It's Not About the Alcohol

Are you worried about "failing" at your resolution to drink less this year? Before you beat yourself up after your next slip, I need you to understand something: this isn't a willpower problem. It's not a discipline problem. Because this is far more than a habit problem. It's a survival strategy. In this episode, I'm responding to a message from a client who found herself on the couch with wine and chips after a fight with her husband—even though she swore that she was done with all that. I'm breaking down the difference between a habit and a survival strategy, why your nervous system reaches for food and alcohol when you're overwhelmed, and what it actually takes to change this pattern for good. In this episode, I cover: → The difference between a habit and a survival strategy (and why it matters) → Why negative goals ("drink less") don't work and what to focus on instead → How I was stuck in this pattern for two decades—and what finally changed → Why humans default to victimhood and how empowerment must be learned This episode is for you if: You've worried about "failing" to keep your New Year's resolution You find yourself in the same pothole every night You're exhausted from fighting a battle you keep losing You think you know what you should and don't understand why you can't get yourself to do it You're ready to stop surviving and start thriving   If you are ready to get support from a community of women who are co-creating this change with intention and clarity— Click here to BOOK A DISCOVERY CALL.    Do you want help from Colleen with a situation you're struggling with? Click here to submit your question for Colleen's NEW Q&A episodes. Your name will not be mentioned on air!    Find me on: YouTube: @HangoverWhisperer TikTok: @hangoverwhisperer Instagram: @thehangoverwhisperer  X (Twitter) : @NotAboutTheAlc

🪩 HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE!!! 💃  In this episode, Colleen pulls back the curtain on what overwhelm actually looks like from the inside — not as a failure, not as burnout drama, but as a nervous system hitting its limit after years of living in survival mode. What began as growth, ambition, and "doing what needed to be done" quietly turned into a chronic stress response that her body could no longer sustain. Colleen shares how stress doesn't disappear just because it's fueled by passion or positive goals, why rest alone didn't bring her back online, and how ignoring the need to complete the stress response kept her cycling between overdrive and collapse. She walks through the moment she realized overwhelm wasn't something to push through… it was an invitation. An invitation to slow down, restructure her life and business, challenge long-held beliefs about success, and create enough space for her nervous system to actually recover. What followed wasn't stagnation — it was clarity, momentum, and a deep sense of having reached her next level. This episode is for anyone who feels capable, driven, and committed… but secretly exhausted. And for anyone wondering if it's possible to work less reactively, feel more powerful, and still move forward in meaningful ways. 🔑 Key Takeaways • Why stress isn't a mindset problem — it's a physiological state • How positive growth can still keep you trapped in survival mode • The difference between resting and actually completing the stress response • Signs you've crossed from stress into overwhelm — before your body shuts you down • Why overwhelm is an invitation, not a failure • How creating space restores clarity, creativity, and capacity • What it really means to reach your "next level" without burning everything down This is a reminder that healing overwhelm doesn't require doing less forever — it requires doing things differently. And when you listen to your body instead of fighting it, breakthroughs happen faster than you think. If you are ready to get support from a community of women who are co-creating this change with intention and clarity— Click here to BOOK A DISCOVERY CALL.    Do you want help from Colleen with a situation you're struggling with? Click here to submit your question for Colleen's NEW Q&A episodes. Your name will not be mentioned on air!    Find me on: YouTube: @HangoverWhisperer TikTok: @hangoverwhisperer Instagram: @thehangoverwhisperer  X (Twitter) : @NotAboutTheAlc    

