Holiday Grief, Ham Defense, and the Art of Barely Holding It Together
This one’s different. It’s longer. It’s raw. It’s 26 minutes of dark humor, grief, and real talk about surviving the holidays when everything feels too damn heavy.We’re talking anticipatory grief (the kind that hits before loss), family chaos, and that weird cultural pressure to “be merry” when you’re just trying not to throw a ham at someone. I share about losing my best friend, watching my dad slip away, and the invisible grief that nobody brings a casserole for.This episode blends comedy, science, and heartbreak. It’s messy and real—because so are the holidays. You’ll laugh, maybe cry, probably snort, and definitely feel seen.It’s not a healing guide. It’s a nervous system survival plan for the emotionally fried and spiritually feral.Sorry not sorry—it’s the most human episode I’ve ever recorded.
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26:59
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26:59
The Slow Return: A Meditation for When You Feel Gone
This meditation is for the days when your body feels miles away and your brain’s buffering wheel just keeps spinning. When you’re not “fine,” but you can’t fall apart either.In The Slow Return, Sarai guides you through a nervous-system-safe experience for thawing freeze mode — the moment when your body hits pause because the world’s been too fucking much. It’s slow. Gentle. Real. You’ll move through breath, micro-movements, sensory grounding, and a mirror moment that helps you finally meet the part of you that’s been waiting to feel seen.There’s no pushing, no performance, no pressure to “rise.” This is about remembering the version of you that stayed — even when everything else shut down.Listen when:You feel numb, heavy, or far from yourself.You’ve been in survival mode so long that peace feels foreign.You’re ready to stop fighting your body and start listening to it again.You’ll leave with: A body that feels a little less frozen. A breath that feels like it actually belongs to you. And a reminder that healing isn’t a race — it’s a slow return.
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17:21
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17:21
Defrosting the Freeze (SOMATIC exercises for the Numb)
If you’ve been feeling like a human iPhone stuck on 1%, welcome to the freeze response — the least sexy survival state in the nervous-system lineup.This episode breaks down what’s actually happening when your body taps out: We go full nerd on the dorsal vagal system, the HPA axis, and the neurochemistry that makes you feel like a ghost in your own skin.Then we move — slowly, gently — through six science-backed somatic resets to help you thaw without forcing anything: eye-tracking, micro-movements, temperature contrast, humming, and soft pressure techniques that whisper safety back into your body.No toxic positivity. No “just get up and move.”Just real neuroscience, explained in human language, with zero shame and a few well-placed F-bombs.By the end, you’ll understand why freeze happens, how to tell when you’re in it, and what to actually do when your nervous system goes full opossum mode. You’ll walk away with tools to reconnect to your body — one millimeter, one hum, one breath at a time.Listen if:You’ve been “numb but exhausted” for months.You keep calling it burnout, but it feels more like vanishing.You want to know what’s going on in your brain when everything just... stops.
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13:23
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13:23
Fuck This Freeze: Affirmations for When You’re Too Tired to Function
If you’ve been staring at your wall, forgetting what day it is, or moving slower than a dial-up modem in hell—welcome to freeze mode.This episode isn’t about “snapping out of it.” It’s about calling out your nervous system’s bullshit with love, laughter, and a few strategic F-bombs. We’ll breathe (the lazy way), swear (the effective way), and roast the entire concept of hustle culture until your body remembers how to exist again.Expect chaotic affirmations, zero toxic positivity, and one sacred mantra: “Fuck it. I’m breathing.”Listen if:You’ve been scrolling so long you forgot what you were looking for.Every task feels like climbing Everest in emotional Crocs.You’re convinced everyone else is thriving while you’re buffering.Featuring:4-6 breathwork for the chronically frozenMicro-movement wins for when your limbs refuse to participateSarai-approved sarcasm and nervous-system truth bombs
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7:56
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7:56
Fuck It, I’m Breathing: A Guided Meditation for When You’re Over It
This isn’t a calm, whispery meditation for people who have their shit together.This is for the overthinkers, the anxious gremlins, and the “I might spontaneously combust if one more person emails me ‘per my last message’” crowd.In this episode, we’re not transcending—we’re surviving. You’ll breathe & face your anxiety Gremlin. No sage. No sit-still-and-smile. Just a feral, hilarious, full-body permission slip to stop pretending you’re fine.You’ll meet your anxiety gremlin (mine’s named Brenda), tell them to sit the hell down, and breathe until your body remembers that being alive doesn’t have to feel like an Olympic sport.By the end, you won’t just be “calm.” You’ll be clear. You’ll be human. You’ll be breathing — and that’s enough.Listen if: • Your brain won’t shut the fuck up. • You’re tired of “just meditate” advice from people who’ve never had a panic attack. • You want to laugh your way out of a spiral instead of dissociating through it.
This isn’t your sugary, sweet, diabetes-inducing healing podcast.
This is Combative Calm—where nervous system regulation meets rage rituals, somatic releases, and spicy affirmations laced with f-bombs to unfck your trauma responses.
Hosted by Sarai Speer—a trauma-informed yoga + meditation teacher, somatic healer, and high-energy bitch who tells it like it is—this show delivers real tools, not toxic positivity.
It’s trauma-informed, nervous system-rooted healing for the emotionally constipated, burnout-curious, high-functioning humans who are done pretending they’re fine.
It’s time to regulate your shit.
Brasil