School of Self-Image

• 436: Are You the Drama?

  The Drama Triangle Explained: How to Reclaim Your Power The Drama Triangle, a concept developed by psychologist Stephen Karpman, illustrates how individuals can become entangled in a cycle of emotional exhaustion and conflict through three distinct roles: the victim, the rescuer, and the villain. Each role plays a significant part in perpetuating drama in our lives, often without our conscious awareness. Host Tonya Leigh explores the concept of the Drama Triangle, a framework that reveals the subconscious patterns we create in our lives. The discussion highlights how many people gravitate towards drama, whether for a sense of identity, adrenaline, or connection, often without realizing it. Tonya emphasizes that while some drama may serve a purpose, much of it keeps us trapped in familiar, chaotic states, preventing us from experiencing peace and ease in our lives.  Tune in as we break down the three roles in the Drama Triangle—victim, villain, and hero—and how to recognize and escape these patterns to achieve a more elegant and fulfilling life. 00:47 - The Allure of Drama: Why We Create It 01:03 - Craving Peace and Elegance 02:09 - Role 1: The Victim 04:16 - The Victim's Self-Image 07:10 - Role 2: The Rescuer 09:50 - Examples of the Rescuer Role 11:07 - The Rescuer's Self-Image 16:00 - Role 3: The Villain 19:30 - Examples of the Villain Role 22:26 - The Villain's Self-Image 23:32 - Stepping Out of the Drama Triangle 24:03 - Becoming the Main Character Quotes: "What we crave is a sense of ease, a sense of peace, a sense of elegance in our lives, which means that we're going to have to give up some of the drama." "You're not the problem, but you are the solution." "If you want to grow your impact, if you want to have more ease in your life, you must be willing to let other people fail." "I'm only valuable when I'm needed." "The control, the criticism, and the blame comes from a fear of losing control, of not being enough, of being exposed." "You're the main character, but more importantly, you're also the writer and the director." Useful  Resources: Click HERE to join the Membership  Click HERE for a FREE download  Click HERE to sign up for our newsletter, The Edit   Connect with Self-Image Coach Tonya Leigh: Click HERE to follow our Instagram Click HERE to visit our website Click HERE to visit our Facebook group Click HERE to follow our TikTok Click HERE to subscribe to our YouTube channel   

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• 435: How to Spring Clean Your Self-Image

  Clearing the Clutter: Transforming Your Self-Image for a New Season Spring is often associated with renewal and fresh beginnings, and this concept can be applied to our self-image as well. Just as we clean out our closets or declutter our homes, we can also take the time to refresh how we see ourselves and how we show up in the world.  Host Tonya Leigh explores the concept of spring cleaning your self-image, much like we do with our homes. As nature begins to awaken from winter, it's the perfect time to reflect on how we perceive ourselves and make necessary changes for personal growth. The host invites listeners to embrace this season of renewal by clearing out old beliefs and habits that no longer serve them and to welcome in new, positive energy that aligns with the woman they're becoming. Join us as we discuss practical steps to refresh your self-image, create an environment that supports your evolution, and ignite your journey toward self-reinvention. Get ready to dive deep and transform your perspective this spring! Talking Points: 00:47 - A Time for Reinvention 02:02 - Identify the Area to Spring Clean 04:00 - Paint the Vision for Your After Story 07:10 - Clear the Clutter of Limiting Beliefs 12:21 - Bring in Fresh Energy and New Beliefs 20:02 - Protect the Space with Boundaries and Systems 27:52 - Elevate and Upgrade Your Environment Quotes: "Within each of us, we always have a new after story that's just waiting to be revealed, waiting to be experienced, waiting to be created, but you have to paint it first." "Identity is built in tiny decisions." "If you continue to do what you're doing for the next 10 years, are you going to like the result?" "My workouts go in my calendar like a meeting with my most important client because honestly, I am." "If you love this podcast, if it brings a spark of joy to your life, if it's helped you to navigate some challenging times." Useful  Resources: Click HERE to join the Membership  Click HERE for a FREE download  Click HERE to sign up for our newsletter, The Edit   Connect with Self-Image Coach Tonya Leigh: Click HERE to follow our Instagram Click HERE to visit our website Click HERE to visit our Facebook group Click HERE to follow our TikTok Click HERE to subscribe to our YouTube channel   

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• Quiet Power: The Secret of Women Who Hold Their Own

  Cultivating Quiet Confidence as a Woman In today's fast-paced world, power is often associated with loudness, dominance, and aggressive behavior. However, Tonya Leigh highlights a different perspective: quiet power, which is rooted in presence, certainty, and self-trust. This form of power is not about making noise or asserting oneself over others; rather, it embodies a calm and confident energy that naturally commands respect. The concept of "quiet power" and what it truly means to be a strong, influential woman without conforming to traditional expectations of dominance. Tonya reflects on her personal journey and how her quietness and feminine energy have often been misinterpreted as weaknesses. She shares insights on the importance of authenticity and self-trust, emphasizing that true power lies in being aligned with one’s true self rather than succumbing to external pressures. Join Tonya as she uncovers how to embrace your presence, influence without force, and become undeniably powerful in your own unique way. Talking Points: 01:42 - Misalignment and Loss of Power 04:25 - True Power and Insecurity 06:33 - Knowing Your Worth 11:04 - Acting Out of Character 14:49 - Rosa Parks' Quiet Defiance 18:24 - Unshakable Boundaries 22:07 - Importance of Emotional Management 26:04 - Dressing and Moving with Intentionality 28:29 - Embodying Quiet Power 30:22 - Taking Action Without Announcing Quotes: "If you are trying to be something that your soul is not in alignment with, if you are trying to be powerful in a way that doesn't feel true to you, there is going to be misalignment." "I am that quiet power. I have no interest in dominating you. I want us all to win together." "Her strength lay in her unshakable presence, her certainty, and her quiet refusal to be moved, literally and figuratively." "There's something magnetic about a woman who's in that energy that's just so in who she is, who's so present, who has nothing to prove and everything to give." "How would you dress, walk, and speak if you fully believed in your power?" "A woman with quiet power doesn't waste time talking about what she's going to do. She just does it." Useful  Resources: Click HERE to join the Membership  Click HERE for a FREE download  Click HERE to sign up for our newsletter, The Edit   Connect with Self-Image Coach Tonya Leigh: Click HERE to follow our Instagram Click HERE to visit our website Click HERE to visit our Facebook group Click HERE to follow our TikTok Click HERE to subscribe to our YouTube channel   

