From Crisis to Connection - with Geoff & Jody Steurer

After betrayal, forgiveness is often introduced almost immediately as the goal. People may say that healing depends on it, that moving forward requires it, or that forgiveness is the sign you are doing better. For betrayed partners, that message can feel heavy, premature, and disconnected from reality. For recovering partners, forgiveness can start to feel like the finish line that will finally bring relief. In this episode of From Crisis to Connection, Geoff and Jody slow the conversation down and ask a more honest question. Can healing happen even when forgiveness is not present yet, or may never be? This is not a conversation about rejecting forgiveness. It is about timing, pressure, attachment, and why forcing forgiveness often creates more harm than healing. ______________________________ Download the Free Resource: You, Me, Us - A Way Forward After Betrayal When betrayal has shaken your relationship, it can feel impossible to know where to begin. This free 15-minute video and companion worksheet will help you steady yourself, support your partner, and begin caring for the relationship between you. Get your copy here. ______________________________ Join the Courageous Together™ Program Courageous Together™ isn’t just another course, it’s a trauma-informed roadmap that holds both of you in the healing process. If you’ve ever wondered “Where do we even start?” After betrayal, this program gives you the clarity and structure you need. It meets the betrayed partner’s need for safety while guiding the recovering partner toward real accountability, creating a path forward that neither of you has to figure out on your own. Healing from betrayal is overwhelming in isolation, which is why Courageous Together™ brings you expert guidance, practical tools, and a supportive community of couples walking the same road. Inside, you’ll find a step-by-step framework, live support opportunities, and the reassurance that you’re not alone as you rebuild safety, restore trust, and move toward genuine connection. You’ll have access to: A structured healing framework with step-by-step guidance Video lessons and worksheets to build safety, accountability, and connection The option to join live group circles and support calls with me A private, secure community of others walking the same path Learn more and join us inside Courageous Together: www.geoffsteurer.com/courageous-together ______________________________ Stay Connected Website YouTube Instagram Facebook If this episode resonated with you, please share it with someone who might need it. And don’t forget to leave a review! We’d love to hear how this podcast is supporting your healing journey. ______________________________ Watch on YouTube Prefer video? You can watch full episodes of From Crisis to Connection on our YouTube channel: youtube.com/@FromCrisistoConnectionPocast. ______________________________About Geoff Steurer I am a licensed marriage and family therapist and Certified Clinical Partner Specialist (CCPS) with 25+ years of experience helping individuals and couples heal from the devastation of sexual betrayal and broken trust. I am the founder of the Courageous Together program, co-host of the From Crisis to Connection podcast, and co-author of Love You, Hate the Porn. My work integrates trauma-informed care, attachment theory, and practical tools for creating lasting safety and connection. I’ve been married to my wife, Jody, since 1996 and we are the parents of four children. About Jody SteurerJody is the co-host of the From Crisis to Connection podcast, where she brings her thoughtful, common-sense perspective to conversations about healing, trust, and connection. She earned her bachelor’s degree in psychology from Brigham Young University and is an ACA-certified coach. Jody has years of experience in corporate training, small business leadership, and family life, and raising four children (two of them neurodivergent). She loves watercolor painting, landscape design, spending time outdoors, and snow skiing.

Is There Room for the Betrayer’s Pain? Betrayal recovery often centers, understandably, on the pain of the betrayed partner. That pain is visible, consuming, and destabilizing. But beneath the surface, the recovering partner is often carrying pain too, pain that is rarely named and rarely welcomed, especially early in the healing process. In this episode of From Crisis to Connection, Geoff and Jody explore a difficult and easily misunderstood question. Is there room for the pain of the person who broke the trust, and if so, when and how? This is not a conversation about shifting blame or minimizing harm. It is about understanding the order of healing, the limits of capacity, and how ignoring one partner’s humanity ultimately keeps both people isolated. ______________________________ Download the Free Resource: You, Me, Us - A Way Forward After Betrayal When betrayal has shaken your relationship, it can feel impossible to know where to begin. This free 15-minute video and companion worksheet will help you steady yourself, support your partner, and begin caring for the relationship between you. Get your copy here. ______________________________ Join the Courageous Together™ Program Courageous Together™ isn’t just another course, it’s a trauma-informed roadmap that holds both of you in the healing process. If you’ve ever wondered “Where do we even start?” After betrayal, this program gives you the clarity and structure you need. It meets the betrayed partner’s need for safety while guiding the recovering partner toward real accountability, creating a path forward that neither of you has to figure out on your own. Healing from betrayal is overwhelming in isolation, which is why Courageous Together™ brings you expert guidance, practical tools, and a supportive community of couples walking the same road. Inside, you’ll find a step-by-step framework, live support opportunities, and the reassurance that you’re not alone as you rebuild safety, restore trust, and move toward genuine connection. You’ll have access to: A structured healing framework with step-by-step guidance Video lessons and worksheets to build safety, accountability, and connection The option to join live group circles and support calls with me A private, secure community of others walking the same path Learn more and join us inside Courageous Together: www.geoffsteurer.com/courageous-together ______________________________ Stay Connected Website YouTube Instagram Facebook If this episode resonated with you, please share it with someone who might need it. And don’t forget to leave a review! We’d love to hear how this podcast is supporting your healing journey. ______________________________ Watch on YouTube Prefer video? You can watch full episodes of From Crisis to Connection on our YouTube channel: youtube.com/@FromCrisistoConnectionPocast. ______________________________About Geoff Steurer I am a licensed marriage and family therapist and Certified Clinical Partner Specialist (CCPS) with 25+ years of experience helping individuals and couples heal from the devastation of sexual betrayal and broken trust. I am the founder of the Courageous Together program, co-host of the From Crisis to Connection podcast, and co-author of Love You, Hate the Porn. My work integrates trauma-informed care, attachment theory, and practical tools for creating lasting safety and connection. I’ve been married to my wife, Jody, since 1996 and we are the parents of four children. About Jody SteurerJody is the co-host of the From Crisis to Connection podcast, where she brings her thoughtful, common-sense perspective to conversations about healing, trust, and connection. She earned her bachelor’s degree in psychology from Brigham Young University and is an ACA-certified coach. Jody has years of experience in corporate training, small business leadership, and family life, and raising four children (two of them neurodivergent). She loves watercolor painting, landscape design, spending time outdoors, and snow skiing.

Recovery can look convincing on the outside and still be deeply dishonest underneath. The meetings are attended. The books are read. The language sounds right. And yet, something does not feel settled or safe. In this episode of From Crisis to Connection, Geoff and Jody talk about what happens when recovery turns into performance rather than integrity. They discuss how recovery language and behaviors can be used to manage perception, control the story, and keep a betrayed partner doubting their own reality. This conversation speaks directly to betrayed partners who feel something is off but cannot prove it, and to recovering partners who may be performing while avoiding deeper accountability. In this episode, we talk about: How recovery behaviors can be used to gaslight instead of heal Why betrayed partners often sense something's off even when everything looks right The cost of making a betrayed partner explain or justify why something feels off What real integrity looks like Why honesty about inner experience matters as much as external behavior ______________________________ Download the Free Resource: You, Me, Us - A Way Forward After Betrayal When betrayal has shaken your relationship, it can feel impossible to know where to begin. This free 15-minute video and companion worksheet will help you steady yourself, support your partner, and begin caring for the relationship between you. Get your copy here. ______________________________ Join the Courageous Together™ Program Courageous Together™ isn’t just another course, it’s a trauma-informed roadmap that holds both of you in the healing process. If you’ve ever wondered “Where do we even start?” After betrayal, this program gives you the clarity and structure you need. It meets the betrayed partner’s need for safety while guiding the recovering partner toward real accountability, creating a path forward that neither of you has to figure out on your own. Healing from betrayal is overwhelming in isolation, which is why Courageous Together™ brings you expert guidance, practical tools, and a supportive community of couples walking the same road. Inside, you’ll find a step-by-step framework, live support