The One You Feed | Personal Growth, Emotional Resilience & Purpose

In this episode, Matthew Quick returns to discuss his powerful new memoir, Dad, Love, Me. He explores what it means to choose love after a lifetime of hurt, reflecting on caring for a father who never fully knew how to love him. Along the way, Matthew unpacks how childhood wounds shape us, why healing doesn’t depend on getting the apology we deserve, and how reclaiming our own story can lead to greater compassion, freedom, and meaning, even in relationships marked by deep hurt.

🎉 Patreon Book Giveaway! Matthew’s publisher has generously provided five copies of his new memoir, Dad, Love, Me, for One You Feed listeners! As a thank-you for supporting The One You Feed, all paid Patreon members are automatically entered to win. If you’re not a member yet, it’s a perfect time to join! This is just one of the ways we hope to thank our Patreon community with occasional book giveaways, ad-free episodes, post-show conversations, and more. Join us at oneyoufeed.net/join.

Good Wolf Reminders! A little wisdom, right when you need it. Start receiving free text reminders designed to help you pause, reflect, and take meaningful action. Sign up at oneyoufeed.net/sms.

Key Takeaways:

Why "good" and "bad" aren't enough to understand ourselves

How childhood trauma quietly shapes adult relationships

The deeper pain addiction is often trying to numb

Why we repeat unhealthy relationship patterns

The surprising difference between blame and responsibility

Healing without the apology you've been waiting for

What caring for an aging parent can teach us about ourselves

Why choosing compassion can be more healing than resentment

How telling your own story helps you reclaim your life

For full show notes, ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠click here⁠⁠⁠!⁠⁠

If you enjoyed this conversation with Matthew Quick, check out these other episodes:

A Journey to Self-Discovery and Sobriety with Matthew Quick

What We Can Learn From Our Bad Wolf with Matthew Quick

This episode is sponsored by:

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In this special episode, we’re sharing Eric’s recent appearance on The Jordan Harbinger Show. Eric joins Jordan to explore the ideas behind his book, How a Little Becomes a Lot, including why lasting change rarely comes from one dramatic breakthrough, how all-or-nothing thinking keeps us stuck, and what it means to build a better life through small, repeatable choices. They also discuss Eric’s journey through addiction and recovery, the hidden forces that derail our best intentions, and how reducing resistance can help us keep moving toward what matters—even when motivation disappears.

Feeling overwhelmed in your life?Check out ⁠Overwhelm is Optional ⁠— a 4-week email course that helps you feel calmer and more grounded without needing to do less. In under 10 minutes a day, you’ll learn simple mindset shifts (called “Still Points”) you can use right inside the life you already have. ⁠Sign up here for only $29!⁠

Key Takeaways:

Eric shares his story of addiction and the small choices that led him to recovery.

Why dramatic turning points matter less than the daily decisions that follow.

The "little by little" approach to creating lasting behavioral change.

How all-or-nothing thinking keeps us stuck—and what works instead.

Why motivation is unreliable and consistency matters more.

Making habits easier by reducing resistance and lowering the barrier to starting.

Breaking big goals into small wins that build momentum.

The six common ways we sabotage our own self-control.

Why changing your actions can reshape your thoughts and emotions.

How flexibility—not perfection—is the key to sustaining change over time.

For full show notes, ⁠⁠⁠⁠click here⁠⁠!⁠⁠

If you enjoyed this conversation between Jordan Harbinger and Eric Zimmer, check out these other episodes:

How Small Changes Lead to Lasting Transformation in Your Life with Eric Zimmer

How to Make Lasting Changes with John Norcross

This episode is sponsored by:

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠David Protein⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ bars deliver up to 28g of protein for just 150 calories—without sacrificing taste! For a limited time, our listeners can receive this special deal: buy 4 cartons and get the 5th free when you go to ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.davidprotein.com/FEED⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Talkiatry⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ connects you with licensed psychiatrists for personalized, evidence-based mental health care, all online and covered by most major insurance plans. To get matched with an in-network psychiatrist in just a few minutes, visit ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Talkiatry.com/FEED.⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

⁠⁠⁠Pebl⁠⁠⁠ – an AI-powered platform that helps companies hire and manage global teams in 185+ countries. Get a free estimate at ⁠⁠⁠hipebl.ai⁠⁠⁠

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Alma⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ has a directory of 20,000 therapists with different specialities, life experiences, and identities, and 99% of them take insurance. Visit ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠helloalma.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ to learn more!

