Unfiltered: Real Talk About Sex & Love

Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather.
On today’s episode, we answer the following questions:
After decades of sexual abuse and coercive control, I finally divorced. Even now, I struggle to believe I'm valued beyond sex and to feel safe. How can I heal from these deep wounds and reclaim my worth?
My husband shows signs of change, but after years of him attacking my character and wanting physical connection, the emotional whiplash leaves me unable to trust. I’ve lost confidence in myself and feel like I’m barely surviving. How do I begin to heal?
Is lasting sobriety from pornography actually realistic, or am I signing up for being retraumatized indefinitely with every relapse? I feel like every relapse cuts away at my soul and I’m losing myself in this battle.
If you have a question you’d like us to answer on Unfiltered, email us at unfiltered@puredesire.org. We can’t wait to hear from you!
Resources:
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Find this and all episodes on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@_UnfilteredPodcast/videos

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Free eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From Porn
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Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather.
On today’s episode, we answer the following questions:
I’ve been hiding my sexual behaviors for years, and I’m exhausted from living a double life. I love God and want freedom, but I keep falling back into the same patterns. How do I break the cycle of shame and believe lasting recovery is possible?
I know my behaviors have hurt the people I love, and I want to be honest, but I’m terrified of the consequences. I don’t know how to balance taking responsibility with not overwhelming others. What does healthy honesty and disclosure look like in recovery?
I’m beginning to realize my sexual behaviors have been a way of coping with loneliness, stress, and unresolved pain. If I take these behaviors away, I’m afraid of what I’ll be left to face. How do I heal the deeper wounds without returning to old coping mechanisms?
If you have a question you’d like us to answer on Unfiltered, email us at unfiltered@puredesire.org. We can’t wait to hear from you!

Find this and all episodes on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@_UnfilteredPodcast/videos

GET STARTED
Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma
Free eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From Porn
Schedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling Consultation
Join A Pure Desire Online Group

SOCIALS
Follow us on Facebook
Follow us on Instagram
Follow us on X (Twitter)

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather.
On today’s episode, we answer the following questions:
- I’m struggling to reconcile my husband’s faith with the disturbing, demented, and truly evil sexual behaviors I discovered. How do I process the shock of what he’s done without minimizing the harm or becoming consumed by it?
- I struggle to be around my spouse after years of betrayal and pseudo-recovery. Every kind of connection feels repulsive, and I need language for how I’m feeling. Is this reaction normal, and what does healing look like?
- After our full disclosure and hearing everything my husband has done, I feel like I’m married to a stranger. Will this feeling ever go away? Will he ever be the man I married?
If you have a question you’d like us to answer on Unfiltered, email us at unfiltered@puredesire.org. We can’t wait to hear from you!


Find this and all episodes on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@_UnfilteredPodcast/videos

GET STARTED
Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma
Free eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From Porn
Schedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling Consultation
Join A Pure Desire Online Group

SOCIALS
Follow us on Facebook
Follow us on Instagram
Follow us on X (Twitter)

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather.

On today’s episode, we answer the following questions:

I discovered my husband’s porn addiction 4 years into our marriage. By the grace of God we’re still married. Then 20 years into our marriage discovered that our son was addicted to same sex porn. At the time, we chose not to tell our younger daughter or extended family. Our daughter is now 20 and still doesn’t know. I don’t want to be the secret keeper or betray my daughter, and yet feel like this is my son’s story to tell. If you were in my shoes, what would you do?

My husband disclosed his porn addiction before we married. Despite all of counseling, coaching, and ongoing recovery work, he still relapses once a month. Recently he crossed one of my firm boundaries: watching porn while home alone with our three young children. When I tried to talk with him about it, he said he felt unsafe and questioned whether my boundaries were helping me. I’m at a loss on how to move forward in this relationship and how to protect my kids.

As a parent, I’m determined to break the cycle and create a healthier home for my children than the one we’ve experienced. What are the most important things I can do today to help them grow up with safety, trust, and healthy views of sexuality?

Find this and all episodes on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@_UnfilteredPodcast/videos

GET STARTED
Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma
Free eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From Porn
Schedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling Consultation
Join A Pure Desire Online Group

SOCIALS
Follow us on Facebook
Follow us on Instagram
Follow us on X (Twitter)

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather.

On today’s episode, we answer the following questions:

I used ChatGPT to understand the pornography my husband viewed because I was desperate for answers. He now says this proves I have poor judgment. Was my response understandable or harmful?

My husband continually fantasizes about my best friend. This has been the most enraging part of his addiction for me. How do I navigate this friendship while trying to heal?

My wife says I'm constantly triggering her healing. I may have mild autism and struggle with empathy. Besides therapy, what can I do to support her better?

If you have a question you’d like us to answer on Unfiltered, email us at unfiltered@puredesire.org. We can’t wait to hear from you!

Resources:

Determined For More

Is This Autism?

Living Stones Coaching

Find this and all episodes on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@_UnfilteredPodcast/videos

GET STARTED
Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma
Free eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From Porn
Schedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling Consultation
Join A Pure Desire Online Group

SOCIALS
Follow us on Facebook
Follow us on Instagram
Follow us on X (Twitter)

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.