Sisters In Sobriety

• Sobriety for Skeptics With Arlina Allen

  In today’s episode of Sisters in Sobriety, we explore recovery and identity with Arlina Allen, who uses neuroscience principles to help people heal, regulate stress and rewrite their patterns. What happens when alcohol is no longer our coping strategy — and how do we rebuild our nervous system, our patterns, and our sense of self? With over 30 years of sobriety, Arlina has become a trusted voice in recovery, neuroscience, self-leadership, and sustainable change. She’s also the bestselling author of The 12-Step Guide for Skeptics and host of The One Day at a Time Recovery Podcast, ranked in the top 1% of all self-help shows. This episode explores questions many women face in recovery: What if 12-step programs didn’t feel like your path—can they still work for you? How does identity, trauma, or high-functioning behavior shape addiction? Can we pursue ambition and protect our emotional health? Sonia and Arlina unpack how language—sober curious, gray area drinking, substance use disorder—can both define us and limit us, and how neuroscience can help explain cravings, coping strategies, and our repeated patterns. You'll hear practical strategies grounded in neuroscience, mindfulness, emotional resilience, and stress regulation—core principles in Arlina’s coaching programs and workshops. She breaks down how the default mode network shapes identity, the difference between spirituality and religion in recovery, and how self-regulation tools, time audits, somatic practices, and boundaries help reduce burnout without losing ambition. Recovery isn’t about adding more to your life—it’s often about subtracting what drains you. Arlina also opens up about drinking at age 10, surviving trauma, navigating intimacy, marriage, envy, perfectionism, and burnout—and how the emotional work of sobriety continues even after 31 years. This is Sisters in Sobriety, the support community that helps women change their relationship with alcohol. Check out our Substack for extra tips, tricks and resources. Time-Stamped Highlights [00:02:10] Drinking at age 10 — “relief before I understood pain” [00:04:35] High-functioning but spiraling — identity vs. consequences [00:07:00] The 12 steps as tools, even for skeptics [00:09:30] Spirituality vs religious trauma — redefining a higher power [00:11:20] Why “alcoholic” doesn’t have to be a shame label [00:13:15] Sober curious, gray area drinkers & language [00:15:10] Can AA work if you’re not fully abstinent? [00:19:00] Neuroscience 101 — the default mode network explained [00:21:50] Cortisol, sleep, neuroplasticity & emotional regulation [00:24:30] Childhood wiring and belief systems [00:27:40] Perfectionism, intimacy, and emotional avoidance [00:29:30] Working the steps inside marriage [00:33:25] Character defects vs character assets—reframing [00:36:40] Burnout in recovery — sneaky signs [00:39:45] Resentment, envy & high-performing women [00:44:00] “If you spot it, you’ve got it” — mirror theory [00:47:00] Time audits, priorities & time drunkenness [00:50:10] The Kool-Aid metaphor — why morning practices matter [00:54:05] Cultivating joy & experimenting with hobbies [00:56:20] “Recovery is about recovering your whole self” Connect With Arlina 🌐 www.soberlifeschool.com 📸 Instagram: @arlinaallen | @odaatpodcast SIS Links 💌 Sisters In Sobriety Substack – where the magic (and the mocktail recipes) happen 📬 Sisters In Sobriety Email 📸 Sisters In Sobriety Instagram 🌐 Kathleen’s Website Kathleen does not endorse any products mentioned in this podcast 📸 Kathleen’s Instagram

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• The Science of Self-Deception With Bizzie Gold