opportunities, and the reassurance that you’re not alone as you rebuild safety, restore trust, and move toward genuine connection. You’ll have access to: A structured healing framework with step-by-step guidance Video lessons and worksheets to build safety, accountability, and connection The option to join live group circles and support calls with me A private, secure community of others walking the same path Learn more and join us inside Courageous Together: www.geoffsteurer.com/courageous-together ______________________________ Stay Connected Website YouTube Instagram Facebook If this episode resonated with you, please share it with someone who might need it. And don’t forget to leave a review! We’d love to hear how this podcast is supporting your healing journey. ______________________________ Watch on YouTube Prefer video? You can watch full episodes of From Crisis to Connection on our YouTube channel: youtube.com/@FromCrisistoConnectionPocast. ______________________________About Geoff Steurer I am a licensed marriage and family therapist and Certified Clinical Partner Specialist (CCPS) with 25+ years of experience helping individuals and couples heal from the devastation of sexual betrayal and broken trust. I am the founder of the Courageous Together program, co-host of the From Crisis to Connection podcast, and co-author of Love You, Hate the Porn. My work integrates trauma-informed care, attachment theory, and practical tools for creating lasting safety and connection. I’ve been married to my wife, Jody, since 1996 and we are the parents of four children. About Jody SteurerJody is the co-host of the From Crisis to Connection podcast, where she brings her thoughtful, common-sense perspective to conversations about healing, trust, and connection. She earned her bachelor’s degree in psychology from Brigham Young University and is an ACA-certified coach. Jody has years of experience in corporate training, small business leadership, and family life, and raising four children (two of them neurodivergent). She loves watercolor painting, landscape design, spending time outdoors, and snow skiing.

When betrayal enters a relationship, one of the first questions people ask is, How bad was it really? Was it pornography, emotional connection, secret messages, a one time physical event, or something ongoing? Many hope that identifying the category will tell them how much pain is reasonable or how much empathy is warranted. But as we explore in this episode, perspective around the type of betrayal often becomes a trap. It can be used to manage shame, minimize pain, or judge how someone should feel. Instead of helping partners heal, it can widen the distance between them. In this conversation we look at how perspective impacts betrayed partners, recovering partners, and the couple as a whole. We talk about why facts alone never explain the full impact of betrayal and what needs to happen before perspective can be useful. ______________________________ Download the Free Resource: You, Me, Us - A Way Forward After Betrayal When betrayal has shaken your relationship, it can feel impossible to know where to begin. This free 15-minute video and companion worksheet will help you steady yourself, support your partner, and begin caring for the relationship between you. Get your copy here. ______________________________ Join the Courageous Together™ Program Courageous Together™ isn’t just another course, it’s a trauma-informed roadmap that holds both of you in the healing process. If you’ve ever wondered “Where do we even start?” After betrayal, this program gives you the clarity and structure you need. It meets the betrayed partner’s need for safety while guiding the recovering partner toward real accountability, creating a path forward that neither of you has to figure out on your own. Healing from betrayal is overwhelming in isolation, which is why Courageous Together™ brings you expert guidance, practical tools, and a supportive community of couples walking the same road. Inside, you’ll find a step-by-step framework, live support opportunities, and the reassurance that you’re not alone as you rebuild safety, restore trust, and move toward genuine connection. You’ll have access to: A structured healing framework with step-by-step guidance Video lessons and worksheets to build safety, accountability, and connection The option to join live group circles and support calls with me A private, secure community of others walking the same path Learn more and join us inside Courageous Together: www.geoffsteurer.com/courageous-together ______________________________ Stay Connected Website YouTube Instagram Facebook If this episode resonated with you, please share it with someone who might need it. And don’t forget to leave a review! We’d love to hear how this podcast is supporting your healing journey. ______________________________ Watch on YouTube Prefer video? You can watch full episodes of From Crisis to Connection on our YouTube channel: youtube.com/@FromCrisistoConnectionPocast. ______________________________About Geoff Steurer I am a licensed marriage and family therapist and Certified Clinical Partner Specialist (CCPS) with 25+ years of experience helping individuals and couples heal from the devastation of sexual betrayal and broken trust. I am the founder of the Courageous Together program, co-host of the From Crisis to Connection podcast, and co-author of Love You, Hate the Porn. My work integrates trauma-informed care, attachment theory, and practical tools for creating lasting safety and connection. I’ve been married to my wife, Jody, since 1996 and we are the parents of four children. About Jody SteurerJody is the co-host of the From Crisis to Connection podcast, where she brings her thoughtful, common-sense perspective to conversations about healing, trust, and connection. She earned her bachelor’s degree in psychology from Brigham Young University and is an ACA-certified coach. Jody has years of experience in corporate training, small business leadership, and family life, and raising four children (two of them neurodivergent). She loves watercolor painting, landscape design, spending time outdoors, and snow skiing.

