Decoding the Gurus

Part Two of our Candace Owens decoding offers a generous case study in conspiratorial thinking. The necklace in the footage of Charlie Kirk’s murder may have moved before his jacket, a photograph of Tyler Robinson in front of a Man of Steel poster also raises questions about why Erika Kirk used the phrase about Charlie’s neck, not to mention that one of the early suspects also lived in New York during 9/11... all of it just makes you think... who is actually running things?
One possibility could be Erika Kirk. Not that she is the mastermind (that, as always, is occult Jewish satanists), but rather that she might be a sociopath that dark energy is being temporarily channelled into. Candace asks why Erika returned to work so quickly, muses over how Candace's connection to Charlie was deeper and more spiritually potent, and ponders if she was the only person who really truly cared about Charlie. But don’t worry, Shawn Ryan is there with his trademark scepticism to offer pushback, like “wow” and “holy shit, that’s incredible”. Trump, meanwhile, has apparently sold his soul to Israel, though JD Vance may still be redeemable. Then Freud turns up, accused of inventing modern gaslighting and covering for satanic murders.
Candace, as you might imagine, has her own place in the story. Charlie apparently knew she would inherit the fight after his death (which he had psychically foreseen), and Candace has indeed felt a spiritual awakening since. It’s a good thing then that she is so sensitive to others engaged in religious/spiritual grifting.
As per Part One, this is ultimately a tour de force in conspiracy theorising and guru dynamics. And yet, remarkably, Candace still manages to come across as interpersonally likeable and even endearing. Which perhaps explains part of her popularity. Even still, with this episode we are (hopefully) done with four-hour Candace interviews.
Also be forewarned that this episode contains an extended shoutout section; the Candace decoding ends at 1:41:02. We work through a backlog of listener shoutouts that we have neglected for long enough to turn them into a second podcast. If you would rather skip that entirely, jump to 2:25:56 for the brief sign-off. Complaints about the length/shoutouts will be referred to this paragraph. Thank you for your attention to this matter.
Source material
Shawn Ryan Show #318: Candace Owens, “I Don’t Believe Tyler Robinson Was Even There”
Jeffrey Moussaieff Masson, The Assault on Truth: Freud’s Suppression of the Seduction Theory (the book Candace invokes during the Freud segment)
Rate the gurus yourself on the Gurometer

Candace Owens is just a Catholic, a mother, and a wife. She loves her husband, works hard, and tries not to let internet drama disturb her spiritual peace. She also has just a few questions about the international satanic conspiracy behind Charlie Kirk’s ritual murder.
We join Candace during her appearance on the Shawn Ryan Show, where an impressive amount of time is devoted to establishing how lovely they both find each other. There are the usual fond memories of dinner, a husband who is a James Bond lookalike, and a series of fascinating career adventures, including how Candace rose to be vice president of administration in just 4 years! She even got to experience the damaging effects of toxic mould before it was fashionable (and don't worry, it was cured with a restrictive diet!).
Candace is like a one-woman crash course in conspiratorial ideation and how conspiracy theorists interact with other conspiracy theorists and conflicting evidence. But, to be fair, she is also very good at what she does! Coming across as a charismatic and composed speaker who makes very ugly claims sound like an entirely reasonable conversation.
But then there are the questions... Why do witnesses remember different things? Why was ten inches of soil removed rather than eight? Did Charlie Kirk's necklace move before his jacket? But that's just the start; as is often the case we end up talking about Rothschilds, Freemasons, Denmons, and a public demonic ritual intended to channel spiritual energy into a surprising target. Shawn Ryan, who assures us repeatedly that he is an extremely sceptical person, is astonished at what he hears!
And there's more to come too... in Part 2.
Source material
Shawn Ryan Show #318: Candace Owens, “I Don’t Believe Tyler Robinson Was Even There”
Candace Owens vs Andrew Wilson: The Great Debate
Shawn Ryan Show #254: Brian Harpole, Charlie Kirk’s head of security
60 Minutes: The Pager Plot
DarkHorse: “Was Charlie Kirk Killed With a Drone?” with Viva Frei and Jimmy Dore
Candace, episode 349: Corey Comperatore, Mark Liti, and the PETN claims
Brian Harpole’s complaint against Candace Owens and others, filed 30 April 2026 (plaintiff’s allegations, not court findings)
Clare Malone, The New Yorker: “The Gospel of Candace Owens”
Jesse Singal, New York: reporting on Social Autopsy and Gamergate
Mariel Padilla, The 19th, via Capital B: “Candace Owens Has Won the Trust These Women Refuse to Give Politicians”
Samantha Putterman, PolitiFact: Charlie Kirk conspiracy claims, one year later

The rumours of the Gurometer's demise have been greatly exaggerated. We were simply collecting enough gurus to feed three into the sacred instrument at once. In this special Triple Threat edition, Professor Jiang brings angel-informed psychohistory, Jimmy Carr brings a head full of dubious historical factoids, and Mel Robbins just desperately wants to help you (for a price). Three potential gurus, eleven characteristics, and a brief disagreement over the nature of data. Let the highly rigorous scoring commence!
Also... think you can do better? Rate Jiang, Mel, Jimmy, or any of the other gurus on our online Gurometer and compare your scores with ours. Ideally, do it before listening, lest Matt declare your numbers inadmissible.
https://decoding-the-gurus-gurometer.netlify.app/

