Unfiltered: Real Talk About Sex & Love

Email us your questions! - unfiltered@puredesire.org
Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk About Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather.
In this episode, we answer these questions:
- Even though I'm faithful to my husband, and love him dearly, I lust and fantasize and my maladaptive daydreaming is out of control. How do I navigate these waters? Is this past trauma and my need for control? Where do I start with healing?
- I stopped my own porn use three years ago after finding out about my husband’s addiction, but I never really addressed it or worked through it — I just buried it. What steps should I take now to deal with the patterns and wounds that may still be affecting my mental health and my relationship with him?
- Why do I want to masturbate after being hurt by my husband? Do I have an addiction or is it a hurt cycle I am going through? Is it because he hurt me and I don't want to have sex with him and am trying to get my own needs met?

Find this and all episodes on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@_UnfilteredPodcast/videos

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Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk About Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather.
In this episode, we answer the following questions:
I’m healing from years of sexual betrayal, and now I’m also experiencing spiritual betrayal as my husband has left our shared faith and is pursuing a different religion. How do I process this loss and know whether there is still hope for our marriage?
After 30 years of addiction and repeated deception, I’m struggling to believe my husband can truly recover and become honest. How realistic is lasting recovery, and are there resources that can help someone learn to recognize and practice genuine honesty?
We’re six months into recovery, and because my husband’s betrayal involved fantasy and a lack of intimacy, extended periods without sex actually trigger my fears. How should we approach the recommendation to abstain from intimacy for 90 days?
If you'd like your questions answered on Unfiltered, send them to us at unfiltered@puredesire.org.
Resources:
Jason Martinkus' Site

Find this and all episodes on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@_UnfilteredPodcast/videos

GET STARTED
Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma
Free eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From Porn
Schedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling Consultation
Join A Pure Desire Online Group

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Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk About Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather.
In this episode, we answer the following questions:
What are some resources or tips on how to talk to children about masturbation? As parents, we weren’t educated about it, and we don’t want it to be a shaming conversation, but it is awkward.
I found something on my child’s phone that made me realize they may be experimenting with sexual content. I’m scared and don’t want to overreact, but I also don’t want to ignore it. How do I have that first conversation in a way that keeps the door open for honesty?
I want to teach my kids about healthy sexuality, but I’m not sure how much to say or where to start. I don’t want to make the conversation awkward or overwhelming, but I also don’t want them learning about sex from the internet or their friends. Where do I begin?
If you'd like your questions answered on Unfiltered, send them to us at unfiltered@puredesire.org.
Resources:
Parent Training Course
How To Talk With Your Kids About Sex Book
Youth Leader Library
Girl Talk

Find this and all episodes on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@_UnfilteredPodcast/videos

GET STARTED
Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma
Free eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From Porn
Schedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling Consultation
Join A Pure Desire Online Group

SOCIALS
Follow us on Facebook
Follow us on Instagram
Follow us on X (Twitter)

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk About Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather.
In this episode, we answer the following questions:
- I’m six months into my husband’s second attempt at recovery, and I’m afraid he may be sober without truly addressing the underlying issues. How can I know he’s genuinely pursuing lasting recovery?
- I feel detached from my feelings and marriage after years of disclosures and broken trust. How can I honestly know whether I want to stay, especially when hope, fear, and wanting to do the right thing make me feel like I don’t have a choice?
- After my husband’s disclosure, I confided in his parents and initially felt supported. Now they’re telling me to trust God, forgive, and stop being suspicious. How do I respond when I no longer feel safe confiding in them?
If you'd like your questions answered on Unfiltered, send them to us at unfiltered@puredesire.org.

Find this and all episodes on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@_UnfilteredPodcast/videos

GET STARTED
Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma
Free eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From Porn
Schedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling Consultation
Join A Pure Desire Online Group

SOCIALS
Follow us on Facebook
Follow us on Instagram
Follow us on X (Twitter)

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk About Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather.
In this episode, we answer the following questions:
- As a woman who struggles, I carry so much shame about it. Sometimes I wonder if this behavior says something terrible about who I am. How do I separate my identity from my struggles and begin healing without being consumed by shame?

- I've noticed that my sexual behaviors often increase when I feel lonely, rejected, stressed, or emotionally overwhelmed. I know the behavior isn’t really meeting the need underneath it, but I still keep going back to it. How do I learn to recognize and respond to those deeper needs differently?

- I’ve realized that a lot of my sexual behavior is connected to wanting to feel attractive, desired, or validated by other people. Even when I know I’m crossing boundaries, that attention can feel incredibly powerful. Why do I crave that validation so much, and how do I begin changing that pattern?
If you'd like your questions answered on Unfiltered, send them to us at unfiltered@puredesire.org.

Find this and all episodes on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@_UnfilteredPodcast/videos

GET STARTED
Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma
Free eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From Porn
Schedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling Consultation
Join A Pure Desire Online Group

SOCIALS
Follow us on Facebook
Follow us on Instagram
Follow us on X (Twitter)

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.