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• 433: Why Most Self-Help Advice is Keeping You Stuck

  How to Stop Feeling Stuck in Self-Help Personal development is often viewed as a daunting task, laden with pressure to achieve specific milestones or conform to societal expectations. However, as discussed in the podcast episode, it should be approached as an invitation—a joyful endeavor that encourages you to discover and express the most vibrant version of yourself. Tonya Leigh explores the paradox of self-help: how even with the right resources and strategies, individuals can still feel stuck. She emphasizes that the way self-help is approached can significantly impact one's progress. Tonya shares insights from her recent quarterly retreat with her team, focusing on the concept of essentialism—doing less but with greater impact. She encourages listeners to examine their current practices, identifying what adds value and what may be holding them back. Join Tonya as she dives deeper into the pitfalls of self-help and offers actionable guidance to help you move forward on your personal development journey. Talking Points: 00:09 - Introduction: Feeling Stuck in Self-Help 01:52 - Why Self-Help Might Be Keeping You Stuck 02:44 - The Pressure to Go Bigger in Personal Development 05:03 - Shifting from Extraordinary to Signature Goals 08:05 - Obsessing Over Every Thought 11:07 - Constant Consumption Mode 15:02 - Taking Action to Reinforce Self-Image 17:10 - Belief That You Need to Be Fixed 20:03 - Personal Growth as an Invitation, Not an Obligation 21:51 - The Importance of Environment in Personal Development 25:32 - You Are Not Broken, You Are Whole Quotes: "If you're trying to expand into things that aren't for you, that really don't align with your values, that don't really light you up, it can feel very, very empty."  "When your growth is aligned with your truth, it stops feeling like pressure and starts feeling like a privilege." "If you're just consuming and not putting what you learn into practice, all you have is a lot of unrealized knowledge." "When you let go of the idea that you're broken, everything will change."  "Shouldn't personal growth be inspiring, not exhausting?" "Your surroundings can either reinforce a self-image that you desire or keep you stuck in an old identity." "News alert, you're not broken." Useful  Resources: Click HERE to join the Membership  Click HERE for a FREE download  Click HERE to sign up for our newsletter, The Edit   Connect with Self-Image Coach Tonya Leigh: Click HERE to follow our Instagram Click HERE to visit our website Click HERE to visit our Facebook group Click HERE to follow our TikTok Click HERE to subscribe to our YouTube channel   

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• 432: My Love Story: The Self-Image Shifts That Led to My Engagement

  Transforming Your Self-Image: The Key to Attracting Effortless Love Your love story begins with self-love and an understanding of your own worth before seeking love from others. This foundational concept is beautifully illustrated in Tonya Leigh's podcast episode, where she shares her personal journey of transformation and the shifts in self-image that led her to a fulfilling relationship. Tonya Leigh shares her personal love story and the pivotal self-image shifts that led to her engagement. She explores the connection between self-worth and the quality of relationships, emphasizing that our experiences in love often reflect how we see ourselves. Tonya invites listeners to consider the lessons learned from past relationships and how they can apply these insights to foster more fulfilling connections. With a light-hearted tone, she encourages self-reflection and growth, reminding us that relationships are powerful mirrors of our inner world. Tune in for an inspiring discussion on attracting the love you deserve! Talking Points: 01:02 - Tonya's Love Story: Self-Image Shifts 03:08 - Part One: The Attraction Stage 05:07 - Embracing Alone Time: Self-Discovery 07:47 - Dating Mindset: Enjoying the Process 10:24 - Online Dating: Authentic Profiles 14:44 - Authenticity: Sharing Fears 17:34 - Part Two: The Partnership Stage 20:04 - Redefining Love: Beyond Hollywood Rom-Coms 23:10 - Enjoying the Journey: No Rush to Marry 25:07 - The Beginning of Love: Self-Love First 26:02 - Embodying Love Quotes: "I just allowed myself to cry and to grieve and to feel all of the feelings because I knew that if I didn't deal with that, I was just going to keep attracting more of the same." "I was open, but not attached. There was no rush, no timeline, no pressure." "I'm not going to abandon me to get someone else's approval." "I wasn't out there searching for love; I was fully immersed in a life that felt joyful and fulfilling." "His love is steady, strong, and unwavering. His love is a beautiful, masculine love. Strong yet soft." "Your love story doesn't begin when someone else enters into your life. It begins the moment you decide to love yourself deeply, unapologetically, and completely." Useful  Resources: Click HERE to join the Membership  Click HERE for a FREE download  Click HERE to sign up for our newsletter, The Edit   Connect with Self-Image Coach Tonya Leigh: Click HERE to follow our Instagram Click HERE to visit our website Click HERE to visit our Facebook group Click HERE to follow our TikTok Click HERE to subscribe to our YouTube channel

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