How Married Are You?

What do you do when the person you married starts sounding like someone you never would’ve chosen?

In Episode 277, a 21-year-old listener writes in about getting married at 19… and feeling like her husband is unrecognizable now 😔.

They bonded over faith, culture, and shared values — even agreeing they’d never become “patriots.”

But after he joined the military and found community in a new environment, she says his beliefs shifted hard.

The jokes, the politics, the worldview, even the way he talks about people… it all feels like a different man 💔.

Now she’s stuck between two real fears: staying and slowly losing herself 🫥, or leaving and grieving a marriage she thought would be godly and lasting 🕊️.

She’s asking if it’s possible to raise kids in a home with split values, how to navigate someone you love when your convictions don’t match, and whether divorce is a wild thought… or a necessary one.

We talk honestly about what it means to navigate deep value differences inside a marriage, how to move carefully when emotions are already high 🧠, and why you can’t pretend something this deep is “just politics.”

💬 Join the Conversation
Have you ever had to navigate major value differences with someone you love?
What helped you communicate without shutting down — or blowing up?

Drop your thoughts in the comments 👇🏽

📚 Resources & Links

Father Yourself First
https://www.amazon.com/Father-Yourself-First-Everything-Deserves/dp/1400252555

Release Rest Remain
https://a.co/d/ihBmSdO

Premarital Advantage
https://howmarriedareyoupodcast.mykajabi.com/offers/VAbsx8N2

Yvette’s Email List
https://yvettehenry.com/join-the-list

Release Rest Remain Bible Reading Plan
https://www.bible.com/en/reading-plans/64646

Black Men’s Meeting
https://partiful.com/e/kuXEBUC7PHfydRmI3sz4?

Big A## Calendar
https://bit.ly/4rkZIE7

HMAY Amazon Storefront
https://www.amazon.com/shop/howmarriedareyou?ref_=cm_sw_r_apin_aipsfshop_0EGMQR9KJ94D8YGCDMV7&language=en-US

❤️ If this helped you, like the video, subscribe, and share it with someone navigating marriage, identity shifts, and hard conversations.

Have you ever had a “what if” person… and you can’t tell if it’s God’s timing or an emotional trap?
In this episode, a listener writes in about a seven-year friendship that keeps circling back into something deeper. They’ve never kissed, she’s been abstinent for five years, and now — for the first time — their timing finally aligns to explore a relationship. But she’s torn: he’s warm, patient, and makes her feel safe… yet she’s afraid she’s been living more in fantasy than reality.
They’re long-distance, both navigating ADHD, and she’s trying to rebuild her faith while also wanting a partner who can lead spiritually — without performing faith just to keep her. So the real question becomes: is love and safety enough to take the risk, or is this a distraction that could derail her growth?
We talk about how to move forward with wisdom, how to check your “sober mind” when you’re already emotionally invested, and why you can’t keep someone in your life as a permanent what-if.
✨ What You’ll Hear
Izzy’s letter to Glen after Sydney’s passing (bring tissues)

Release Rest Remain update + the YouVersion Bible reading plan

Listener email: the long-distance “what if” friendship turning serious

ADHD, consistency, and what love looks like in real life

Faith alignment, spiritual leadership, and moving with a sober mind

Why “love is a risk” — and how to take it wisely

Parenting + marriage questions: balance, devotionals, and real-life routines

💬 Join the Conversation
Have you ever carried a “what if” relationship for years?
What helped you decide to risk it — or finally let it go?
❤️ If This Helped You
Like the video, subscribe, and share it with someone navigating long-distance love, boundaries, and faith alignment.
📚 Resources & Links

Father Yourself First
https://www.amazon.com/Father-Yourself-First-Everything-Deserves/dp/1400252555
Release Rest Remain
https://a.co/d/ihBmSdO
Release Rest Remain Bible Reading Plan
https://www.bible.com/en/reading-plans/64646
Premarital Advantage
https://howmarriedareyoupodcast.mykajabi.com/offers/VAbsx8N2
Saturday Men’s Group (Black men, 7 a.m. PT)
https://us02web.zoom.us/j/81971875325?pwd=cY3k96A8j1b0WMLPHF5ym0bNSNaRdj.1
Patreon Community
https://www.patreon.com/HMAY
Yvette’s Email List
https://yvettehenry.com/join-the-list
The Biggest Story Affiliate links mentioned in this episode
https://bit.ly/3Lx0Ipb
https://bit.ly/4qz1IIZ
https://bit.ly/3NDgUG1
HMAY Amazon Storefront (affiliate)
https://www.amazon.com/shop/howmarriedareyou?ref_=cm_sw_r_apin_aipsfshop_0EGMQR9KJ94D8YGCDMV7&language=en-US

In this episode, we talk honestly about something we’re still learning how to navigate in our own marriage: celebration, hosting, and friendship.

