The Kids or Childfree Podcast

In this conversation, Keltie is joined by 32-year-old Alfonso Costas — a new dad from Spain, living in Munich with his German wife and their 14-month-old son.

Hear Alfonso share:

How he knew he wanted to be a dad — and the doubts he encountered along the way.


Why he views fatherhood as an "invitation" — rather than a choice made due to pressure.


The perspectives on parenthood that allow him to weather its challenges and difficulties.


The important conversations he and his wife had to have before trying to conceive — and how they've balanced the responsibilities of raising their son. 


How he and his wife have navigated their different cultural backgrounds and decisions like where to live.


Why he thinks its important for men to take paternity leave.


The joy he's finding in parenthood so far.

About Alfonso:

Alfonso was born and raised in Spain. He moved to the USA to study at age 18, and then to Munich to work as a mechanical engineer at age 24. He's married to German wife with a Vietnamese background and they have a 14-month old son together.

Mentioned in the episode:

Find Alfonso on LinkedIn at https://www.linkedin.com/in/costasalfonso/
Join the Spring session of our Kids or Childfree Group Program: https://www.kidsorchildfree.com/kids-or-childfree-program

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MORE HELP FOR YOUR KIDS OR CHILDFREE DECISION
Start Here: sign up for an upcoming WORKSHOP
🔗 https://kidsorchildfree.com/workshop
Join a GROUP PROGRAM
🔗 Kids or Childfree Group Program ▸ https://www.kidsorchildfree.com/kids-or-childfree-program
🔗Confidently Childfree Group Intensive ▸ https://www.kidsorchildfree.com/confidently-childfree-group-intensive
Access an ON DEMAND class
🔗 Peruse the entire On Demand Collection ▸ https://www.kidsorchildfree.com/ondemand
Join one of our monthly SUPPORT SERIES sessions
🔗 Kids or Childfree Support Series ▸ https://kidsorchildfree.com/kids-or-childfree-support-series
🔗Confidently Childfree Support Series ▸ https://kidsorchildfree.com/confidently-childfree-support-series
Work with me in 1-on-1 COACHING
🔗 https://kidsorchildfree.com/coaching
FREE resources ▸ https://kidsorchildfree.com/free-resources

We're celebrating our 100th episode of the podcast by turning the mic over to you, to hear your journeys, the insights that helped you most, and the episodes that left a lasting impression. 


(0:07) Celebrating 100 episodes of The Kids or Childfree Podcast; (7:18) Monica, 34, from Illinois, USA; (12:21) Jara, 36, from Spain; (16:54) Kristin, 42, from Georgia, USA; (18:20) Kristen from Ontario, Canada; (24:32) Taylor, 33, from New York, USA; (29:39) Emma, 38, from Colorado, USA; (36:39) Paige, 36, from California, USA; (41:14) Kate, 36, from Ohio, USA

Mentioned in the episode:

These are the resources and podcast episodes shared by our guest listeners:

Kristin:

The Baby Decision by Merle Bombardieri
Episode 29 with Merle Bombardieri

Kristen:

Episode 62 and Episode 86 and with Anne Wennhold
Episode 29 with Merle Bombardieri
Episode 79 with Carrie Hauskens
Episode 28 with Alice Greczyn
Episode 30 with Nicole Louie
Episode 26 with Katy Seppi

Taylor:

Check out the DINK Social app
Episode 8 with Maria Coffey 
Episode 10 with Ruby Warrington
Episode 62 and Episode 86 and with Anne Wennhold
Episode 83 with Helen Taylor
Episode 16 with Jane van Dis, MD
Episode 21 with Julie McFadden (a.k.a. Hospice Nurse Julie)
Episode 24 and Episode 95 with Dr. Jay Zigmont
Episode 42 with Astrid Hurault de Ligny

Emma:

Private coaching with Keltie
Confidently Childfree Support Series
Episode 83 with Helen Taylor
Episode 91 with Marcia Drut-Davis
Episode 8 with Maria Coffey 
Episode 23 with Amanda E. White 
Episode 24 and Episode 95 with Dr. Jay Zigmont

