Reimagining Love with Dr. Alexandra Solomon

In our modern world, we have seen a remarkable increase in anxiety and depression in people, particularly among young people, not to mention the loneliness epidemic, burnout, and stress, all of which greatly impact our sense of well-being and our ability to connect with each other. Dr. Alexandra is joined by the award-winning journalist and bestselling author, Jennifer B. Wallace, whose latest book Mattering: The Secret to Building a Life of Deep Connection and Purpose makes the case for why feeling like we matter is essential to our well-being and how prioritizing this need is a remedy to our modern mental health dilemmas. 
In this conversation, you will hear about:
some of the stories Jennie came across while researching her new book that demonstrate why mattering, well, matters. 
simple practices that folks have integrated into their daily lives to develop a sense of mattering in themselves, and to convey to others that they matter to them. 
the aspects of our culture that impact our sense of mattering and how we can respond, counterculturally, with actions that protect our “mattering core”, as Jennie calls it.
Jennie’s thoughts on flake culture (our normalization of bailing on plans) and how it harms our own sense of mattering, as well as harms those around us. 
Resources worth mentioning from the episode:
Mattering: The Secret to Building a Life of Deep Connection and Purpose by Jennifer Breheny Wallace: https://bookshop.org/p/books/mattering-the-secret-to-a-life-of-deep-connection-and-purpose-jennifer-breheny-wallace/157a47e2699950cb?ean=9780593850596&next=t
Jennifer B. Wallace’s IG: https://www.instagram.com/jenniferbrehenywallace/?hl=en
Jennifer B. Wallace’s Newsletter: https://www.jenniferbwallace.com/newsletter
Derek Thompson’s Substack article: https://www.derekthompson.org/p/whose-cup-are-you-filling
Continue the conversation with Dr. Alexandra Solomon:
Ask a question! Submit your relationship challenge: https://form.jotform.com/212295995939274
Order Dr. Alexandra’s book, Love Every Day: https://bookshop.org/p/books/love-every-day-365-relational-self-awareness-practices-to-help-your-relationship-heal-grow-and-thrive-alexandra-solomon/19970421?ean=9781683736530
Cultivate connection by subscribing to Dr. Alexandra’s Loving Bravely newsletter: https://newsletter.dralexandrasolomon.com/
Learn more on IG: https://www.instagram.com/dr.alexandra.solomon/

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

You may be surprised to hear that billionaires get divorced at roughly the same rate as the general population, which demonstrates that no amount of money protects couples from the tension that can arise when finances are at play. Dr. Alexandra often says that money is a tricky topic because at one level, it is very concrete – dollars and cents, spending and saving. But at another level, the topic of money evokes deep and meaningful questions about our core beliefs, our sense of identity, our desires, and our insecurities. To help us explore all of this, Dr. Alexandra is joined by financial-planning power couple Douglas and Heather Boneparth. 
You will hear them talk about:
why money continues to be a source of tension for couples, even after couples become objectively successful. 
“financial infidelity”, the role shame plays with it, and the Boneparths’ case for financial transparency in your relationship. 
how to get past the tangible, more surface-level topics around money to curiously dig deeper and explore why you and your partner feel the way you do about money (and spoiler alert: that story started being written long long ago!). 
how to approach prenups.
Resources worth mentioning from the episode:
Money Together: How to find fairness in your relationship and become an unstoppable financial team by Heather and Douglas Boneparth https://bookshop.org/p/books/money-together-how-to-find-fairness-in-your-relationship-and-become-an-unstoppable-financial-team-douglas-boneparth/273465fcc086fc3d
Subscribe to The Joint Account newsletter: https://www.readthejointaccount.com/
Learn more about The Boneparths: https://domoneytogether.com/
Continue the conversation with Dr. Alexandra Solomon:
Ask a question! Submit your relationship challenge: https://form.jotform.com/212295995939274
Order Dr. Alexandra’s book, Love Every Day: https://bookshop.org/p/books/love-every-day-365-relational-self-awareness-practices-to-help-your-relationship-heal-grow-and-thrive-alexandra-solomon/19970421?ean=9781683736530
Cultivate connection by subscribing to Dr. Alexandra’s Loving Bravely newsletter: https://newsletter.dralexandrasolomon.com/
Learn more on IG: https://www.instagram.com/dr.alexandra.solomon/

