Ask Christopher West

–This episode is sponsored by Truthly–

Questions answered this episode:
A man in his 50s had a vasectomy years ago and, after a conversion, is now discerning marriage with a Catholic woman of childbearing age. Must he attempt a reversal for the marriage to be valid? If it’s possible and not life-threatening, should he try to restore his generative power? If it fails and he remains sterile, that wouldn’t invalidate the marriage if she knows. But if he refuses to consider reversal, is he excluding the procreative meaning of marriage? Can fear of risks justify not attempting it?
The Catholic Church teaches that Mary was a perpetual virgin. The Church also teaches that a man and woman are not truly married until the marriage has been consummated. So how can we call Joseph the spouse of Mary if their marriage wasn’t consummated, and why is it important that Mary remains a virgin?
My roommate, who is Catholic, just told me she’s moving because she’s dating a woman. I had no idea she’s been experiencing same-sex attraction for years. She said she’s talked with the Lord and doesn’t feel He’s telling her this is wrong. She’s not looking for guidance in resisting it or open to correction. How do I love and support her without compromising my beliefs? She asked me not to tell anyone, but I feel very alone and troubled. Will she keep going to Mass? Would she receive the Eucharist? Why does she feel such a deep connection and love with this woman?

Resources:
Colorado Ski Retreat with Christopher 
Course Schedule
Vasectomy Reversals

Ask Christopher West is a weekly podcast in which Theology of the Body Institute President Christopher West and his beloved wife Wendy share their humor and wisdom, answering questions about marriage, relationships, life, and the Catholic faith, all in light of John Paul II’s beautiful teachings on the Theology of the Body.

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🔥 ⁠⁠⁠Get 3 FREE sessions of our flagship course on Theology of the Body⁠⁠⁠

📕 ⁠⁠⁠Get a copy of Christopher's Eating the Sunrise: Meditations on the Liturgy & Our Hunger for Beauty⁠⁠⁠

⚡️ Want to have a better chance of us answering your question and support the Theology of the Body Institute? ⁠⁠⁠Join our Patron Community!⁠⁠⁠

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Submit you question here!

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🎟️ Event Schedule

📚 ⁠⁠Course Schedule

🏔️ Pilgrimages

🧠 ⁠List of trusted counselors & psychologists⁠

*If you are in financial need and honestly cannot afford a book or resource recommended on this podcast, contact: ⁠⁠[email protected]⁠⁠

–This episode is sponsored by Truthly–

Questions answered this episode:
How do you put into words what a soul is, especially when explaining it to a child in light of theology of the body—that our bodies and souls are both important and are meant to be together in heaven one day?
I struggle with premature ejaculation and, despite years of sincere effort in marriage, haven’t found a real solution. I want to be a true gift to my wife, but this makes it hard for her to reach climax and leaves me ashamed, even though she’s loving and supportive. Most advice is secular and recommends “edging,” which feels morally wrong. I’m stuck between wanting help and staying faithful to Church teaching. Are there faithful resources or approaches you’d recommend?
I’m a sophomore who recently ended my first relationship with a Catholic convert I met at the Newman Center. After two painful months, he broke up with me, taking the blame and telling me to pray. Since then, daily Mass and prayer have changed my heart. I realize I made him an idol and have surrendered this to God. I feel called to apologize and try again, but he asked for time. Should I move on or risk rejection and seek his forgiveness?

Resources:

Colorado Ski Retreat with Christopher 
Word Made Fresh Podcast on YouTube
Word Made Fresh Podcast on Spotify
Video: What It Means to Love God With "All Your Soul"

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🔥 ⁠⁠⁠Get 3 FREE sessions of our flagship course on Theology of the Body⁠⁠⁠

📕 ⁠⁠⁠Get a copy of Christopher's Eating the Sunrise: Meditations on the Liturgy & Our Hunger for Beauty⁠⁠⁠

⚡️ Want to have a better chance of us answering your question and support the Theology of the Body Institute? ⁠⁠⁠Join our Patron Community!⁠⁠⁠

---

Submit you question here!

---

🎟️ Event Schedule

📚 ⁠⁠Course Schedule

🏔️ Pilgrimages

🧠 ⁠List of trusted counselors & psychologists⁠

*If you are in financial need and honestly cannot afford a book or resource recommended on this podcast, contact: ⁠⁠[email protected]⁠⁠

–This episode is sponsored by Truthly–

Questions answered this episode:
I am a single man in my twenties and have committed to reserving sex for marriage. People often try to dissuade me by bringing up “sexual compatibility,” telling stories of couples who waited and later divorced because they weren’t compatible in the marriage bed. I struggle to respond since I can’t speak from experience about what sexual compatibility or good sex really means. My gut tells me there’s something selfish in this reasoning, yet every married couple hopes sexual intimacy will be wonderful for both spouses. So what is sexual compatibility, and is it really possible for a man and woman to be sexually incompatible?
I am a young woman with a fantastic boyfriend. When we kiss, it usually lasts for only a second, but I’ve found myself wanting a kiss from him that is longer and more intimate. I also have this desire when it comes to being held by him or cuddling. Thankfully, we both love theology of the body and desire to grow in chastity in our relationship, but I’m not sure how prudent these desires are because I don’t want to use him for physical pleasure. Is it okay for me to want these things from him even though we aren’t married? Can they be done in a chaste way? Having had unchaste experiences with men I’ve dated in the past makes me feel as though I’d be tainting my current relationship by doing these things, and the feelings that arise feel more like lust and crossing a boundary.
I recently came across your work and have been listening to your podcasts and interviews incessantly. It is truly life-changing material. You’ve referenced a few times a retreat where a priest asked you to perform various exercises to help stir up your desires so that you could really learn how to pray. What were those exercises? I haven’t been able to find them through all the listening I’ve been doing.

Resources:
Word Made Fresh Podcast on YouTube
Word Made Fresh Podcast on Spotify
Colorado Ski Retreat with Christopher 
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Ask Christopher West is a weekly podcast in which Theology of the Body Institute President Christopher West and his beloved wife Wendy share their humor and wisdom, answering questions about marriage, relationships, life, and the Catholic faith, all in light of John Paul II’s beautiful teachings on the Theology of the Body.

---

🔥 ⁠⁠⁠Get 3 FREE sessions of our flagship course on Theology of the Body⁠⁠⁠

📕 ⁠⁠⁠Get a copy of Christopher's Eating the Sunrise: Meditations on the Liturgy & Our Hunger for Beauty⁠⁠⁠

⚡️ Want to have a better chance of us answering your question and support the Theology of the Body Institute? ⁠⁠⁠Join our Patron Community!⁠⁠⁠

---

Submit you question here!

---

🎟️ Event Schedule

📚 ⁠⁠Course Schedule

🏔️ Pilgrimages

🧠 ⁠List of trusted counselors & psychologists⁠

*If you are in financial need and honestly cannot afford a book or resource recommended on this podcast, contact: ⁠⁠[email protected]⁠⁠

–This episode is sponsored by Truthly–

Questions answered this episode:
I have been a consecrated man for 40 years. Through theology of the body, I came to understand that my masculinity was not denied by my vow of chastity, but lived in another way. I learned to integrate natural bodily movements and the struggle for purity into my path of sanctification. Recently, due to age, these experiences have largely disappeared. I feel I now have less struggle and less of a felt experience of my masculinity. My testosterone levels have decreased, which brings sadness. Does this suffering make sense, and should I try to restore my testosterone to offer my virility to God as self-gift?
My boyfriend and I have dated for a year, and the topic of pornography has never really been discussed. I have no reason to believe that he currently watches, but I’m finding more and more that I need reassurance that this is not a potential threat to our sweet relationship. Would it be out of place for me to ask my boyfriend if he has watched or still watches porn? It feels so critical and unkind to ask him such a question. Do you have any suggestions on how I should approach this conversation?
I am currently dating a wonderful girl, and we have both been raised extremely well in the faith and theology of the body. We were talking about the beauty of reserving sex for marriage, and she mentioned that she has never felt the desire for sex once in her life. I was a bit shocked by this. Is that something that will grow as we continue to progress toward marriage in a holy way, or does that mean she will never have the natural human desire for sexual union in the marital act? I’m just worried about how that may affect a marriage. What is your thought?

Resources:
Colorado Ski Retreat with Christopher
Course Schedule
Are you ready for marriage? Check out Next Step: A Course for Discerning Marriage 
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Ask Christopher West is a weekly podcast in which Theology of the Body Institute President Christopher West and his beloved wife Wendy share their humor and wisdom, answering questions about marriage, relationships, life, and the Catholic faith, all in light of John Paul II’s beautiful teachings on the Theology of the Body.

---

🔥 ⁠⁠⁠Get 3 FREE sessions of our flagship course on Theology of the Body⁠⁠⁠

📕 ⁠⁠⁠Get a copy of Christopher's Eating the Sunrise: Meditations on the Liturgy & Our Hunger for Beauty⁠⁠⁠

⚡️ Want to have a better chance of us answering your question and support the Theology of the Body Institute? ⁠⁠⁠Join our Patron Community!⁠⁠⁠

---

Submit you question here!

---

🎟️ Event Schedule

📚 ⁠⁠Course Schedule

🏔️ Pilgrimages

🧠 ⁠List of trusted counselors & psychologists⁠

*If you are in financial need and honestly cannot afford a book or resource recommended on this podcast, contact: ⁠⁠[email protected]⁠⁠

–This episode is sponsored by Truthly–

Questions answered this episode:
About 10 years ago, my husband and I rushed into a vasectomy after my third child in 3.5 years and intense anxiety/depression. I wasn’t in favor, but agreed thinking he’d reverse it if we wanted more kids—then I learned he never intended to. For eight years I felt despair and our union felt unrepairable. In recent years, Christ has healed me, and discovering TOB helped transform my husband’s heart; he’s apologized and wishes he could take it back. But he fears reversal because of painful complications. Should I ask him to reverse it for me, or leave it up to him? How does this relate to TOB’s “special responsibility” of the man to reestablish the balance of the gift?
My question is about where the marriage imagery of Christ and the Church can fall short. Sometimes I find it hard to love God when I know that if I don’t, He has the power and authority to cast me into hell, and if this were a relationship between two sinners, it might seem abusive for one spouse to punish the other for lack of loyalty. Ezekiel 16 portrays God doing this in a spousal context, and it deeply troubles me. When I struggle with this, I shy away from Christ as Bridegroom and turn to other analogies, like Him as the vine. Can you shed some TOB light on this?
I’ve been in a relationship for four years. We’re both believing Christians and try to live our relationship in the light of theology of the body, but lately we’re struggling with physical affection—never knowing what is too much or what is healthy since we’re not married. We’ve talked a lot, and it seems I’m having a harder time than he is. My problem is that I often find myself troubled after the fact. I’d really appreciate some advice.

Resources:
Colorado Ski Retreat with Christopher 
[email protected]

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Ask Christopher West is a weekly podcast in which Theology of the Body Institute President Christopher West and his beloved wife Wendy share their humor and wisdom, answering questions about marriage, relationships, life, and the Catholic faith, all in light of John Paul II’s beautiful teachings on the Theology of the Body.

---

🔥 ⁠⁠⁠Get 3 FREE sessions of our flagship course on Theology of the Body⁠⁠⁠

📕 ⁠⁠⁠Get a copy of Christopher's Eating the Sunrise: Meditations on the Liturgy & Our Hunger for Beauty⁠⁠⁠

⚡️ Want to have a better chance of us answering your question and support the Theology of the Body Institute? ⁠⁠⁠Join our Patron Community!⁠⁠⁠

---

Submit you question here!

---

🎟️ Event Schedule

📚 ⁠⁠Course Schedule

🏔️ Pilgrimages

🧠 ⁠List of trusted counselors & psychologists⁠

*If you are in financial need and honestly cannot afford a book or resource recommended on this podcast, contact: ⁠⁠[email protected]⁠⁠