Sisters In Sobriety

In this episode of Sisters in Sobriety, Sonia is joined by Amber Trejo, a licensed marriage and family therapist and certified clinical trauma professional who specializes in complex childhood trauma and the family system. Amber is also a wife and mom of three on her own healing journey, and today she helps Sonia unpack how childhood wounds quietly shape adult life — and what it looks like to move from survival mode into safety, self-regulation, and connection.

Sonia and Amber explore the ways complex trauma can show up long after childhood — through hypervigilance, perfectionism, emotional shutdown, and repeating relationship patterns. They discuss why so many people struggle to even name what happened to them, especially when emotional neglect, invalidation, or silent treatment were normalized.

Amber shares a nervous-system-centered approach to healing, weaving in polyvagal theory, cues of safety versus danger, parts work, somatic grounding, and EMDR. The conversation touches on how trauma lives in both the brain and the body, and why healing requires more than simply intellectualizing the past — it’s about building real capacity for regulation, curiosity, and connection in the present.

In the personal story thread, Sonia opens up about having very few childhood memories, the fear of “making it up,” and the complicated ways trauma can surface later in adulthood, especially in relationships and family dynamics. Together, they connect trauma work to sobriety — exploring addiction as a form of nervous system coping, why white-knuckling often isn’t enough, and how early recovery sometimes means doing whatever it takes to get through the hardest moments with compassion.

This is Sisters in Sobriety, the support community that helps women change their relationship with alcohol. Check out our substack for extra tips, tricks and resources.

00:00 — Amber Trejo joins Sonia to discuss trauma healing
01:00 — Amber shares her own childhood trauma and path to therapy
03:00 — Trauma resurfacing through marriage and motherhood
04:00 — Complex trauma vs single-event PTSD
05:00 — Emotional neglect as an overlooked trauma wound
07:00 — Why complex trauma shows up most in relationships
08:00 — Sonia’s “grimy breaker” metaphor for trauma patterns
10:00 — Minimizing pain: “but it could be worse”
12:00 — Shame, invalidation, and not trusting emotions
14:00 — Perfectionism as a survival strategy
15:00 — Parts work and inner child healing
17:00 — Intellectualizing vs healing in the body
18:00 — Sonia on missing childhood memories
20:00 — “What if I’m making it up?” as a trauma hallmark
22:00 — Safety and resourcing before deeper trauma work
25:00 — Cues of danger, passive aggression, and hypervigilance
31:00 — Ventral vagal state: curiosity as a sign of safety
33:00 — Addiction as nervous system regulation
38:00 — Alcohol as relief before it becomes the problem
45:00 — Early sobriety: small realistic coping tools
49:00 — Creativity, aliveness, and building daily regulation practices

Amber's Links:
Instagram:
https://www.instagram.com/integrativetraumatherapist?igsh=MWpvdTI5emVyZzU4aA%3D%3D&utm_source=qr
Course for parents with trauma:
https://stan.store/Integrativetraumatherapist/p/-sjwt4r2x
Website:
https://www.theintegrativetraumatherapist.com/

SIS Links
💌 Sisters In Sobriety Substack – where the magic (and the mocktail recipes) happen
📬 Sisters In Sobriety Email
📸 Sisters In Sobriety Instagram
🌐 Kathleen’s Website Kathleen does not endorse any products mentioned in this podcast
📸 Kathleen’s Instagram
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Sonia sits down with Dr. Maria Sophocles, an internationally respected gynecologist and leader in menopause and female sexual health, to explore what really happens to intimacy, desire, and connection in midlife. The conversation challenges the often-unspoken realities of perimenopause, menopause, and sexuality—offering women reassurance, clarity, and a sense of possibility in a season that is too often misunderstood.

Sonia and Dr. Sophocles open up a wide-ranging discussion about the cultural pressure women carry around sex, the emotional weight of obligation, and how expectations in long-term relationships can quietly create distance over time. They explore themes like libido changes, communication, pleasure, dating after divorce, and the ways women can begin rewriting outdated scripts around intimacy as bodies and hormones evolve.

