Awaken Out Of Context

Random one this week. I'm checking out of my place in Cemagi and I've got half an hour to pack the bag. I'm bad at packing and I'm in my head about recording videos, so I figured I'd combine the two and put the Insta 360 on me in auto-frame mode.
What you get is me going through everything I brought and didn't use (most of it), with a few stories along the way. The pillow that nearly convinced me the air con was poisoning me in the middle of the night. The bar in Canggu where someone clocked me for wearing a HYROX vest. The bags I bought nine years ago that are still going. A bit about tipping in Bali. The bubble tea I bought that went warm in the room before I could drink it.
That's about it. Bit of a vlog. Hopefully entertaining if you've ever opened a bag at the end of a trip and realised half of what you packed was pointless.
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Today I'm walking along a beach in rural Bali, working through something that's been gnawing at me since I moved villas this week: the pull between attachment and novelty.

I'd been getting precious about my old setup, the cafe, the desk angle, the air conditioning, all of it. Almost packed up and headed back to Canggu before I caught myself and went for a walk instead.

What came out of it:

- Why grasping for the familiar can rob you of what's actually in front of you
- The OCD-ish perfectionism I run into when something feels off, and how to break the loop
- Sand as a literal lesson in letting go
- The knot in my stomach when I think about my year around the world nine years ago, and what it might actually be about
- Privilege, gratitude, and the reframe that's been keeping me grounded out here

If you've been clinging to a routine that's stopped serving you, this one might land.

If this one lands, let me know. Subscribe and drop a review if you're enjoying the show. Subscribe to my newsletter at awakenoutofcontext.com

***LINKS***

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Sat in a café in Canggu this week, a stunning girl walked in and I clocked my own reaction: the instinct to immediately count myself out, put her on a pedestal, and hand over all my power before a word had even been said.

So I'm introducing a concept I'm calling Mascuriosity, taking that masculine sexual energy and modulating it into genuine curiosity about the person in front of you, rather than collapsing into the classic "no chance, mate" response.

In this one I get into:

- The "she's too good for me" conditioning most of us grew up with
- Why suppressing healthy masculine drive isn't the answer, channelling it is
- How curiosity dissolves anxiety (and even physical pain, credit to Ross Edgley)
- Why this has to be drilled, not just understood
- Why beautiful people aren't automatically interesting, and why that matters for your own self-worth
- The Northern working-class "tip it on the ramp" origin story

If this one lands, let me know. Subscribe and drop a review if you're enjoying the show.

Subscribe to my newsletter at awakenoutofcontext.com

If you enjoyed this episode, you may also enjoy these:

https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLMebuClQRf09omZ7V629URAvyHG0KxIH_

A few weeks ago I talked about not deleting people from your past. This week, life handed me a story that proved that point all over again - from an unexpected date in Bali, to a journal entry I almost censored, to a Black Mirror episode that was already playing on my TV before I'd consciously chosen it.

In this episode I get into why we instinctively edit our own memories, what it actually means when you feel the need to sanitise your journal for a future partner who doesn't even exist yet, and why that instinct might say more about your fear of being fully known than any real consideration for someone else.

We also cover: why a gym date is underrated, the Black Mirror episode Eulogy and what it gets exactly right about erasing people, and a practical tool for managing your Google Photos memories without nuking your past entirely.

If your partner's jealous of your history - point them to this episode. Or maybe just point them to the door.

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