Recovery Elevator

• RE 524: Memories of Alcohol

  Today we have Charlie. She is 32 years old from London, UK. She took her last drink on December 28th, 2024.   Sponsors for this episode include: Better Help – 10% off of your first month   In October of this year, we are going to Peru!  There are still spots available for this 11-day 12-night journey throughout Cusco, Machu Picchu and the Sacred Valley. Registration closes June 2nd which is the deadline for Inca trail tickets.   [02:50] Thoughts from Paul:   According to NCS solutions, who poll people about their drinking, the number of people who want to cut back on their drinking increases every year.   In 2025, 36% more people participated in Dry January than in 2024. A good reason why the numbers are increasing is reflected in a poem Paul shares called Memories of Alcohol by an unknown author.   So much of the work we do is reframing how we view alcohol. Subconsciously it is still deeply ingrained in our culture that drinking enhances our lives, but we have all learned that it doesn’t. Once the voice in our head starts telling us that a drink would be nice or we deserve a drink we can start giving it some tough love and tell it that no, a drink would not be nice and please give me some better ideas.   [05:09] Paul introduces Charlie:   Charlie is a software engineer from London and will be getting married in April. For fun, Charlie has rediscovered that she enjoys skiing, running and swimming.   Growing up, Charlie witnessed both parents struggle with divorce and use of alcohol and medications.  She started drinking when she was around 14. Charlie says everyone around her drank and seemed to be having a good time, so she joined in without thinking twice.   Around her mid-twenties, Charlie started to have a subtle undercurrent of doubt in her mind and a quiet voice suggesting that maybe she wasn’t the best version of herself anymore. Since she never had what others would consider a problem, she didn’t think her drinking was an issue.   Charlie began to find things weren’t going wrong for her, but they weren’t necessarily going right either. She felt stagnated. In an effort to try and make changes to this she removed alcohol from time to time and began to connect the dots between her stagnation and the alcohol use.   Charlies says she tried moderation, but it was exhausting. Her all-or-nothing mentality made it difficult. She also shares that she has had multiple stints of around 100 days without alcohol because she learned that was a good amount of time to feel many of the positive effects of quitting.   This time feels different for Charlie because she has leaned into the sobriety community a bit more. She has been listening to podcasts and reading books and learned that the key to maintaining sobriety is to find community. Since there are more people around her encouraging her and sharing insights, Charlie feels this time is indefinite as opposed to the other times when she had a finish line of sorts.   Charlies says since quitting drinking her positivity has returned and she is feeling like the younger version of herself now. She shares that it’s amazing how much you can fit into a day when half of it isn’t taken up by drinking or recovering from it.   Charlie’s parting piece of guidance: if you’ve never quit drinking before, what’s that worst that can happen?   Recovery Elevator It all starts from the inside out. I love you guys. We can do this.     Café RE RE merch Recovery Elevator YouTube Sobriety Tracker iTunes       

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  41:49
• RE 523: It’s All Gray Area Drinking