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Dr. Alexandra is joined by sobriety influencer, podcast host, and author, Suzanne Warye, and her husband, Russell Warye, to talk about the role alcohol played for them at various stages of their lives and their respective journeys towards sobriety. You’ll hear them talk about the trouble with approaching alcohol with moderation, how shame becomes entwined with alcohol use, and how sobriety clears the landing for self-compassion and worthiness. Throughout, they discuss how their sobriety journeys impacted their relationship, both when Suzanne pursued sobriety first and then years later, when Russell followed suit. 
Resources worth mentioning from the episode:
The Sober Shift by Suzanne Warye: https://bookshop.org/p/books/the-sober-shift-a-modern-day-guide-to-living-an-abundant-sober-life-suzanne-warye/016d6eef4f5d0831?ean=9780063437616&next=t
Suzanne Warye’s Podcast The Sober Mom Life, When Your Partner Stops Drinking (With My Husband!) https://thesobermomlife.com/2024/07/22/when-your-partner-stops-drinking/
Suzanne Warye’s Podcast The Sober Mom Life, How Sobriety Affects Your Relationship: https://thesobermomlife.com/2022/08/22/how-sobriety-affects-your-relationship/
Learn more about Suzanne Warye: https://mykindofsweet.com/about-suzanne/
Reimagining Love episode, “I Think I’ve Outgrown My Relationship!”: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/i-think-ive-outgrown-my-relationship/id1588419386?i=1000739258061
Thriving Through the Holiday Chaos on MasterClass: http://masterclass.com/holidays
Continue the conversation with Dr. Alexandra Solomon:
Ask a question! Submit your relationship challenge: https://form.jotform.com/212295995939274
Order Dr. Alexandra’s book, Love Every Day: https://bookshop.org/p/books/love-every-day-365-relational-self-awareness-practices-to-help-your-relationship-heal-grow-and-thrive-alexandra-solomon/19970421?ean=9781683736530
Cultivate connection by subscribing to Dr. Alexandra’s newsletter: https://www.dralexandrasolomon.com/
Learn more on IG: https://www.instagram.com/dr.alexandra.solomon/

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

This is our 200th episode of Reimagining Love! And to celebrate, Dr. Alexandra is in-studio with her husband, Todd, to answer your questions. They cover topics such as emotional interdependency versus codependency, infidelity and avoidant attachment, resentment in a marriage, identifying needs in a situationship, and navigating grief and identity formation after divorce.
Thank you so much for submitting your listener questions! Even when they are not selected for these Mailbag-type episodes, they continually inform our content.
We love to hear from you! Submit a Listener Question here:
https://form.jotform.com/212295995939274
Watch the In-studio conversation on YouTube: https://youtu.be/whTJXMovXrM?si=o_tuVN-KLXA-O1sg&t=7
Resources worth mentioning from the episode:
Thriving Through the Holiday Chaos on MasterClass: http://masterclass.com/holidays
For Question 2 (infidelity + avoidant attachment) -
Dr. Alexandra’s E-Course  - Can I Trust You Again? (rebuilding after betrayal or deceit) https://courses.dralexandrasolomon.com/can-i-trust-you-again-rebuilding-after-betrayal-or-deceit
Reimagining Love episode, When You’re the Affair Partner https://dralexandrasolomon.com/podcasts/when-youre-the-affair-partner/
Reimagining Love Episodes on Attachment:
Jessica Baum (releasing in February 2026)
From the Inside Out: Attachment Theory & Mindful Parenting with Dr. Dan Siegel: https://dralexandrasolomon.com/podcasts/from-the-inside-out-attachment-theory-mindful-parenting-with-dr-dan-siegel/
Exploring Attachment: Transform Your Relationship Patterns with Thais Gibson: https://dralexandrasolomon.com/podcasts/exploring-attachment-transform-your-relationship-patterns/
Secure Attachments: The Felt Sense of Love with Julie Menanno: https://dralexandrasolomon.com/podcasts/secure-attachments-the-felt-sense-of-love-with-julie-menanno/
For Question 3 (resentment in marriage) -
Reimagining Love episode, My 9 Favorite Resentment-Busting Strategies https://dralexandrasolomon.com/podcasts/my-9-favorite-resentment-busting-strategies/
Reimagining Love episode, When Shame Blocks Repair https://dralexandrasolomon.com/podcasts/when-shame-blocks-repair/
For Question 4 (identifying needs in situationship) -
Reimagining Love episode, Is Your “Situationship” Working? https://dralexandrasolomon.com/podcasts/is-your-situationship-working/
Dr. Alexandra’s E-Course - Intimate Relationships 101: https://courses.dralexandrasolomon.com/offers/Q7LEbtEX/checkout
For Question 5 (navigating grief and identity formation after divorce) -
Reimagining Love episode, Guidance for the Newly Single: 5 Strategies for Stability and Healing https://dralexandrasolomon.com/podcasts/guidance-for-the-newly-single/
Continue the conversation with Dr. Alexandra Solomon:
Ask a question! Submit your relationship challenge: https://form.jotform.com/212295995939274
Order Dr. Alexandra’s book, Love Every Day: https://bookshop.org/p/books/love-every-day-365-relational-self-awareness-practices-to-help-your-relationship-heal-grow-and-thrive-alexandra-solomon/19970421?ean=9781683736530
Cultivate connection by subscribing to Dr. Alexandra’s newsletter: https://dralexandrasolomon.com/subscribe/
Learn from Dr. Alexandra (E-courses: Intimate Relationships 101 or Can I Trust You Again?): https://dralexandrasolomon.com/learn-from-alexandra/
Learn more on IG: https://www.instagram.com/dr.alexandra.solomon/