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⁠⁠⁠⁠Shopify⁠⁠⁠⁠ – The commerce platform that helps you build, grow, and manage your business all in one place. Start your $1/month trial at ⁠⁠⁠⁠shopify.com/feed.⁠⁠⁠⁠

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Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this episode, Bruce Feiler explores why rituals have been essential to human life for thousands of years—and why they're more important than ever in today's rapidly changing world. Drawing from his new book A Time to Gather, Bruce explains how meaningful rituals can help us navigate grief, celebrate milestones, strengthen relationships, and create a greater sense of connection during life's biggest transitions. Along the way, he and Eric share personal stories of loss, family, and the healing power of gathering with intention.

Feeling overwhelmed in your life?Check out Overwhelm is Optional — a 4-week email course that helps you feel calmer and more grounded without needing to do less. In under 10 minutes a day, you’ll learn simple mindset shifts (called “Still Points”) you can use right inside the life you already have. Sign up here for only $29!

Key Takeaways:

Why humans instinctively create rituals during times of change

How personalized rituals are replacing traditional ceremonies

Bruce's five essential life rituals for today's nonlinear lives

How rituals help us process grief and strengthen relationships

The surprising role of the "group keeper" as a peacemaker

A simple framework for creating meaningful rituals of your own

For full show notes, ⁠⁠⁠click here⁠⁠!⁠

If you enjoyed this conversation with Bruce Feiler, check out these other episodes:

How to Harness the Power of Rituals with Michael Norton

Science and the Sacred with Sasha Sagan

This episode is sponsored by:

⁠⁠⁠⁠David Protein⁠⁠⁠⁠ bars deliver up to 28g of protein for just 150 calories—without sacrificing taste! For a limited time, our listeners can receive this special deal: buy 4 cartons and get the 5th free when you go to ⁠⁠⁠⁠www.davidprotein.com/FEED⁠⁠⁠⁠

⁠⁠⁠⁠Talkiatry⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ connects you with licensed psychiatrists for personalized, evidence-based mental health care, all online and covered by most major insurance plans. To get matched with an in-network psychiatrist in just a few minutes, visit ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Talkiatry.com/FEED.⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

⁠⁠Pebl⁠⁠ – an AI-powered platform that helps companies hire and manage global teams in 185+ countries. Get a free estimate at ⁠⁠hipebl.ai⁠⁠

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Alma⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ has a directory of 20,000 therapists with different specialities, life experiences, and identities, and 99% of them take insurance. Visit ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠helloalma.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ to learn more!

⁠⁠⁠⁠Quince:⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Refresh your wardrobe with Quince by going to ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Quince.com/feed⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ for free shipping and 365-day returns. Now available in Canada, too.

⁠⁠⁠Shopify⁠⁠⁠ – The commerce platform that helps you build, grow, and manage your business all in one place. Start your $1/month trial at ⁠⁠⁠shopify.com/feed.⁠⁠⁠

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Tiny Health⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠'s at-home gut health test provides science-backed insights into your microbiome, along with personalized recommendations to help you improve your digestion, energy, and overall well-being. Get $50 off your first test kit at⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ tinyhealth.com/FEED⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this episode, Anne Lamott explores why waiting for the perfect community, the perfect version of ourselves, or the perfect moment keeps us from the very connection we're searching for. She discusses overcoming perfectionism, quieting the inner critic, finding the courage to walk into unfamiliar rooms, and embracing the messy, imperfect relationships that help us heal. Along the way, Anne shares her signature blend of humor, wisdom, and honesty about recovery, self-compassion, and discovering that a more meaningful life begins when we stop trying to do it all perfectly.

Free Guide: Outsmart the Hidden Saboteurs of Self-Control. What's been holding you back lately? In this free guide, Eric shares the six common saboteurs that quietly derail our best intentions—like autopilot behavior, self-doubt, and emotional escapism—and offers practical strategies to help you regain control and move forward. Download your free copy at ⁠oneyoufeed.net/ebook.⁠

Key Takeaways:

Why perfectionism keeps us from the connection we're looking for

How changing what we pay attention to can transform the way we experience life

Why healing is a process of returning to who you were meant to be—not becoming someone new

The difference between chasing validation and finding lasting serenity

Why showing up to imperfect communities can change your life

How to quiet your inner critic with awareness, acceptance, and self-compassion

The relationship between shame, perfectionism, and emotional healing

For full show notes, ⁠⁠click here⁠⁠!