  Today we have Robbie. He is 43 and lives in Moses Lake, WA. He took his last drink on August 15th, 2024   Sponsors for this episode include: Better Help – 10% off of your first month   3,649 days ago, or 1 day shy of ten years, the first episode of the Recovery Elevator podcast dropped. Paul remembers the date well because for three months after the first episode released, he kept thinking “oh my God, what have I done?”. Burning the ships in podcast format gave Paul a lot of anxiety, but here we are, 523 weeks later and thank you listeners, for keeping the show alive.   30 Best Sobriety Podcasts   [04:13] Thoughts from Paul:   Paul shares the definition and his thoughts around the term gray area drinking. The definition states that it is the space between end-stage drinking and every now and again drinking. Gray area drinking could also be classified as someone who can stop drinking without medical detox or can stop on their own before someone stages an intervention.   Paul believes it’s all gray area drinking. Be it one beer a month or 10 beers a night. One common thread he hears on this podcast is “and then xyz happened”. It’s these major life events that can ramp up the drinking and everyone has life happen to them.   [07:10] Paul introduces Robbie:   Robbie is 43 years old and lives in Moses Lake, WA. He currently works at a chemical plant in the semiconductor industry. He has five children in the age range of eight months to 14. They enjoy spending time outdoors and at the lake near their home. Robbie is a big sports fan and played sports often while growing up.   Robbie took his first drink when he was in college in his 20s. He didn’t drink much until he lost his dad in 2013.  Without knowing how to process his grief and having young children, Robbie learned that drinking helped him be numb and he started drinking four or five days a week. At the time, Robbie was working as a corrections officer, which was a very stressful job that contributed to his drinking as well.   In 2018 Robbie’s marriage ended. This was the first time he had been away from his children. He moved two hours away from them to stay at his mom’s house. After his second DUI in two weeks, the judge imposed alcohol monitoring for Robbie. This helped him stay sober for a year but only because he had to be.   Thinking he could now moderate, Robbie started drinking soon after no longer having the monitoring device. He says he wasn’t having a good time, and he was just using it to numb out from multiple traumas.   In February 2024 Robbie reached a breaking point and reach out to his brother-in-law who helped him find a treatment center in Utah. Robbie was there for 35 days and felt like he had made a lot of progress. He learned a lot about himself and started doing counseling. Robbie finally got some help dealing with some big traumas throughout his life. He says he feels like he used alcohol to punish himself thinking he deserved to be miserable.   After a brief relapse, Robbie says he woke up on August 15th and just knew it was over, and he had to stop drinking for good. He decided to try naltrexone which he first learned about in rehab. He took it for the first month and says he still has no desire to drink. Robbie goes to AA meetings, listens to podcasts and audiobooks, and is a member of Café RE. Robbie stays accountable with his family and friends at work. People have noticed a positive change in him.   In the past Robbie quit drinking because he was forced to, or for other people. He said on August 15th; he was doing it for himself. He says sobriety is the greatest gift to himself and his kids.   Robbie’s parting piece of guidance: If you’re asking yourself if you drink too much or if it’s becoming a problem, it already is. Listen to your gut. Believe in yourself that you can quit.   Recovery Elevator You took the elevator down; you got to take the stairs back up. We can do this.     Café RE RE merch Recovery Elevator YouTube Sobriety Tracker iTunes       

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  46:35
• RE 522: Would a Drink Help

  Today we have Jeremy. He is 43 years old and lives in Portland, Maine. He took his last drink on January 23rd, 2019.   Sponsors for this episode include: Better Help – 10% off of your first month   Recovery Elevator is going back to Peru in October 2025. On this 10-night, 11-day trip of a lifetime, we will be hiking the Inca Trail and participating in two service projects. Registration has been open for two weeks and we have about five or six spots left.   [01:40] Thoughts from Paul:   About three weeks ago, we had a gentleman named Nate share his story for one of our dry January sessions. He mentioned that just before he quit drinking, his spouse poured out a bottle of Jameson Irish whiskey onto their lawn. The whiskey killed a circular patch of grass, making it an area where conditions were no longer suitable for growth, and Nate eventually had to replace the entire section of grass.   Today's episode is titled "Would a Drink Help?". This phrase is often depicted in movies, TV, and other media after a long day or stressful event. For those of us who find it difficult to have just one, a drink will never help. It’s not the fifth or the 10th drink that gets you into trouble, it’s always the first. Because it leads you to have the fifth or 10th drink which will leave a dead ring of grass inside us.   Unlike grass, our brains and bodies can heal from the poison. So, in answer to the question of “would a drink help?” the answer is always no, and it will always leave you in a worse position. We wouldn’t ask this question about any other substance either.   It takes time before the neurons in the brain that a drink can help stop firing together so go easy on yourself.   [07:11] Paul introduces Jeremy:   Jeremy is 43, married with no kids and works in tech consulting. They have an English bulldog and for fun, Jeremy enjoys snowboarding, hiking, and music. He is also a house music DJ and plays multiple instruments.   Jeremy first began to recognize that his drinking was an issue for him in his twenties. He began drinking in his teens and used alcohol to help him escape feelings around an assault that happened when he was 15. Since Jeremy didn’t participate in team sports in school, he spent time with people that did other things like drink and do drugs.   After taking a six-month break from drinking when he was 22, Jeremy thought he was fine since he was able to quit for a period of time. He moved to Boston, made some friends there and began grad school. He shares that his drinking didn’t look out of control but as he approached his 30s, he realized that his friends were starting to slow down, have families and he was still wanting to spend time in bars. Over time his drinking was creating issues with his wife, and he was starting to feel unhappy both when he was drinking and when he was not. Things looked ok on the outside, but inside they were breaking down. The blackouts were becoming a major issue for him, and he couldn’t see a way out.   In 2018, Jeremy and his wife had a fight and that’s when he broke down and told her he was struggling. He started reading books about quitting but was still struggling after a few weeks. A note from his wife was a catalyst to seek help from therapy and he discovered SMART Recovery. He kept going back and made connections with others in the meetings.   Jeremy shares how there are so many ways to get sober now and that you don’t have to hit rock bottom to quit drinking. He says you have to get over the fear and just focus on the day in front of you. Since quitting drinking Jeremy says he has learned that he doesn’t need alcohol to feel comfortable anymore. He is comfortable with who he is now and with therapy has helped learn to love himself and forgive himself for the past.   Recovery Elevator You took the elevator down; you got to take the stairs back up. We can do this.     Café RE RE merch Recovery Elevator YouTube Sobriety Tracker iTunes       

