WARRIOR WEEK

In This Week’s Episode… Just over five years ago, Coach Sam Falsafi and Brandon James Duncan met at the gates of Warrior for the very first time and experienced the life-changing crucible, Warrior Week. What was going on in their lives when they first heard Garrett’s message? What was Warrior Week #5 like for them? How have their lives changed in the last five years? You’re bound to enjoy and resonate with the stories and experiences in this extraordinary episode of Warrior Week: Parables From the Pit.   Parable #1: Origins: Brandon “I was coming out of a really dark place. My father had passed away in 2011, and eight months before that, I became a dad. I was going through the journey of addiction, which sent me on a dark, depressing path for the next two years.” Navigating all of these obstacles, Brandon was lost and confused. “I had no friendships with men that I could talk to about what I was experiencing. Sometimes I would stay up all night searching for answers online.” It was during that process when Brandon saw an ad on Facebook featuring Garrett, who was wearing an orange shirt and a surfer hat. “The message back then was still pretty much the same; it was just packaged differently. This was in 2013. This was the first time since my dad had passed away that I felt connected to another man in a way that was almost like a father figure.” QUESTION As you look back over the dark times in your life, who or what drew you out of the darkness and into the light?   Parable #2:  Origins: Coach Sam Sam: It’s very similar to how my mind was cracked open to receive the idea and concept of going to such an event. I didn’t know anything about coaching or that such a thing even existed. I didn’t know that you could even talk with other men about the relationship you have with your wife. I was raised with the mentality of, “It’s my wife, so it’s super private. I’m supposed to handle this because if I don’t, I’m not a man.” Sam was new to CrossFit at the time and he had delved into the Tony Robbins community. And then, Garrett came into the mix. “I started respecting his message because it linked to the work I was doing, which was CrossFit. He would come out of the CrossFit gym all sweaty, still on fire, and turn on his phone to deliver a message about what he learned and how it applied to his life. It started opening a space in my head, and I knew that what this guy was saying was absolutely true.” QUESTION When you were introduced to Warrior, what was the message from Garrett that resonated the most with you at the time?   Parable #3: Co-Parenting “The gates of Warrior will always fucking expose you. There’s no hiding unless you choose to hide.” Recently, Sam came to the realization that his co-parenting has aways been random and lacking any real strategy. His thoughts have been, “Mom is giving them enough quality time, so it’s okay for me to back off. If I’m there or not, they’re not going to notice.” Brandon: When parenting our kids, meet them where they are. What worked when my daughter was six, is not going to be useful now that she’s nine. I believe that as a dad if you can be present and patient, your relationship with your kids will be amazing. When you’re present, you’ll notice things you’ve never noticed before. Kids are present – that’s all they know. As they seek our attention, they are simply seeking connection with us. QUESTION As you take a step back and look at your relationships, what can you do to be more present with the people that matter most to you? Parable #4: Awareness & Alignment Brandon: As men, a lot of the time, we tend to judge, label, and shame ourselves, which is not useful. Instead, acknowledge to yourself how you’ve been showing up and how, moving forward, this is how you intend to show up, which is more in alignment of who you are. Sam explains that it begins by being brutally honest with yourself. “It is when we are in that space, that we actually have a chance – and that’s exciting.” Brandon adds, “When you’re showing up as your absolute best self with your wife, what’s that like for her? She’s going to reflect that back to you and be a version of her best self. And from there, everything gets better.” QUESTION How are you showing up in your life?   Parable #5: Connection  When it comes to connection, Brandon believes that when we are inside an environment where we feel the connection and energy of everyone around us, that energy begins to rise because we are all contributing to that experience. “I believe we are all connected, and that we come from the same source, the same light, and the same energy. If more people could pause to truly bring some attention to this possibility, it would heal a lot of the trauma and soften a lot of the stress we are experiencing as a global society.” QUESTION What do you do to contribute to the energy of others around you that uplifts and strengthens?   *  , an adventure that will take you through six weeks of self-discovery and introduce you to some of the conversations and belief systems inside of the Warrior’s Way. betheman.com Parables from the Pit: “ “When you see God in others, game fucking over.” — Sam Falsafi “That which you seek is seeking you. If you can pause long enough to get really honest with yourself and ask yourself what you are truly seeking, you will see that the path to discovering that is already within your reach. Your willingness to go down that path is also your opportunity to discover that which you seek.” –Brandon James Duncan