You know what you need to do. So why can't you get yourself to do it? Because you've been waiting for motivation to show up—like it's some mysterious force that either finds you or it doesn't. But motivation isn't magic. It's dopamine. And dopamine follows rules. In this episode, I'm breaking down exactly how dopamine works in your brain, why your current approach to drinking less is actually making it harder, and how to reverse-engineer your goals so that the actions you need to take feel rewarding instead of punishing. This isn't about willpower. It's about becoming someone who genuinely wants to do the things that lead to drinking less—because you've trained your brain to find them pleasurable. In this episode, I cover: → The two reasons dopamine fires—and how to use both to your advantage → The difference between intrinsic motivation (sustainable) and shame-based motivation (not) → Why overwhelm is the primary obstacle to change—and what it's really telling you → How to break one "habit" into the hundred smaller habits it actually contains → The delay don't deny strategy—and why it backfires if you're doing it wrong → Six specific examples of thoughts and behaviors that leverage dopamine around drinking → Why the goal isn't to drink less—it's to enjoy the upstream actions that cause you to drink less → How to use your body as a bullshit detector for your own thinking → The compound interest of small changes and how momentum builds over time   If you are ready to get support from a community of women who are co-creating this change with intention and clarity— Click here to BOOK A DISCOVERY CALL.    Do you want help from Colleen with a situation you're struggling with? Click here to submit your question for Colleen's NEW Q&A episodes. Your name will not be mentioned on air!    Find me on: YouTube: @HangoverWhisperer TikTok: @hangoverwhisperer Instagram: @thehangoverwhisperer  X (Twitter) : @NotAboutTheAlc

In this episode, Colleen breaks down a moment almost every woman in this work has experienced: when your body makes a decision before your conscious mind even knows what happened. A glass of wine ordered on autopilot. No craving. No plan. Just habit taking the wheel. Using a real travel story, she explains why this isn't a moral failure, a hidden self-saboteur, or proof you "can't be trusted." It's a nervous system under pressure doing exactly what it was trained to do. When overwhelm rises and capacity drops, habits step in to conserve energy — fast. She'll walk you through how dopamine wires behavior, why old reward pathways stay available even after years of awareness, and how hindsight is where real learning happens. Instead of shame, she shows you how to process these moments with curiosity, translate impulsive behavior into emotional data, and use it as a signal for what you actually need: relief, space, safety, freedom. This episode reframes "slips" as feedback — not failure — and teaches you how to respond in a way that builds trust with yourself instead of breaking it. 🔑 Key Takeaways • Why habits take over when you're overwhelmed — even without conscious desire • How dopamine pins powerful emotional memories and reactivates them under stress • Why impulse doesn't mean weakness — it means capacity was exceeded • The difference between wanting a drink and wanting relief • How to process behavior after the fact so your nervous system can actually learn • Why shame reinforces old patterns — and curiosity dissolves them • How emotional sobriety turns hindsight into forward momentum This is a reminder that growth doesn't happen by avoiding mistakes — it happens by knowing how to metabolize them. If you are ready to get support from a community of women who are co-creating this change with intention and clarity— Click here to BOOK A DISCOVERY CALL.    Do you want help from Colleen with a situation you're struggling with? Click here to submit your question for Colleen's NEW Q&A episodes. Your name will not be mentioned on air!    Find me on: YouTube: @HangoverWhisperer TikTok: @hangoverwhisperer Instagram: @thehangoverwhisperer  X (Twitter) : @NotAboutTheAlc   Transcript  

If you've been stuck in a job that's slowly draining you—and using wine to cope with the Sunday scaries—this episode is your permission slip to start thinking about what's next. Career coach Michelle Schafer has been through two major career reinventions herself, and she's spent the last decade helping people figure out what they actually want and build a plan to get there. But here's what makes this conversation different: we get into the real stuff. The limiting beliefs that keep you playing small. The shame that makes you hide your job loss from your own family. And the tactical, right-now advice on how to use AI to actually get hired—without getting screened out by the same technology. This episode is for you if: You're languishing in a job that's draining you but feel too stuck to move You've been numbing the career dissatisfaction with wine and wondering if there's another way You're curious about using AI in your job search but don't know where to start You've been applying to jobs and hearing nothing back You need a kick in the ass to stop overthinking and start taking action Connect with Michelle on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/michelleschafercoaching/  Free offer #1: A free chapter from Michelle's book - sign up here: https://mschafercoaching.ca/cultivatingcareergrowth/  Free offer #2: Download the reflection tool Career Focus Framework here: https://mschafercoaching.ca/gain-clarity-and-confidence-in-your-job-search/  If you are ready to get support from a community of women who are co-creating this change with intention and clarity— Click here to BOOK A DISCOVERY CALL.    Do you want help from Colleen with a situation you're struggling with? Click here to submit your question for Colleen's NEW Q&A episodes. Your name will not be mentioned on air!    Find me on: YouTube: @HangoverWhisperer TikTok: @hangoverwhisperer Instagram: @thehangoverwhisperer  X (Twitter) : @NotAboutTheAlc   Transcript