Avoidance is one of the most common reactions to emotional pain. It shows up as silence, staying busy, withdrawing, shutting down, or convincing yourself that “things will sort themselves out.” At first it feels protective. Over time, it becomes its own form of suffering and keeps couples stuck in the very patterns they’re trying to escape. In this episode, Geoff and Jody explore how avoidance operates in both partners after betrayal and how safely facing difficult truths creates genuine movement in the relationship. What We Cover: For the Betrayed Partner Why avoidance often becomes a survival response How overwhelm, exhaustion, and cultural pressure to “keep the peace” silence your real needs The difference between consciously pausing and unconsciously shutting down For the Recovering Partner How shame and fear fuel hiding, minimizing, and delaying accountability Why avoidance blocks repair and prolongs fear The honest question every recovering partner must answer For the Couple How both partners can slip into a shared pattern of avoidance Why comfort, silence, and homeostasis can feel safer than truth How one partner naming avoidance begins to shift the entire dynamic Remember...avoidance feels safe in the moment, but it interrupts healing. ______________________________ Download the Free Resource: You, Me, Us - A Way Forward After Betrayal When betrayal has shaken your relationship, it can feel impossible to know where to begin. This free 15-minute video and companion worksheet will help you steady yourself, support your partner, and begin caring for the relationship between you. Get your copy here. ______________________________ Join the Courageous Together™ Program Courageous Together™ isn’t just another course, it’s a trauma-informed roadmap that holds both of you in the healing process. If you’ve ever wondered “Where do we even start?” After betrayal, this program gives you the clarity and structure you need. It meets the betrayed partner’s need for safety while guiding the recovering partner toward real accountability, creating a path forward that neither of you has to figure out on your own. Healing from betrayal is overwhelming in isolation, which is why Courageous Together™ brings you expert guidance, practical tools, and a supportive community of couples walking the same road. Inside, you’ll find a step-by-step framework, live support opportunities, and the reassurance that you’re not alone as you rebuild safety, restore trust, and move toward genuine connection. You’ll have access to: A structured healing framework with step-by-step guidance Video lessons and worksheets to build safety, accountability, and connection The option to join live group circles and support calls with me A private, secure community of others walking the same path Learn more and join us inside Courageous Together: www.geoffsteurer.com/courageous-together ______________________________ Stay Connected Website YouTube Instagram Facebook If this episode resonated with you, please share it with someone who might need it. And don’t forget to leave a review! We’d love to hear how this podcast is supporting your healing journey. ______________________________ Watch on YouTube Prefer video? You can watch full episodes of From Crisis to Connection on our YouTube channel: youtube.com/@FromCrisistoConnectionPocast. ______________________________About Geoff Steurer I am a licensed marriage and family therapist and Certified Clinical Partner Specialist (CCPS) with 25+ years of experience helping individuals and couples heal from the devastation of sexual betrayal and broken trust. I am the founder of the Courageous Together program, co-host of the From Crisis to Connection podcast, and co-author of Love You, Hate the Porn. My work integrates trauma-informed care, attachment theory, and practical tools for creating lasting safety and connection. I’ve been married to my wife, Jody, since 1996 and we are the parents of four children. About Jody SteurerJody is the co-host of the From Crisis to Connection podcast, where she brings her thoughtful, common-sense perspective to conversations about healing, trust, and connection. She earned her bachelor’s degree in psychology from Brigham Young University and is an ACA-certified coach. Jody has years of experience in corporate training, small business leadership, and family life, and raising four children (two of them neurodivergent). She loves watercolor painting, landscape design, spending time outdoors, and snow skiing.