  In This Week’s Episode… Dan Nagy, Warrior Week #49 graduate, is Coach Sam Falsafi's guest in this special episode of Warrior Week: Parables From the Pit. We learn about Dan's first miraculous encounter with the message of Warrior, how he was truly forged in fire, and his unexpected & beautiful "gift from the sky" that came into his life once he completely loved himself. *Coming Soon:  , an adventure that will take you through six weeks of self-discovery and introduce you to some of the conversations and belief systems inside of the Warrior’s Way. betheman.com Parables from the Pit: “ “Clarity truly collapses time. When we’re unclear, we fuck around and time owns us. When we’re clear, there’s no fucking doubt.” — Sam Falsafi “There’s more than fire fighting, there’s more than a shitty marriage, there’s more than buying an RV and going camping every weekend and drinking with your buddies. Believe the voice that’s telling you there’s more than your current situation.” –Dan Nagy  

Blake Sloan, Warrior Week graduate #16 & #46, is in the house as Coach Sam’s special guest in this episode of Warrior Week: Parables From the Pit where underlying stories are uncovered and several “a-ha” moments are revealed. We find out what happens to a young man who, at the young age of seventeen, loses his father to the feminine influence of a woman other than his mother, and how he creates and lives inside of a story that he will carry and run with for the next 15 years until he enters the gates of Warrior Week. Parable #1: The Missing Pieces Coach Sam: As you look back, what was it that was missing from your life? You had money, you had your significant other, you had status, so what the fuck was missing? Was it other dudes that were missing? Did you have guys with whom you could really share the things that were going on in your life? Blake: I think it was the lack of anyone that understood me or the pain that I was feeling on the inside, and ultimately the sacrifice it takes to actually be able to own and grow a business as I had. QUESTION Who do you surround yourself with that truly understands what you are experiencing in life and with whom you can share?   Parable #2: Embracing the Dark & the Light There were two massive takeaways from Blake’s experience in Warrior Week 16. “The biggest one by far was that I gave myself permission to finally be all of me – the dark side AND the light side. I used to be ashamed of the dark side because by the time I would let it out, there was so much rage and anger that I would nuke everybody around me.” “I would bottle it up and bottle it up… and then I would explode. Then I would try to be the nice guy. But it’s hard to be a good businessman while you’re trying to hold that back. It was during some evolutions that I had this big aha moment: I’m going to be ALL of me, the good and the bad. And from that day on, I feel like my entire life has been different.” QUESTION What have you been afraid to embrace about your dark side?   Parable #3: Inside the Pit of #46 In the midst of an evolution inside the Pit during WW 46, Blake closed his eyes and saw his father (who had been dead for a few years) staring back at him, something that really surprised him. “There was a whole history there. My dad cheated on my mom, he wasn’t showing up as a husband and father, and the next day he was gone. At the age of seventeen, that fucked me up a little. And that’s when I had to grow up.” In the end, his father chose to go with the woman with whom he had the affair, who incidentally didn’t like Blake. This resulted in a tumultuous relationship between Blake and his father, ultimately leaving Blake with this feeling of abandonment. “That was the person I looked up to the most who literally abandoned me.” QUESTION What did you face inside the Pit at Warrior Week that took you by surprise but in looking back made perfect sense? Parable #4: Connecting the Dots Another huge a-ha moment came to Blake after colliding with Coach Sam as they peeled back layer after layer regarding his failed engagement. The story he had been running with was that he was over it and that everything was ok…but it wasn’t. “Once we went through that process where I wrote it all down on paper, and then burned it, that was one of the most liberating things I’ve ever done in my entire life.” Coach Sam helped Blake see the connection between this and the abandonment of his father, who was under the feminine influence of a woman other than his wife. He realized his father had no tools to work through this and no one to actually have a conversation with about it. “There was no awakening that was brought to him; no one to collide with him and tell him, “Dude, you are fucking up right now!” QUESTION How have the tools of Warrior coupled with the association inside the Warrior Brotherhood served you?   Parable #5: Guilt & Shame Blake came into the game of WW #48 as a Certified Trainer serving and guiding men on their journeys going into and coming out of the Pit. He was a witness to the guilt and shame that adult men were carrying, just like his own father had. “In observing all of that guilt and shame, I had a huge a-ha moment where I could see how much everyone’s issues of guilt and shame came from their fathers.” Blake was a witness to the journey of one man who ultimately decided to leave Warrior Week. “He didn’t want to address the one issue that ultimately could have freed him.” QUESTION What are you hearing from this conversation? How does it resonate with you?     *Coming soon: Be the Man Challenge, an adventure that will take you through six weeks of self-discovery and introduce you to some of the conversations and belief systems inside of the Warrior’s Way.  Parables from the Pit: “When you look at this big puzzle called life, you realize that each piece of the puzzle needed to happen in order to be able to put the puzzle together. I want you to visualize the last piece of the puzzle being a piece of metal that is burning like fucking lava. And you had the balls to pick it up knowing it was going to hurt.” — Sam Falsafi “ “Looking back at the hundreds of books, coach after coach and all of the high-level mastermind events with top leaders such as Tony Robbins, Dan Kennedy, and others – all of those together could not touch the transformation that I had through my Warrior Weeks.” -Blake Sloan

As this week’s episode with Coach Sam and special guest, Luke Kayyem unfolds, it is sure to have you on the edge of your seat. It confirms the existence of miracles and a higher power, that each of us has a divine purpose, and that in the depths of our darkest pit there is a light shining on the life we are meant to live and the person we are meant to become. Parable #1: Phantom Dad Luke is an only child, was born to his mother when she was 43 years old and grew up without a father. “My dad was a phantom.” When Luke was old enough to speak, he asked his mother where his father was. “He’s got some problems & issues.” While in the seventh grade, Luke’s father actually reached out to him from prison and began writing him letters, promising Luke that when he got out on January 1st, he would return and become the father he was missing in his life. That day came and went until finally his mother told Luke, “He’s not coming.” QUESTION Did you have a phantom dad? Are you that phantom dad?   Parable #2: Burning It All Down After receiving that news, Luke began burning his young life down. He partied, stole, joined a gang, and sold drugs. “Thank goodness the other side of the coin was sports and a mom who did give a shit and who was there for me.” But the damage that he did during grades 8-12 was irreversible. “I did some really dumb, dark shit.” And from the ages of 20-25, Luke did whatever he could to try to forget it all. At that point in his life, Luke questioned if there was even a purpose to his life, other than his mother. He had no real goals or aspirations aside from “make some money, spend some money, party and drink.” One Saturday afternoon in June 2015, Luke went to see his mom. Life would take a sharp left turn that day which become one of the darkest moments in his life. “The one person in the world that’s ever believed in me is gone…” QUESTION How have you burned down your life?   Parable #3: The Dark Years Two hours after losing his mom, Luke bought all the alcohol he could find. Drinking became a way for him to forget everything. “I got so fucked up during the funeral that I can’t even tell you what I said.” Business-wise, things were going really well for Luke. But he looked like he was 50 years old because he was drinking, eating like shit, and making terrible choices. At this point, Luke decided that a move to Hawaii with his 20 person entourage would solve all of his problems. A year later, after being told ‘fuck you, I never want to talk to you again’ from his girlfriend, Luke returned to California. QUESTION What form of sedation to you consistently turn to? Parable #4: Twist of Fate Here he was, back where he started as a trainer when he was 19. One of his buddies had invited him to Lake Tahoe for New Year’s and within an hour of his arrival, he ran into his ex-girlfriend. “The one person who believed in me and still does to this day more than anybody was this queen whom I had not treated well for a very long time.” They didn’t leave the hotel for three days. “At 24, she’s a high-level executive in real estate, she’s crushing it in San Francisco, and wants nothing to do with this ass-hole.” Two weeks later while sitting at a bar, he gets a phone call, “I’m pregnant.” In her eyes, Luke is “an alcoholic, you’ve slept with all my friends, you’re a piece of shit.” He promised her if she would trust and believe in him, he would never make another “shitty fucking decision” again. As the story continues, time would tell if Luke was able to keep that promise and how life would unfold for them. QUESTION How are you seeing yourself in Luke’s story?   Parable #5: Letting Go During his life, Luke had turned his back on religion. It wasn’t until he entered the gates of Warrior Week where he was introduced to this idea of Meditation as being something beyond an app on his phone. “Finding that reconnection to this power or this third eye was the biggest thing I was missing.” His big a-hah moment during the interview with Sam revealed to Luke that he had been using fitness a tool of sedation. “Just nine months ago, I was running away from my missing father and the death of my mom. Those two weights were like carrying around 100 lb sandbags on each shoulder.” It took the power of the brotherhood, the coaches and Warrior Week to allow Luke to express the demons he had been carrying around his whole life. QUESTION How have you felt as you’ve let go of the heavy weights you’ve been shouldering your entire life?   Parables from the Pit: “Men don’t come to Warrior Week for transformation; they come to Warrior Week to find themselves; to find who they’ve always been and who they’ve always known themselves to be.” — Sam Falsafi “My gap is not my client’s gap, and it’s not my son’s gap.” -Luke Kayyem

This week’s guest is a very old friend of the Warrior’s Way, Joel Portman, a graduate of Warrior Week 17 and Warrior Week 41. Together, Coach Sam and Joel share a very special story that includes tragedy, obstacles, miracles, and angels. Parable #1: Uncovering Lies Joel’s first encounter with Warrior was a video where Garrett looked straight into the camera and asked, “Why do you lie?” It was a ‘deer in the headlights’ moment for Joel which activated a sense of awareness of his unspoken lies. This pivotal encounter led him to attend Warrior Week #17. Joel had been lying inside of his relationships which was hurting the people he genuinely loved. This was uncovered during Warrior Week and Garrett helped him discover the lie under the lie under the lie: Joel is afraid to get close to someone. QUESTION What lies have you recently uncovered? What has changed?   Parable #2: Going All In At the time of entering Warrior #17, Joel was involved in two relationships: one actual relationship and another that he let people believe he was in, even though he wasn’t. After Warrior, he was able to clean that up, make a commitment to go all in with his actual relationship which caused it to flourish. And then the unexpected suddenly happened. Before this time, a woman with whom he had been in a relationship passed away from brain cancer. As she neared the end of her life and was in an unconscious state, Joel was able to experience some divine moments with her, filled with a lot of emotions, some regrets, and commitments which he has since kept. QUESTION Describe a pivotal moment in your life.   Parable #3: Obstacles & Tragedy Years passed, things started falling apart, and Joel found himself knocking at the doors of Warrior Week 41. The pain that was uncovered was the guilt Joel felt about not going all in sooner than he did with the one who passed away suddenly. He eventually came to a place where he felt like she went home and he was still here to finish the work they had started. Joel has encountered and felt her presence numerous times, which has turned him into an entirely different man than he was during Warrior Week 17, and the man who continues to evolve through obstacles and tragedy. QUESTION What keeps you going in the face of obstacles and tragedy in your life/? Parable #4: Hannah Years ago, when Joel and his former wife began having children, their two daughters were born with cystic fibrosis. The girls were treated and taken care of, and everyone was very optimistic about their future. Somewhere down the road, due to the nature of the disease, the possibility of a lung transplant loomed in the future. Fast forward to the Fall of 2018. Joel’s daughter, Hannah, is in the hospital awaiting treatment and her husband texts Joel out of the blue informing him that things have suddenly gone south and that if he wants to say his last good-bye’s, he’s got to come immediately. QUESTION What do you do when you’re faced with unexpected news?   Parable #5: Miracles & Angels Hannah was stabilized and put into a medical coma. As Joel was having a conversation with her, he saw a tear form in the corner of her eye and was so happy they had made a connection. But when her oxygen levels started to go down, it became an “oh shit” moment as the alarms went off and doctors scrambled to get her stable. Through a series of determining factors, Hannah was placed at the top of the list for a lung transplant, something that had been on Joel’s radar since her childhood. But time was of the essence and what they needed now, more than ever, were some miracles. QUESTION Describe the moments when you have experienced miracles and angels.   Parables from the Pit: “When you feel chosen, certainty kicks in and your mission becomes very clear; your logic goes away and your emotion cannot fight it.” — Sam Falsafi “Make your spouse and children feel special. Skip the books, skip the to-do list and have a heart-to-heart using your language.” -Joel Portman