Awaken Out Of Context

I'd just finished my first CrossFit Murph workout and was buzzing. Late Saturday afternoon, sun heading down, decided last minute to chase the sunset to a random beach on Google Maps. What was meant to be a quick ride turned into the most honest hour I've had on tape in a while.

Sat on volcanic rocks watching the sun drop, I got into being almost 40 and what that's supposed to mean. The difference between UK life (happy, sad, happy, sad, on a two-week cycle) and Bali life (happy and content, then less happy and content, but never actually sad). Telling my friends I might not come back, and what they actually said. And the question I keep coming back to: who am I living my life for?

Also: the time I forgot where I parked my scooter and nearly reported it stolen, why I reckon CrossFit dissolves international borders, and a mantra I picked up from a fairly unexpected place that's stayed with me ever since.

Visual version on YouTube with all the scenic riding and sunset footage. This is the spoken cut.

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My scooter is a Honda Vario 125cc from Twin Rental Bike in Bali.
WhatsApp: https://wa.me/6287761650943
Mention my channel and I’m sure he’ll give you a discount.
No affiliation.

Warning! This episode contains adult discussion of porn, masturbation, and related themes (around 20:25 to 24:00).Sometimes the best content comes from not making content. On a morning I was wrestling with what I called an "existential content crisis," my friends Mica, Tommy and Wendy showed up at the door, gave me no chance to say no, and drove me to Ubud for the day. What followed was the kind of unfiltered conversation I've been trying and failing to recreate in front of a camera.

We get into the strange territory of making content about yourself, how I use ChatGPT vs Claude for different kinds of work, why I've quit porn, and what I actually mean when I say "showing my underwear to the world." There's a moment three coffees in where the camera stops mattering and the conversation gets real.

This is the audio teaser. The full visual story, the destination, the waterfall, lives on YouTube. Search "Awaken Out of Context" or follow the link below:
https://youtu.be/8ky3sQEMwUM

If this one lands, let me know. Subscribe and drop a review if you're enjoying the show.

awakenoutofcontext.com
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Random one this week. I'm checking out of my place in Cemagi and I've got half an hour to pack the bag. I'm bad at packing and I'm in my head about recording videos, so I figured I'd combine the two and put the Insta 360 on me in auto-frame mode.
What you get is me going through everything I brought and didn't use (most of it), with a few stories along the way. The pillow that nearly convinced me the air con was poisoning me in the middle of the night. The bar in Canggu where someone clocked me for wearing a HYROX vest. The bags I bought nine years ago that are still going. A bit about tipping in Bali. The bubble tea I bought that went warm in the room before I could drink it.
That's about it. Bit of a vlog. Hopefully entertaining if you've ever opened a bag at the end of a trip and realised half of what you packed was pointless.
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Today I'm walking along a beach in rural Bali, working through something that's been gnawing at me since I moved villas this week: the pull between attachment and novelty.

I'd been getting precious about my old setup, the cafe, the desk angle, the air conditioning, all of it. Almost packed up and headed back to Canggu before I caught myself and went for a walk instead.

What came out of it:

- Why grasping for the familiar can rob you of what's actually in front of you
- The OCD-ish perfectionism I run into when something feels off, and how to break the loop
- Sand as a literal lesson in letting go
- The knot in my stomach when I think about my year around the world nine years ago, and what it might actually be about
- Privilege, gratitude, and the reframe that's been keeping me grounded out here

If you've been clinging to a routine that's stopped serving you, this one might land.

If this one lands, let me know. Subscribe and drop a review if you're enjoying the show. Subscribe to my newsletter at awakenoutofcontext.com

***LINKS***

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