101. When Grief Shows Up Uninvited: Loss, Healing and Motherhood, a Roundtable with Katie Huey and Abby Waychoff
This roundtable sits in the tender middle where grief and everyday life meet. Abby shares losing her sister—her person—and how that reshaped motherhood, work, and identity. Katie reflects on losing her dad unexpectedly and the decade-long evolution of grief that led to her new book, Grief Cookies and Other Comforting Things. Together we talk language (what helps, what harms), parenting through loss, making meaning without forcing timelines, and building rituals that let our people stay present in our lives.In this episode: When the world keeps spinning: That frozen-in-time feeling after loss—and how to function when the calendar won’t wait.Permission to feel both: Joy and sorrow coexisting; why “time heals” isn’t the whole story.Words that help (and don’t): Moving beyond “there are no words”; simple phrases that land with care.Parenting & grief: Telling the truth at kid-level; navigating family trees, school projects, and curious classmates.Rituals that root us: Ofrendas, Día de los Muertos, photo traditions, quilts from loved ones’ clothes, and everyday anchors (toast with cream cheese & jelly).Coping vs. numbing: Movement, nature, journaling/blogging, creative outlets—and how compartmentalizing can be a short-term tool, not a forever plan.Community & support: Why we shouldn’t do grief alone; finding your “me too” people.Identity shifts: Career pivots, creative work, and the exfoliation of “shoulds” after loss.Practical Practices You Can TrySay something simple: “This sucks. I’m here with you.” / “I don’t know what to say, but I’m not going anywhere.”Micro-comforts: Warm drink, a short walk, fresh air on your face, a favorite song—tiny signals of safety to your nervous system.Ritualize remembrance: A photo on the mantle, a yearly ofrenda, a recipe they loved, a shared song—light, repeatable touchpoints.Kid-level honesty: Offer age-appropriate truth, answer questions directly, and let the story grow with them.Name the cycle: “This wave will pass. Another may come. We can ride them together.”Key TakeawaysGrief doesn’t vanish; it changes shape. Some years are softer, some spike. Both are normal.Language matters. Avoid timelines and silver linings; choose presence over fixes.Compartmentalizing can help you move through the day—return to the feelings when you have capacity.Traditions keep people with us. Rituals don’t need to be fancy to be meaningful.You don’t have to do this alone. Support—professional, peer, spiritual, creative—lightens the lift.Loss can catalyze aligned living—a clearer yes, a braver no, a gentler pace.About Our GuestsAbby Waychoff — Mom, OT by training, and current mental health counseling grad student. After losing her sister, Abby’s work and life pivoted toward grief, meaning-making, and aligned living.Katie Huey — Coach, writer, and facilitator focusing on language for hard things. Author of Grief Cookies and Other Comforting Things: Finding Beauty in Life After Loss (Pub day: today in the episode timeline). Creates spaces to hold both sorrow and joy.Resources MentionedGrief Cookies and Other Comforting Things — Katie HueyDía de los...
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