We Hate Movies

• S15 Ep812: Fantastic Four (2015)

  “I’d have preferred they made no movie at all…” - Eric  On this week’s episode, the Summer Blockbuster Extravaganza has us chatting about the total misfire of a superhero reboot, Fantastic Four (2015)! Yikes, folks! Why are all members of the Fantastic Four under legal drinking age in this movie? Why did we need to see Reed and Ben as little kids at the beginning like it’s some bad studio comedy from the 1990s? Why did so many people think this gritty, harsh take on a traditionally goofy property was a smart move? Why are the Storms snooping around high school science fairs looking for children to snatch up? And couldn’t they have pumped just a little more money into this Doctor Doom costume? PLUS: Look out for the most dangerous member of the Marvel Universe — The Pebble!  Fantastic Four (2015) stars Miles Teller, Kate Mara, Michael B. Jordan, Jamie Bell, Toby Kebbell, Tim Blake Nelson, Dan Castellaneta, Chet Hanks, Tim Heidecker, and the late, great Reg E. Cathey as Dr. Franklin Storm; directed by Josh Trank. [EDITOR’S NOTE: While he’s not in this FF film, we do mention Julian McMahon’s performance as Dr. Doom in the Tim Story Fantastic Four films from 2005 and 2007. We recorded this about a month before Julian passed, so that’s why it’s not referenced here. McMahon was a great actor who, as we say in this episode, understood the assignment when playing Dr. Doom in those aughts films. Rest easy, Julian, a talented and very nice guy from all reports. — Andrew] Throughout 2025, we’ll be donating 100% of our earnings from our merch shop to the Center for Reproductive Rights. So head over and check out all these masterful designs and see what tickles your fancy! Shirts? Phone cases? Canvas prints? We got all that and more! Check it out and kick in for a good cause! Original cover art by Felipe Sobreiro.

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• S15 Ep811: Sin City

  “This is a Spike TV movie, right?” - Eric On this week’s episode, the Summer Blockbuster Extravaganza gets down and dirty for the all-or-nothing days as we chat about Robert Rodriguez’s still totally wild comic translation, Sin City! Thankfully, folks, this movie still looks totally rad! How eerie is Elijah Wood as Kevin? Even with as fun a ride as this is, did we really need to adapt every bit of the Miller sleaze vibes? Will Rodriguez ever get his edge back? How great is Mickey Rourke in this movie? Was having three different musicians do three different scores a good idea? Should the Hartigan story have been cut in two or should the film have been left as the triptych with the Hartnett character as the bookend? PLUS: Kurt Russell and the arctic crew from The Thing all check to see who’s The Thing by doing the asparagus pee test! Sin City stars Bruce Willis, Clive Owen, Mickey Rourke, Josh Hartnett, Rosario Dawson, Benicio Del Toro, Michael Clarke Duncan, Carla Gugino, Rutger Hauer, Jaime King, Tommy Flanagan, Nick Offerman, Marley Shelton, Nick Stahl, Elijah Wood, Devon Aoki, Alexis Bledel, Powers Boothe, and the late, great Michael Madsen as Bob; directed by Robert Rodriguez. [EDITOR’S NOTE: We recorded this episode on June 18, several weeks before we lost Michael Madsen. The guy was a total legend, a singular performer who gave us so many memorable film appearances that we’ve loved and quoted a ton over the years. We’ll miss the guy, gone way, way too soon. — Andrew] Our three-night, six-show residency at the Oxford Comedy Festival starts THIS FRIDAY, July 18th! We’ll be there through the 20th doing WHM, WLM, Animation Damnation, Gleep Glossary and Nexus shows! The Quantum of Solace and Hellraiser shows are sold out, so don’t wait, snag your tix now, UK! We’ll see you this weekend! Throughout 2025, we’ll be donating 100% of our earnings from our merch shop to the Center for Reproductive Rights. So head over and check out all these masterful designs and see what tickles your fancy! Shirts? Phone cases? Canvas prints? We got all that and more! Check it out and kick in for a good cause! Original cover art by Felipe Sobreiro.

