Reimagining Love with Dr. Alexandra Solomon

This solo episode is going to explore a fear that many of us carry inside our intimate relationships but rarely say out loud: the fear of settling. What is it? Where does it come from? And most importantly, what does it cost us? Dr. Alexandra will offer you a reframe that is both clarifying and hopeful. We are going to reimagine what acceptance actually means – not as a passive giving-up, but as one of the most powerful and underrated tools available to us in love. 

In this episode, you will hear about:

The cost of comparison and how to shift from external comparison to internal reflection.

How the word “settling” is working against you.

What Acceptance is and is not, and how to determine whether you are acting in the spirit of acceptance or resignation.

How to tend to the grief that is often built into Acceptance.

Grab a pen and paper! Dr. Alexandra has included a writing exercise in this episode, designed to guide you towards acceptance - both of yourself and your partner.

Resources worth mentioning from the episode:

Reimagining Love episodes: Relational Ambivalence: Should I Stay or Should I Go? Part 1 https://dralexandrasolomon.com/podcasts/relational-ambivalence-should-i-stay-or-should-i-go-part-1-rerelease/

Relational Ambivalence: Should I Stay or Should I Go? Part 2 https://dralexandrasolomon.com/podcasts/relational-ambivalence-should-i-stay-or-should-i-go-part-2-rerelease/

Inviting a Reluctant Partner into Relationship Work https://dralexandrasolomon.com/podcasts/inviting-a-reluctant-partner-into-relationship-work-re-release/

“I Think I’ve Outgrown My Relationship!” https://www.dralexandrasolomon.com/podcasts/i-think-ive-outgrown-my-relationship

Is There an “Effort Mismatch” in Your Relationship? https://www.dralexandrasolomon.com/podcasts/is-there-an-effort-mismatch-in-your-relationship

Continue the conversation with Dr. Alexandra Solomon:

Ask a question! Submit your relationship challenge: https://form.jotform.com/212295995939274

Access Resources, like quizzes and courses: https://www.dralexandrasolomon.com/resources

Order Dr. Alexandra’s book, Love Every Day: https://bookshop.org/p/books/love-every-day-365-relational-self-awareness-practices-to-help-your-relationship-heal-grow-and-thrive-alexandra-solomon/19970421?ean=9781683736530

Cultivate connection by subscribing to Dr. Alexandra’s Loving Bravely newsletter: https://newsletter.dralexandrasolomon.com/

Learn more on IG: https://www.instagram.com/dr.alexandra.solomon/

Join Esther Perel's annual clinical conference Sessions Live 2026! Learn in person in Brooklyn, New York or virtually on May 15th and 16th. Use code SOLOMON50 for $50 off a virtual ticket or SOLOMON100 for $100 off in-person. Get your tickets at https://sessionslive2026.estherperel.com/
Learn more about the Options Transition to Independence Program which offers education, vocational, independent living, and emotional support for young adults with complex learning needs. https://www.experienceoptions.org/

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Dr. Alexandra explores the common underfunctioning/overfunctioning dynamic in long-term partnerships. She talks about why many couples fall prey to these roles, including cultural messaging and family-of-origin scripts, and she shares strategies for breaking free from this dance so that the relationship can feel more balanced.

Resources worth mentioning from the episode:

Get the companion worksheet for this episode: www.dralexandrasolomon.com/dynamic

The Family Institute at Northwestern University: https://www.family-institute.org/

Subscribe to Dr. Alexandra’s Newsletter: https://dralexandrasolomon.com/subscribe/

Take Dr. Alexandra's E-Course, Intimate Relationships 101 (use code LOVEPOD for 10% off at checkout) https://courses.dralexandrasolomon.com/intimate-relationships-101

“Overfunctioning and Underfunctioning” by Dr. Will Meek: https://willmeekphd.com/overfunctioning-underfunctioning/

“Women Aren't Nags—We're Just Fed” Up by Gemma Hartley (Harper’s Bazaar, September 2017): https://www.harpersbazaar.com/culture/features/a12063822/emotional-labor-gender-equality/

“I Live With a Woman—We're Not Immune to Emotional Labor: How LGBTQ couples navigate gender roles at home” by Trish Bendix (Harper’s Bazaar, October 2017): https://www.harpersbazaar.com/culture/features/a12779502/emotional-labor-lgbtq-relationships/

Fair Play: A Game-Changing Solution for When You Have Too Much to Do (and More Life to Live) by Eve Rodsky: https://bookshop.org/books/fair-play-a-game-changing-solution-for-when-you-have-too-much-to-do-and-more-life-to-live/9780525541943?gclid=CjwKCAjwyryUBhBSEiwAGN5OCMpPV9pDU8oYDF4N2gccTwdOWo4hb8gHLsp3DfY1sTLi7IrxdD83YxoCGiQQAvD_BwE

Continue the conversation with Dr. Alexandra Solomon:

Ask a question! Submit your relationship challenge: https://form.jotform.com/212295995939274

Access Resources, like quizzes and courses: https://www.dralexandrasolomon.com/resources

Order Dr. Alexandra’s book, Love Every Day: https://bookshop.org/p/books/love-every-day-365-relational-self-awareness-practices-to-help-your-relationship-heal-grow-and-thrive-alexandra-solomon/19970421?ean=9781683736530

Cultivate connection by subscribing to Dr. Alexandra’s Loving Bravely newsletter: https://newsletter.dralexandrasolomon.com/

Learn more on IG: https://www.instagram.com/dr.alexandra.solomon/

Join Esther Perel's annual clinical conference Sessions Live 2026! Learn in person in Brooklyn, New York or virtually on May 15th and 16th. Use code SOLOMON50 for $50 off a virtual ticket or SOLOMON100 for $100 off in-person. Get your tickets at https://sessionslive2026.estherperel.com/
Learn more about the Options Transition to Independence Program which offers education, vocational, independent living, and emotional support for young adults with complex learning needs. https://www.experienceoptions.org/

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Mark Groves and Kylie McBeath join Reimagining Love to share the story of their relationship—the story that inspired their book, Liberated Love: Release Codependent Patterns and Create the Love You Desire. In this conversation, they get vulnerable about how they moved from breaking up to fostering breakthroughs; a journey they nurtured through what they call 'a sacred pause.' In the sacred pause, they identified the patterns that blocked their ability to find authentic love so that they could build a new relationship rooted in safety and interdependence.

Resources worth mentioning from the episode:

Liberated Love: Release Codependent Patterns and Create the Love You Desire by Mark Groves and Kylie McBeath: https://bookshop.org/p/books/liberated-love-release-codependent-patterns-and-create-the-love-you-desire-kylie-mcbeath/40bfe21a1c3c84ad?ean=9781250908957&next=t&

After purchasing Liberated Love, access the PDF Workbook and free Meditation: https://markgroves.com/book

Reimagining Love episode, "My Partner Wants to Take a Break. What's Next?" https://podcasts.apple.com/ca/podcast/my-partner-wants-to-take-a-break-whats-next/id1588419386?i=1000756951793

Continue the conversation with Dr. Alexandra Solomon:

Ask a question! Submit your relationship challenge: https://form.jotform.com/212295995939274

Access Resources, like quizzes and courses: https://www.dralexandrasolomon.com/resources

Order Dr. Alexandra’s book, Love Every Day: https://bookshop.org/p/books/love-every-day-365-relational-self-awareness-practices-to-help-your-relationship-heal-grow-and-thrive-alexandra-solomon/19970421?ean=9781683736530

Cultivate connection by subscribing to Dr. Alexandra’s Loving Bravely newsletter: https://newsletter.dralexandrasolomon.com/

Learn more on IG: https://www.instagram.com/dr.alexandra.solomon/

Join Esther Perel's annual clinical conference Sessions Live 2026! Learn in person in Brooklyn, New York or virtually on May 15th and 16th. Use code SOLOMON50 for $50 off a virtual ticket or SOLOMON100 for $100 off in-person. Get your tickets at https://sessionslive2026.estherperel.com/
Learn more about the Options Transition to Independence Program which offers education, vocational, independent living, and emotional support for young adults with complex learning needs. https://www.experienceoptions.org/

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

In this solo episode, Dr. Alexandra will be exploring the topic of taking a break from your relationship, which was inspired by a listener email. First, she will talk you through some very specific and perhaps surprising reasons that taking a break is so difficult, with the support of some research. Then you will hear Dr. Alexandra’s Seven-Step Best Practices for a structured or therapeutic separation, with consideration for Before, During and After the Break.