If you enjoyed this conversation with Anne Lamott, check out these other episodes:

068: Byron Katie- The Work

The Unexpected Joy of Being Sober with Catherine Gray

This episode is sponsored by:

⁠⁠⁠David Protein⁠⁠⁠ bars deliver up to 28g of protein for just 150 calories—without sacrificing taste! For a limited time, our listeners can receive this special deal: buy 4 cartons and get the 5th free when you go to ⁠⁠⁠www.davidprotein.com/FEED⁠⁠⁠

⁠⁠⁠Talkiatry⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ connects you with licensed psychiatrists for personalized, evidence-based mental health care, all online and covered by most major insurance plans. To get matched with an in-network psychiatrist in just a few minutes, visit ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Talkiatry.com/FEED.⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

⁠Pebl⁠ – an AI-powered platform that helps companies hire and manage global teams in 185+ countries. Get a free estimate at ⁠hipebl.ai⁠

⁠⁠⁠⁠Alma⁠⁠⁠⁠ has a directory of 20,000 therapists with different specialities, life experiences, and identities, and 99% of them take insurance. Visit ⁠⁠⁠⁠helloalma.com⁠⁠⁠⁠ to learn more!

⁠⁠⁠Quince:⁠⁠⁠⁠ Refresh your wardrobe with Quince by going to ⁠⁠⁠⁠Quince.com/feed⁠⁠⁠⁠ for free shipping and 365-day returns. Now available in Canada, too.

⁠⁠Shopify⁠⁠ – The commerce platform that helps you build, grow, and manage your business all in one place. Start your $1/month trial at ⁠⁠shopify.com/feed.⁠⁠

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Tiny Health⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠'s at-home gut health test provides science-backed insights into your microbiome, along with personalized recommendations to help you improve your digestion, energy, and overall well-being. Get $50 off your first test kit at⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ tinyhealth.com/FEED⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this episode, Amy Kurtz explores the challenges of when your health feels like a roller coaster and finding stability in the chaos of chronic illness. She shares her journey through years of misdiagnosis before finally being diagnosed with late-stage Lyme disease. Amy also discusses living in the "grey area" between sickness and wellness and introduces her concept of "Medical Trauma Brain" (MTB), describing the emotional and neurological impact of chronic illness. You'll discover practical tools, including her "Four Rs" framework, to help people regulate their nervous system and reclaim agency over their health and wellbeing.

Free Guide: Outsmart the Hidden Saboteurs of Self-Control. What's been holding you back lately? In this free guide, Eric shares the six common saboteurs that quietly derail our best intentions—like autopilot behavior, self-doubt, and emotional escapism—and offers practical strategies to help you regain control and move forward. Download your free copy at oneyoufeed.net/ebook.

Key Takeaways:

Personal journey with chronic illness and late-stage Lyme disease diagnosis

Challenges of misdiagnosis and the struggle for clarity in health

Living in the "grey area" between being sick and well

Concept of "Medical Trauma Brain" (MTB) and its emotional impact

The complexity of diagnosing chronic conditions with overlapping symptoms

Mental health struggles following physical recovery from illness

Importance of self-advocacy and agency in healthcare

Tools and strategies for managing anxiety and trauma related to chronic illness

The "Four Rs" framework for regulating the nervous system

The ongoing process of acceptance and change in the context of chronic illness

For full show notes, ⁠click here⁠!

If you enjoyed this conversation with Amy Kurtz, check out these other episodes:

How to Find Joy and Healing While Living with Chronic Illness with Meghan O’Rourke

Living with Chronic Illness with Toni Bernhard

How To Live with Uncertainty and Find Hope in the Midst of Chronic Illness with Marisa Renee Lee

This episode is sponsored by:

⁠⁠David Protein⁠⁠ bars deliver up to 28g of protein for just 150 calories—without sacrificing taste! For a limited time, our listeners can receive this special deal: buy 4 cartons and get the 5th free when you go to ⁠⁠www.davidprotein.com/FEED⁠⁠

⁠⁠Talkiatry⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ connects you with licensed psychiatrists for personalized, evidence-based mental health care, all online and covered by most major insurance plans. To get matched with an in-network psychiatrist in just a few minutes, visit ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Talkiatry.com/FEED.⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Pebl – an AI-powered platform that helps companies hire and manage global teams in 185+ countries. Get a free estimate at hipebl.ai

⁠⁠⁠Alma⁠⁠⁠ has a directory of 20,000 therapists with different specialities, life experiences, and identities, and 99% of them take insurance. Visit ⁠⁠⁠helloalma.com⁠⁠⁠ to learn more!

⁠⁠Quince:⁠⁠⁠ Refresh your wardrobe with Quince by going to ⁠⁠⁠Quince.com/feed⁠⁠⁠ for free shipping and 365-day returns. Now available in Canada, too.

⁠Shopify⁠ – The commerce platform that helps you build, grow, and manage your business all in one place. Start your $1/month trial at ⁠shopify.com/feed.⁠

⁠⁠⁠⁠Tiny Health⁠⁠⁠⁠'s at-home gut health test provides science-backed insights into your microbiome, along with personalized recommendations to help you improve your digestion, energy, and overall well-being. Get $50 off your first test kit at⁠⁠⁠⁠ tinyhealth.com/FEED⁠⁠⁠⁠

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices