Unfiltered: Real Talk About Sex & Love

• 058 - When Recovery & Healing Seem Impossible

  Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather.On today’s episode, we answer the following questions:During our full disclosure, my husband confessed to having fantasies about my young adult daughter. She is his step-daughter and he did not raise her. He then confessed that he is aroused by most developed females. I suppose my question is this: is there really hope that his arousal template can change and our marriage can survive and thrive? I am scared to stay in this marriage and circle the drain for years. I am scared I will never feel safe around any other females, including my own daughter. After years of struggling, including a particularly destructive 2023–2024, my husband claims to have maintained five months of sobriety following a brief relapse. Yet he’s not active in a men’s group or recovery program and only recently resumed counseling. Can long-term sobriety truly begin without consistent support, especially after a lifetime of addiction and minimal accountability?I struggle with unmet expectations after years of addiction and my own enabling. My husband’s emotional affair lasted months, with multiple other women involved. He now says he wants change—for himself—and is more present with our kids. But I’m exhausted doing the work alone while he remains passive in recovery. Am I asking too much to want true partnership and understanding in this healing process? Find this and all episodes on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@_UnfilteredPodcast/videos GET STARTEDFree eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal TraumaFree eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From PornSchedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling ConsultationJoin A Pure Desire Online Group SOCIALSFollow us on FacebookFollow us on InstagramFollow us on X (Twitter)

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• 057 - Communication, Spiritual Bypass, & Self-Esteem

  Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather.On today’s episode, we answer the following questions:How does one communicate needs in a marriage when one partner is stuck in the shame spiral of addiction? My husband gets defensive when I express my needs, which deepens my emotional wounds. How can I safely share my feelings and build trust and intimacy when he reacts this way?Could you talk more about spiritual bypass? It seems like people sometimes use faith or spiritual practices to avoid addressing deeper emotional or relational issues. How can we recognize spiritual bypassing, and how can it be harmful to personal healing or relationships? I’d love to hear more on this topic.I would like to hear more about self-esteem or self-love in healing. For the betrayed partner, working on self-esteem has been foundational to my healing and my husband's. Yet, church and Christian writers often reject the concept, especially in women's ministry. Why is there fear of elevating oneself in this context?If you have a question you’d like us to answer on Unfiltered, email us at [email protected] can’t wait to hear from you! Find this and all episodes on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@_UnfilteredPodcast/videos GET STARTEDFree eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal TraumaFree eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From PornSchedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling ConsultationJoin A Pure Desire Online Group SOCIALSFollow us on FacebookFollow us on InstagramFollow us on X (Twitter)

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• 056 - Navigating Passion, Sex, & Physical Touch

  Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather.On today’s episode, we answer the following questions:Our sex life confuses me. My husband expects me to engage instantly, even after disconnection, yet refuses intimacy unless I’m fully enthusiastic. I’m willing, even when not interested, but he won’t proceed unless I’m all in. We feel like we live separate lives—could that be affecting our intimacy?My sex-addicted husband won’t have sex, even after 5 months sober. He avoids it, can't perform without porn or escorts, and even Viagra isn’t reliable. I try, I’m willing, but he pulls away. What now? Will we just become roommates? Can he heal? Do I accept a sexless marriage?Could you discuss how to navigate touch in a relationship after betrayal? My husband, currently separated and sleeping on the couch, doesn’t understand why I can’t stand being touched—even a hug. His touch feels like “taking” from me, and I feel gross when I don’t desire it. How can we address this?If you have a question you’d like us to answer on Unfiltered, email us at  [email protected] Find this and all episodes on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@_UnfilteredPodcast/videos GET STARTEDFree eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal TraumaFree eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From PornSchedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling ConsultationJoin A Pure Desire Online Group SOCIALSFollow us on FacebookFollow us on InstagramFollow us on X (Twitter)

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• 055 - What to Do After Decades of Betrayal

  If you have a question you’d like us to answer on Unfiltered, email us at [email protected]. We can’t wait to hear from you!Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather.On today’s episode, we answer the following questions:After 29 years, my husband had an affair, quit his job, filed for divorce, and left—refusing counseling or reconciliation. I still love him and believe in restoration, but he’s enamored with someone else. Am I pitiful for hoping? How do I find peace when my ex husband shows no remorse?I’m at the end of my rope. After 37 years of porn use, my husband is only in Seven Pillars because I gave an ultimatum. He shows no real desire to change. How is Betrayal & Beyond helpful when there’s no true repentance? Are these resources only for willing spouses?After 42 years of marriage, my husband changed after retirement. We stopped having sex early, and he turned to porn. Now, he lies, denies, and gaslights me, even after attending groups. At 76, I wonder if he truly wants change. Should I stay or separate? Any advice?Resources:PD Podcast w/ Andrea Rogers Find this and all episodes on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@_UnfilteredPodcast/videos GET STARTEDFree eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal TraumaFree eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From PornSchedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling ConsultationJoin A Pure Desire Online Group SOCIALSFollow us on FacebookFollow us on InstagramFollow us on X (Twitter)

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• 054 - Recovery is Not a 'One Size Fits All'l Process

  If you have a question you’d like us to answer on Unfiltered, email us at [email protected]. We can’t wait to hear from you!Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather.On today’s episode, we answer the following questions:- My husband has nearly 9 months of sobriety. He finished Seven Pillars and now attends a men's group for ongoing support, but he's growing tired of the 30-minute drive. How much sobriety and healing should he have before stepping away from group? When is it okay to stop?- Most resources address wives betrayed by porn or affairs—but what about the wife who realizes she is where her husband acts out? What if she’s both his sex drug and dealer, yet he refuses to see it and blames her lack of desire, ignoring his pressure and coercion?- PLEASE, PLEASE DO MORE ABOUT HUSBANDS ACTING OUT WITH PROSTITUTES. That’s what my husband did for years and I’m so beyond broken. I can’t find a lot of info on acting out with sex workers. They were younger than my daughter and I don’t know how to handle it. 💔 Find this and all episodes on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@_UnfilteredPodcast/videos GET STARTEDFree eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal TraumaFree eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From PornSchedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling ConsultationJoin A Pure Desire Online Group SOCIALSFollow us on FacebookFollow us on InstagramFollow us on X (Twitter)

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