Recovery Elevator

• RE 545: The Healing Process

  Today we have Rachel. She is 48 years old and lives in Minneapolis, MN. She took her last drink on August 28th, 2018.   This episode brought to you by: Better Help – 10% off of your first month #sponsored Sober Link – learn more and save $50 off of a device     Come join us in beautiful Bozeman, Montana this August 6th – 10th for our annual flagship retreat. We have a few camping spots as well as a few spots left in the men’s cabin.   [02:50] Thoughts from Paul:   Healing can look a bit like a paradox and Paul shares several examples showing this. Tying this same idea into ditching the booze we can say that quitting drinking can make you feel more anxious at first, when it’s actually making you calmer in the long run. Quitting drinking can make you feel more emotional and raw when it’s actually making you more resilient. Sobriety can make you feel bored at first, but it’s actually clearing space for hobbies and adventures that you’ll deeply enjoy.   Healing can hurt at first, but look out, brighter days are just on the horizon. Can you do this? Absolutely. Will there be stumbles, bad days? Without a doubt.   You can do this, you are doing this and you’re further along on your AF journey than you think. Keep moving forward.   [06:30] Paul introduces Rachel:   Rachel is 48 and lives just outside of Minneapolis, MN. She is married and they have three cats. She is a director in financial services and for fun she enjoys reading, writing and attending meet ups with other sober people.   Alcohol was always present when Rachel was growing up. She was an achiever in school and had already completed some college before graduating high school. Drinking was not a focus for her through her school years, and she didn’t start drinking until later in her life.   Around 2008 during the national financial crisis, Rachel says her drinking changed. Being a bond trader during this time was tough due to the uncertainty of the future. Rachel found herself having a drink after work and it became part of habit loop for her: go to work, come home, have a drink.  Over the next 7 to 10 years, that one drink turned into multiple bottles.   Rachel was desperate to figure out how to solve this issue without drinking and tried moderation with no luck. She began reading books like This Naked Mind and listening to podcasts like RE. She felt the stories on the podcast were relatable because they were normal people and not the stereotypical bum under a bridge with the brown paper bag.   After hearing suggestions of trying to quit for 30 days, Rachel decided to try it and has been sober ever since. She says the first three days were hard but within seven days she was sleeping better than she ever had. Rachel began substituting wine with sparkling water and while it was tough at first, it became her new habit. She also joined Café RE and found community there and in AA.   Rachel recently self-published a book called Functional: A High Performer's Guide to Achieving Freedom from Alcohol. She says she wrote a book that she wishes were available to her when she got sober. Many of the books out there have glaring rock bottom moments which Rachel said she didn’t have. She believes that it may sometimes be harder for people without a rock bottom to quit because it isn’t as obvious that they need to.   Rachel’s best advice to somebody that is functional is to just try to quit for 30 days and use it as a time of self-discovery.   Recovery Elevator It all starts from the inside out. I love you guys. We can do this.   Café RE – the social app for sober people RE on Instagram Recovery Elevator YouTube Sobriety Tracker iTunes       

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• RE 544: Trying to Control an Uncontrollable Thing

