Fragmented to Whole: Life Lessons from 12 Step Recovery

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In this week’s episode of the Fragmented to Whole Podcast, I’m exploring what actually shifts when emotional safety stops coming from outside of you and starts being built internally. We talk about how our relationship with emotions changes when we stop using them as evidence about other people and start listening to them as information about ourselves.
Some of the talking points I go over in this episode include:
Why emotions are not verdicts about other people, but internal signals pointing to our needs, limits, and values.
How growing up without emotional guidance leads us to scan the outside world for safety instead of developing self-trust.
Why resentment, anxiety, guilt, and numbness are forms of information, not character flaws or signs that something is wrong with you.
How repeatedly asking yourself “What do I want or need?” builds self-trust and internal safety over time.
Why internal safety quiets emotional chaos and allows you to respond instead of react.
When emotions stop being emergencies and start becoming messages, everything changes. You no longer need to fix others, suppress yourself, or abandon your needs to feel okay. Internal safety allows you to turn inward, listen, and respond from alignment instead of fear.
Be sure to tune in to all the episodes to receive tons of practical tools for building emotional safety, setting boundaries, and living a more whole, grounded life.
Thank you for listening. If this episode resonated, take a screenshot and share it in your stories. Tag me and let me know what stood out for you. And don’t forget to follow, rate, and review the podcast.
Learn more about Fragmented to Whole at:
https://higherpowercc.com/podcast/
Feeling emotionally drained or overwhelmed? Take my free Boundaries Drain Quiz to find out where your energy is leaking and how to reclaim it:
https://higherpowercc.com/drain/

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In this week’s episode of the Fragmented to Whole Podcast, I’m sharing a deeply personal realization about how long I treated myself like a project instead of a person, and how learning to tolerate ease required far more courage than pushing ever did.
This episode isn’t about productivity, optimization, or mindset. It’s about what happens when compassion reaches places that pressure never could, and how shame begins to release when the nervous system finally feels contextualized and safe.
Some of the talking points I go over in this episode include:
How treating yourself like a project quietly creates an internal atmosphere of evaluation and self-judgment
The difference between using practices to support yourself versus using them to correct yourself
Why avoidance and procrastination are often protection, not self-sabotage
How fear is information, not prophecy, and why it doesn’t get to run your life
What changes when something that lived wordlessly in the body is finally met with language, compassion, and boundaries
You’re not failing at ease. You’re learning to tolerate it.
And that learning isn’t about doing more or getting it right faster. It’s about creating enough internal safety to inhabit your own life without urgency, self-attack, or shame.
Be sure to tune in to all the episodes for reflections, recovery insights, and gentle reminders that real change happens through context, not force.
Thank you for listening. If this episode resonated, take a screenshot, share it in your stories, and tag me. And don’t forget to follow, rate, and review the podcast and share your key takeaways.
Learn more about Fragmented to Whole at
https://higherpowercc.com/podcast/
Feeling drained? Take my free Boundaries Drain Quiz to see where your energy is leaking and how to reclaim it:
https://higherpowercc.com/drain/

CONNECT WITH BARB NANGLE:

Subscribe to “Friday Fragments” weekly newsletter
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Work with Barb! 
Book a “Say No Without Guilt” Session

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In this week’s episode of the Fragmented to Whole Podcast, I’m talking about why so many couples get stuck having the same arguments over and over, and how real listening isn’t about communication techniques, but about the assumptions we bring into the conversation before we ever open our mouths.
This episode explores how internal safety, meaning-making, and unmanaged expectations quietly fuel chronic conflict loops in long-term relationships.
Some of the talking points I go over in this episode include:
Why chronic conflict is usually about exhaustion and meaning, not poor communication skills
How collapsing disagreement into disrespect escalates fights and shuts down listening
The danger of assigning meaning to behavior before actually communicating
Why difference is not a boundary violation and does not need to be “fixed”
How internal safety allows you to tolerate difference without panic or control
If you find yourself stuck in chronic conflict loops, I want you to gently ask yourself a few questions.
Where am I assuming disrespect instead of difference?
What meaning am I assigning before I’ve actually communicated?
Am I trying to be understood, or am I trying to change who my partner is?
Listening doesn’t mean agreement. It doesn’t mean sameness. It means making room for difference without turning it into a problem that needs to be solved. When we stop trying to win and start trying to understand, connection becomes possible again.
Be sure to tune in to all the episodes for practical tools, recovery insights, and real-life examples of what it means to live a more whole life.
Thank you for listening. If this episode resonated, take a screenshot, share it in your stories, and tag me. And don’t forget to follow, rate, and review the podcast and share your key takeaways.
Learn more about Fragmented to Whole at
https://higherpowercc.com/podcast/
Feeling drained? Take my free Boundaries Drain Quiz to see where your energy is leaking and how to reclaim it:
https://higherpowercc.com/drain/

CONNECT WITH BARB NANGLE:

Subscribe to “Friday Fragments” weekly newsletter
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Work with Barb! 
Book a “Say No Without Guilt” Session

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In this week’s episode of the Fragmented to Whole Podcast, I’m sharing a powerful realization from my own recovery journey: the pattern of emotionally unavailable partners wasn’t just about who I was choosing, it was about my own emotional availability.
For years, I believed I was unlucky in love. Through ACA recovery and a deep relationship inventory, I discovered how my nervous system, conditioning, and avoidance of emotions were shaping my relationships far more than I realized.
Some of the talking points I go over in this episode include:
Why attracting emotionally unavailable partners is often a sign of emotional unavailability within yourself.
How ACA Step Four and the concept of causes and conditions revealed my relationship patterns.
The role of emotional avoidance, numbing, and codependence in romantic dynamics.
How emotions like resentment are signals, not verdicts, and what they’re really telling you.
Why boundaries are about clarity and self-responsibility, not control.
If you want healthier, more secure relationships, the work doesn’t start with finding better partners. It starts with becoming emotionally available to yourself. Learning to feel, listen, speak honestly, and set boundaries is where real change happens.
Relationship inventory categories:
Person
What I expected
What I got
My dependent behavior
How relationship ended

Additional categories I tracked:
Who was I in love with?
Who was I in relationship wth where we both knew “we’re boyfriend and girlfriend?”
Which relationships included massive substance use?
Which relationships included infidelity with either of us?
Which ones were friends with benefits?
Who did I break up with and who broke up with me?
Be sure to tune in to all the episodes for practical tools, recovery insights, and real-life examples of what it means to live a more whole life.
Thank you for listening! If this episode resonated, take a screenshot, share it in your stories, and tag me. And don’t forget to follow, rate, and review the podcast and share your biggest takeaway.
Learn more about Fragmented to Whole at
https://higherpowercc.com/podcast/
Feeling drained? Take my free Boundaries Drain Quiz to see where your energy is leaking and how to reclaim it:
https://higherpowercc.com/drain/

CONNECT WITH BARB NANGLE:

Subscribe to “Friday Fragments” weekly newsletter
Linkedin
Work with Barb! 
Book a “Say No Without Guilt” Session

Send us a text
In this week’s episode of the Fragmented to Whole Podcast, I’m exploring attachment from a different angle and sharing how boundaries and recovery can actually create secure attachment, even if you didn’t grow up with it.
Instead of focusing on attachment labels, we look at how internal safety, self-trust, and boundaries change the way we show up in romantic relationships.
Some of the talking points I go over in this episode include:
The difference between anxious, avoidant, disorganized, and secure attachment and how they often show up in adult relationships
How self-abandonment fuels insecure attachment patterns like chasing, distancing, and resentment
Why boundaries aren’t about pushing people away, but about staying connected to yourself
How boundary work creates internal safety and builds self-trust over time
Why secure attachment can be developed in adulthood through recovery and consistent boundary practice
Secure attachment isn’t something you either got in childhood or missed forever. When you stop abandoning yourself, you stop building abandonment into your relationships. Boundaries help you stay present, grounded, and connected to who you are, so relationships stop feeling like life or death and start feeling safe.
Be sure to tune in to all the episodes to receive practical tools for building emotional safety, healthier relationships, and a more whole life.
Thank you for listening. If this episode resonated, take a screenshot, share it in your stories, and tag me. And don’t forget to follow, rate, and review the podcast and share your key takeaways.
Learn more about Fragmented to Whole at
https://higherpowercc.com/podcast/
Feeling drained in your relationships? Take my free Boundaries Drain Quiz to see where your energy is leaking and how to reclaim it.
Start here: https://higherpowercc.com/drain/

CONNECT WITH BARB NANGLE:
Subscribe to “Friday Fragments” weekly newsletter
Linkedin
Work with Barb! 
Book a “Say No Without Guilt” Session