We Hate Movies

“He makes Steven Seagal look like Robert De Niro“ - Eric
On this week’s show, we’re chatting about the totally insane Chuck Norris-partnered-with-a-dog movie, Top Dog! 
How is this dog still alive with all the doughnuts this old man is feeding him? Has there ever been a less-convincing hangover performance than what we see at the start of this movie? Wait, this dog was shot five times in the line of duty? How hilarious is that guy’s freakout during the scene at the Mexican border? And how in the world is there this much white supremacy chatter in an otherwise silly dog movie? PLUS: The gang hunts for the closest Blimpie’s! 
Top Dog stars Chuck Norris, Michele Lamar Richards, Erik von Detten, Carmine Caridi, Clyde Kusatsu, Kai Wulff, Peter Savard Moore, Timothy Bottoms, Francesco Quinn, Herta Ware, Eileen Bowman, and Betty the Dog as Reno; directed by Aaron Norris.
This episode is sponsored by Rocket Money! Let Rocket Money help you reach your financial goals faster. Join at RocketMoney dot com slash WHM! That’s RocketMoney dot com slash WHM. 
Come hang out in Vegas with us this summer as we do a three-night stand at ST:LV to celebrate 60 years of Star Trek and 10 years of The Nexus! We’ll be at the convention Thursday, Friday and Saturday night doing three Nexus shows on Wrath of Kahn, Generations, and First Contact! Best part is, you don’t need to have a convention pass to attend, each show is ticketed separately. Click through to snag your tix now!
Be sure to visit the WHM Merch shop over on Dashery and check out all the latest show-related designs you can slap on t-shirts, hats, coffee mugs, stickers, whatever! Make your friends jealous by flaunting some WHM merch today!
 Original cover art by Felipe Sobreiro.

“[Ryan] Gosling ate this dude’s lunch” - Andrew, on Justin Chatwin 
On this week’s episode, the Summer Blockbuster Extravaganza keeps the Spielberg chatter going from last week with a hilarious talk about his 2005 sci-fi adaptation, War of the Worlds! 
Couldn’t we have had some puppet aliens instead of those CGI guys? How fantastic is Tim Robbins playing this basement-dwelling lunatic? Should the boy have stayed exploded? How many of us would rather just turn to dust in this situation? And would this movie have been better with Eric as an extra? PLUS: Everyone say hi to Ray Ferrier’s new Bayonne, New Jersey girlfriend, Cigaretta! 
World of the Worlds stars Tom Cruise, Dakota Fanning, Justin Chatwin, Miranda Otto, Rick Gonzalez, Yul Vazquez, Lenny Venito, Lisa Ann Walter, and Tim Robbins as Harlan Ogilvy; directed by Steven Spielberg.
This episode is brought to you by ZVOX and their line of dialogue-boosting speakers and sound bars! Our listeners save 20% on any new soundbar when using our code: WHM!
Come hang out in Vegas with us this summer as we do a three-night stand at ST:LV to celebrate 60 years of Star Trek and 10 years of The Nexus! We’ll be at the convention Thursday, Friday and Saturday night doing three Nexus shows on Wrath of Kahn, Generations, and First Contact! Best part is, you don’t need to have a convention pass to attend, each show is ticketed separately. Click through to snag your tix now!
Be sure to visit the WHM Merch shop over on Dashery and check out all the latest show-related designs you can slap on t-shirts, hats, coffee mugs, stickers, whatever! Make your friends jealous by flaunting some WHM merch today!
 Original cover art by Felipe Sobreiro.