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  49:51
• RE 521: The Drunkest Place in America

  Today we have Dave. He is 69 years old from Beaver Creek, CO. He took his last drink in September 17th, 2024.   Sponsors for this episode include: Better Help – 10% off of your first month Sober Link - receive $50 off of a device   If you have quit drinking and are looking for new alcohol-free friends, Café RE is the social app for sober people. Come join the party!   Tonight begins our first ever AF Songwriting Course starting at 8pm EST. Connect with other sober musicians and improve your own song writing skills.   [02:40] Thoughts from Paul:   Paul shares an article from the San Francisco Chronicle regarding the tanking sales of red wine in San Francisco restaurants. All alcohol sales were down but mocktail sales were up.   Many people share that it’s tough to quit drinking where they live. Paul discovered a statistic from the CDC that says where he lives in Gallatin County, Montana is listed as the drunkest of all 3,244 counties in America.   In the state of Montana, they place a white cross on the road where traffic fatalities occur in hopes of reminding drivers to take caution and slow down. 66% of these white crosses are alcohol related.   There is no judgement towards those that are still binge drinking. At Recovery Elevator, we are not better than anyone, we have just chosen a different path. If you feel called to walk this pathway with us, we’d love to have you.   [10:01] Paul introduces Dave:   Dave lives in Beaver Creek, CO with his dog Tango. He is very active in the AA community in his area and cherishes the connections he has made there. He enjoys skiing, biking, and traveling. He has three kids and recently became a grandfather. Dave is currently seeking his master’s degree in clinical counseling.   Alcohol was present in Dave’s life growing up as his parents drank socially. He drank socially as well throughout high school and college. He drinking didn’t become problematic until later. Dave shares that his alcohol use disorder stemmed from his chronic childhood emotional trauma. Alcohol later became the solution to dealing with unwanted emotions.   In 2016 after raising his kids independently and a relationship had ended, Dave started to use drinking to deal with some voids in his life. He had a successful commercial real estate business but didn’t have many local friends at the time.   Dave went to rehab in 2017 after having two DUIs in December of 2016. He was able to stay sober until 2021 and says again it was emotional overwhelm that sparked more field research. He found help in a psychologist who was a clinical director of a rehab facility. He was able to get sober again in July of 2021.   A reunion in September of 2024 found Dave having beers with friends thinking he would just have a few and would be fine. Dave had more the next day and realized that if he didn’t clear the rest of the alcohol out at the end of the day, he would continue to drink. Dave credits his tools and connection in AA to being able to get sober once again.   Dave is huge on connection. Both connections with people and connections with a higher power. He enjoys going to meetings and being of service to others in the community. Dave says one of the greatest gifts of sobriety for him is giving up control of outcomes. He chooses to deal with emotional overwhelm is awareness and since he no longer has alcohol in his system it is easier for him to be aware of what is happening. Dave is a big believer in journaling because of the connection from the hand to the head. When he puts his feelings on paper, he can see rational versus irrational thoughts.   Dave’s parting piece of guidance: stay with your feelings, journal about them.   Dave is looking for internship that involves 200 hours of direct engagement of one-on-one counseling with or without supervision. If you can help, reach out to [email protected].     Recovery Elevator You took the elevator down; you got to take the stairs back up. You can do this.     Café RE RE merch Recovery Elevator YouTube Sobriety Tracker iTunes       

