsor, fill out our⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Advertise With Us⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ form. A special thank you to our sponsors: QUINCE: Go to ⁠Quince.com/rbg⁠ for free shipping on your order and three hundred and sixty-five -day returns. THRIVE MARKET: Head over to ⁠ThriveMarket.com/rbg⁠ to get 30% off your first order and a FREE $60 gift.  NIV APPLICATION BIBLE: Save an additional 10% on any NIV Application Bible and NIV Application Commentary Resources by visiting faithgateway.com/nivab and using promo code RBG. BOLL & BRANCH: Get 15% off plus free shipping on your first set of sheets at Bollandbranch.com/rbg⁠. Exclusions apply. KA’CHAVA: Go to Ka'Chava and use code RBG for 15% off your next order.  OUR PLACE: Stop cooking with toxic cookware, and upgrade to Our Place today. Visit fromourplace.com/RBG and use code RBG for 10% off site wide. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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• Episode 317: Understanding the Helper and Enneagram 2's - David and Sissy

  In this week’s episode, we’re diving into one of our favorite Enneagram numbers—Twos, “The Helpers.” We love Twos. They’re the nurturers of the world—nurses, teachers, counselors, and caregivers who instinctively know when someone needs a little extra kindness. We shared how much we admire their hearts, but also how easy it can be for Twos to lose sight of their own needs. Whenever we’re speaking to a crowd, we always look for a Two—someone smiling, nodding, and radiating warmth that makes us feel right at home. We also talked about the challenges Twos face—the need for validation, the struggle to rest, and the importance of setting boundaries and practicing self-care. We wrapped up by calling Twos the “golden retrievers” of the Enneagram—loyal, loving, and endlessly giving—and reminding them they’re deeply loved, not for what they do, but for who they are. Book referenced in the episode: Emotional Agility by Dr. Susan David . . . . . .  ⁠Owen Learns He Has What it Takes: A Lesson in Resilience⁠ ⁠Lucy Learns to Be Brave: A Lesson in Courage⁠⁠ Sign up to receive the⁠ bi-⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠monthly newsletter⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ to keep up to date with where David and Sissy are speaking, where they are taco'ing, PLUS conversation starters for you and your family to share! Connect with David, Sissy, and Melissa at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠raisingboysandgirls.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ . . . . .  If you would like to partner with Raising Boys and Girls as a podcast sponsor, fill out our⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Advertise With Us⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ form. A special thank you to our sponsors: QUINCE: Go to ⁠Quince.com/rbg⁠ for free shipping on your order and three hundred and sixty-five -day returns. THRIVE MARKET: Head over to ⁠ThriveMarket.com/rbg⁠ to get 30% off your first order and a FREE $60 gift.  NIV APPLICATION BIBLE: Save an additional 10% on any NIV Application Bible and NIV Application Commentary Resources by visiting faithgateway.com/nivab and using promo code RBG. BOLL & BRANCH: Get 15% off plus free shipping on your first set of sheets at Bollandbranch.com/rbg⁠. Exclusions apply. KA’CHAVA: Go to Ka'Chava and use code RBG for 15% off your next order.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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