Paige:

Kids or Childfree Group Program 

Kate:

Kids or Childfree Group Workshop 


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MORE HELP FOR YOUR KIDS OR CHILDFREE DECISION
Start Here: sign up for an upcoming WORKSHOP
🔗 https://kidsorchildfree.com/workshop
Join a GROUP PROGRAM
🔗 Kids or Childfree Group Program ▸ https://www.kidsorchildfree.com/kids-or-childfree-program
🔗Confidently Childfree Group Intensive ▸ https://www.kidsorchildfree.com/confidently-childfree-group-intensive
Access an ON DEMAND class
🔗 Peruse the entire On Demand Collection ▸ https://www.kidsorchildfree.com/ondemand
Join one of our monthly SUPPORT SERIES sessions
🔗 Kids or Childfree Support Series ▸ https://kidsorchildfree.com/kids-or-childfree-support-series
🔗Confidently Childfree Support Series ▸ https://kidsorchildfree.com/confidently-childfree-support-series
Work with me in 1-on-1 COACHING
🔗 https://kidsorchildfree.com/coaching
FREE resources ▸ https://kidsorchildfree.com/free-resources

In this conversation, producer, sound designer, and creator of CBC Personally's Creation Myth podcast, Helena De Groot, shares her deeply personal journey of deciding to remain childfree.

Hear Keltie & Helena discuss:
The complex emotions and societal expectations surrounding the decision to have kids or remain childfree.


Why the possibility of personal growth was one of the biggest factors pulling Helena toward the motherhood path.


What she wishes she handled differently when discussing her desire to be childfree with her ex-husband.


The conversation that finally helped solidify her childfree choice.


How she grappled with the topic of meaning and her place in this world, without kids.
(1:03) Meet Helena, her podcast, and her Kids or Childfree decision
(28:30) Conversations with friends about the Kids or Childfree decision
(37:32) Helena and her first husband's differing opinions about having kids
(48:13) Convenience and connection, the danger of the term "childfree"
(58:22) The advice that helped Helena find clarity
(1:10:33) Meaning and purpose without kids

Mentioned in this episode:

Finding Helena online at www.helenadegroot.me

Tune into the Creation Myth podcast on CBC Personally: https://app.magellan.ai/listen_links/zkujNM
Her Instagram is @helenavelikaja

Discover Helena's other work:
Poetry Off the Shelf:

Every two weeks, Helena interviews a poet about their life and work. 
In Touch the Moon, is an interview with a highly original man who wrote a book about William Blake.
In Pen Pals, a poet friend and her spent a summer exchanging voice messages, about aging and the death of his parents.
In Glow in the Dark, she talked to a poet with ALS, 20 days before she died, then interviewed her best friend and her husband. 


Audiobook about Mary Oliver, titled Wild and Precious.


🔗 Join our upcoming Kids or Childfree Group Program:

https://www.kidsorchildfree.com/kids-or-childfree-program

About Helena:

Helena de Groot is a producer and sound designer on many critically acclaimed, prize-winning podcasts and audiobooks, such as the New Yorker favorite Paris Review Podcast and New York Times selected Wild and Precious: An Ode to Mary Oliver, she also talks to writers and artists for the Poetry Foundation podcast Poetry Off the Shelf. Her latest show, Creation Myth, is an audio memoir and Tribeca Official Selection for CBC Personally where she asks the mother of all questions: do I want to have kids?

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MORE HELP FOR YOUR KIDS OR CHILDFREE DECISION
Start Here: sign up for an upcoming WORKSHOP
🔗 https://kidsorchildfree.com/workshop
Join a GROUP PROGRAM
🔗 Kids or Childfree Group Program ▸ https://www.kidsorchildfree.com/kids-or-childfree-program
🔗Confidently Childfree Group Intensive ▸ https://www.kidsorchildfree.com/confidently-childfree-group-intensive
Access an ON DEMAND class
🔗 Peruse the entire On Demand Collection ▸ https://www.kidsorchildfree.com/ondemand
Join one of our monthly SUPPORT SERIES sessions
🔗 Kids or Childfree Support Series ▸ https://kidsorchildfree.com/kids-or-childfree-support-series
🔗Confidently Childfree Support Series ▸ https://kidsorchildfree.com/confidently-childfree-support-series
Work with me in 1-on-1 COACHING
🔗 https://kidsorchildfree.com/coaching
FREE resources ▸ https://kidsorchildfree.com/free-resources

In this episode, Keltie speaks with mom-to-one and former fence-sitter, Jordy Snyder, about her personal journey through indecision to her choice to become a mom.