  This episode dives into the hidden patterns that drive our behavior—the subconscious loops that keep us repeating choices we don’t even realize we’re making. Helping unpack it all is Bizzie Gold, tech founder, behavior futurist, and inventor of Brain Pattern Mapping, a groundbreaking system that predicts behavior and thought patterns with 98.3% accuracy. Through Break Method and her bestselling book Your Brain Is a Filthy Liar, Bizzie is redefining healing beyond coping—guiding people toward real personal agency.  The discussion explores powerful questions: How do early experiences shape how we see the world? Why do we repeat cycles even when we know they’re hurting us? Is self-awareness enough—or is something deeper running the show? Bizzie breaks down perception, decision-making, emotional responses, trauma, addiction cycles, anxiety, and childhood conditioning. Sonia invites listeners to consider how distorted narratives, triggers, and brain patterns influence choices, relationships, substance use, and behavior—and how those patterns can actually be interrupted. You'll learn about subconscious programming, self-deception, childhood patterning, addictive cycles, and how the neurocognitive funnel predicts emotional and behavioral responses. Bizzie shares actionable insights on language architecture, pattern recognition, emotional regulation, brain mapping, and how neuroscience and data can create sustainable rewiring—not temporary fixes or codependent therapy patterns. It’s an eye-opening look at how behavior truly works—and how to start shifting out of survival mode. Later in the episode, Bizzie opens up about her own story—growing up as the young mediator in a chaotic home, living with panic attacks for a decade, and the spiritual moment at age 19 that changed her trajectory completely. Her journey moves from anxiety to agency, from curiosity to innovation—and from a napkin sketch to a powerful global behavior technology.  This is Sisters in Sobriety, the support community that helps women change their relationship with alcohol. Check out our Substack for extra tips, tricks and resources. ⏱️ Time-Stamped Highlights [00:01:00] Introducing Break Method and how it began [00:02:20] Childhood environment and hyper-awareness [00:03:15] Anxiety and insomnia shaping her worldview [00:05:00] Fight Club and the spark behind self-deception research [00:07:45] The moment panic attacks ended at age 19 [00:10:00] Controlled surrender vs. relying on willpower [00:12:30] Mapping faith and neuroscience together [00:14:00] The napkin moment: the birth of Break Method [00:17:20] Teaching thousands and tracking results [00:20:00] Efficacy rates and peer-reviewed research [00:21:45] Evolving Break into behavioral tech [00:22:10] What is a subconscious pattern? [00:23:00] Childhood cues and perception of safety [00:25:00] How reality becomes distorted [00:28:00] Addiction as downstream behavior [00:31:00] Seeing why someone uses—not just that they use [00:33:30] The prison experiment—transformation in two days [00:38:00] Uncovering abuse through behavior mapping [00:45:00] Language architecture and emotional loops [00:50:00] Why the brain prefers familiar pain [00:51:30] Where someone stuck in addiction should begin [00:54:00] Scaling the modality—training providers [00:55:00] The mission to bring this into schools   SIS Links 💌 Sisters In Sobriety Substack – where the magic (and the mocktail recipes) happen 📬 Sisters In Sobriety Email 📸 Sisters In Sobriety Instagram 🌐 Kathleen’s Website Kathleen does not endorse any products mentioned in this podcast 📸 Kathleen’s Instagram

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• How to Break the Anxiety Cycle With Emma McAdam