Throughout the episode, Dr. Sophocles breaks down the physiology of menopause beyond hot flashes—touching on vaginal dryness, arousal shifts, clitoral health, and the role of estrogen deficiency in sexual function. She also clarifies common misconceptions around hormone therapy, explains why hormone testing often adds confusion, and shares evidence-based options including vaginal estrogen and newer treatments.

Alongside the medical insight, Sonia also reflects on the personal side of this conversation—what it means to move from performance toward connection, from silence toward honesty, and from shame toward self-trust. Dr. Sophocles offers compassionate language for couples navigating change, and gentle encouragement for women stepping into this chapter with curiosity instead of fear.

This is Sisters in Sobriety, the support community that helps women change their relationship with alcohol. Check out our substack for extra tips, tricks and resources.

00:01 — Introducing Dr. Maria Sophocles and her new book The Bedroom Gap
00:02 — Why menopause training is still missing in women’s healthcare
00:03 — The most overlooked symptom: sexual shame and silence
00:05 — What the “Bedroom Gap” really means in relationships
00:07 — How gender roles set couples up for disconnection
00:09 — Why sex education is still fear-based, not pleasure-based
00:11 — Dating after divorce in midlife: a whole new world
00:13 — Sonia opens up about “duty sex” and long-term marriage patterns
00:15 — Responsive desire: why arousal can come before libido
00:16 — The power of G-rated intimacy and skin-to-skin connection
00:18 — When a hug feels like pressure: navigating partner expectations
00:20 — How to communicate needs without triggering defensiveness
00:23 — Reframing lube, toys, and support as sex-positive tools
00:25 — Menopause changes in the brain, vulva, vagina, and clitoris
00:28 — Why vaginal estrogen is one of the most underused solutions
00:32 — Breast cancer survivors and the truth about local estrogen safety
00:33 — Other treatments: Intrarosa and Osphena
00:36 — Why hormone blood tests rarely give useful answers
00:41 — Fantasy, erotic content, and “bibliotherapy” for desire
00:45 — Dr. Sophocles’ hope: grace, permission, and rewriting the rules
Dr. Sophocles Link
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/mariasophoclesmd/
TED Talk: https://www.ted.com/talks/maria_sophocles_what_happens_to_sex_in_midlife_a_look_at_the_bedroom_gap
The Bedroom Gap: https://www.amazon.com/Bedroom-Gap-Rewrite-Rules-Roles/dp/0306837404

SIS Links
💌 Sisters In Sobriety Substack – where the magic (and the mocktail recipes) happen
📬 Sisters In Sobriety Email
📸 Sisters In Sobriety Instagram
🌐 Kathleen’s Website Kathleen does not endorse any products mentioned in this podcast
📸 Kathleen’s Instagram
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Sonia and Kathleen sit down with Melanie Gulde to explore what truly supportive, humane recovery can look like—especially for women. Melanie is the Co-Founder of the Divided Sky Foundation and Program Director of the Divided Sky Residential Recovery Program in Ludlow. With more than 25 years in the field, Melanie has dedicated her life to helping people rediscover their worth and build sustainable sobriety. Her work includes founding Divided Sky in partnership with Trey Anastasio — the co-founding guitarist and lead vocalist of the jam band Phish - and launching a Women’s Scholarship Fund to reduce barriers to treatment for women.

You'll hear what actually helps people stay sober, how emotional sobriety supports long-term healing, and how joy, music, nature, and community can reshape the recovery experience. The episode also explores women-specific challenges like stigma, childcare, financial barriers, vulnerability in mixed-gender treatment settings, and why communal, women-centered environments can significantly improve outcomes.

Melanie explains how concepts like emotional regulation, unmet expectations, family systems, accountability, and values-based recovery show up in real life, and how programs like Divided Sky integrate mindfulness, music therapy, spirituality, forest bathing, and peer support to support sustainable change.

The episode also weaves in Melanie’s personal story—from getting sober in 1995 to her early work in outpatient counseling and drug court to the pivotal relationship with Trey, which led to the creation of Divided Sky. Sonia and Kathleen guide listeners through Melanie’s reflections on mentorship, mistakes, growth, and the “aha” moments that shaped her philosophy: that people don’t need punishment to heal—they need dignity, safety, and belief in their own potential.