Two academic windbags attempt brief discussions of the controversy at Nature, Bret’s newest conspiracy theory, and the latest vibe sessions in Podcastistan. It goes about as well as expected.
The full episode is available to Patreon subscribers (1hr 18mins).
Join us at: https://www.patreon.com/DecodingTheGurus
Supplementary Material 55
00:00 Introduction: Science by Podcast
04:04 Nature Joins the Arday Discourse Wave
09:28 Activism and Science
14:40 Academic Prestige Bias
19:08 The Business of Academic Publishing
23:43 Sasha Gusev Being Sensible and Culture War Brainrot
29:04 Bret Weinstein and Jimmy Dore Investigate Charlie Kirk’s Death
36:13 Anomaly Hunting
42:27 Science Washing
45:00 Conspiracy Discrimination and Reasoning Ability
53:46 Academic Debate Norms
59:16 Chris Williamson Promotes Professor Jiang
01:01:01 Vibing Out in Podcast Panels: Hunter Biden x Nick Fuentes
01:05:49 Dave Rubin and Andrew Gold Discuss Political Tribalism
01:08:25 Heterodoxy in 2026: Zaid Jilani on Michael Tracey
01:12:52 Hitler Was a Human and Had Motivations
01:16:33 Outro
Links
Nature: The death of Jason Arday must prompt deep reflection
Stuart Ritchie’s response to the Nature editorial
Matthew Yglesias: Academia is cooked
Sasha Gusev’s response to Matthew Yglesias
Nature’s research and magazine editorial teams
DarkHorse: Was Charlie Kirk Killed With a Drone? Viva Frei and Jimmy Dore
Robson, S. G., Martire, K. A., Pearson, S., Cosgrove, T. J., Jetten, J., Faasse, K., & Hornsey, M. J. (2026). Rejecting conspiracies doesn't necessarily mean that you're smart: The relationship between conspiracy discrimination and reasoning ability. British Journal of Social Psychology, 65(4), e70117.
Modern Wisdom: WW3 DEBATE: “We’re On the Brink of Global Collapse”
Mostly Wise #2: Hunter Biden, Matt McCusker & Duncan Trussell
Channel 5: Nick Fuentes Interview (Ft. Hunter Biden)
I Think You Should Leave: Hot Dog Car Sketch
The Rubin Report: If This Isn’t Stopped, UK’s Fall Is Irreversible | Andrew Gold
Zaid Jilani on Michael Tracey’s contrarianism
Zaid Jilani’s World War II follow-up
Adam Tooze: The Wages of Destruction
Darryl Cooper’s introduction and foreword to Thomas Cyr’s World War II revisionist book
Next on Decoding Academia: Your Brain Is Not an Onion With a Tiny Reptile Inside

In Part Two of our decoding of Mel Robbins, things take a practical turn. But before we get to preoccupied with all that, why don't you pause, take a breath, and, in the context of your body, write down ten ways to make a bad situation worse. Your focus should then be on doing the exact opposite! For example, if one of your answers is to not listen to the podcast, then start listening, right now!
Next, before hitting play, let's work on building a daily manifestation practice. Write down five things you want, then sit in your body, picture yourself doing all the annoying steps, and flood yourself with the feelings of future success. This needs to happen every day.
One more thing: now imagine someone who is one million per cent behind you and ask them what is the best way for you to consume the podcast. They can be alive, dead, or fictional. Greek messenger Gods are permitted. You can even imagine your mother, if you like, but better. Alternatively, why not meet your future self at the front door and ask how listening to the podcast helped them to become so wise, slim, and successful?
There are other options too. You can manifest a legion of ancestors, reconfigure a difficult afternoon by getting sushi, and even transcend the limits of possibility with an elephant murder themed visualization!

You might think this sounds a bit like (too much) planning, mental rehearsal, and just trying to be a bit more positive. But it's much more than that. These mental activities are actually powered by very hard science. Ignore the tiny samples, one-tailed tests, and suspicious p-values... that all sounds like negative thinking.
And now you are finally prepared so choose your technique, release the brake, and visualise the download button. Your future self is waiting. They have a cool scar and some bad news about your future children.
Links
The Mel Robbins Podcast: “World Leading Psychologist: How to Manifest Anything & Create the Life You Want” with Dr Cassandra Vieten
Cassandra Vieten: Imagine That: Transform How You Think, Feel, and Live with the Science of Imagination
Institute of Noetic Sciences: Origins Story
Hershfield, H. E., Goldstein, D. G., Sharpe, W. F., Fox, J., Yeykelis, L., Carstensen, L. L., & Bailenson, J. N. (2011). Increasing saving behavior through age-progressed renderings of the future self. Journal of marketing research, 48(SPL), S23-S37. https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC3949005/
Robalino, J. D., Fishbane, A., Goldstein, D. G., & Hershfield, H. E. (2023). Saving for retirement: A real-world test of whether seeing photos of one’s future self encourages contributions. Behavioral Science & Policy, 9(1), 1-9. https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/10.1177/23794607231190607