Dating Intentionally

Communication is the most important thing in a relationship, but no one tells you what good communication actually looks like in practice. In this episode, I'm getting into relationship check-ins: the structured conversations my husband, Johnny, and I have had about 70 times over three years, and the single biggest reason our day-to-day relationship is virtually tension-free. I'm walking you through the exact questions we use (based on the Gottman State of the Union method, with our own additions), how check-ins have actually changed our relationship over time, when to start doing them, how to bring it up with your partner without making it weird, what to do if things get heated, and the most common mistakes people make. At the end, I tackle a dating dilemma about whether to give a great connection another shot after months apart.

MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE
My original episode on check-ins (ep 14)
The Gottman State Of The Union check-in format
My post on other check-in formats
Free dating guides: datingintentionally.com/gift
My episode with Zach Brittle on repair vs resolve

THANKS TO OUR PARTNERS
Boll & Branch: Get 15% off the softest bedding at bollandbranch.com/dating
Quince: Get 10% off and 365-day returns at quince.com/talia
Wayfair: Get your outdoor space summer-ready! wayfair.com

CONNECT WITH ME:
⁠Slide into my DMs on IG @dating.intentionally
MORE FREE ADVICE & CONTENT
Download my free dating guides (texting, reflections, FAQ)
⁠Get more dating advice from me on YouTube⁠
SUPPORT THE POD
⁠Rate on Apple
See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

I'm chatting with Trevor Hanson, a licensed marriage and family therapist. He and his team at The Art Of Healing help people move from anxious attachment to secure attachment in a structured, results-oriented way. We get into what anxious attachment actually looks like in dating for both men and women, why you can feel totally secure when you're single but completely fall apart once a relationship starts, and what emotionally corrective experiences are, and why they're what actually rewires your nervous system, not just reading more books or gaining more self-awareness. Trevor also shares why you don't need to be fully healed before you date, how conflict, followed by repair, builds real security over time, the problem with using AI to write your texts, and more. At the end, we tackle a dating dilemma from a guy who's not sure how to follow up after sending someone a rose on Hinge.

CONNECT WITH TREVOR
Trevor's IG

THANKS TO OUR PARTNERS
Boll & Branch: Get 15% off the softest bedding at bollandbranch.com/dating
Quince: Get 10% off and 365-day returns at quince.com/talia
Wayfair: Get your outdoor space summer-ready! wayfair.com

CONNECT WITH ME:
⁠Slide into my DMs on IG @dating.intentionally
MORE FREE ADVICE & CONTENT
Download my free dating guides (texting, reflections, FAQ)
⁠Get more dating advice from me on YouTube⁠
SUPPORT THE POD
⁠Rate on Apple
See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Emotional availability is one of the most desired traits in a partner, but it's so hard to find. In this episode, I'm walking through four real listener dilemmas that show how emotional unavailability actually shows up: from being blindsided by a breakup after a seemingly perfect relationship, to oversharing too early with someone you barely know, to getting stuck in a months-long holding pattern, to wondering if your sky-high standards are actually a wall. I'm breaking down what emotional availability really looks like, why "chasing the feeling" keeps people stuck, and how to start recognizing emotional availability so you don't miss it.

MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE
Episode 152 - a deeper dive on emotional unavailability
Episode 217 - with Julia Kristina, a therapist and expert on emotional intelligence and maturity
Episode 255 - healing anxious attachment with Rebecca Ore

THANKS TO OUR PARTNERS
Boll & Branch: Get 15% off the softest bedding at bollandbranch.com/dating
Quince: Get 10% off and 365-day returns at quince.com/talia

CONNECT WITH ME:
⁠Slide into my DMs on IG @dating.intentionally
MORE FREE ADVICE & CONTENT
Download my free dating guides (texting, reflections, FAQ)
⁠Get more dating advice from me on YouTube⁠
SUPPORT THE POD
⁠Rate on Apple
See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

I'm chatting with Hanna Anderson and Mackenzie Foltz, the co-hosts of The Dating Detectives, a podcast that combines real PI work with deeply ethical storytelling about people who got conned in love. We're discussing everything from what "dogfishing" actually is (and how it's different from catfishing) to the subtle early red flags most people miss, to why love bombing feels so good even when it's a setup. Mackenzie and Hanna also share their PI-approved guide to vetting someone you're dating without feeling "crazy," including the exact line to use when you've found something on them, plus practical safety tools every single person should know about. At the end, we tackle a dating dilemma about a guy who keeps liking other women's photos on Instagram after being asked to stop.

MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE
"The Origin Story" — the case that inspired the show
The crypto catfish (FaceTime sob story episode)
The "time-traveling" investor episode
The Twitter vegan episode
The "evil stepmother" episode
My guest appearance on The Dating Detectives!

THANKS TO OUR PARTNERS
Boll & Branch: Get 15% off the softest bedding at bollandbranch.com/dating
Quince: Get 10% off and 365-day returns at quince.com/talia

CONNECT WITH ME:
⁠Slide into my DMs on IG @dating.intentionally
MORE FREE ADVICE & CONTENT
Download my free dating guides (texting, reflections, FAQ)
⁠Get more dating advice from me on YouTube⁠
SUPPORT THE POD
⁠Rate on Apple

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

In this episode, I'm covering how attraction actually works when you're dating for a long-term relationship, from how to know if you're attracted to someone and what's "enough," to how long to give it before walking away, to how attraction can grow over time and what it actually takes for that to happen. I'm also answering a few listener questions, and at the end, I tackle a dating dilemma about a confusing Bumble interaction.

MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE
Free dating FAQ guide
Stop looking for attraction on the first date
Dating outside your type
Flirting tips episode

THANKS TO OUR PARTNERS
Boll & Branch: Get 15% off the softest bedding at bollandbranch.com/dating
Quince: Get 10% off and 365-day returns at quince.com/talia

CONNECT WITH ME:
⁠Slide into my DMs on IG @dating.intentionally
MORE FREE ADVICE & CONTENT
Download my free dating guides (texting, reflections, FAQ)
⁠Get more dating advice from me on YouTube⁠
SUPPORT THE POD
⁠Rate on Apple
See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.