Bad Movies Rule!

Friday the 13th Part 3 finally gets the BMR treatment, and the Human Movie Database is back in the room to help survive it. Ryan Farrell returns after four months away, the same crew from Part 2 is assembled, and Jason is now a ripped pro wrestler in a hockey mask that only exists because a lighting test went sideways.

Steve Miner (or Stefan, depending who you ask) shoots the whole thing in 3D, so laundry poles, yo-yos, and the slowest harpoon in horror history are aimed straight at your face. The disco credits never charted, except in gay nightclubs. The movie knocked E.T. out of the number-one spot. Harold is eating donuts off the shelf and getting murdered on the toilet. A biker named Loco attacks a rope. Somebody has hammock sex. Somebody else dies mid-handstand. And Chris delivers a backstory monologue so stiff it got studied in academia.

We cover the accidental birth of the mask, the barn Jason was just trying to nap in, why Part 2 suddenly looks like Cannes, and whether anyone in this cast can say a line like a human being. Awards get handed out. The final verdict does not get spoiled here.

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The BMR pregame is back, and this week the boys are getting ready for Friday the 13th Part 3 in 3D. James, Clint, and Ryan settle the “we already did Jason Goes to Space, so why are we going backwards?” argument, recap how badly the Final Destination predictions went, and then watch the trailer like professionals who definitely know how IMDb works.

Predictions are locked: one survivor or a last-second fake-out, body counts from 8 to 12, yo-yo guy is doomed, a woods cop is probably not making it, and the 3D gags might be the thing that splits the room. They also check the scores, argue about whether this one even belongs on the show, and map out the rest of the Friday the 13th pile before Halloween.

Streaming on Paramount+. Full roast drops Friday. Postgame is on Patreon the next day.

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The post office called at 11 a.m. and told us to come get our stuff before they start charging rent. We skipped a week. The box retaliated.

This mailbag is Ryan, Clint, and a table full of things we did not earn. Art sent a Chuck Norris Karate Kommandos figure and a pile of Pop Rocks, then stood back. Cory sent a Goldfinger DB5 with a working ejector seat and a 14-and-up warning we immediately stress-tested. A typewriter letter from our dark lord of stubbed toes claims Mattress Mack produced Sidekicks to settle a debt, then pivots into a Walker, Texas Ranger note, a Junior Rangers pitch, and a request that we still do Trial by Fire. We are doing Trial by Fire.

The movie pile is unhinged. Popstar. Grizzly. The Final Girls. Exorcist II. A Titans triple feature nobody can read the year on. Pluto Nash. Hell House LLC. Jack Frost and Christmas Vacation 2. Tammy and the T-Rex. Neighbors. Theodore Rex. Haunted Honeymoon. The Couch Trip. Donnie Darko, which one of us has successfully avoided out of spite. The first season of Welcome to Derry. The Ladies Man. Student Bodies, which promises 1,423 laughs. Then Murph closes the show with a cassette player, a drawing of Arnold and Carl Weathers, and a stack of soundtracks: Rocky IV, Iron Eagle, Rambo, Batman, Lost Boys, Octopussy, Beverly Hills Cop II, and a blank tape we are absolutely sending back as a mix.

Emails and voicemails cover a Terminal Velocity voting apology, a Sleepaway Camp curve argument, sword-and-sandal picks from Canada, a Mississippi spelling lesson, a Robert Englund convention story, Richard Pryor’s Moving, and Brian Boucher lobbying for movies that still shoot in actual towns. Kokomo, we are coming.

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BMR Hits the Spot playlist is on Spotify if you want the soundtrack version of this problem.
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This episode is sponsored by Quince - 40% off and free shipping here, and it supports the show! - quince.com/badmovies

A kid has a vision, his mom rips the good-luck tag off his luggage, and an entire plane full of students explodes. The movie says it's death. We say it's mom.

Stephanie is back, Brian Draws Movies is back, and Jesse returns to the studio with a confession: his younger self, who loved this movie on VHS, might have been a dumbass. Or he's sandbagging. You'll have to stick around to find out.

On the scene-by-scene, we dig into the FBI agents who wandered in from an X-Files reject pile, the most baffling memorial sculpture ever unveiled, an owl with a front-row seat to Devon Sawa's private time, a small-town mortician who is extremely obviously Candyman, and the forensic breakthrough of the century: caramelized blood. Plus a 47-year-old baby, a girl named Clear Rivers (yes, on purpose), Seann William Scott one year after Stifler, a sentient live wire with a grudge, and a death-fart theory that may have cost one of us a night on the couch.

Then we hand out the hardware, including the Will Patton Award for Intensity and the Steven Seagal Trash Can Full of Dirt, before the final verdict. Is this a horror classic that still holds up, or did we all just have terrible taste in 2000?

Also, Arnold Schwarzenegger punches death in Paris. It goes about how you'd expect.

Support Us: patreon.com/badmoviesrule

Email Us: ThisShowIsTrash@gmail.com

Voicemail: 262-757-8567

Mail: Bad Movies Rule, PO Box 383, Burlington, WI 53105

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Death has a boarding pass and a sense of humor. This Friday we kick off spooky season with the movie that turned everyday objects into murder weapons: Final Destination (2000).

A teen has a vision of a plane exploding, yanks his friends off the flight… and then Death starts collecting. Elaborate “accidents.” Rube Goldberg kill scenes. Ali Larter. Tony Todd’s voice of doom. The question isn’t if someone’s next. It’s how stupid the next chain reaction will look.

On this episode: Stephanie’s official monthly-rotation comeback, Brian, and Jessie Hurst returning for the first time since Episode 9 (The Fifth Element). We watch the trailer, argue body counts, guess who actually walks away, and try not to get judged in the post-game.

Go watch it first if you can — it’s on HBO Max right now (or $4 to rent). You’ll have more fun roasting the deaths with us.

Episode drops Friday.
Pregame is already live.
Post-game breakdown lives on Patreon only.

See you on the other side of the explosion.

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