  Today we have Thea. She is 55 years old from Madison, WI and took her last drink on February 10th, 2019   This episode brought to you by: Better Help – 10% off of your first month #sponsored Exact Nature – 20% off your order with code RE20   We have just a couple of cabin spots left for our upcoming retreat in Bozeman, Montana. This retreat is from August 6th through 10th.   Coming in January 2026, our AF Ukelele Course. Registration for that opens in December.   Also coming next year in October 2026, we will have an in-person ukelele retreat where we’re having Spanish instruction in the afternoons. This will be in Costa Rica. More information will be coming soon about that event.   [02:45] Thoughts from Paul:   On the journey into an alcohol-free life, it almost always consists of a chapter where we are trying to control the uncontrollable. But something takes place that we aren’t aware of and that’s that alcohol has become uncontrollable – and we haven’t realized it yet.   You might be asking yourself if your drinking has reached that point and may have searched for a sobriety podcast because there were aspects of your drinking that you were unable to control. The longer you try to control the uncontrollable, the less sanity you are left with.   Paul wants you to ask yourself if you are trying to control the uncontrollable thing. He and many of us have learned that we cannot control our drinking, but the opportunities are endless in what we CAN do without alcohol in our lives, the same can be true for you.   [07:06] Paul introduces Thea:   Thea is 55 years old, grew up in a small town in Wisconsin but now lives in Madison with her husband of almost 30 years, and they have three grown boys. Thea works in education. She loves to cook, bake, read, and attend sporting events.   Thea says she drank a little in high school, but it wasn’t out of control. After going to college where the culture involved binge drinking, Thea drank more. Being someone that didn’t suffer from hangovers, she never looked at her drinking as a problem.   Thea met her husband after college when they married and had three kids. She says she would binge drink occasionally, but not enough to create red flags and her husband can take it or leave it. Thea says she didn’t drink during her pregnancies or drink every night, but as her kids got older and needed her less, she fell into the habit of drinking more.   Thea would drink socially but preferred to drink covertly at home where she could have as much as she wanted. Over time she began to feel like she needed the alcohol to function and was becoming physically addicted to it.   A few years later, some family members had an intervention with Thea. The message she took away was that she needed to hide her drinking better in the future. The following summer, Thea’s sister-in-law called her out on her drinking again, and they went to the ER. It was recommended that she go to a detox center which Thea refused to do. She opted to detox on her own, which is not recommended. After doing that, she enrolled in an IOP but was just going through the motions to try and become a normal drinker again – she had no intention of quitting.   Thea feels she was getting nudges from God to address the issue. It wasn’t until February 10th, 2019, that the message finally got through. Thea was very sick and throwing up blood. She was in and out of the hospital dealing with the symptoms of her failing liver. Thea feels that something finally clicked, and she has not wanted to have a drink since that first day when she went to the hospital.   After two years sober, Thea started listening to podcasts and reading quit lit. She eventually found her way back to AA and it feels like home this time. Thea is very open about her recovery with her family and is grateful they never gave up on her.   Recovery Elevator It all starts from the inside out. I love you guys.   RE on Instagram Recovery Elevator YouTube Sobriety Tracker iTunes  Café RE    

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• RE 543: Alchemize Your Apocalypse

  Today we have Ronnie. He is 41 years old from Kiowa, CO and took his last drink on June 1st, 2025.   This episode brought to you by: Better Help – 10% off of your first month #sponsored Café RE – the social app for sober people.   [03:17] Thoughts from Paul:   From the cavemen to the ancient Greeks, to modern humans, there’s always an apocalypse on the horizon. The apocalypse outside of us, we can’t control and there has never not been one. The only apocalypse you can control is the one caused by alcohol which is happening inside of you.   Paul reminds us that no matter how fearful the news programs and the politicians want you to be, we’ve never not had an external apocalypse looming and geological record will tell you the same.   Disconnect from all of the news and connect to yourself, others, nature, a ripe mango, a snuggle with a dog because you know what? We’re okay. Get yourself some time away from alcohol and you’re going to be very much okay.   [07:54] Paul introduces Ronnie:   Ronnie is 41 years old, lives in Kiowa, CO with his wife and four children. Ronnie works as a home inspector. For fun, Ronnie enjoys spending time with his kids and spending time outside. His family has 40 acres and a variety of animals which his children show with 4-H.   Ronnie began drinking when he was 17 after discovering that alcohol was a magical elixir that suppressed his inhibitions and insecurities. By the time Ronnie was in college, he was partying regularly. After a few semesters, he had failed out of school, moved back home and began working in construction.   After some time, Ronnie moved to Colorado and began working for a faith-based non-profit organization in addition to being a home inspector on the side. Drinking was something they did not allow their staff to do. This enabled Ronnie to remain mostly sober during that time, only drinking when he was around friends back home.   Ronnie and his wife married in 2011 and moved to Portland, Oregon. He grew accustomed to the culture of going out for cups of coffee, but when they returned to Colorado Ronnie saw that the culture there was going out for beers. This began alcohol creeping back into his life slowly.   When COVID happened, his job with the non-profit ended and Ronnie was home inspecting full time. Ronnie says they lost two and a half streams of income, and it left him depressed and having trouble with night terrors. He started using alcohol to help him sleep. It turned into daily drinking which led Ronnie to start exploring whether or not he had an issue. In the process, he discovered the RE podcast.   Around this time, Ronnie began to try moderation. He was using a sobriety tracker and said he reset it over 20 times before he was able to get a week. After he was able to stay sober for three weeks, he thought he had it under control but before long was back to drinking daily.   On that night of what ended up being Ronnie’s last drink, he awoke to his heart racing and massive anxiety. He told his wife that he thought he had a problem which she said she knew, and instead of being judgmental, she asked what she could do to help. The next day Ronnie learned that his wife had contacted some friends that had dealt with addictions, and they were all ready to help.   Within the first day, Ronnie threw out all of the alcohol in the home. This opened up the conversation with his kids about addictions and healthy ways of coping with emotions. Over the last 12 days, Ronnie has seen his sleep improved. He has realized that alcohol no longer has a place in his or his family’s life.   Ronnie says that every time he tells someone about his addiction, a weight lifts. This motivates him to keep going. He is finding healthy ways to deal with stress and sleep. Exercise, meditation, audiobooks and listening to the RE podcast have been helpful to him on this journey.   Recovery Elevator You took the elevator down, you gotta take the stairs back up We can do this I love you guys   RE on Instagram Recovery Elevator YouTube Sobriety Tracker iTunes       