This is an extended preview clip of our massive WLM episode on Minority Report! To access the full show, click through here and sign up for our Patreon. Instantly unlock this episode, along with countless hours of exclusive commercial-free content you can't get anywhere else!
“I love the setup, I love the whole idea of the wrong man here...” - Eric

On this month’s We ❤️ Movies episode, we’re getting in the Spielberg mood in anticipation of Disclosure Day by chatting about one of his big sci-fi thrillers of the early-aughts, Minority Report!
Was it the right move for this movie to forgo a non-stop action vibe? What did the production designers get right about our near future? Was this the last great Max von Sydow performance? Is this one of the more not-great haircuts Tom Cruise has had in a movie? Didn’t we need a few more scenes with Colin Farrell? Should that creepy guy be working in the pre-cog pool alone? And how much wood is being wasted by this machine crafting all these ornate wooden balls? PLUS: Ralph Kramden gets locked in the pre-crime jail!
Minority Report stars Tom Cruise, Colin Farrell, Samantha Morton, Steve Harris, Neal McDonough, Lois Smith, Tim Blake Nelson, Arye Gross, Mike Binder, Jessica Harper, Peter Stormare, William Mapother, and Max von Sydow as Lamar Burgess; directed by Steven Spielberg.
Come hang out in Vegas with us this summer as we do a three-night stand at ST:LV to celebrate 60 years of Star Trek and 10 years of The Nexus! We’ll be at the convention Thursday, Friday and Saturday night doing three Nexus shows on Wrath of Kahn, Generations, and First Contact! Best part is, you don’t need to have a convention pass to attend, each show is ticketed separately. Click through to snag your tix now!
Be sure to visit the WHM Merch shop over on Dashery and check out all the latest show-related designs you can slap on t-shirts, hats, coffee mugs, stickers, whatever! Make your friends jealous by flaunting some WHM merch today!
 Original cover art by Felipe Sobreiro.

On our return to the air, we're reviewing the latest Star Wars product drop, The Mandalorian and Grogu, the final season of The Boys, Kane Parsons' indie horror sensation, Backrooms, and a sleepy Kiefer Sutherland Secret Movie™️!
Come hang out in Vegas with us this summer as we do a three-night stand at ST:LV to celebrate 60 years of Star Trek and 10 years of The Nexus! We’ll be at the convention Thursday, Friday and Saturday night doing three Nexus shows on Wrath of Kahn, Generations, and First Contact! Best part is, you don’t need to have a convention pass to attend, each show is ticketed separately. Click through to snag your tix now!

Be sure to visit the WHM Merch shop over on Dashery and check out all the latest show-related designs you can slap on t-shirts, hats, coffee mugs, stickers, whatever! Make your friends jealous by flaunting some WHM merch today!

All art by Felipe Sobreiro

“I feel like I could smell it through the TV” - Eric on Gwildor
This week on the program, we’re kicking off the 2026 Summer Blockbuster Extravaganza by talking about the toy/cartoon adaptation that was anything but a blockbuster, 1987’s Masters of the Universe!
Could this Billy Barty character have been designed to look any more disgusting? Why did they insist on dragging James Tolkan through almost every scene of the movie? Is the Courteney Cox character actually trying to live out a Bruce Springsteen song? And why in the world is He-Man barely in this He-Man movie? PLUS: As promised, here’s the link to the Pig Boy video on YouTube!
Masters of the Universestars Dolph Lundgren, Meg Foster, Billy Barty, Courteney Cox, Robert Duncan McNeill, Jon Cypher, Chelsea Field, James Tolkan, Christina Pickles, Tony Carroll, Pons Maar, Anthony De Longis, Robert Towers, and Frank Langella as Skeletor; directed by Gary Goddard.
This episode is sponsored by Rocket Money! Let Rocket Money help you reach your financial goals faster. Join at RocketMoney dot com slash WHM! That’s RocketMoney dot com slash WHM. 
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Come hang out in Vegas with us this summer as we do a three-night stand at ST:LV to celebrate 60 years of Star Trek and 10 years of The Nexus! We’ll be at the convention Thursday, Friday and Saturday night doing three Nexus shows on Wrath of Kahn, Generations, and First Contact! Best part is, you don’t need to have a convention pass to attend, each show is ticketed separately. Click through to snag your tix now!
Be sure to visit the WHM Merch shop over on Dashery and check out all the latest show-related designs you can slap on t-shirts, hats, coffee mugs, stickers, whatever! Make your friends jealous by flaunting some WHM merch today!
 Original cover art by Felipe Sobreiro.