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• S15 Ep810: Beethoven (1992)

  “That image should not be in the movie!” - Chris on the drool shot On this week’s episode, the Summer Blockbuster Extravaganza goes to Family Film Country as we chat about the 90’s dog classic, Beethoven! How much of a knock-off Wet Bandits are Stanley Tucci and Olive Platt in this? Does Grodin’s character think he’s gonna take over the world with this air freshener company? Why is a plot point in this children’s film a dog needing to be shot in the head? And did Beethoven inadvertently save this family from total annihilation? PLUS: Steve recalls a tale of elevator-related horror! Beethoven stars Charles Grodin, Bonnie Hunt, Dean Jones, Nicholle Tom, Christopher Castile, Sarah Rose Karr, Olive Platt, Stanely Tucci, David Duchovny, Patricia Heaton, Laurel Cronin, O-Lan Jones, and Chris the Dog as Beethoven; directed by Brian Levant. This episode is brought to you in part by Rocket Money. Cancel your unwanted subscriptions and reach your financial goals faster with Rocket Money. Go to RocketMoney dot com slash whm today. That’s RocketMoney dot com slash whm. RocketMoney dot com slash whm. Tickets are going fast for our three-night residency during the Oxford Comedy Festival! We’ll be doing six shows over three nights from July 18 through 20. Tickets are going fast—our shows on Quantum of Solace and Hellraiser are already SOLD OUT—so don’t wait, snag your tix today! Throughout 2025, we’ll be donating 100% of our earnings from our merch shop to the Center for Reproductive Rights. So head over and check out all these masterful designs and see what tickles your fancy! Shirts? Phone cases? Canvas prints? We got all that and more! Check it out and kick in for a good cause! Original cover art by Felipe Sobreiro.

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• S15 Ep809: Jaws (W❤️M) [EXTENDED TEASER]

  “Bottle of red, bottle of white, whatever gets me laid tonight!” - Eric as Matt Hooper On this month’s We ❤️ Movies episode, we’re celebrating the 50th anniversary of the modern Hollywood Blockbuster with a chat all about the perfect film, Jaws! Is there a more memorable film score in existence? How amazing is this cast, like, top to bottom? Is there a more haunting monologue than Robert Shaw’s U.S.S. Indianapolis speech? Is that old Leg Guy in the pond a pervert? And why in the world did they cut out all the cucking? PLUS: This summer, don’t miss Bruce Dern and Jack Nicholson in: King Crab! Jaws stars Roy Scheider, Richard Dreyfuss, Robert Shaw, Lorraine Gary, Murray Hamilton, Carl Gottlieb, Jeffrey Kramer, Susan Backlinie, Jonathan Filley, Chris Rebello, Jay Mello, Lee Fiero, Jeffrey Voorhees, and Bruce as The Shark; directed by Steven Spielberg.   THIS IS JUST A SMALL BITE FROM OUR WE ❤️ MOVIES EPISODE ON JAWS! TO HOOK THE WHOLE THING, HEAD OVER TO OUR PATREON AND SIGN UP TODAY! INSTANTLY UNLOCK THIS EP, ALONG WITH OVER 70 ADDITIONAL W❤️Ms! Tickets are on sale now for our three-night residency during the Oxford Comedy Festival! We’ll be doing six shows over three nights from July 18 through 20, doing shows like WHM, W❤️M, The Nexus, The Gleep Glossary, and Animation Damnation! Tickets are going fast, and two shows are already sold out, so friends over there, snag your tix! Throughout 2025, we’ll be donating 100% of our earnings from our merch shop to the Center for Reproductive Rights. So head over and check out all these masterful designs and see what tickles your fancy! Shirts? Phone cases? Canvas prints? We got all that and more! Check it out and kick in for a good cause! Original cover art by Felipe Sobreiro.

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• S15: On-Screen Live Summer Finale: 28 Years Later Review, MASSIVE Rest of Summer Preview, Secret Movie™️ & More!

  On the summer finale of On-Screen Live, we're chatting about Danny Boyle's recently released horror masterpiece, 28 Years Later, going over the weekend box office, previewing a bunch of movies that will release while we're on break, including Jurassic World Rebirth, Superman, Weapons, The Naked Gun, The Fantastic Four: First Steps, and Eddington, reviewing a couple films on a double dose of Secret Movie™️ and more! Be sure to catch the replay of our Superman II digital show (and After Party Q&A) available for replay now through July 4!  Tickets are going fast for our three-night residency during the Oxford Comedy Festival! We’ll be doing six shows over three nights from July 18 through 20. Tickets are going fast—our shows on Quantum of Solace and Hellraiser are already SOLD OUT—so don’t wait, snag your tix today! On-Screen Live airs Mondays at noon/eastern on our YouTube channel! Through December 2025, we’ll be donating all proceeds from our Tee-Public store to the Center for Reproductive Rights. Check out the WHM Merch Store featuring new GHOSTHEADS, Too Old for This Shit, Forrest the Universal Soldier, and Jack Kirby designs! Pick something up and support a good cause! Original cover art by Felipe Sobreiro.

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