We unpack a real disagreement between us — one where gathering people, creating moments, and hosting feels meaningful and necessary to one of us, while the other experiences those same moments as pressure, disruption, and emotional overload. Neither of us is wrong, but the tension between those needs has shown up more than once over the years.

We share what that conflict actually looked like, how it connected to deeper questions about friendship, emotional capacity, and being known, and what it took for us to repair without one of us shrinking or the other feeling dismissed.
This conversation is about learning each other again, choosing honesty over peacekeeping, and figuring out how to stay connected without losing yourself in the process.

Resources & Links

Release Rest Remain
https://a.co/d/ihBmSdO

Yvette’s Email List
https://yvettehenry.com/join-the-list

Release Rest Remain Bible Reading Plan
https://www.bible.com/en/reading-plans/64646

Father Yourself First
https://www.amazon.com/Father-Yourself-First-Everything-Deserves/dp/1400252555

Audiobook
Listen to Glen read Father Yourself First wherever audiobooks are available.

Premarital Advantage
Questions and worksheets for dating, engaged, and newlyweds
https://howmarriedareyoupodcast.mykajabi.com/offers/VAbsx8N2

Saturday Men’s Group (Black men, 7 a.m. PT)
Join the Father Meet-Up on Zoom
https://us02web.zoom.us/j/81971875325?pwd=cY3k96A8j1b0WMLPHF5ym0bNSNaRdj.1

Patreon Community
Bonus conversations and behind-the-scenes content
https://www.patreon.com/HMAY

Join the Conversation
Do you and your partner experience celebration or hosting differently?
Have you ever realized you were arguing about something deeper than what was on the surface?

If This Helped You
Like the video, subscribe, and share it with someone navigating recurring tension, friendship shifts, or emotional capacity in marriage.

In this episode of How Married Are You, we respond to a listener email from a newly married wife who’s quietly struggling with loneliness. Between long work hours, late nights, exhaustion, and limited time together, she’s worried this season might become their new normal — and she doesn’t want to come across as ungrateful or like a nag for wanting more connection.
We talk honestly about marriage seasons, why hard rhythms don’t automatically mean something is wrong, and how to tell the difference between a temporary grind and a deeper issue. Glen and Yvette share what they would do differently if they could revisit similar seasons in their own marriage, and why how you show up now impacts the seasons ahead.
This conversation covers:
How to survive a lonely season in marriage

Communicating needs without resentment

Why seasons change (even when they feel endless)

Staying connected when schedules don’t align

Building support and community outside your spouse

If you’re married and wondering, “Is this just a season — or is this our forever?” this episode is for you.
Resources & Links
Order the book: Father Yourself First https://www.amazon.com/Father-Yourself-First-Everything-Deserves/dp/1400252555]
Order the book: Release • Rest • Remain https://a.co/d/ihBmSdO](https://a.co/d/ihBmSdO
Audiobook: Listen to Glen read Father Yourself First wherever audiobooks are available.
Premarital Advantage: Questions and worksheets for dating, engaged, and newlyweds https://howmarriedareyoupodcast.mykajabi.com/offers/VAbsx8N2
Saturday Men’s Group (Black men, 7 a.m. PT): Join the Father Meet-Up on Zoom https://us02web.zoom.us/j/81971875325?pwd=cY3k96A8j1b0WMLPHF5ym0bNSNaRdj.1
Patreon Community: Access bonus conversations and behind-the-scenes content [https://www.patreon.com/HMAY](https://www.patreon.com/HMAY)

Happy Holidays, y’all! As the year comes to a close, we’re taking a short break from our regularly scheduled podcast episodes to rest, reset, and be present. As a little holiday gift, we’re sharing a conversation from the Patreon vault that you may have missed. If you enjoy conversations like this, join us on Patreon for weekly bonus conversations after every podcast.
In this Patreon vault episode, Glen and Yvette unpack a viral and troubling clip where Young Thug admits he would feel “less of a man” if his partner went to therapy. From there, the conversation widens into a powerful discussion about ego, control, emotional safety, and why discouraging therapy is a major red flag — not masculinity.
They talk honestly about why no one person can (or should) be everything for their partner, the importance of having trusted people outside your relationship, and how healthy love actually encourages growth rather than isolating it. Glen shares why leaning on close friends and therapy has been essential for him, and Yvette reflects on why that support doesn’t threaten marriage — it strengthens it.
The episode also touches on friendships, safe spaces, healing masculinity, and how parenting (especially raising a daughter) sharpens awareness around emotional health and self-worth.
This conversation is candid, thought-provoking, and grounding — especially for anyone navigating relationships, mental health, or redefining strength and support.
👉 Join us on Patreon for weekly bonus conversations and exclusive content:
www.patreon.com/HMAY