The Modern Manager

Most managers think their job is to have the answers.
But the managers who create the strongest teams often do the opposite: they ask better questions.
The challenge is that under pressure, most of us default to fixing, advising, and jumping in with solutions. And while that may feel efficient in the moment, it can unintentionally shut down ownership, confidence, and independent thinking on our teams.
Fortunately, this week’s guests explain why coaching doesn’t have to mean hour-long development conversations or formal mentoring sessions. Instead, they share how small “coachable moments” in everyday work conversations can transform the way people think, learn, and perform.
Laura Ashley-Timms and Dominic Ashley-Timms are leadership experts, executive coaches, and authors of The Answer Is A Question. Their work focuses on helping managers use operational coaching techniques to develop more confident, capable, and engaged teams through the power of purposeful inquiry.

In this conversation, we explore how to identify coachable moments, the kinds of questions that build confidence and critical thinking, and why managers who stop rushing to provide answers often unlock far greater performance from their teams.

Conversation Topics
(00:00) Introduction
(02:14) Why managers default to giving answers instead of coaching
(05:27) What makes a moment “coachable”
(08:43) How operational coaching builds confidence and ownership
(12:08) The difference between helpful questions and advice disguised as questions
(14:31) The Ques-Gen framework for asking better questions
(18:21) How purposeful inquiry creates new insights and learning
(19:27) Questions that unintentionally shut people down
(22:20) How to share your ideas without dominating the conversation
(24:38) The leadership shift from problem-solver to talent developer
(30:10) [Extended Episode Only] How to decide if a situation is truly coachable
(33:36) [Extended Episode Only] Why small coaching moments create long-term team growth
(35:17) [Extended Episode Only] The growing pressure managers face today
(37:24) [Extended Episode Only] Why “accidental managers” are burning out
(38:56) [Extended Episode Only] Reframing management as enabling others to succeed

📚 Additional Resources:

✨ Get the extended episode by joining The Modern Manager Podcast+ Community for just $15 per month

✨ Read the full transcript: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1nDydcM3ozLY1UtVNN7O0AqMJr1rs5JkuWe8KDq6EdQE/edit?usp=sharing 
 
✨Follow me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/leadershipwithmamie/ 

✨Visit my website for more: https://www.mamieks.com/ 

✨Upskill your team: https://themodernmanager.com/replaybundle 

✨ Subscribe to my YouTube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC7jhYz8b16g1SsLia4EhO5w?sub_confirmation=1 

Keep up with Laura Ashley-Timms and Dominic Ashley-Timms
- Connect with Laura on LinkedIn: https://uk.linkedin.com/in/laura-ashley-timms
- Connect with Dominic on LinkedIn: https://uk.linkedin.com/in/dominic-ashley-timms
- Listen to the STAR® Manager Podcast: https://STARmanager.global/podcast
- Check out their book The Answer Is A Question: https://www.amazon.com/Answer-Question-Superpower-Everything-Transform/dp/0117093912

Guest Bonus: 10 Free Audiobooks of The Answer is A Question

This book provides a step-by-step walk-through of their ground-breaking STAR® model. Packed with invaluable insights, examples, and mini-missions, you’ll learn precisely how to make some immediate changes that will yield fast and exciting results and revolutionise how you manage forever.

The first 10 members to sign up will receive the audiobook.
To get this bonus and many other member benefits, become a member of The Modern Manager Podcast+ Community.
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The Modern Manager is a leadership podcast for rockstar managers who want to create a working environment where people thrive, and great work gets done.

Follow The Modern Manager on your favorite podcast platform so you won’t miss an episode!

#LeadershipDevelopment #ManagementSkills #CoachingSkills #PeopleManagement #LeadershipCommunication #ManagerTips #WorkplaceLeadership #EmotionalIntelligence #TeamLeadership #CoachingConversations #ManagerTraining #FutureOfWork #LeadershipGrowth #EmployeeDevelopment #OperationalCoaching

Most managers think difficult feedback conversations are hard because they don’t know what to say.

But often the real problem is that the conversation they’re preparing for is the wrong one.

In this episode, I break down why feedback conversations become so emotionally exhausting, why managers keep delaying them, and how unclear expectations quietly damage trust long before feedback is ever delivered.

You’ll learn why feedback only works when there’s a shared understanding of standards first, how to shift from a “feedback conversation” to a “clarity conversation,” and four practical moves that make difficult conversations more productive and less emotionally charged.

In the extended version, I also explore what to do when the conversation still doesn’t work, how to identify whether the real issue is clarity, capability, motivation, or systems constraints, and why repeating the same conversation louder rarely fixes the problem.

By the end of this episode, you’ll have a practical framework for approaching difficult conversations with more clarity, less avoidance, and a much better chance of creating real change.

Conversation Topics
(00:00) The parking garage moment managers know too well
(01:32) Why feedback conversations feel so difficult
(02:28) The hidden problem: unclear standards and assumptions
(03:39) Why feedback is really a clarity conversation
(04:54) Move #1: Name the conversation before it starts
(05:50) Move #2: Lead with the observable gap, not emotions
(07:00) Move #3: Make the conversation collaborative, not a verdict
(07:00) Move #4: End with recommitment and accountability
(07:00) [EXTENDED ONLY] Why discomfort doesn’t always mean the conversation failed 
(08:02) [EXTENDED ONLY] The difference between capability, will, and systems gaps 
(09:22) [EXTENDED ONLY] Why repeating the same feedback conversation louder rarely works 
(10:17) [EXTENDED ONLY] Reframing feedback as alignment instead of judgment 
📚 Additional Resources

✨ Read the transcript:  https://docs.google.com/document/d/1iw4Ci7hYzU-1kSC8biwCp7opAjCuXcJJSRH7oP69PGk/edit?usp=sharing 

✨ Follow me on Instagram:
https://www.instagram.com/leadershipwithmamie/ 

✨ Visit my website for more:
https://www.mamieks.com/ 

✨ Level up your skills:
https://themodernmanager.com/replaybundle 

✨ Subscribe to my YouTube channel:
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC7jhYz8b16g1SsLia4EhO5w?sub_confirmation=1 
The Modern Manager is a leadership podcast for rockstar managers who want to create a working environment where people thrive, and great work gets done.

Follow The Modern Manager on your favorite podcast platform so you won’t miss an episode!
#Leadership #Management #Feedback #CommunicationSkills #ManagerTools #WorkplaceCommunication #LeadershipDevelopment #TheModernManager

AI can now answer questions faster, cheaper, and sometimes better than humans. So where does that leave managers and teams?

For many leaders, the instinct is to use AI to speed up execution and automate tasks. But the bigger challenge isn’t getting faster answers. It’s learning how to ask better questions, navigate uncertainty, and create environments where people are encouraged to think critically, experiment, and complement AI.

Fortunately, this week’s guest explains why the future of work won’t belong to the people who always have the right answers but to the teams that know how to explore problems with AI as their partner.

Dr. Vivienne Ming is a neuroscientist, entrepreneur, and author of Robot-Proof: When Machines Have All the Answers, Build Better People. Her work focuses on the intersection of artificial intelligence, human potential, and innovation, helping organizations understand which uniquely human skills become even more valuable in an AI-driven world.

In this conversation, we explore the difference between well-posed and ill-posed problems, why curiosity and intellectual humility matter more than expertise, and how managers can build teams that think more creatively alongside AI instead of becoming dependent on it.

Conversation Topics
(00:00) Introduction
(03:42) Why AI excels at “well-posed” problems
(07:00) The kinds of problems humans still solve best
(10:41) Why uncertainty makes managers uncomfortable
(13:20) How AI can create the illusion of understanding
(15:13) The human skills that become more valuable in an AI-driven world
(19:37) What “hybrid intelligence” between humans and AI looks like
(23:18) Why curiosity and intellectual humility outperform expertise alone
(27:12) How productive disagreement improves team thinking
(32:19) [Extended Episode Only] Building resilience, curiosity, and learning through failure
(35:48) [Extended Episode Only] Why rewarding “productive mistakes” matters
(40:56) [Extended Episode Only] Using constructive criticism to generate better ideas

📚 Additional Resources:

✨ Get the extended episode by joining The Modern Manager Podcast+ Community for just $15 per month

✨ Read the full transcript: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1jDqGUcP6zMtset2bPAkMNxaa40MQc4yuhK8kcgY-8KU/edit?usp=sharing
 
✨Follow me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/leadershipwithmamie/ 

✨Visit my website for more: https://www.mamieks.com/ 

✨Upskill your team: https://themodernmanager.com/replaybundle 

✨ Subscribe to my YouTube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC7jhYz8b16g1SsLia4EhO5w?sub_confirmation=1 

Keep up with Dr. Vivienne Ming and SOCoS
- Visit SOCoS here: https://socos.org/
- Check out the book Robot-Proof: When Machines Have All the Answers, Build Better People: https://socos.org/robot-proof 

Guest Bonus: Book Giveaway: Robot-Proof: When Machines Have All the Answers, Build Better People

Dr. Vivienne Ming helps readers grasp the ugly and the amazing of how individuals, companies, and societies will respond to the changes that are already taking hold due to the advent of AI. With poignant insight and delicate care to keep us grounded in the human perspective, Robot-Proof is an entertaining and thought-provoking read for all individuals seeking to understand the next steps in a new and completely unprecedented world.
To get this bonus and many other member benefits, become a member of The Modern Manager Podcast+ Community.

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The Modern Manager is a leadership podcast for rockstar managers who want to create a working environment where people thrive and great work gets done.

Follow The Modern Manager on your favorite podcast platform so you won’t miss an episode!

#ArtificialIntelligence #FutureOfWork #LeadershipDevelopment #AIatWork #CriticalThinking #InnovationCulture #Curiosity #WorkplaceLearning #LeadershipSkills #DigitalTransformation #CreativeThinking #ProblemSolving #HumanSkills #Management #AILeadership

Most managers assume burnout is caused by one thing: workload.

But in reality, burnout is rarely that simple. It’s usually the result of multiple hidden workplace dynamics that quietly drain energy over time, long before anyone officially burns out.

In this episode, I break down six overlooked causes of burnout that show up in everyday leadership decisions, from lack of work-life balance and micromanagement to toxic culture, lack of support, recognition gaps, and monotonous work.

You’ll also hear how these patterns show up in real teams, how they quietly erode engagement, and what you can do as a manager to start shifting them in practical, sustainable ways.

By the end of this episode, you’ll have a clearer understanding of how burnout actually builds over time and what small leadership shifts can prevent it from taking hold in your team.

Conversation Topics
(00:00) Why burnout often goes unnoticed until disengagement becomes visible
(01:19) Why burnout is more than just workload.
(02:55) Cause #1: Lack of work-life balance and always being “on.”
(04:14) Cause #2: Micromanagement and lack of trust.
(05:04) Cause #3: Toxic workplace culture and psychological safety.
(06:06) Cause #4: Lack of support from leadership and unclear communication.
(07:31) Cause #5: Lack of recognition and its emotional impact.
(08:58) Cause #6: Monotonous work and loss of engagement.
(10:45) Why burnout prevention is about small, consistent changes, not big overhauls.
(08:58) [EXTENDED ONLY] Personal burnout recovery strategies.
(10:45) [EXTENDED ONLY] How to recognize your own overload patterns as a leader.
(10:45) [EXTENDED ONLY] Deeper reflection on sustainable leadership habits.

📚 Additional Resources

✨ Read the transcript:  https://docs.google.com/document/d/1zaYWIxLEy6HrcMOgFBKRwyMMyV9JmZo15b6gcxr3Y-0/edit?usp=sharing 

✨ Follow me on Instagram:
https://www.instagram.com/leadershipwithmamie/ 

✨ Visit my website for more:
https://www.mamieks.com/ 

✨ Level up your skills:
https://themodernmanager.com/replaybundle 

✨ Subscribe to my YouTube channel:
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC7jhYz8b16g1SsLia4EhO5w?sub_confirmation=1 

✨ Check out Part 1 here: https://youtu.be/KLXNolHCz_0

The Modern Manager is a leadership podcast for rockstar managers who want to create a working environment where people thrive and great work gets done.

Follow The Modern Manager on your favorite podcast platform so you won’t miss an episode!

#LeadershipDevelopment #BurnoutPrevention #ManagementSkills #WorkplaceCulture #TeamLeadership #EmployeeEngagement #PeopleManagement #LeadershipTips #PsychologicalSafety #WorkLifeBalance #HighPerformanceTeams #ModernLeadership #TheModernManager

Resilience is often framed as pushing through, staying positive, and powering past challenges.

But that version of resilience can backfire, especially for managers trying to support their teams. When leaders jump too quickly into problem-solving or positivity, they can unintentionally make people feel unheard, dismissed, or disconnected.

Fortunately, this week’s guest shares a more effective approach to building resilience, one that starts with acknowledging what people are actually experiencing and then guides them toward solutions.

Jay Abbasi is a leadership coach and former executive who helps individuals and organizations develop resilience, improve performance, and lead through challenges with greater awareness and intention.

In this conversation, we explore how to support resilience in others without falling into toxic positivity, practical coaching techniques that help people find their own solutions, and how to lead teams through difficult moments by creating space, trust, and honest dialogue.

Conversation Topics
(00:00) Introduction
(02:18) Rethinking resilience beyond “just pushing through.”
(05:46) Why positivity can sometimes make things worse
(09:12) The importance of acknowledging what people are experiencing
(12:34) Coaching instead of fixing: helping others find their own solutions
(16:08) Powerful coaching questions that shift perspective
(19:27) Asking permission before giving advice
(22:41) Creating psychological safety through active listening
(26:15) Supporting individuals without becoming their therapist
(29:38) Leading teams through uncertainty and difficult news
(32:56) [Extended Episode Only] Supporting team resilience in real time
(33:44) [Extended Episode Only] Why “I hear you” matters more than solutions
(36:44) [Extended Episode Only] Coaching techniques to unlock better thinking
(40:14) [Extended Episode Only] How to lead team conversations during tough moments

📚 Additional Resources:

✨ Get the extended episode by joining The Modern Manager Podcast+ Community for just $15 per month

✨ Read the full transcript: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1YIXQtsAmWSuIXfl4ZDdfJ0INFUN2W5w8OA6yZrIC004/edit?usp=sharing 
 
✨Follow me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/leadershipwithmamie/ 

✨Visit my website for more: https://www.mamieks.com/ 

✨Upskill your team: https://themodernmanager.com/replaybundle 

✨ Subscribe to my YouTube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC7jhYz8b16g1SsLia4EhO5w?sub_confirmation=1 
Keep up with Jay Abbasi

- Connect with Jay on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/jayabbasi/

- Follow him on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/jayabbasi_/

- Follow him on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/thejayabbasi

- Subscribe to his YouTube channel: https://www.youtube.com/@jayabbasipodcast

Guest Bonus: Free PDF: 7 Strategies To Build Unshakable Resilience 

This PDF offers guidance on how to support your own resilience.
To get this bonus and many other member benefits, become a member of The Modern Manager Podcast+ Community.
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The Modern Manager is a leadership podcast for rockstar managers who want to create a working environment where people thrive, and great work gets done.

Follow The Modern Manager on your favorite podcast platform so you won’t miss an episode!

#leadershipcommunication #peoplemanagement #managertips #emotionalintelligence #workplacecommunication #leadershipskills #coachingleadership#psychologicalsafety #teamleadership #resilienceatwork