The Modern Manager

That stomach-drop feeling before a hard conversation? It's not weakness. It's your brain doing exactly what it was designed to do. Emotional intelligence expert Amy Jacobson breaks down the neuroscience of avoidance, the exact questions to ask before you say anything difficult, and why the conversation you've been dreading might be the most important one you ever have.
Guest Bio
Amy Jacobson is an emotional intelligence and human behavior specialist delivering programs, keynotes, and workshops across Australia and internationally. She is a twice Wiley-published author of Emotional Intelligence: A Simple and Actionable Guide to Increasing Performance, Engagement and Ownership and The Emotional Intelligence Advantage: Mastering Change and Difficult Conversations.

Conversation Topics
(00:00) Why humans are wired to avoid difficult conversations
(02:32) The role of the amygdala and fear of the unknown
(06:00) How our brain deprioritizes hard conversations to protect us
(07:12) What actually counts as a "difficult conversation"
(08:18) The difference between a difficult conversation and a difficult delivery
(09:38) Why curiosity is the most important tool in a first conversation
(10:21) Why you should never over-prepare for a first conversation
(15:16) The Ask, Ask, Tell framework
(16:41) How to remove emotion and get factual when someone won't own it
(19:29) Separating the person from the role
(21:27) Real-world story: a leader in the wrong role
(27:45) What a follow-up conversation must include: the consequence
(29:42) Great manager shoutout: Tina Fisher

Additional Resources

✨ Read the full transcript: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1AK1zgeJoKYqMWkNmGM-p-QkWz27Sd_p8_QxFqoRTf8U/edit?usp=sharing
✨ Follow me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/leadershipwithmamie/
✨ Visit my website for more: https://www.themodernmanager.com/
✨ Subscribe to my YouTube channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC7jhYz8b16g1SsLia4EhO5w?sub_confirmation=1

Keep up with Amy Jacobson
Website: https://amyjacobson.com.au/
Book: The Emotional Intelligence Advantage — https://www.amazon.com/Emotional-Intelligence-Advantage-Mastering-Conversations/dp/1394337949
Free eBook: https://app.box.com/s/0yjaellmagoc8dyceu5bdyndk4uoku6x
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/amy-jacobson-emotional-intelligence/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/amyjacobson_ei
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/findingyoury/
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC3tV1e6qV8EHqmA7_RFnPTw

Join my newsletter to get episodes and my one page episode guides with the key takeaways delivered directly to your inbox: https://www.themodernmanager.com
The Modern Manager is a leadership podcast that helps you close the gap between knowing what good management is and actually doing it. Follow The Modern Manager on your favorite podcast platform so you never miss an episode!
#Leadership #EmotionalIntelligence #DifficultConversations #ManagementTips #WorkplaceConflict #TeamLeadership #PeopleManagement #ManagerSkills #EQ

Picture a room stuck for three weeks on one sentence for a new policy. Half the team wants a rule tight enough to enforce, the other half wants it loose enough to survive real life. Nobody's wrong, and nobody's moving. This episode breaks down why chasing full agreement kills decisions, why forcing a vote kills them slowly in the background, and the three questions that get a group to something everyone can actually stand behind.

Conversation Topics
(00:00) Introduction
(01:39) Redefining Consensus: It's Not About Full Agreement
(02:27) The Two Traps: Endless Debate vs. Forced Votes
(03:57) The Three Questions That Break the Deadlock
(05:19) Why Silence Isn't the Same as Consent
(06:13) How to Apply This in Your Next Tough Decision

Additional Resources
✨ Read the full transcript: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1khG9LS-iuWW5Re14TuclvVFKzx8FSdo7xlFiWGsf_JI/edit?usp=sharing

✨ Follow me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/leadershipwithmamie/

✨ Visit my website for more: https://www.themodernmanager.com/

✨ Subscribe to my YouTube channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC7jhYz8b16g1SsLia4EhO5w?sub_confirmation=1

Join my newsletter to get episodes and key takeaways delivered directly to your inbox: https://www.themoddernmanager.com
The Modern Manager is a leadership podcast that helps you close the gap between knowing what good management is and actually doing it. Follow The Modern Manager on your favorite podcast platform so you never miss an episode!
#Leadership #TeamCommunication #Consensus #DecisionMaking #ManagementTips #WorkplaceCulture #TeamLeadership #ConflictResolution

Your team isn't falling apart because something went wrong. It's falling apart because that's what teams do by default, drifting toward disconnection unless someone actively counteracts it. Lucky for us, there are four forces that pull people back together. Discover the fast, free actions any manager can take this week to stop the drift before it costs you your best people.

Guest Bio
Matt Poepsel, PhD is the author of Expand the Circle: Enlightened Leadership for Our New World of Work and host of the Lead the People podcast. He serves as Vice President & Godfather of Talent Optimization at The Predictive Index. He holds a PhD in Psychology, an MBA, and a Harvard Business School Certificate of Management Excellence. Matt is a part-time faculty member at Boston College where he teaches in the areas of leadership, human resources, and business spirituality.

Conversation Topics
(00:00) Introduction: Why Teams Naturally Drift Apart
(01:19) Team Entropy: Why Cohesion Doesn't Happen by Accident
(09:46) Counterforce #1 — Creating Hope Through a Shared Future
(12:46) Counterforce #2 — Building Mutuality Through Fairness and Transparency
(17:17) Counterforce #3 — Strengthening Commitment by Investing in Team Identity
(24:43) Counterforce #4 — Creating Synchrony So Teams Work Together Smoothly
(27:55) The Manager Who Got It Right & Final Leadership Takeaways

Additional Resources
✨ Read the full transcript: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1qGzsoaFZ-5Dz7a8-X8AQEmYHxFrfqAj6q-pziO5kksg/edit?usp=sharing
✨ Follow me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/leadershipwithmamie/
✨ Visit my website for more: https://www.themodernmanager.com/
✨ Subscribe to my YouTube channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC7jhYz8b16g1SsLia4EhO5w?sub_confirmation=1

Keep Up with Matt Poepsel
Website: http://mattpoepsel.com/
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/mattpoepsel/
Book: Expand the Circle: Enlightened Leadership for Our New World of Work: https://a.co/d/08N6iDTp
Podcast: Lead the People: https://www.mattpoepsel.com/podcasts/lead-the-people

Join my newsletter to get episodes and free guides delivered directly to your inbox: https://www.themoddernmanager.com

The Modern Manager is a leadership podcast that helps you close the gap between knowing what good management is and actually doing it. 
Follow The Modern Manager on your favorite podcast platform so you never miss an episode!

#Leadership #TeamCohesion #ManagementTips #WorkplaceCulture #TeamBuilding #EmployeeEngagement #ModernManager #FutureOfWork

You say yes to the small stuff: the draft review, the book recommendation, the shampoo run. Then Thursday comes and none of it has happened. No one complains, but something quietly cracks. Every broken commitment, even the tiny ones, adds up to a trust tax you’re paying without realizing it. This episode breaks down the three-part structure that turns a yes into something people can actually count on.

Conversation Topics
(00:00) Introduction: The Three Small Promises I Broke
(01:31) Redefining Integrity: It’s About Keeping Commitments
(02:37) Why Good People Still Break Their Word
(03:04) The Hidden Cost: How Broken Commitments Erode Trust
(04:21) The Three-Part Structure of a Real Commitment
(06:08) How to Renegotiate and Repair a Broken Commitment
(07:11) Your 3-Step Challenge for This Week

Additional Resources
✨ Read the full transcript: https://docs.google.com/document/d/10EkeUUQhCQ9ltwuunRuglPyNMBmQz8KTHkYC5MnYD7U/edit?usp=sharing
✨ Follow me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/leadershipwithmamie/
✨ Visit my website for more: https://www.themodernmanager.com/
✨ Subscribe to my YouTube channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC7jhYz8b16g1SsLia4EhO5w?sub_confirmation=1
✨ Get the book: The 15 Commitments of Conscious Leadership by Jim Dethmer, Diana Chapman, and Kaley Klemp - https://a.co/d/0hP0FUJr

Join my newsletter to get episodes delivered directly to your inbox: https://www.themodernmanager.com

The Modern Manager is a leadership podcast that helps you close the gap between knowing what good management is and actually doing it. Follow The Modern Manager on your favorite podcast platform so you never miss an episode!
#Leadership #Integrity #TrustAtWork #Commitment #ManagementTips #ConsciousLeadership #WorkplaceCulture #PersonalAccountability #TeamTrust

Some of the best leadership lessons don't come from business books. Throughout history, different cultures have developed wisdom for how we can interact with and lead others. By exploring what different cultures value, we can identify insights into what might help us be better managers today.
Dr. Joel A. Davis Brown is an attorney, executive leadership consultant, and author of The Souls of Queer Folk. Drawing on lessons from LGBTQ+ cultural values and decades of leadership consulting, he helps organizations build more inclusive, perceptive, and human-centered leadership practices.

In this episode, we explore how the unique values of the LGBTQ+ community offer a powerful blueprint for transformational leadership. We’ll discuss how you can integrate these human-centered insights into your own team culture to create a more inclusive and effective workplace.

Conversation Topics
(00:00) Introduction
(02:34)  Why Joel started researching LGBTQ+ culture and leadership
(06:19)  How the research worked: 15 values sorted into 9 meta-themes
(09:45)  Overview of the meta-themes: justice, authenticity, verve, interconnectedness, creativity, fluidity, resilience, somatic awareness, perceptiveness
(12:52)  Authenticity: internal alignment before external behavior
(14:57)  Verve: internal exuberance versus charisma
(18:12)  Non-binary thinking: rejecting either/or decisions
(22:55)  Somatic awareness: what your body tells you about your work
(26:57  Two great managers Joel’s worked for
(33:06)  [EXTENDED EPISODE] Building these values into team culture, not just individual leadership
(39:28)  [EXTENDED EPISODE] Perceptiveness: situational awareness and reading the room

📚 Additional Resources:

✨ Read the full transcript: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1z2kdQnqMCcz92rq31pnfzOMH4O9df6rqYddUXwlvtg0/edit?usp=drive_link 
 
✨Follow me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/leadershipwithmamie/ 

✨Visit my website for more: https://www.mamieks.com/ 

✨ Subscribe to my YouTube channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC7jhYz8b16g1SsLia4EhO5w?sub_confirmation=1 
Keep up with Dr. Joel A. Davis-Brown.

- Connect with Joel on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/joelanthonybrown/

- Follow him on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/joelabrown/ 
- Visit the Pneumos website: https://www.pneumos.com/

Join my newsletter to get episodes delivered directly to your inbox: https://www.themoddernmanager.com
The Modern Manager is a leadership podcast for rockstar managers who want to create a working environment where people thrive and great work gets done.

Follow The Modern Manager on your favorite podcast platform so you never miss an episode!

#Leadership #TeamCommunication #WorkplaceCulture #LeadershipDevelopment #InclusiveLeadership #Teamwork #WorkStyles #ManagerSkills #PsychologicalSafety #EmotionalIntelligence #LeadershipTips #Collaboration #WorkplaceCommunication #FutureOfLeadership #TheModernManager