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• RE 542: You are the Hero

  Today we have Marcy. She’s 42 years old and lives in Seattle, WA. Marcy took her last drink on October 15th, 2020.   This episode brought to you by: Better Help – 10% off of your first month #sponsored Exact Nature – 20% off your order with code RE20   Paul just finished the rough draft of his second book entitled Dolce Vita, The Good Life and expects it to be released this September.   [00:00] Thoughts from Paul:   In a recent article presented on Newsbreak entitled Alcohol is Killing More Americans Today than 20 Years Ago, it shares that mortality from liver disease has increased significantly across most demographic groups in the US from 1999 to 2022. Death from liver disease went from 6.7 to 12.5 deaths per 100,000 people. The annual increase was higher among women than men, and young people showed “concerning trends”. And of course, minority populations are hit hardest.  American Indian and Alaska Native populations, faced the highest death rates. Those increased from about 25 to nearly 47 per 100,000 over the last 20 years.   While this podcast is supposed to be uplifting and positive it also has to be real. The spirit alcohol is claiming more lives than ever.   Remember last week’s episode titled The Quiet Revolution? You are part of the not so anonymous army that solves this... Your quitting drinking is the answer for everyone else who struggles with addiction. You're turning your gaze inward when people in charge are pointing their finger outward. You are the hero.   [00:00] Paul introduces Marcy:   Marcy is 42 years old and lives in Seattle, WA with her partner and their cat. She works at a production company as a creative producer and makes psychedelic music videos in her spare time. For fun, she enjoys the outdoors and says the Pacific Northwest is a beautiful place to be outside.   Marcy says she was a very shy kid with a lot of anxiety. She had her first drink when she was 16 and by 18, she had a fake ID and spent a lot of time in bars and drinking almost daily. Her drinking never looked normal, Marcy says.   Marcy had her first blackout at her bachelorette party in her mid-twenties. Those began to become normal for her which began to concern her. Marcy would tell everyone that she was quitting drinking but was never able to succeed.   Alcohol began to put a strain on Marcy’s marriage. She realized she needed to do something to fix it. She began to attend AA and tried to work the steps but was struggling with being honest with herself and others about her problem and continued to drink.   Marcy and her partner ended up divorcing, which sent her on a downward spiral since she no longer had anyone to be accountable to. After she was robbed one night, her parents talked her into going to inpatient rehab. She was supposed to stay for 30 days but only made it through 11 and decided to attend outpatient rehab instead. Marcy was able to fake her way through the outpatient program while she was still drinking.   From 2016 to 2019, Marcy says she was on a merry-go-round from hell. She would try to change, fail and then beat herself up. She returned to AA, found a sponsor and had a service position that helped her build a new routine. She made it to 30 days sober and then relapsed which sent her back into a cycle that Marcy says was worse than ever.   An extreme rock bottom found Marcy quitting again. After two months without drinking, a friend wanted Marcy to attend a meeting she was speaking at. This led Marcy to return to AA. She threw herself all-in and attended a meeting every day for the next year.   These days life for Marcy is mellow instead of chaotic. She says she has the capacity to explore her creativity, goes to work every day and enjoys yoga regularly. Her tools for dealing with anxiety are breathing and knowing her boundaries and limits.   Recovery Elevator You took the elevator down; you’ve got to take the stairs back up. We can do this.         RE on Instagram Recovery Elevator YouTube Sobriety Tracker iTunes       

