You've been told your drinking is the problem. That if you could just control the behavior — stay sober long enough, count your days, follow the rules — the shame would go away.
But what if it's the other way around?
In this episode, Colleen gets personal about her three years of sobriety and what she discovered underneath all that "perfect behavior" — a lifetime of shame that started long before she ever picked up a bottle of wine. She breaks down why shameful behaviors come FROM shame (not the other way around), why sobriety can become just another form of performing your way around the real problem, and what actually works to break the cycle.
In this episode, you'll learn:
The critical difference between guilt and shame — and why most women are living in shame and calling it guilt
Why the shame driving your drinking didn't start with your drinking — it started in childhood
How perfectionism, people-pleasing, over-functioning, and control are all shame management strategies that require more coping mechanisms like drinking
Why sobriety motivated by shame is built on a fault line — and what happens when it cracks
Colleen's personal story of trading one escape hatch (alcohol) for another (perfectionism and productivity addiction) — and what finally broke the pattern
Key takeaway: Your drinking isn't driving the shame cycle. Shame is driving the drinking cycle. And until you address the shame underneath, no amount of willpower, sobriety challenges, or rule-following will create lasting change.
Watch The FREE Masterclass: The science behind take it or leave it–why some women can and how you can too.
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