After Bedtime with Big Little Feelings

Our last Q&A became our MOST-LISTENED-TO episode, so Besties: WE’RE BACK. You sent us your hardest parenting questions, and once again, we’re answering them all. Your kid was doing GREAT, and then school started and suddenly they’re melting down, fighting everything, and acting like a completely different person. Your three-year-old has turned absolutely feral since the new baby arrived. And what do you do when you KNOW you need therapy, but adding one more thing to your schedule feels literally impossible?

We cover:
Back-to-school meltdowns and why your kid suddenly seems like a completely different person
What’s actually happening when kids hold it together all day at school and completely fall apart at home
How to make the back-to-school transition easier (and why now might be the time to LOWER demands)
Why three-year-olds can feel absolutely feral, and the small shifts that can prevent some of the biggest daily power struggles
New sibling jealousy, meltdowns, and helping your older child adjust to a new baby
What to do when YOU are completely at capacity
How to make time for therapy when you literally do not have one more hour to give
The mindset shift that can completely change how you think about taking care of your own mental health

Plus:
Kristin is in an anxiety spiral, Deena is officially having a midlife crisis, we reveal what we’re watching right now (or why Kristin is watching absolutely fucking nothing), and somehow we land on spa baths as a legitimate mental health intervention. Basically: feral toddlers, back-to-school chaos, nervous systems, therapy, and the real-life strategies that will help your whole family get through this season with a little more ease.

This episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct, or indirect financial interest in products, or services referred to in this episode.

Aquaphor Baby - Find the new Aquaphor Baby Sensitive Lotion now at Walmart, Amazon andTarget. Visit aquaphorus.com to learn more

Egglife - Find Egg Life wraps chilling in the fridge at Aldi, Whole Foods, Kroger, Target, Walmart, and more. Visit egglifefoods.com to find a retailer near you.

Jones Road Beauty - Use code BIGLITTLEFEELINGS at jonesroadbeauty.com to get a FREE FULL-SIZE MASCARA with your first purchase! #jonesroadbeauty #ad

Naturepedic - Visit www.naturepedic.com and use code FEELINGS to get 20% off safer, healthier sleep products for the whole family.

Osea - Get 10% off your order sitewide with code BLF at oseamalibu.com.

Ross - Find your nearest Ross at rossstores.com

Produced by Dear Media
See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

If your kid has ever looked you directly in the eyes and lied, even when you KNOW they know that you know the truth…you probably know the immediate panic spiral:

Why are they lying to me? Is this normal? Can I trust them? If they're doing this at five, what happens when they're FIFTEEN?!

And suddenly, this isn't about who ate the cookie or knocked over the toy, you're imagining your teenager lying about where they are, who they're with, what happened at the party, or something much, much bigger.

But here's what most of us get wrong: If we want to raise kids who tell us the truth when it really matters, we have to be careful that our reaction to lying doesn't accidentally teach them that telling us the truth is dangerous.

In this episode, Deena puts on her child therapist hat and breaks down what's actually happening when kids lie and why lying doesn't automatically mean you're raising a dishonest kid. In fact, there are several completely different reasons kids lie, and each one needs a different response.

You'll leave this episode knowing why your kid is lying, what their lie is actually trying to accomplish, and exactly how to respond in the moment plus:
- What to say when you know they're lying
- When to use consequences
- Why you don't need to force a confession
- How to hold your boundary without making your kid afraid to tell you the truth next time.

Most importantly, you'll learn exactly what to say and do when your kid lies to your face, without being permissive, letting them "get away with it," shaming them, or turning the whole thing into a 45-minute interrogation.

Someday, the mistake won't be a stolen cookie, an iPad after bedtime, or marker on the table. It'll be something bigger. And in that moment, we want the thought that's louder than I'm going to be in so much trouble to be:

I need to tell my mom.

This episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct, or indirect financial interest in products, or services referred to in this episode.

Aquaphor Baby - Find the new Aquaphor Baby Sensitive Lotion now at Walmart, Amazon andTarget. Visit aquaphorus.com to learn more

Egglife - Find Egg Life wraps chilling in the fridge at Aldi, Whole Foods, Kroger, Target, Walmart, and more. Visit egglifefoods.com to find a retailer near you.

ResortPass - Visit resortpass.com/BLF to get $20 off your first booking of $100 or more.

Ross - Find your nearest Ross at rossstores.com

Superpower -  Head over to superpower.com and use code BLF for $20 off your $199 SuperPower membership.

Produced by Dear Media
See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

If you've ever worried that loving your kid too much, supporting them too much, or NOT giving them enough "tough love" is going to leave them completely unprepared for the real world, you need to hear this episode.

Because Billy Eichner’s story might be the best evidence I've ever seen that the opposite of "tough love" is what actually makes a kid strong.

Billy's parents loved the absolute hell out of him. They celebrated exactly who he was, and when he grew up and faced more than a decade of rejection, that endless love from his parents didn't make him soft, it gave him the audacity to keep believing in himself. He went from not being able to get an agent to creating Billy on the Street, earning four Emmy nominations, and making history with the film Bros.

