It's Not About the Alcohol

I woke up a little hungover this morning. I had a third glass of wine I didn't need. And instead of spiraling into shame, I did what I always do now—I grabbed my journal and got curious.
In this episode, I'm walking you through exactly what I do the morning after I drink too much. The four mindset tools that set me up to learn instead of spiral into shame. The journaling framework I use to extract the lesson. And what I discovered about why my mind and body were out of sync.
But I'm also being honest: this process only works if you're in a certain place in your journey. If shame and frustration are still running the show, this episode might feel overwhelming. If that's you, I'll explain what to do instead.
What I cover:
→ Why another drink feels like a good idea when your nervous system is stressed
→ The four mindset tools you need to expand your perspective so you can extract a valuable lesson
→ How to tell the difference between your conscious intentions and subconscious habits
→ Why willpower doesn't work when you're dysregulated
→ What to do if this process feels impossible (you've got to clear the shame first)
→ The four phases of this journey and how to know where you are
This episode is for you if:
You tend to overdrink and you're tired of the shame spiral

You want to actually learn from your mistakes so you can stop repeating them

You're curious about what it looks like to change your drinking without white-knuckling

You want to understand why some approaches work for some people and not others

You're ready to figure out where you are in your journey and what you actually need

If you are ready to get support from a community of women who are co-creating this change with intention and clarity— Click here to BOOK A DISCOVERY CALL. 
 
Do you want help from Colleen with a situation you're struggling with? Click here to submit your question for Colleen's NEW Q&A episodes. Your name will not be mentioned on air! 
 
Find me on:
YouTube: @HangoverWhisperer
TikTok: @hangoverwhisperer
Instagram: @thehangoverwhisperer 
X (Twitter) : @NotAboutTheAlc

In this episode, Colleen responds to a question many women hit right after real momentum begins: What if I slip back? What if the funk comes back and I lose everything I've built?
Using a recent coaching call — and her own very real 5 a.m. spiral — she breaks down why the goal of emotional sobriety isn't avoiding hard days, negative thoughts, or uncomfortable emotions. It's learning how to recognize them early and change your relationship to them before they hijack your nervous system and run the day.
Colleen explains why awareness is most of mental health, how negative thought loops become habits, and what actually separates "good" mental health from bad: who's driving the car — you, or your mind. She walks through the five core attributes of a healthy mindset and shows how shifting perspective first is what makes action, clarity, and forward motion possible.
This episode reframes funks as normal, growth as uncomfortable, and success as the ability to take ownership in real time — not the absence of struggle.
 
🔑 Key Takeaways
Why the goal isn't avoiding funks — it's changing how you respond to them



How awareness interrupts negative thought spirals before they take over



Why mental health is a skill, not a personality trait



The difference between being driven by your mind vs. driving it



The five attributes of a healthy, powerful mindset



Why feeling better comes before changing your circumstances



How internal locus of control creates momentum, resilience, and freedom



This episode is a reminder that you don't lose progress because you wake up in a funk — you lose progress when you let the funk decide who you are and how you show up.
 
If you are ready to get support from a community of women who are co-creating this change with intention and clarity— Click here to BOOK A DISCOVERY CALL. 
 
Do you want help from Colleen with a situation you're struggling with? Click here to submit your question for Colleen's NEW Q&A episodes. Your name will not be mentioned on air! 
 
Find me on:
YouTube: @HangoverWhisperer
TikTok: @hangoverwhisperer
Instagram: @thehangoverwhisperer 
X (Twitter) : @NotAboutTheAlc

Why does the wine start calling at 5pm—even when you promised yourself this morning you wouldn't drink tonight? In this episode, Colleen breaks down exactly what's happening in your nervous system when willpower fails, why high achievers are stuck in chronic stress mode, and how the shame spiral is actually making you drink more. Plus, three body-based tools you can use tonight to complete your stress cycle and finally give your body what it's actually asking for.
Key Takeaways:
Your desire to drink at night isn't weakness. It's your nervous system asking for relief the only way it knows how.

Your body doesn't speak English—she speaks energy, movement, rhythm, breath, and sensation.

The habit that needs to break isn't how much you drink. It's the belief that you have to stay in constant motion.

Expanding capacity isn't about doing less. It's about teaching your body how to hold more without living in survival mode.

When you learn to give your body what it actually needs, the drink becomes optional—not because you're white-knuckling, but because you're not desperate anymore.

The Three Tools:
Shaking/Swaying — All animals shake off stress. Release the energy that got stuck in your muscles.

The Voo Exercise — Deep breath in, then "vooooo" until all the air is out. Stimulates your vagus nerve.

Bilateral Stimulation — Left-right rhythmic movement (walking, tapping shoulders, tapping thighs) tells your nervous system you're not frozen.

If you are ready to get support from a community of women who are co-creating this change with intention and clarity— Click here to BOOK A DISCOVERY CALL. 
 
Do you want help from Colleen with a situation you're struggling with? Click here to submit your question for Colleen's NEW Q&A episodes. Your name will not be mentioned on air! 
 
Find me on:
YouTube: @HangoverWhisperer
TikTok: @hangoverwhisperer
Instagram: @thehangoverwhisperer 
X (Twitter) : @NotAboutTheAlc

In this episode, Colleen unpacks one of the most misunderstood truths in emotional sobriety: drinking isn't a character issue — it's a nervous system response to chronic stress, shame, and unmet needs.
Drawing from The Myth of Normal by Gabor Maté, she explains why so many of us learned to survive in environments that never felt safe — and how culture, economics, and generational trauma quietly wire our bodies to seek relief wherever we can find it.
This episode explores why healing often makes the urge to numb louder at first, how shame removes our sense of choice, and why compassion isn't a feeling you wait for — it's a perspective you practice. Colleen reframes healing not as fixing what's broken, but as recovering the parts of yourself that adapted to survive.
This is a conversation about why the drink was never the point — and how emotional sobriety begins when you understand what the behavior has been protecting you from.
 
🔑 Key Takeaways
Why drinking is often about relief, not desire



How chronic stress and insecurity train the nervous system to numb



Why shame keeps you reactive instead of choiceful



The difference between fixing yourself and retrieving yourself



Why compassion works better than willpower



How healing becomes possible when responsibility feels empowering, not punitive



This episode is a reminder that the behavior makes sense — and that understanding it is what gives you your power back.
 
If you are ready to get support from a community of women who are co-creating this change with intention and clarity— Click here to BOOK A DISCOVERY CALL. 
 
Do you want help from Colleen with a situation you're struggling with? Click here to submit your question for Colleen's NEW Q&A episodes. Your name will not be mentioned on air! 
 
Find me on:
YouTube: @HangoverWhisperer
TikTok: @hangoverwhisperer
Instagram: @thehangoverwhisperer 
X (Twitter) : @NotAboutTheAlc

This is a follow-up to last week's episode about a client whose New Year's resolution to "drink less" was already failing two days in. I talked about how emotional overwhelm leads to a "functional freeze," and why this is more than a habit, it's a survival strategy. 
On the coaching call, we uncovered exactly why she's needed a survival strategy. Like many women who experience a decrease in libido due to hormone changes, she's spent the last decade having obligatory sex with her husband. Because a good wife takes care of her man, right? But also having to put up with his temper tantrums and passive aggressive behavior when she doesn't put out has left her with a mountain of frustration and resentment that until now, she didn't have the tools to process.
This episode is about the emotional straightjacket so many women find themselves in. How having sex to keep the peace forces you to disconnect from not just your sexual energy, but your life force energy.  Which is why it makes complete sense that you'd rather drink alone than be intimate with the man you love. 
In this episode, I cover:
→ The functional freeze: when you're going through the motions but feel dead inside
→ How obligatory sex shuts down desire for everything—not just sex
→ Why you need to stop participating in the hostage negotiation over your vagina
→ How the cultural programming that says women are responsible for men's sexual needs is destroying your marriage
→It's not menopause that's disabling your libido
→ The only way to rekindle desire is to give yourself what you want (especially when what you want is to be left alone)
→ Why the relationship you need to focus on repairing is NOT with your partner, but with yourself
This episode is for you if:
You'd rather drink alone than have sex with your partner

You've lost passion for things you used to love

You feel like you're just going through the motions

You've been "going along to get along" for so long you don't know who you are

If you are ready to get support from a community of women who are co-creating this change with intention and clarity— Click here to BOOK A DISCOVERY CALL. 
 
Do you want help from Colleen with a situation you're struggling with? Click here to submit your question for Colleen's NEW Q&A episodes. Your name will not be mentioned on air! 
 
Find me on:
YouTube: @HangoverWhisperer
TikTok: @hangoverwhisperer
Instagram: @thehangoverwhisperer 
X (Twitter) : @NotAboutTheAlc