Hear them discuss:
The key fears that kept Jordy stuck, and how she overcame them


Why learning to trust herself and her inner resilience was such an important part of her journey


How small steps toward motherhood allowed Jordy to develop greater comfort with the idea of having a child


The importance of open and supportive communication with her partner as she navigated her uncertainty


The joy Jordy has found in motherhood, and how she's grown since becoming a parent


Mentioned in this episode:

Find Jordy on LinkedIn at linkedin.com/in/jordannasnyder/

Join one of our monthly Kids or Childfree Workshops:
🔗 https://www.kidsorchildfree.com/workshop


About Jordy:

Jordy has a Masters in Public Health, and works in maternal and child health to ensure there is an adequate and trained workforce to serve all kids, moms, and families. She lives in Washington DC, surrounded by an amazing partner, group of friends, and adorable toddler.

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MORE HELP FOR YOUR KIDS OR CHILDFREE DECISION
Start Here: sign up for an upcoming WORKSHOP
🔗 https://kidsorchildfree.com/workshop
Join a GROUP PROGRAM
🔗 Kids or Childfree Group Program ▸ https://www.kidsorchildfree.com/kids-or-childfree-program
🔗Confidently Childfree Group Intensive ▸ https://www.kidsorchildfree.com/confidently-childfree-group-intensive
Access an ON DEMAND class
🔗 Peruse the entire On Demand Collection ▸ https://www.kidsorchildfree.com/ondemand
Join one of our monthly SUPPORT SERIES sessions
🔗 Kids or Childfree Support Series ▸ https://kidsorchildfree.com/kids-or-childfree-support-series
🔗Confidently Childfree Support Series ▸ https://kidsorchildfree.com/confidently-childfree-support-series
Work with me in 1-on-1 COACHING
🔗 https://kidsorchildfree.com/coaching
FREE resources ▸ https://kidsorchildfree.com/free-resources

This week we're hosting our first-ever "guest podcast" episode featuring our recent conversation on Monica Cardenas' The Bad Mothers Podcast.

Join Monica and I for a discussion about being a childfree dog mom. How does having a dog — and especially a puppy — help us frame our ideas about motherhood? 

As mentioned in the show:

Get a ticket to join our upcoming "Pet Reflections" Kids or Childfree Support Session on March 18th: https://www.kidsorchildfree.com/kids-or-childfree-support-series

Find Monica on Instagram: @monica_is_reading/

Tune in for the rest of The Bad Mothers Podcast and read Monica's Substack: https://monicacardenas.substack.com/podcast

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MORE HELP FOR YOUR KIDS OR CHILDFREE DECISION
Start Here: sign up for an upcoming WORKSHOP
🔗 https://kidsorchildfree.com/workshop
Join a GROUP PROGRAM
🔗 Kids or Childfree Group Program ▸ https://www.kidsorchildfree.com/kids-or-childfree-program
🔗Confidently Childfree Group Intensive ▸ https://www.kidsorchildfree.com/confidently-childfree-group-intensive
Access an ON DEMAND class
🔗 Peruse the entire On Demand Collection ▸ https://www.kidsorchildfree.com/ondemand
Join one of our monthly SUPPORT SERIES sessions
🔗 Kids or Childfree Support Series ▸ https://kidsorchildfree.com/kids-or-childfree-support-series
🔗Confidently Childfree Support Series ▸ https://kidsorchildfree.com/confidently-childfree-support-series
Work with me in 1-on-1 COACHING
🔗 https://kidsorchildfree.com/coaching
FREE resources ▸ https://kidsorchildfree.com/free-resources