  Anxiety, emotional regulation, intrusive thoughts, sobriety, and nervous system regulation—this Sisters in Sobriety episode gives you tools to cope and heal. This week, Sonia and Kathleen guide listeners through a grounded, compassionate conversation designed to help them understand anxiety, regulate intense emotions, and shift long-standing mental loops. Their guest is Emma McAdam, licensed marriage and family therapist and creator of the hugely popular YouTube channel Therapy in a Nutshell. Together, they unpack how anxiety works—and offer practical steps toward emotional resilience. Throughout the episode, they explore what fuels the anxiety cycle, why avoidance strengthens fear, and what it means to approach discomfort instead of escape it. You'll hear discussions on alcohol as a coping mechanism, early sobriety triggers, hypervigilance, intrusive thoughts, parenting anxious kids, and learning to make choices based on values instead of fear. These conversations tease out big themes around behavior change, emotional processing, and building self-trust. You'll walk away with a deep understanding of the anxiety cycle, avoidance behaviors, somatic grounding, diffusion techniques, exposure hierarchies, polyvagal-based calming strategies, intrusive thought interruptions, and morning light therapy. Emma explains why the brain is built for survival—not happiness—and how simple, consistent regulation practices retrain the nervous system.  The episode also has personal storytelling—from Emma’s wilderness therapy beginnings and viral video journey to parenting anxious children and learning to separate identity from emotion. Sonia shares what it felt like to confront raw feelings after quitting alcohol, while Kathleen reflects on helping her daughter build emotional resilience. Together, they show how healing happens in real life: messy, imperfect, and full of slow, meaningful growth. This is Sisters in Sobriety, the support community that helps women change their relationship with alcohol. Check out our Substack for extra tips, tricks, and resources. SIS Links 💌 Sisters In Sobriety Substack – where the magic (and the mocktail recipes) happen 📬 Sisters In Sobriety Email 📸 Sisters In Sobriety Instagram 🌐 Kathleen’s Website Kathleen does not endorse any products mentioned in this podcast 📸 Kathleen’s Instagram

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• How to Find Your Spark Again in Midlife with Shannon Watts

  Sobriety, midlife purpose, and finding your spark again. Sonia sits down with activist and author Shannon Watts. Shannon is the founder of Moms Demand Action, the nation’s largest grassroots group fighting gun violence. She led the organization to pass over 500 gun-safety laws and mobilize millions of supporters. She’s been named one of TIME’s 100 Most Influential People, a Forbes 50 Over 50 Changemaker, and a Glamour Woman of the Year. In 2025 she published her book Fired Up: How to Turn Your Spark into a Flame and Come Alive at Any Age. Together, they talk about what it really looks like to rebuild your life when the old one stops fitting. Shannon shares the story of her own “wake-up moment,” and Sonia brings her lived experience of starting over, making hard pivots, and learning to own her sobriety without apology. This episode is all about finding your spark again, even if you haven’t felt it in years. Sonia and Shannon dive into the big questions so many women wrestle with in midlife: How do you know when you’re meant for something more? What if you’ve spent decades doing what you were supposed to do instead of what you actually want? How do you handle people’s opinions when you finally step into your power? And what happens when drinking, dating, parenting, obligations, burnout, and old roles start to clash with the woman you’re becoming? Listeners will walk away with practical guidance and clarity around what lights them up. Shannon shares her simple framework for figuring out your next chapter, how to deal with criticism without shrinking, and why rest, boundaries, community, and honesty matter more than perfection. This episode also looks at signs you might be ready for a change, the myths about “purpose,” the pressure women carry in midlife, and the surprising freedom that comes with not caring what everyone else thinks. Sonia opens up about dating in sobriety, making herself small for years, and the moment she realized she didn’t need to apologize for the life she’s building. Shannon shares the realities of starting a national movement while raising five kids, navigating co-parenting, dealing with internet trolls, and knowing when it was finally time to step back. It’s heartfelt, real, and filled with the kind of “me too” moments that make women feel less alone. Episode Highlights  01:00 Shannon shares the moment she realized her life wasn’t aligned anymore 03:12 The emergency room visit that became her turning point 04:10 How journaling helped her map out a completely different future 06:02 Shannon explains her “values, abilities, desires” formula 07:15 Why so many women put obligations before what they actually want 09:20 The guilt and shame that show up when women start changing their lives 11:05 Sonia talks about the date that made her second-guess her sobriety identity 12:14 Shannon’s advice for handling criticism without shrinking 16:08 What launching Moms Demand Action looked like behind the scenes 18:02 The fear moms have about pursuing desires “at the expense of their kids” 20:40 How to know it’s time for a pivot even without a dramatic crisis 23:05 Discovering abilities you don’t realize you have 25:00 Sonia shares how nightly drinking revealed deeper misalignment 26:15 Shannon on her “controlled burn” approach to clearing space for change 28:20 The difference between true urgency and pressure we put on ourselves 30:12 Why Gen X women have more freedom in midlife than we realize 33:00 Shannon redefines success after years of burnout and martyrdom 35:18 How female friendships became the backbone of her second chapter 37:05 Sonia talks about intentionally rebuilding her community 40:22 The hardest “no” Shannon ever had to make in her career 46:04 The early “failure” that ended up shaping her entire movement 47:18 What Shannon hopes her next decade looks like SIS Links 💌 Sisters In Sobriety Substack – where the magic (and the mocktail recipes) happen 📬 Sisters In Sobriety Email 📸 Sisters In Sobriety Instagram 🌐 Kathleen’s Website Kathleen does not endorse any products mentioned in this podcast 📸 Kathleen’s Instagram