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  55:20
• RE 520: The Next Party Begins

  Today we have Kathy. She is 57 years old from Phoenix, AZ. She took her last drink on October 21st, 2024.   Sponsors for this episode include: Better Help – 10% off of your first month   Registration for one of our best international sober travel itineraries opens today, as we are going back to Peru October 4th – 15th, 2025. We are starting off in Cusco, then head into the sacred valley, and of course we’re doing the Inca Trail to Machu Picchu.   Next Monday our first ever AF Songwriting Course starts at 8pm EST. Connect with other sober musicians and improve your own song writing skills.   [02:43] Thoughts from Paul:   At the end of last week's episode, I discussed how certain chapters in our lives might be closing, particularly those involving drinking and all the associated antics. As Yung Pueblo poetically expressed, endings are a natural part of life. The universe thrives on cycles, where every beginning anticipates an eventual end. Embrace this closure, grieve it, if necessary, write a farewell letter and consign it to the flames if it helps. But remember, alongside the end of the partying comes the end of hangovers, bloating, puffy eyes, heartburn, and a myriad of other unpleasant side effects.   Let yourself mourn the end of this chapter. For me, the cessation of drinking heralded a new beginning in September 2014. Let's explore what awaits after setting the bottle aside—a life free from elevated liver enzymes.   Five months ago, I asked our Instagram followers to describe sobriety in three words. The prevailing themes were peace, energy, and presence. I can't predict your future, but I can assure you that whatever it holds, you'll face it with more vitality, tranquility, and mindfulness. This journey is far from solitary, as more Americans are reducing their alcohol intake.   So, as one party ends, another begins, brimming with the promise of a healthier, more vibrant life.   [06:09] Paul introduces Kathy:   Kathy is 57 years old, is divorced and lives in Phoenix, AZ with her husky mix named Mario. She works in big data analytics. For fun, Kathy enjoys walking her dog, hiking, riding a mountain bike, kayak and read. She enjoys memoirs, thrillers and enjoys Quit Lit.   Kathy says her drinking was in the moderate category for many years. In her forties she became part of a friend group that enjoyed drinking and spending time on the lake together. Kathy was comfortable letting her hair down and didn’t have any fears of becoming an alcoholic.   Kathy did begin to question her drinking after it started noticeably affecting her sleep and how she felt the next day. She explored some Quit Lit and since her drinking didn’t look like the author’s, Kathy decided it wasn’t bad enough to stop completely but would try to cut back a bit and skip days here and there.   When Kathy was diagnosed with early-stage breast cancer, the doctors put her on pills she couldn’t drink with. It was a relief to her to have to stop, but was surprised how little support others would have for her not drinking. After her oncologist told her she could drink a little, she started drinking again. A constant cycle of ramping up and ramping down began.   After some issues with her white blood count, Kathy had to quit for three weeks awaiting a blood test. She decided to join Café RE for support to quit drinking. Kathy really identifies with gray area drinking and has found stories from other people helpful in continuing her pursuit of quitting drinking. She prefers her life without alcohol and hopes to continue. She says her sleep has improved and she looks forward to lifting weight again, traveling and being cancer-free.   Kathy’s parting piece of guidance: if you’re questioning it, just start talking to sober people, join Café RE, seek out more podcasts, whatever.     Recovery Elevator Alcohol is shit and we both know it. I love you guys.     Café RE RE merch Recovery Elevator YouTube Sobriety Tracker iTunes       

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  38:05

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