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

This conversation revolves around the nervous system and its impact on the way that we connect. Dr. Alexandra is joined by Deb Dana, the leading translator of Dr. Stephen Porges’ scientific work on Polyvagal Theory to the public and mental health professionals. As just one example of her huge impact, a term she coined, glimmers, has gone viral on TikTok. 
You’ll hear Deb take us through Polyvagal Theory, explaining the three principles of neuroception, hierarchy of response, and coregulation. You’ll learn about the states our nervous systems go between - how those states feel and the types of thoughts and sensations that go alongside each state. You will learn that our ability to connect with the people around us is dictated by our biology. It’s not cognitive. And it’s certainly not random. 
 Through the lens of Polyvagal Theory, helping our nervous systems and the nervous systems around us feel safe becomes the goal, and you’ll learn how that perspective has shaped Deb Dana’s life and how it can shift how you approach your relationships, as well. And of course, you’ll hear about glimmers, including how to integrate a simple glimmer practice into your routine, in order to further help the nervous system feel safe and primed for connection, curiosity, and creativity.
Resources worth mentioning from the episode:
Read Deb Dana’s “A Beginner’s Guide to Polyvagal Theory”: https://dralexandrasolomon.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/12/Beginners-Guide-Presentations-1.pdf
Learn more about Deb Dana and her work: https://www.rhythmofregulation.com/
Anchored: How to Befriend Your Nervous System Using Polyvagal Theory by Deb Dana: https://bookshop.org/p/books/anchored-how-to-befriend-your-nervous-system-using-polyvagal-theory-deb-dana-lcsw/2dcb315349927ae6
Continue the conversation with Dr. Alexandra Solomon:
Ask a question! Submit your relationship challenge: https://form.jotform.com/212295995939274
Order Dr. Alexandra’s book, Love Every Day: https://bookshop.org/p/books/love-every-day-365-relational-self-awareness-practices-to-help-your-relationship-heal-grow-and-thrive-alexandra-solomon/19970421?ean=9781683736530
Cultivate connection by subscribing to Dr. Alexandra’s newsletter: https://dralexandrasolomon.com/subscribe/
Learn from Dr. Alexandra (E-courses: Intimate Relationships 101 or Can I Trust You Again?): https://dralexandrasolomon.com/learn-from-alexandra/
Learn more on IG: https://www.instagram.com/dr.alexandra.solomon/

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.