This is Sisters in Sobriety, the support community that helps women change their relationship with alcohol. Check out our Substack for extra tips, tricks, and resources.

Episode Highlights (Time-Stamped)
00:01 — Introducing Melanie Gould and the mission behind Divided Sky
00:02 — Growing up on Long Island and early influences on empathy and service
00:03 — Getting sober in 1995 and finding a calling in recovery work
00:04 — Early mentorship lessons and learning not to take relapse personally
00:06 — What drug court teaches that traditional clinical settings don’t
00:07 — Reframing “mandated treatment” and removing judgment from recovery
00:08 — Melanie’s first interactions with Trey Anastasio in drug court
00:09 — Fear, structure, and accountability in early recovery
00:11 — How a professional relationship evolved into collaboration and friendship
00:13 — Why Divided Sky was created to treat people as individuals
00:16 — What emotional sobriety really means and why it’s transformative
00:18 — Connecting emotional sobriety with the 12 Steps
00:21 — The role of music, joy, and creativity in recovery
00:24 — Joy-based recovery and the healing power of nature
00:26 — A day in the life at Divided Sky
00:28 — Community, volunteers, and connection as recovery tools
00:30 — Why the Women’s Scholarship Fund matters
00:33 — Why women recover differently and need women-centered spaces
00:35 — Changing family dynamics and their impact on recovery
00:38 — A message of hope for anyone afraid to ask for help

Divided Sky Foundation

SIS Links
💌 Sisters In Sobriety Substack – where the magic (and the mocktail recipes) happen
📬 Sisters In Sobriety Email
📸 Sisters In Sobriety Instagram
🌐 Kathleen’s Website Kathleen does not endorse any products mentioned in this podcast
📸 Kathleen’s Instagram
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this episode of Sisters in Sobriety, Sonia sits down with veteran broadcaster, journalist, and advocate Catt Sadler for a deeply honest conversation about identity, ambition, and choosing an alcohol-free life without hitting rock bottom. Best known for her more than decade-long career at E! Entertainment—Catt has long been a familiar face on red carpets and awards-season coverage. Today, she is the host and executive producer of her weekly podcast CATT SADLER Now and a leading voice in conversations about women, power, and authenticity.

Throughout the conversation, Catt reflects on pivotal questions many women quietly ask themselves: What role has alcohol played in my stress, success, and social life? What happens when I stop numbing and start listening? Can I change my relationship with alcohol even if everything “looks fine” on the outside? Together, they unpack themes of high-functioning drinking, midlife reflection, identity shifts, nervous system regulation, and how wellness, meditation, and journaling can open the door to clarity and self-trust.

You'll walk away with practical and educational insights around mindful sobriety, habit change, and emotional regulation. Catt shares how meditation, breathwork, journaling, and intentional morning routines supported her decision to stop drinking—and why removing alcohol created more energy, better sleep, deeper presence, and emotional resilience. The episode also explores the role of shame in keeping women stuck, how cravings and discomfort actually pass, and why modeling alcohol-free coping skills matters—especially for our children and communities.

In a powerful personal segment, Catt opens up about the spiritual nudges that ultimately led her to quit drinking, the internal resistance she felt despite “not having a problem,” and the moment she realized that alcohol no longer aligned with the highest version of herself. She shares what it was like navigating social situations, holidays, college football weekends, and emotional lows without alcohol—and how staying with herself, rather than escaping, changed everything. Her story offers a compassionate roadmap for women who sense a quiet inner knowing that it might be time to turn the page.

Episode Highlights
00:00 – Welcome and introduction to Catt Sadler
01:15 – Growing up around alcohol and early beliefs about drinking
03:45 – College, ambition, and “normal” social drinking
05:30 – Life at E!, pressure, motherhood, and survival mode
07:10 – When healing began before alcohol changed
08:40 – Reading Quit Like a Woman and early nudges
09:55 – Dating someone who could take alcohol or leave it
11:20 – Spiritual moments that clarified her decision
13:10 – Choosing to stop drinking at 51
14:45 – Alcohol not being “the problem,” but no longer fitting
16:10 – Meditation as a gateway to self-trust
18:05 – How to start meditating without overwhelm
20:40 – Early benefits of going alcohol-free
22:30 – Handling cravings, discomfort, and emotional waves
24:50 – Ice cream, Netflix, and self-compassion
26:10 – Morning routines and sacred mornings
28:20 – Gratitude journaling and manifestation
30:40 – Different journaling styles and creative play
33:15 – Letter writing, boundaries, and emotional processing
36:00 – Writing a memoir and revisiting the past
38:40 – Holidays, NA drinks, and social pressure
41:00 – Being sober around kids and modeling behavior
43:30 – Navigating parties, work events, and college campuses
46:10 – Sharing her sobriety publicly and community response
48:20 – Advice for women who haven’t hit “rock bottom”
50:00 – Closing reflections on staying with yourself

Catt's Links
Catt's IG and Substack

SIS Links
💌 Sisters In Sobriety Substack – where the magic (and the mocktail recipes) happen
📬 Sisters In Sobriety Email
📸 Sisters In Sobriety Instagram
🌐 Kathleen’s Website Kathleen does not endorse any products mentioned in this podcast
📸 Kathleen’s Instagram
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Sonia and Kathleen sit down with Oona Metz, a therapist with 30 years of clinical experience and a leading expert in helping women navigate divorce. For the past 15 years, Oona has specialized in supporting women through the realities of divorce. She is the author of Unhitched: The Essential Divorce Guide for Women.

Dr. Metz frames divorce not as a failure, but as a profound life transition—one that often reshapes identity, relationships, and sobriety. They'll explore questions many women quietly carry: What actually happens emotionally during divorce? Why does it feel so disorienting—even when you’re the one who initiated it? How do grief, anger, relief, fear, and hope coexist at the same time? And why can divorce feel so lonely even when you’re surrounded by support? They talk about the deeper layers of healing, touching on community, shame, self-trust, boundaries, and the ways alcohol can quietly become a coping mechanism during this chapter.

You'll will walk away with practical takeaways about the divorce process from a mental health perspective, including how divorce impacts the nervous system, why women often internalize blame, and how group support can accelerate healing. Dr. Metz explains the psychological stages of divorce, common emotional patterns women experience, and why validation, regulation, and connection are essential tools for recovery. The conversation also weaves in themes of sobriety, emotional regulation, self-worth, and rebuilding identity after major life upheaval.

Sonia and Kathleen reflect on how divorce can surface old coping strategies, challenge existing support systems, and force radical honesty with oneself.

This is Sisters in Sobriety, the support community that helps women change their relationship with alcohol. Check out our Substack for extra tips, tricks, and resources.

Episode Highlights
00:01 – Why divorce is more than a legal process—it’s an identity shift
03:12 – Oona’s 30-year clinical journey and why she focused on divorce work
06:45 – The emotional stages women experience during divorce
09:30 – Why divorce grief is often misunderstood and minimized
12:18 – How shame and self-blame show up for women
15:02 – The role of community and group support in healing
18:40 – Why divorce can trigger or intensify unhealthy coping behaviors
21:55 – Divorce, loneliness, and the myth of “strong women should handle it alone”
25:10 – How alcohol can quietly become emotional anesthesia during transitions
28:34 – Nervous system regulation during high-conflict or prolonged divorce
31:50 – What healing actually looks like in the first year post-divorce
35:15 – Letting go of the story you thought your life would follow
38:42 – Rebuilding self-trust after major relational loss
41:20 – Why validation matters more than advice in early healing
44:05 – Dating, boundaries, and identity after divorce
47:30 – How group work accelerates recovery and reduces isolation
50:18 – What Oona wishes every woman knew before starting divorce
53:00 – Turning divorce into a catalyst for clarity and growth
56:10 – Choosing sobriety as an act of self-protection and self-respect
59:00 – Final reflections on grief, freedom, and rebuilding a life on your terms

Dr. Metz's Links
https://www.instagram.com/oonametz/
https://www.oonametz.com/book-unhitched

SIS Links
💌 Sisters In Sobriety Substack – where the magic (and the mocktail recipes) happen
📬 Sisters In Sobriety Email
📸 Sisters In Sobriety Instagram
🌐 Kathleen’s Website Kathleen does not endorse any products mentioned in this podcast
📸 Kathleen’s Instagram
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.