Full-Tilt Parenting: Strategies, Insights, and Connection for Parents Raising Neurodivergent Children

Dr. Stuart Shanker, author of Self-Reg, shares his expertise on self-regulation, offering practical strategies and compassionate insights to help neurodivergent kids and their families manage stress and build self-awareness.
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Today, I’m joined by Bryden Carlson-Giving, an occupational therapy practitioner and the creator of the EMPOWER model, the first neurodiversity-affirming OT framework. Bryden is both neurodivergent and disabled himself, and his work focuses on helping practitioners challenge ableism and create more supportive, affirming environments for neurodivergent individuals.

In our conversation, Bryden walks us through the EMPOWER model and what it looks like in practice, especially when it comes to evaluations, goal-setting, and therapy approaches. We talk about how ableism can show up in subtle and systemic ways, and what it means to truly shift toward inclusive, affirming care. This is a thoughtful, important conversation about reimagining support — not just in therapy, but across education and systems more broadly.

About Bryden Carlson-Giving

Bryden Carlson-Giving, OTD, OTR/L is a neurodivergent and disabled occupational therapy practitioner (OTP) with experience in pediatric outpatient, inpatient, and school-based settings. Bryden earned his post-professional doctorate from Boston University, where his research focused on creating a toolkit to support OTPs in challenging ableism within the OT profession. This work led to the development of the first neurodiversity-affirming occupational therapy model, the EMPOWER model. He received the 2024 Emerging Leader Award from Boston University, and is the editor of the first neurodiversity-focused occupational therapy book, titled Neurodiversity-Affirming Occupational Therapy: Empowering Approaches to Foster Neurodivergent Participation.

Things you'll learn from this episode

How Bryden’s journey into occupational therapy led to creating a neurodiversity-affirming toolkit

Why the Empower model centers strengths-based practice, anti-racism, disability justice, and trauma-informed care

How inclusive evaluations can look in practice, especially within school-based systems

Why implementing neurodiversity-affirming approaches in bureaucratic settings comes with both challenges and opportunities

How ongoing self-reflection and unpacking internalized ableism are essential for practitioners

How parents, educators, and therapists can take practical steps to amplify neurodiversity-affirming work

Resources mentioned

Neuridivergent Nexus (Bryden’s website)

Neurodiversity-Affirming Occupational Therapy: Empowering Approaches to Foster Neurodivergent Participation edited by Dr. Bryden Carlson-Giving

Bryon Carlson-Giving on Instagram

Activist Emily Ladau on Demystifying Disability (Tilt Parenting podcast)

Kassiane Asasumasu (coined the term neurodivergence)

Dr. Destiny Huff on Neurodiversity-Affirming Advocacy in School (Tilt Parenting podcast)

Dr. Jade Rivera and Strength-Based Assessments (Tilt Parenting podcast)

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Linda Murphy describes declarative language as a positive, thoughtful communication style that emphasizes understanding, patience, respect, and kindness, and as you’ll hear from our conversation, it is an ideal communication style for really all children, but especially neurodivergent children and kids whose nervous systems are triggered by demands or more imperative communication styles. We discussed the different ways we can communicate with our children, the language we use, and the effects that simple shifts in the way we have conversations can have in our daily interactions with them. We also explored what is declarative language versus imperative language, as well as the relationship between co-regulation and declarative language and why we should use them in tandem.

Things you'll learn from this episode

* What it means to use declarative language (versus imperative language)

* Why declarative language is so effective for neurodivergent children, and especially those who are wired to be more demand avoidance

* Why declarative language is more effective when paired with co-regulation

* Common language and communication styles that place demands on kids that we may not be aware of (including questions)

* How to introduce declarative language communication and how it can support a child’s learning and development

* What we can hope to see in a child or an adolescent that has been on the receiving end of this style of communication

* What to say instead of “Did you hear what I said”?

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Today we’re diving into dysgraphia—what it is, how it’s different from general handwriting struggles, and why so many kids go unsupported for far too long. My guest is Kelli Fetter, a certified handwriting specialist and occupational therapist, and the founder of Handwriting Solutions. Kelli breaks down the neurological underpinnings of dysgraphia, how it can show up differently from child to child, and why early recognition is so important. We talk about the role of assessment, how to distinguish dysgraphia from more general handwriting difficulties, and what meaningful support can look like at home and in school. This is a practical, eye-opening conversation for anyone trying to better understand—and advocate for—a child struggling with writing.

About Kelli Fetter

Kelli Fetter, MS, OTR/L is a Certified Handwriting Specialist and the founder of Handwriting Solutions, LLC, where she and her team provide world-class handwriting, reading, and spelling tutoring to students virtually across the globe. Beyond her direct work with families, Kelli is a recognized leader in teacher and therapist education, equipping professionals with evidence-based strategies that transform student outcomes.

With a career rooted in occupational therapy, Kelli has practiced in pediatric outpatient clinics, early intervention programs, preschools, and private schools, and has also served as an adjunct professor in pediatrics and kinesiology. Her expertise spans handwriting, dysgraphia, and dyslexia, supported by extensive advanced training in these areas.Kelli’s passion is deeply personal, fueled by her own daughter’s journey with dyslexia and dysgraphia. This lived experience drives her mission to empower parents, educators, and therapists with the tools and confidence they need to unlock every child’s potential.

Things you'll learn from this episode

How dysgraphia differs from messy handwriting and why it’s rooted in complex neurological processes

Why handwriting is such a demanding task for the brain, involving multiple systems working together

How to recognize common signs like avoidance, frustration, and inconsistent output

Why dysgraphia is often overlooked in schools and the importance of comprehensive assessment and advocacy

How to balance skill-building with technology accommodations to support functional success

Why focusing on confidence and real-world skills matters more than striving for perfect handwriting

Resources mentioned

Handwriting Solutions (Kelli’s website)

Handwriting Solutions Blog

Red Flags of Handwriting Struggles (freebie)

Schedule a free consultation

Email Kelli

Kelli on Instagram

Kelli on Facebook

What is Dyscalculia? Parent Advocate Laura Jackson Talks About her Family’s Journey with a Math Disability (Tilt Parenting episode)

Rebecca Bush Offers a Pathway for Parents with Newly-Identified Dyslexic Kids (Tilt Parenting episode)

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Deb Dana, a clinician, consultant, and author, gives us a primer of the key points of Polyvagal Theory, and in doing so, explains the ways in which it can support the way we parent our differently-wired kids. Deb explains the nervous system pathways, why co-regulation is essential to our survival, what befriending and listening to our autonomic nervous system looks like in practice, and the benefits of having a breathing practice. We also talk about why these concepts can change our relationships to our daily life even if our circumstances stay the same.

Things you'll learn from this episode

The mission behind Deb’s book Anchored: How to Befriend Your Nervous System Using Polyvagal Theory

What the nervous system pathways are and the three states we can be in

What aspects of our nervous systems are innate or “hardwired” versus routed in nurture or life experience

Why co-regulation is essential to our survival and examples for ways in which we constantly do naturally

What befriending and listening to our autonomic nervous system looks like in practice

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