Resources worth mentioning from the episode:

The Lived Experience of Ambiguous Marital Separation: A Phenomenological Study: https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC7383873/

“It’s complicated’’: The continuity and correlates of cycling in cohabiting and marital relationships: https://extension.usu.edu/hru/files/Vennum-et-al-2014-Relationship-cycling-and-outcomes.pdf

Establishing links between relationship cycling, relational stress, and well-being: https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/10.1177/02654075251378864

Reimagining Love episode, How to Get Closure After A Breakup - https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/how-to-get-closure-after-a-breakup/id1588419386?i=1000603123829

Reimagining Love episode, Dealing With Breakup Regret - https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/dealing-with-breakup-regret/id1588419386?i=1000604088930

Reimagining Love episode, "I'm Thinking About Getting Back Together With My Ex." (Part One) - https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/im-thinking-about-getting-back-together-with-my-ex-part-one/id1588419386?i=1000607309489

Reimagining Love episode, "I'm Thinking About Getting Back Together With My Ex." (Part Two) - https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/im-thinking-about-getting-back-together-with-my-ex-part-two/id1588419386?i=1000608341518

Reimagining Love episode, Conscious Uncoupling: Divorce as an Ending, Not a Failure with Katherine Woodward Thomas - https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/conscious-uncoupling-divorce-as-an-ending-not/id1588419386?i=1000650466142

Reimagining Love episode, The D Word: An Empowering Approach to Divorce with Kate Anthony - https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-d-word-an-empowering-approach-to-divorce/id1588419386?i=1000642611274

Continue the conversation with Dr. Alexandra Solomon:

Ask a question! Submit your relationship challenge: https://form.jotform.com/212295995939274

Access Resources, like quizzes and courses: https://www.dralexandrasolomon.com/resources

Order Dr. Alexandra’s book, Love Every Day: https://bookshop.org/p/books/love-every-day-365-relational-self-awareness-practices-to-help-your-relationship-heal-grow-and-thrive-alexandra-solomon/19970421?ean=9781683736530

Cultivate connection by subscribing to Dr. Alexandra’s Loving Bravely newsletter: https://newsletter.dralexandrasolomon.com/

Learn more on IG: https://www.instagram.com/dr.alexandra.solomon/

Join Esther Perel's annual clinical conference Sessions Live 2026! Learn in person in Brooklyn, New York or virtually on May 15th and 16th. Use code SOLOMON50 for $50 off a virtual ticket or SOLOMON100 for $100 off in-person. Get your tickets at https://sessionslive2026.estherperel.com/
Learn more about the Options Transition to Independence Program which offers education, vocational, independent living, and emotional support for young adults with complex learning needs. https://www.experienceoptions.org/

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Here’s a bonus episode for you with Dr. Alexandra guesting on The Sober Mom Life to chat with Suzanne Warye about intimate partnerships, particularly what happens in a relationship when one partner gets sober. In this conversation, Dr. Alexandra talks about how the tools of Relational Self-Awareness can be brought to navigating transitions, growing both individually and together in a relationship, resourcing different kinds of intimacy from within our marriage and outside of it, seeking couple therapy, taking Your Sexy back (especially soberly), and creating moments of appreciation to strengthen your relationship. 

Resources worth mentioning from the episode:

Reimagining Love episode, Shifting to Sobriety: Quitting Drinking, Self-Compassion, and Evolving Together with Suzanne & Russell Warye: https://podcasts.apple.com/au/podcast/shifting-to-sobriety-quitting-drinking-self-compassion/id1588419386?i=1000743944736

Continue the conversation with Dr. Alexandra Solomon:

Ask a question! Submit your relationship challenge: https://form.jotform.com/212295995939274

Access Resources, like quizzes and courses: https://www.dralexandrasolomon.com/resources

Order Dr. Alexandra’s book, Love Every Day: https://bookshop.org/p/books/love-every-day-365-relational-self-awareness-practices-to-help-your-relationship-heal-grow-and-thrive-alexandra-solomon/19970421?ean=9781683736530

Cultivate connection by subscribing to Dr. Alexandra’s Loving Bravely newsletter: https://newsletter.dralexandrasolomon.com/

Learn more on IG: https://www.instagram.com/dr.alexandra.solomon/

Join Esther Perel's annual clinical conference Sessions Live 2026! Learn in person in Brooklyn, New York or virtually on May 15th and 16th. Use code SOLOMON50 for $50 off a virtual ticket or SOLOMON100 for $100 off in-person. Get your tickets at https://sessionslive2026.estherperel.com/
Learn more about the Options Transition to Independence Program which offers education, vocational, independent living, and emotional support for young adults with complex learning needs. https://www.experienceoptions.org/

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.