And THAT is where this conversation completely changed something for me. What if the way we prepare our kids for a hard world isn't by toughening them up, but by loving them so deeply that the world can't convince them to abandon themselves?

We talk about rejection, resilience, success, why even wildly successful people still fixate on the people who don't like them, and what Billy believes his parents gave him that made everything else possible. And then Billy says something every parent needs to hear: there is enough tough love waiting for our kids in the world. We don't have to be the ones who give it to them.

Whether you already love Billy Eichner or have no idea who he is, you will walk away from this episode knowing exactly how to raise an emotionally healthy, resilient, “strong” kid, and what they need most from us.

This episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct, or indirect financial interest in products, or services referred to in this episode.

Aquaphor Baby - Find the new Aquaphor Baby Sensitive Lotion now at Walmart, Amazon andTarget. Visit aquaphorus.com to learn more

Egglife -  Find Egg Life wraps chilling in the fridge at Aldi, Whole Foods, Kroger, Target, Walmart, and more. Visit egglifefoods.com to find a retailer near you.

Naturepedic - Visit www.naturepedic.com and use code FEELINGS to get 20% off safer, healthier sleep products for the whole family.

Osea - Get 10% off your order sitewide with code BLF at oseamalibu.com.

ResortPass - Visit resortpass.com/BLF to get $20 off your first booking of $100 or more.

Ross - Find your nearest Ross at rossstores.com

Yoto -  Head to yotoplay.com and use my code BIGLITTLEFEELINGS to save 10% off all eligible items.

Produced by Dear Media
See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

File this under: things we genuinely did not realize we needed to know as parents. 🙃

Our kids spend SO MUCH of their lives sleeping, but… have you ever actually thought about what their mattress is made of? Yeah. Neither had we.

Today we’re joined by Arin Schultz, Chief Growth Officer at Naturepedic and dad of four, to pull back the curtain on mattresses: what can actually be inside them, why certain materials are worth knowing about, what all those certifications and “organic” labels actually mean, and what parents should look for when they’re shopping.


Most importantly: this is information, not another parenting assignment. Deena gets very real about how easily learning this stuff can tip from “good to know” into “OH GOD NOW I’M WORRIED ABOUT EVERYTHING,” and why none of us need to live our lives trying to eliminate every potentially questionable thing our kids will ever encounter.

And because this is After Bedtime, we obviously do not stay on mattresses. 😂 We somehow end up debating whether sharing a drink with your own child is absolutely disgusting, hearing what it’s REALLY like to raise four boys, and, perhaps most importantly, adding Arin to the growing list of podcast guests Deena has recruited to help make her case for baby #4.

You’ll leave knowing a little more about something your kids spend a huge chunk of their lives on, what’s actually worth looking for, and a few realistic options for making a change if and when it makes sense for your family. No throwing your entire house away required.

This episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct, or indirect financial interest in products, or services referred to in this episode.

Naturepedic - Visit www.naturepedic.com and use code FEELINGS to get 20% off safer, healthier sleep products for the whole family.

Produced by Dear Media
See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

What if the most important thing you ever teach your child isn't a parenting strategy... it's a belief they'll carry for the rest of their life?

Someday our children are going to get their heart broken, they'll fail, They'll wonder if they're enough, they'll navigate in tricky relationships, they'll be choosing career paths. And in those moments, they won't remember your lecture about cleaning their room, but they will remember what they believe about themselves.

In this episode, fan favorite VP Hype Squad (my husband) is back, and we share the five beliefs we're intentionally trying to pass on to our kids, the things that will shape every friendship, relationship, career, and decision our kids make for the rest of their lives.

You'll leave this episode knowing:
The belief that protects kids from becoming lifelong people-pleasers.
How to raise a child who doesn't spend their life trying to earn love or approval.
The one mindset shift that completely changes what you focus on as a parent.
Five core beliefs that will outlast every parenting hack, consequence, and script.

This ended up becoming one of my favorite conversations we've ever had. It's about parenting, yes. But it's also about us. The beliefs we inherited, the ones we're still trying to unlearn, and the ones worth passing on instead. I have a feeling this is going to be one you'll think about long after it ends.

This episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct, or indirect financial interest in products, or services referred to in this episode.

Aquaphor Baby - Find the new Aquaphor Baby Sensitive Lotion now at Walmart, Amazon andTarget. Visit aquaphorus.com to learn more.

Egglife -  Find Egg Life wraps chilling in the fridge at Aldi, Whole Foods, Kroger, Target, Walmart, and more. Visit egglifefoods.com to find a retailer near you.

Hiya Health - Receive 50% off your first order of Hiya’s best selling children’s vitamin. Head to hiyahealth.com/BLF.

Quince - Refresh your wardrobe with Quince. Go to quince.com/BLF for free shipping on your order and 365-day returns.

ResortPass - Visit resortpass.com/BLF to get $20 off your first booking of $100 or more.

Zocdoc - Head to zocdoc.com/BLF to get started and check that appointment off your to-do list!

Produced by Dear Media
See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.