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• Hard Truths About Infidelity Part 2

  Infidelity, emotional sobriety, and recovery collide in this raw and honest continuation of the Sisters in Sobriety infidelity chat. In today’s episode, Sonia and Kathleen explore what happens when betrayal shows up in a relationship — and how to navigate it without abandoning yourself or your sobriety. They dig into the emotional rollercoaster, the shame that can surface on both sides, and the surprising ways infidelity can mimic relapse patterns even without alcohol involved. We'll unpack: what does emotional sobriety look like when your heart just got shattered? Can cheating happen as a form of emotional escape? How do you stay grounded when your nervous system is on fire and every coping mechanism is calling your name? And why does early recovery sometimes make people more vulnerable to risky behavior and emotional impulsivity? You'll hear strategies for repairing trust, protecting your recovery, and reconnecting with your values — even when life feels like it’s exploded. Sonia also opens up about her own experience with infidelity in her marriage, the fight to stay sober through heartbreak, and the fierce determination to not let someone else's choices take away the life she worked so hard to build. Together, she and Kathleen explore what healing can look like — and what they wish they knew back then about boundaries, self-trust, and choosing yourself in the aftermath. This is Sisters in Sobriety, the support community that helps women change their relationship with alcohol. Check out our Substack for extra tips, tricks and resources. Episode Highlights 00:00 – The story starts with cruise-chaos and questionable onboard sushi 01:55 – A pivot from food poisoning to infidelity and emotional sobriety 02:58 – Emotional sobriety explained — steadiness when life gets messy 04:03 – Cheating as misalignment with values, not a “good vs bad person” label 05:26 – Emotional relapse vs physical relapse, and where infidelity fits in 06:41 – Dishonesty, avoidance, and numbing behaviors as warning signs 07:34 – What staying sober through betrayal actually feels like 08:17 – Accountability as the foundation for emotional recovery 09:08 – How betrayal can trigger old coping urges and emotional spiraling 10:03 – The difference between staying sober and staying emotionally regulated 11:12 – “You won’t take my sobriety too” — sobriety as rebellion and self-protection 12:17 – The dopamine hit of infidelity and temptation in early recovery 13:12 – Pause, play the tape forward, ruin the fantasy (and save yourself) 14:19 – Stumbling doesn't end your recovery — denial does 15:37 – Hyper-vigilance vs healing — and why control isn’t safety 17:45 – Avoiding conflict vs actually repairing the relationship 19:40 – The messy reality of sexual communication after betrayal 20:53 – Sonia reflects on self-blame and impossible expectations 23:40 – Letting go of “if I do everything right, they won’t cheat” 26:22 – A grounding tool for the day after everything falls apart 28:10 – Closing gratitude + a reminder that healing is possible SIS Links 💌 Sisters In Sobriety Substack – where the magic (and the mocktail recipes) happen 📬 Sisters In Sobriety Email 📸 Sisters In Sobriety Instagram 🌐 Kathleen’s Website Kathleen does not endorse any products mentioned in this podcast 📸 Kathleen’s Instagram

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