Blueprints

• Building Endurance in Kids: Parenting Through Suffering with Elizabeth Orthmann, LMFT.

  Welcome to a special episode of Blueprints! Today we're excited to welcome on the show our first ever guest interview. Elizabeth Orthmann is a licensed marriage and family therapist with expertise in trauma, attachment, and parenting.  She joins Greg and Cody to discuss how to build endurance and resilience into kids. Key Takeaways from the Episode:The Big Idea:Discussing the importance of 'enduring with'—how shared experiences of overcoming obstacles can foster resilience in children.Expert Insights:Elizabeth Orthman shares her professional perspective on how endurance can be cultivated in children through parental support and real-life application.What’s at Stake:The inability to endure hardships may lead to poor coping mechanisms in adulthood, making resilience a crucial skill for children to develop.Practical Steps for Cultivating Endurance:Encourage Problem-Solving:Teach children to face small, manageable challenges to build their problem-solving skills and confidence.Create a Supportive Family Environment:Foster a family culture where endurance is valued and practiced, with parents modeling resilient behaviors.Regular Family Discussions:Hold family meetings to discuss challenges and strategies for overcoming them, reinforcing the concept of endurance through collective family experiences.Favorite Quotes from This Episode:"Endurance isn't just about getting through on your own; it's about moving forward together and finding strength in that unity.""Building endurance helps children not just survive but thrive through life's inevitable challenges."Timestamps for Key Sections:Part 1.  0-20:50. - Definition of endurance "bearing suffering (10:38) - Endurance, doing hard things "with" someone: (17:30)Part 2. 21:03-56:30 - Practical ways to build endurance in kids. - What if a kid doesn't have a trusted adult to build endurance with them. (33:00)- How to know when it's become too much for your kid to handle (38:30)- How to choose what to focus on with your kid in building endurance(43:30)Resources: www.gracebasedfamilies.comhttps://storytellerstherapy.com/ (Elizabeth Orthmann's LMFT practice) 

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• Cultivating Self Discipline in Kids in The Digital Age

  Episode #: 19Intro Timestamp: (00:00) - Cody discusses the importance of setting boundaries and casting a vision for the responsible use of technology, such as smartphones.Listener Question:From: Kelly in Salt Lake City, UtahTimestamp: (05:00)Question: "We gave our daughter her first smartphone for her 16th birthday, and she's overwhelmed by it, neglecting homework and chores. How can we discuss setting boundaries and self-discipline without making her feel punished?"The Goal: To guide children in developing self-discipline, especially in managing their technology use, ensuring they can set healthy boundaries for themselves.Key Takeaways from the Episode:The Big Idea:Self-discipline is essential for managing personal impulses, particularly in relation to technology use.Biblical Insights:References biblical principles that underline the importance of diligence and self-control, such as teachings from Proverbs and Hebrews.What’s at Stake:Without self-discipline, children may struggle to make prudent decisions, especially in an age dominated by digital distractions.Practical Steps for Cultivating Self-Discipline:Vision Casting:Start conversations about technology by highlighting its benefits and the responsibilities it entails, setting a positive framework.Setting Clear Boundaries:Establish clear and reasonable guidelines for technology use, including times and places where device use is inappropriate.Regular Check-ins:Engage in ongoing discussions about technology use, adjusting rules as needed and ensuring children understand the reasons behind them.Favorite Quotes from This Episode:"Technology is not inherently bad; it's a tool that can be used wisely or poorly.""No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it." (Hebrews 12:11)Greg and Cody’s Insights:Greg's Reflection:Shares personal anecdotes about the challenges and rewards of teaching discipline to his own child.Cody’s Experience:Discusses his efforts to teach his children the value of discipline in various aspects of life, from technology to personal hobbies.Timestamps for Key Sections:Introduction to Self-Discipline Discussion: (00:00)Listener Question and Response: (05:00)

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  29:55
• How to Teach Poise to Kids: More Than Just Manners

  Intro Timestamp: (00:00) - Cody discusses how assigning significant tasks to children can inspire them to take actions seriously, highlighting the connection between responsibility and the development of poise.Listener Question:From: Lauren in Katy, TexasTimestamp: (06:00)Question: "How can I teach my children to interact pleasantly with adults and demonstrate poise in various situations? They sometimes act awkwardly, like staring or making strange noises instead of engaging normally."The Goal: To help children develop poise, focusing on others-oriented behaviors rather than self-control, enabling them to handle various social situations gracefully.Key Takeaways from the Episode:The Big Idea:Poise is not merely about self-control; it's about cultivating an others-focused approach, where children learn to consider the feelings and needs of others in their actions.Biblical Insights:Discussions on biblical teachings that support the development of poise, such as living a quiet life (1 Thessalonians) and understanding the appropriateness of actions (Ecclesiastes).What’s at Stake:Developing poise in children helps them navigate social settings effectively, enhancing their ability to show respect and consideration for others, which is essential for their spiritual and social growth.Practical Steps for Cultivating Poise:Model Poise and Consideration:Parents should demonstrate how to behave appropriately in various settings, providing a living example for their children.Teach Situational Awareness:Explain the expectations and norms of different social settings to children beforehand, helping them understand how to act accordingly.Encourage Reflective Learning:Discuss and review past experiences with children to reinforce lessons learned and encourage better choices in the future.Favorite Quotes from This Episode:"Poise helps our kids live an others-focused life.""Poise is a way to show others love because it is based on a deep awareness of what people need in that particular moment."Greg and Cody’s Insights:Greg's Reflection:Shares a personal story of his own childhood and how understanding from a young age shaped his interactions and behavior in public.Cody’s Experience:Talks about how teaching his children to handle various public settings has been a progressive journey of learning and adjustment.Timestamps for Key Sections:Introduction to Poise Discussion: (00:00)Listener Question and Response: (06:00)

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  25:18
• How to Cultivate Real Integrity in Your Kid and Get Beyond Supervision.

  Intro Timestamp: (00:00) - Cody discusses the challenge of supervising children to ensure integrity and highlights the importance of cultivating a genuine moral compass in children.Listener Question:From: Michelle in South CarolinaTimestamp: (03:00)Question: "How can I help my kids develop genuine integrity that goes beyond just following rules when observed? My son found a wallet with money and hesitated before doing the right thing. How can we foster a real moral compass, rooted in faith, not merely rule compliance?"The Goal: Foster genuine integrity in children that sustains even when they're unsupervised, emphasizing a heart transformation rather than mere rule-following.Key Takeaways from the Episode:The Big Idea:Integrity is more about the heart's condition than merely the actions; it requires internal motivation rather than external enforcement.Biblical Inspiration:Discusses how actions should stem from a transformed heart, referencing how biblical figures demonstrated integrity.Cody and Greg explore how God values integrity at a heart level, citing 1 Samuel 16:7 where God emphasizes looking at the heart rather than outward appearance.What’s at Stake:Children's ability to make moral decisions independently of parental supervision hinges on their internal moral compass.Without genuine integrity, children might adopt a facade of compliance while hiding their true actions or feelings.Practical Steps for Cultivating Integrity:Model Integrity:Parents should exhibit consistent behavior both in public and private, showing integrity in all aspects of life.Teach Through Engagement:Engage children in discussions about integrity in daily situations, encouraging them to think about and articulate their values and decisions.Create Learning Opportunities:Use real-life situations, like the scenario with the found wallet, as teachable moments to discuss and reflect on the importance of integrity.Favorite Quotes from This Episode:"Integrity is a heart issue, not an action issue.""God cares about integrity at a heart level."Greg and Cody’s Insights:Greg's Reflection:Shares a personal story about his childhood and how his perspective on honesty and integrity evolved through his faith journey.Cody’s Thoughts:Discusses the challenge of navigating his children’s independence, such as handling phones and driving, stressing the importance of internal integrity over external control.Timestamps for Key Sections:Introduction to Integrity Discussion: (00:00)Listener Question and Response: (03:00)

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  28:09
• How to Embrace Faith and Doubt In Family Life

  Welcome to this episode of Blueprints, where Greg and Cody discuss how to talk to your kids about faith and doubt. Listener Question:From: Amanda in Chicago, IllinoisTimestamp: 4:58Question: "I'm a parent of two children, ages 8 and 10, and I'm struggling with how to approach faith with my kids. They have started expressing doubt and questioning the teachings they've grown up with. How can I encourage their spiritual growth without making them feel pressured or judged while still maintaining the core spiritual values I believe are important for their lives?"The Goal: To help parents navigate their children's faith questions with understanding and without fear, ensuring that these inquiries are part of a healthy spiritual journey.Key Takeaways from the Episode:The Big Idea:It's not our job to save our children; that's God's role. Our responsibility is to model genuine faith and allow God to work in their lives.Emphasizing that questions and doubts are natural parts of a spiritual journey and can lead to deeper understanding and faith.Biblical Inspiration:Faith is described as a dynamic interaction initiated by God, with biblical figures like Abraham and Moses illustrating how personal struggles and doubts can lead to profound faith.Discussion on how biblical stories teach us about the strength of faith that includes questioning and seeking.What’s at Stake:Ignoring or dismissing children's spiritual doubts can lead to disengagement from faith.Encouraging open dialogue about faith and doubts can strengthen personal and family faith journeys.Practical Steps for Cultivating Understanding and Openness in Faith:Model Genuine Faith:Share personal struggles and victories in faith transparently with children.Demonstrate that faith can coexist with doubt and is not a pathway devoid of obstacles.Foster a Safe Environment for Questions:Encourage children to express their doubts and questions without fear of judgment.Use questions as opportunities for joint exploration of faith, not just teaching moments.Encourage Exploration and Curiosity:Support children in seeking answers and understanding, showing that faith is not about having all the answers but about seeking truth with God's guidance.Favorite Quotes from This Episode:"It's not your job to save them; it's God's job to save them.""Faith is not forced; if it's forced, then it's not real faith."Greg and Cody’s Parenting Wins & Fails:Greg’s Insight:Shares a personal story of dealing with his son's straightforward approach to the Bible, illustrating the importance of adapting to children's evolving spiritual needs.Cody’s Reflection:Discusses how his initial resistance to family activities like puzzling turns into a metaphor for participating in messy but enriching family and faith dynamics.

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