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• RE 541: The Quiet Revolution

  Today we have Marisa. She is 50 years old from Fairfax, VA and she took her last drink on March 17th, 2024.   This episode brought to you by: Better Help – 10% off of your first month #sponsored Exact Nature – 20% off your order with code RE20   Check out the upcoming Recovery Elevator Events:   August 6th – 10th – Bozeman Retreat – we have about 12 spots left October 4th – 14th – Peru January 2026 – Restore And much more coming in 2026!   [03:18] Intro summary:   You may be listening right now and feeling tired. Not just sleepy tired, but soul tired. This kind of tiredness comes from trying to clean up your inner world while the outer world feels like it’s run by toddlers having the world’s most expensive tantrum.   You're choosing consciousness while others choose chaos. You're picking love while others are picking fights. You're building your spiritual muscles while they're flexing bank accounts and crypto wallets.   This is a contradiction that we are living in and it’s hard to be sober, raw, real and authentic in a dysfunctional world. However, the quiet revolution matters. The decision to face our demons instead of drowning them matters. The choice to feel everything instead of nothing matters. You're not just quitting drinking—you're quitting the lie that says we have to be drunk to survive this world.   Keep going. The world needs your consciousness more than it needs another unconscious knee jerk reaction. Ditching the booze and cleaning up your inner world is how we solve this mess.   [07:58] Paul introduces Marisa:   Marisa is 50 years old and lives in Fairfax, VA. She is engaged and has a 12-year-old daughter. She works as a government contractor, enjoys live music, spending time outside, traveling, reading and binge-watching TV.   Marisa says that for her, alcoholism was not a progressive disease. She had her first drink at 12 and the first time she got very drunk was 13 and she loved it. Alcohol assisted her in numbing the pain of abuse that she experienced in her childhood. Marisa has always known alcohol was a problem for her.   Over the next 30 or so years, there were ebbs and flows to Marisa’s drinking. She always had an excuse/reason that she chose to drink like she did. Because she was high functioning, no one really knew about her issues. When she started seeing a therapist in 2022, she told them about her drinking and says a weight was lifted. Marisa met with a substance abuse counselor a few times after that, but didn’t have a good experience and wasn’t ready to try AA again.   Marisa would try to moderate for the next few years but eventually knew something had to change. She told a friend of hers who she knew was in recovery that she had an intention of quitting for 30 days and began to attend AA.   Since quitting, Marisa says that she has never looked back. She knew that drinking was no longer serving her. Remembering the six-week spiral that she went through before quitting helps remind her of who and where she doesn’t want to ever be again.   Marisa knows she needs to stay tethered to her recovery through attending meetings, seeing her sponsor once a week, listening to podcasts and talking with other people in recovery often.  Marisa has gone to therapy for quite a while but wasn’t committed to it when she was drinking. Now she is doing the work and beginning to heal from the traumas that drove her to seek relief with alcohol.   Marisa’s parting piece of guidance: it was difficult to get sober, but it has been amazing and wonderful and easy to stay sober.   Recovery Elevator All of this change starts from the inside out. I love you guys.   RE on Instagram Recovery Elevator YouTube Sobriety Tracker iTunes       

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