Mid-life Men: the mental health podcast

In this episode, we talk to Mordy Gottlieb, a men’s therapist whose work - and life - has been shaped by one quiet, corrosive belief: “Whatever I do, it’s never enough.”Mordy shares how perfection became his survival strategy as a child and how striving without self-compassion led to years of numbing, self-criticism, and chasing relief through behaviours that slowly escalated rather than resolved the pain.What makes this conversation different is its honesty about how these patterns actually form, starting with food, moving into pornography and other forms of escape, and eventually colliding with midlife reality when effort stops working, and avoidance stops providing relief.Rather than framing men’s behaviours as addictions or failures, Mordy explains them as attempts to regulate unbearable internal pressure and why insight alone rarely changes anything. The real shift, he argues, comes through experience, practice, and safe connection, especially with other men.This episode also challenges some uncomfortable truths: why being “strong” often means being emotionally absent, why vulnerability isn’t just talking, and why many men feel unseen even inside long-term relationships they’ve spent years sustaining.In this episode, you’ll hear about:How the belief “I’m never enough” gets wired into boys early onWhy perfectionism feels productive but leads to exhaustion and shameHow numbing behaviours escalate quietly over timeWhy midlife is often the moment men can’t outrun themselves anymoreThe limits of talk therapy and why knowing why isn’t the same as changingHow experiential therapy helps men rehearse real-world changeWhy men often heal faster in groups than one-to-oneWhat vulnerability actually looks like in daily life (including learning to say no)Small, realistic ways to introduce play, presence, and self-permission back into lifeWhy this episode matters: Because if you’ve ever felt that no matter how much you give  - at work, at home, in relationships - it’s still not enough, this conversation will feel uncomfortably familiar. Mordy doesn’t offer fixes or slogans. He offers language for something many men have lived with for decades without naming.To find out more Mordy, visit his website: www.thegamechangergroup.com.  

What happens to a man when he loses his father and no one shows him how to grieve?In this honest, darkly funny, and deeply human conversation, we hear from John Colbert, a writer and former advertising creative who turned the loss of his father to prostate cancer into Damaged Goods, a memoir made up of short, sharply observed stories about grief, masculinity, mental health, and what happens long after the funeral ends.John was just 20 when his father died after a six-year illness. What followed was a period of profound depression, emotional shutdown, and learning - painfully - that men are rarely taught how to process loss. In a culture that rewards silence and “being strong,” John found himself unable to talk about what he was feeling, even in therapy, until things reached a breaking point.What makes this episode powerful is John’s willingness to speak plainly about what many men experience but rarely admit: the loneliness after the support fades, the quiet house, the first Christmas without a parent, the guilt, the anger, and the long shadow grief can cast across identity, relationships, and adulthood.Rather than avoiding the darkness, John meets it with humour; not to trivialise loss, but to survive it. His writing and perspective show how laughter, honesty, and connection can unlock conversations that grief shuts down.In this episode, you’ll hear about:Why many men are never taught how to grieve, and the cost of burying itHow losing a parent can force an early and painful “arrival” into adulthoodDepression, suicidal thoughts, and the moment therapy finally began to workWhy humour can be a powerful survival tool in griefHow grief reshapes identity, relationships, and masculinity over decadesThe long tail of loss and why it doesn’t end after the funeralWhy connection, not isolation, is what actually helps men healThe importance of men’s health awareness, prostate checks, and breaking taboosWhat midlife men can do if they’re carrying unprocessed grief right nowWhy you should listen: Because if you’ve lost a parent - recently or years ago - and quietly carried on, this episode will feel uncomfortably familiar. John puts words to experiences many men recognise but rarely voice, offering permission to laugh, talk, remember, and connect without shame.This is not an episode about “getting over” grief. It’s about living with it honestly, imperfectly, and with other people around you.If you want to find out more about John, visit his website https://www.itscolbert.com, and his book Damaged Goods is available on Amazon, Barnes and Noble, and through other online retailers.  

What do you do when you look in the mirror and no longer recognise the man staring back? When the weight you’re carrying - physically and mentally - feels impossible to shift?In this powerful and frank conversation, we speak with Jonathan Boulware, a man who went from years of obesity, shame, and hopelessness to completely transforming his life, but not through fad diets or quick fixes, but by rebuilding his mindset, his habits, and his sense of self.Jonathan shares the story of losing his mother to obesity, the moment he realised his own health was spiralling, and the emotional breaking point where he decided something had to change. What he discovered wasn’t a perfect fitness plan; it was a deeper truth: the body follows the mind.His journey led him to become a certified personal trainer, health coach, behavioural change specialist, and author. But what makes his voice essential is his lived experience, knowing exactly what it feels like to be overwhelmed, ashamed, stuck, and convinced that change is impossible.In this episode, you’ll learn:Why the real battle isn’t losing weight, it’s rebuilding your belief in yourself.How hopelessness develops, and how to break out of it.Jonathan’s approach to self-compassion, identity, and sustainable change.Why motivation isn’t the answer, and what actually keeps you going.How to set goals that fit into real life, with work, kids, stress, and pressure.What to do when you fall off the wagon and how to get back on track without shame.Why community and the right support matter more than willpower.The truth about weight-loss drugs and why lasting change still depends on mindset.Why listen: Because so many men live in silence with the same feelings Jonathan describes: failure, frustration, shame, and the belief that it’s too late. His story proves it isn’t. This conversation is about more than weight, it’s about taking back control, rebuilding confidence, and remembering that you are capable of far more than you think.If you want to find out more about Jonathan, his work, and his book Take Control of Your Body (Before It Takes Control of You), visit his website: https://www.youcanbeatobesity.com.

In this episode, I’m joined by Dr. Brian Livesay, a trauma therapist and Director of Clinical Research at Arise Alliance, and we explore how men can heal from unspoken trauma, not by suppressing or avoiding it, but by facing it differently.Drawing from his personal story of loss, military service, and years working with veterans and first responders, Brian introduces a groundbreaking approach to healing called Critical Memory Integration (CMI). It’s a way of helping people re-engage with their most painful memories from a place of safety, strength, and agency, transforming how those experiences live within them.We unpack why so many men stay silent about pain, how disconnection shows up in everyday life, and what it really means to face your demons, without being destroyed by them.You’ll learn:Why men often disconnect emotionally and how it affects relationships, work, and health.What Critical Memory Integration is and how it helps rewire trauma at its source.How unprocessed memories show up as anger, anxiety, or emotional shutdown.Why facing pain is a path to strength, not weakness.Practical first steps to reconnect with yourself and others, even when you feel stuck.Why listen: If you’ve ever felt haunted by something you can’t quite name or sensed that your emotions are running the show, this episode offers a roadmap back to calm, clarity, and connection. Brian’s insight bridges science, story, and soul, reminding us that courage isn’t the absence of pain, it’s learning how to walk through it.If you want to find out more about Brian and his work with Critical Memory Intergration, visit the Arise Alliance website. 

What happens when the work stops, the job title is no longer relevant, and the role that defined you disappears?In this episode, Nick Shelton tells the story so many midlife men silently live: achieving everything you thought you wanted… only to find yourself fading, drifting, or feeling strangely empty once the structure and purpose of working life falls away.Nick retired young, thinking it would feel like freedom. Instead, it felt like slowly disappearing, like waking up one day and realising the man you were has nowhere to go and nothing to do. This episode is about what happens next.It’s about not losing yourself when life changes and about the courage it takes to create a second life, one built on meaning, curiosity, relationships, and identity, not just achievement.Most importantly, it’s about the truth midlife men rarely hear: you’re allowed to reinvent yourself. You’re allowed to want something different. You don’t have to stay who you’ve always been.What You’ll LearnWhy so many men feel lost after retirement or a career shift, and why no one talks about it.How identity becomes wrapped around work, status, and achievement. often without us noticing.The emotional crash that happens when the job ends, even when it’s a choice.Why “freedom” can feel frightening or empty if you don’t have a new purpose.Nick’s practical “Reset Button” framework for reinventing yourself step by step.How to rediscover passions, confidence, and agency after years of routine.Why you don’t have to keep doing the same job just because you’ve always done it.The difference between finding your purpose and revealing it.How to move from the achievement phase of life to the impact, connection, and meaning phase.Why you are never too old to start again, and why reinvention is an option at any age.Why Men Should ListenBecause Nick’s story answers the midlife question men avoid the most: “If I’m not my job anymore… who am I?”Whether you’re thinking about retirement, feeling stuck in the same role, quietly burning out, or just sensing that life is shifting beneath your feet, Nick puts words to the feelings men rarely voice:“I thought I’d be happy, but I felt like I was disappearing.”“Everyone thought I was fine, but I wasn’t.”“No one taught us how to start again.”His honesty is the bridge that helps men realise they’re not alone, not weak, and not broken; they’re just at a crossroads no one prepared them for.This episode permits men to rethink everything: career, identity, purpose, direction, and even the shape of their everyday lives. And it offers a practical system for stepping into a life that actually fits who they are now, not who they used to be.Nick brings humour, honesty, and humility to a conversation many men desperately need but rarely have.His story is your story just told aloud.If you want to find out more about Nick and his work, visit his website: resettheman.com, and you can also find him on LinkedIn as Nick Shelton.His book, “An Introvert's Guide to World Domination,” is available to buy on Amazon and through other online retailers.