Knock Knock, Hi! with the Glaucomfleckens

Put down the hospital cafeteria coffee because today I am diving into a "barbaric" problem in American hospitals that I can't believe I haven't addressed yet: ED Boarding. I’m talking to you like a med student in the trenches to explain why patients are stacking up in hallways for days and why it’s not because we’ve run out of beds, but because the incentives of hospital administration and insurance companies are fundamentally broken.

Later, we’re tackling the new Netflix documentary Caterpillar about eye color change surgery. I’ll break down the "laser-guided" sales pitch for keratopigmentation and why injecting ink into your clear cornea is an ethical nightmare that can lead to permanent inflammation, infections, and "unnatural" results. We wrap up with a terrifying masquerade syndrome: a cancer that looks exactly like a common stye until it starts making your eyelashes fall out.

Takeaways:


The Boarding Crisis: Why hospitals "concentrate the unhappy" in the ER to keep their inpatient satisfaction scores high elsewhere.


The Profit Filter: How the aging Medicare population is treated as a "non-profitable" nuisance compared to high-margin outpatient surgeries.


Iris Implants vs. Tattoos: The mechanical reason silicone discs are failing and why "eye tattoos" are actually just a layer of ink trapped in your cornea.


The "Spontaneous" Color Myth: Why you should be wary of any surgeon claiming they can "naturally" change your eye color.


The Masquerade Cancer: How Sebaceous Cell Carcinoma fools doctors for years by pretending to be a run-of-the-mill eyelid bump.

To Get Tickets to Wife & Death: You can visit Glaucomflecken.com/live 

We want to hear YOUR stories (and medical puns)! Shoot us an email and say hi! [email protected]

Can’t get enough of us? Shucks. You can support the show on Patreon for early episode access, exclusive bonus shows, livestream hangouts, and much more! –⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ http://www.patreon.com/glaucomflecken⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ 

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If you want more information on models I use:

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A friendly reminder from the G’s and Tarsus: If you want to learn more about Demodex Blepharitis, making an appointment with your eye doctor for an eyelid exam can help you know for sure. Visit ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠http://www.EyelidCheck.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ for more information. 

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I’m feeling a bit reflective this week as we head into Mother’s Day, a holiday that used to be a real bummer for us. It turns out that having a cardiac arrest the day after Mother's Day imprints some pretty weird sensory triggers, like the specific way a tree buds or the smell of spring air.

Joining Kristin and I to talk about motherhood, medicine, and the messy "long view" of family life is Dr. Rebecca N. Thompson. Dr. Thompson is a family physician who took the concept of a memoir and turned it into a massive, 10-year collaborative project called Held Together. She didn’t just write her own story; she captured the voices of 21 other women to explore how families are sustained through pregnancy loss, rare diseases, and the general chaos of raising kids.

We also dive into the "all-you-can-eat buffet" of compassion and why grief shouldn't be treated like a contest. Becca shares the "painfully poetic" story of how she became "20 minutes pregnant" right as she started a surprise second residency, which she only got because another intern saw the hospital on a hill and decided to bail. It’s a fiercely optimistic conversation about finding meaning in the "in-between moments" of life.

Takeaways:


Why Dr. Thompson believes Public Health and Preventive Medicine should be at the very bottom of Will’s "specialty respect ladder".


The concept of a "shared memoir" and why hearing the first-person perspective of 21 different women is more powerful than a standard anthology.


The "Spaceship" hospital in Oregon that allegedly scared a resident so badly they turned their car around and quit on the spot.


Why Will and Becca agree that "compassion is not a pie" and there is plenty of room for everyone’s grief at the table.


How Becca managed to write a full-length book over 10 years by utilizing 20-minute chunks of time in car pickup lines.

—

To Get Tickets to Wife & Death: You can visit Glaucomflecken.com/live 

We want to hear YOUR stories (and medical puns)! Shoot us an email and say hi! [email protected]

Can’t get enough of us? Shucks. You can support the show on Patreon for early episode access, exclusive bonus shows, livestream hangouts, and much more! –⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ http://www.patreon.com/glaucomflecken⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ 

Also, be sure to check out the newsletter: https://glaucomflecken.com/glauc-to-me/

If you are interested in buying a book from one of our guests, check them all out here: https://www.amazon.com/shop/dr.glaucomflecken

If you want more information on models I use:

Anatomy Warehouse provides for the best, crafting custom anatomical products, medical simulation kits and presentation models that create a lasting educational impact.  For more information go to Anatomy Warehouse DOT com. Link: https://anatomywarehouse.com/?aff=14 Plus for 15% off use code: Glaucomflecken15

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A friendly reminder from the G’s and Tarsus: If you want to learn more about Demodex Blepharitis, making an appointment with your eye doctor for an eyelid exam can help you know for sure. Visit ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠http://www.EyelidCheck.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ for more information.

Go to Cozy Earth now for a Buy One Get One Free Pajama Offer from 1/25-2/8! Yes, go to ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠cozyearth.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ they are doing a BOGO pajama promo. Just use my Code: KNOCKKNOCKBOGO

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I’m feeling a little run down today—it’s peak "conference season," and I’ve been bouncing between recording studios and speaking gigs. But I couldn’t wait to give you an update on the situation in Eugene. We’ve moved past simple contract disputes and into "administrative meddling," with leaked emails showing a hospital CEO attempting to influence clinical decisions in real time without a license to practice. I’m breaking down the retaliation claims, the latest administrative leave, and why I’m heading to a fundraiser to support the local physicians fighting this corporate takeover.

Later, we have a fascinating mystery case involving a 55-year-old man who lost his ability to see the moment the sun went down. It wasn't cataracts or inherited genetics; it was a rare side effect of a prior bowel surgery that turned his eyes into a diagnostic puzzle. We wrap up with Thing I Love, Thing I Hate, featuring the miracle of "chemotherapy for the eye" and my legendary soapbox rant about why vision insurance shouldn't even exist

Takeaways:


The CEO’s Electronic Eye: How leaked emails revealed a hospital administrator "monitoring" orders and questioning doctors on why they weren't discharging patients.


The Rod vs. Cone Mystery: Why a 55-year-old with 20/20 daytime vision needed an ERG to prove his "rod" photoreceptors were failing.


The 10th-Century Deficiency: Why we’re still seeing Vitamin A deficiency in the US, and how a month of oral supplements can restore vision that seemed permanently gone.


The Anti-VEGF Revolution: How an injection originally designed for chemotherapy totally changed the game for wet Macular Degeneration.


The Vision Insurance Trap: Why being 70 years old with "vision insurance" is a recipe for confusion when you actually have medical cataracts.

To Get Tickets to Wife & Death: You can visit Glaucomflecken.com/live 

We want to hear YOUR stories (and medical puns)! Shoot us an email and say hi! [email protected]

Can’t get enough of us? Shucks. You can support the show on Patreon for early episode access, exclusive bonus shows, livestream hangouts, and much more! –⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ http://www.patreon.com/glaucomflecken⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ 

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If you are interested in buying a book from one of our guests, check them all out here: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.amazon.com/shop/dr.glaucomflecken⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

If you want more information on models I use:

Anatomy Warehouse provides for the best, crafting custom anatomical products, medical simulation kits and presentation models that create a lasting educational impact.  For more information go to Anatomy Warehouse DOT com. Link: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://anatomywarehouse.com/?aff=14⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Plus for 15% off use code: Glaucomflecken15

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A friendly reminder from the G’s and Tarsus: If you want to learn more about Demodex Blepharitis, making an appointment with your eye doctor for an eyelid exam can help you know for sure. Visit ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠http://www.EyelidCheck.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ for more information. 

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This we're joined by one of the few people whose medical comedy I actually enjoy: Dr. Paul Tran. Dr. Tran is a pediatric gastroenterologist who has mastered the art of playing a perpetually anxious med student on TikTok, but in real life, he’s an attending who actually cares about things like "ethics" and "professionalism". We get into the "fodder ability" of different specialties, basically my internal scale of who I can make fun of without getting a strongly worded letter from a board of directors.

We also dive into the high-stakes world of "Flaming Hot Ketosis". It’s a real thing where kids eat so many spicy snacks that their poop turns red, sending parents into a total tailspin thinking it’s a GI bleed. Dr. Tran's face literally lights up when he talks about constipation, and he explains the "PTSD" that causes kids to withhold stool while standing behind a curtain—which, as he points out, is an impressive feat of physics that most adults can’t pull off.

Finally, Kristin and I unveil our new "Tdap-C" framework to help medical professionals navigate the wild west of social media. From disclosing financial conflicts to avoiding the "social media mob," we’re trying to give people a path to success that doesn’t involve losing their license. Plus, I find out that even a GI doctor can fail a "fiber audit," so I feel significantly better about my own diet of goldfish crackers

Takeaways:


Why Dr. Paul Tran is "banking on Vietnamese genes" to keep his med student character believable as he ages.


The "Flaming Hot" snack that creates a fake medical emergency for parents across the country.


Tdap-C: Our new 5-rule framework for medical professionals to stay ethical on social media.


Why you should never trust a child standing perfectly still behind a couch or a curtain.


The "Fiber Audit": Why even the experts are likely only getting half of the fiber they actually need

Want more Dr. Paul Tran:

@alimentaryschool

—

To Get Tickets to Wife & Death: You can visit Glaucomflecken.com/live 

We want to hear YOUR stories (and medical puns)! Shoot us an email and say hi! [email protected]

Can’t get enough of us? Shucks. You can support the show on Patreon for early episode access, exclusive bonus shows, livestream hangouts, and much more! –⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ http://www.patreon.com/glaucomflecken⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ 

Also, be sure to check out the newsletter: https://glaucomflecken.com/glauc-to-me/

If you are interested in buying a book from one of our guests, check them all out here: https://www.amazon.com/shop/dr.glaucomflecken

If you want more information on models I use:

Anatomy Warehouse provides for the best, crafting custom anatomical products, medical simulation kits and presentation models that create a lasting educational impact.  For more information go to Anatomy Warehouse DOT com. Link: https://anatomywarehouse.com/?aff=14 Plus for 15% off use code: Glaucomflecken15

--

A friendly reminder from the G’s and Tarsus: If you want to learn more about Demodex Blepharitis, making an appointment with your eye doctor for an eyelid exam can help you know for sure. Visit ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠http://www.EyelidCheck.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ for more information.

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I just got back from Puerto Rico, where I attended my very first gynecology oncology conference. It turns out that even though we're at opposite ends of the body, ophthalmologists and gynecologists actually share a lot, mostly a love for speculums and organs that dilate.

I’m also diving into the terrifying news of a Florida surgeon recently indicted on manslaughter charges after removing a patient’s liver instead of their spleen. We'll discuss why this level of negligence is so rare and why it often stems from a "Dr. Death" style failure in the medical training system.

After the break, we return to our Thing I Love, Thing I Hate series. I’ll explain why I’m a sucker for toddlers in massive "coke bottle" glasses and how those lenses are actually straightening their eyes and training their brains to see. Then, we move to the "Thing I Hate": Giant Cell Arteritis. It’s a terrifying vascular disease that has been haunting patients since the 10th century, and I’ll explain why a five-minute "blackout" in vision is the ultimate red flag for ophthalmologists.

Takeaways:


One Degree of Separation: How Will found connections between ophthalmology and everything from gynecology to orthopedic bone fractures.


The Manslaughter Precedent: A look at the "egregious" negligence of the Florida spleen-vs-liver case and why criminal charges for doctors remain so rare.


Hyperopic Cutness: Why the "massive eyes" look in kids' glasses is actually a sign of corrective refractive power helping an eye that is too small.


The Amaurosis Red Flag: How a very specific three-to-five-minute "gray out" of vision can signal a stroke or systemic inflammation.


The Steroid Buzz and Burn: Why treating Giant Cell Arteritis requires a brutal, long-term steroid taper that can wreak havoc on a patient’s life for years.

To Get Tickets to Wife & Death: You can visit Glaucomflecken.com/live 

We want to hear YOUR stories (and medical puns)! