Dating Intentionally

What if dating felt less like a stressful search for your person and more like an experience you could actually enjoy? In this episode, I’m talking with Serena Kerrigan, creator and author of Let’s Fucking Date, about lowering the stakes in dating, stopping the need to control the outcome, and staying open to connections that don’t look exactly how you expected.
Serena shares how meeting her boyfriend challenged her assumptions about age, success, and what the “right” partner should look like, plus the mindset shifts that helped her stop overmanaging her dating life and actually enjoy it.
We’re getting into how to...
Use Serena’s “potential, practice, or plot” framework to make every date feel worthwhile
Stop putting so much pressure on every first date to become something
Stay open to people who don’t fit the picture you had in your head
Tell the difference between showing interest and doing too much
Give someone enough space to actually reveal how interested they are
Let go of control when dating feels uncertain
Get out of your comfort zone when your dating life feels stagnant
Stop treating self-improvement like a formula that guarantees you a relationship
Know when an “ick” is meaningful and when you might need to get a grip
Date with a more abundant mindset when age and timelines are stressing you out

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MORE FROM DATING INTENTIONALLY
Date Tracker: Start your 7-day free trial! (iOS link)
Take the quiz: What's holding you back in dating?
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Submit a dating dilemma
Book a 1:1 with me
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Feel like you're done wasting time on the wrong connections? I get it! In this episode, I'm breaking down seven of the most common mistakes I see people make in early dating, from dating someone's potential and staying in situationships to taking constant dating breaks, avoiding uncomfortable conversations, and being pen pals. I'm also sharing what to do differently so you can protect your time and energy and get closer to the relationship you actually want.
In this episode, you'll learn:
Why dating someone's potential can keep you invested way too long
How staying in a situationship can delay you from finding your person
Why constantly taking breaks from dating may be slowing you down and what to work on instead
How speaking up about small issues early can reveal someone's ability to handle conflict
What it means to date from your "back foot" and why it's a time waster
Why texting for weeks before meeting can create false intimacy
How to recognize red flags without confusing them with preferences
Why getting curious about someone's behavior can help you make better decisions sooner
How to stay grounded in who someone is today instead of who you hope they'll become
Plus, I answer a dating dilemma from a 40-year-old man who just learned that his new girlfriend occasionally smokes cigarettes and he's not sure what to do.
Ready to date with intention? Start your 7-day free trial of Date Tracker at thedatetracker.com! (iOS link)
MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE
Ep 260 - How to end a situationship
Ep 186 - Tips for taking a dating break
Ep 286 - Balancing effort in early dating
Ep 192 - Sneaky red flags in early dating
THANKS TO OUR SPONSORS
😎 Zenni: Get 15% off your first order and free shipping on orders over $65
MORE FROM DATING INTENTIONALLY
Say hi on Instagram
Submit a dating dilemma
Book a 1:1 with me
See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

How much is your self-worth affecting the way you date? In this episode, I’m talking with psychologist and author Dr. Marisa G. Franco about how our past experiences can shape what we believe we deserve, how we interpret rejection, and even our ability to accept love from someone who genuinely likes us. We’ll also explore what it means to build self-worth and how to stop dating from a place of fear and start going after what you want.
We’re getting into how to...
Understand the difference between self-esteem and self-worth
Recognize when you’re dating to avoid rejection instead of pursuing what you want
Understand why rejection hits some people so much harder than others
Identify old experiences that may still be shaping how you see yourself
Stop assuming someone doesn’t like you when there’s no evidence they don’t
Build self-worth by paying attention and responding to your emotions
Know when you’re seeking healthy reassurance versus outsourcing your worth to a partner
Navigate dating when you don’t feel completely confident or worthy yet

MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE
Worth: The New Science of Self-Esteem and Secure Attachment by Dr. Marisa G. Franco
Marisa's website
THANKS TO OUR SPONSORS
😎 Zenni: Get 15% off your first order and free shipping on orders over $65
MORE FROM DATING INTENTIONALLY
Ready to date with more confidence? Start your 7-day free trial of Date Tracker! (iOS link)
Take the quiz: What's holding you back in dating?
Say hi on Instagram
Submit a dating dilemma
Book a 1:1 with me

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

There's a reason you keep dating the same people in different fonts: it's your dating patterns.
In this episode, I'm sharing the three patterns I discovered while tracking my own dating life, how they were getting in the way of the relationship I actually wanted, and what I did differently once I could finally see them. I'm also walking you through a simple way to identify your own patterns and turn them into experiments so you can start getting different dating results.
In this episode, you'll learn:
What dating patterns actually are and how they can quietly influence who you choose and how you behave
Common patterns like getting attached too quickly, chasing unavailable people, staying too long, or writing people off too soon
The three dating patterns I discovered in my own dating life
Why I stopped rushing physical intimacy and started approaching sex differently
How I realized I was trying to earn affection instead of evaluating whether someone was right for me
Why consistency can feel less exciting when you're used to chasing someone's attention
How tracking my dates helped me spot behaviors I couldn't see in the moment
How to turn your own dating patterns into small experiments that help you make different choices
Plus, I answer a dating dilemma from a 41-year-old man figuring out how to start dating again after a 13-year marriage—and how to avoid falling back into old people-pleasing habits.

Ready to date with more confidence? Start your 7-day free trial of Date Tracker! (iOS link)

MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE
Episode 277 on IRL dating
What my date tracking note looked like & the emoji key
THANKS TO OUR SPONSORS
😎 Zenni: Get 15% off your first order and free shipping on orders over $65
MORE FROM DATING INTENTIONALLY
Say hi on Instagram
Submit a dating dilemma
Book a 1:1 with me
See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

How do you stay open-minded in dating without settling for less than what you want? And what happens when someone treats you well, checks a lot of the important boxes, but something still feels… off?
In this episode, I’m joined by licensed therapist Jordanne Sculler to talk about the messy, nuanced parts of dating that don’t fit neatly into a set of rules. We unpack why familiar relationship dynamics can feel more attractive than healthy ones, why self-awareness alone doesn’t always break old patterns, and how to tell when you’re honoring your needs versus shrinking yourself to keep someone around.
Listen for...
How to be open in dating without lowering your standards
Why dating checklists can get in the way of real connection
The difference between self-soothing and suppressing a legitimate need
Why someone healthy might initially feel uncomfortable or unfamiliar
How to stop focusing so much on whether someone likes you and ask whether you like them
What dating disappointment can bring up about your self-worth
How social media can reinforce negative stories about dating
Grieving the relationship or life timeline you thought you’d have by now
Why processing disappointment is different from simply “getting over it”
How Jordanne met her husband after initially writing him off

And at the end, we answer a dating dilemma from a woman wondering if she made a huge mistake by ending things with a great guy who didn’t feel like her person.

THANKS TO OUR SPONSORS
😎 Zenni: Get 15% off your first order and free shipping on orders over $65
MORE FROM DATING INTENTIONALLY
Ready to date with more confidence? Start your 7-day free trial of Date Tracker! (iOS link)
Say hi on Instagram
Submit a dating dilemma
Book a 1:1 with me

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.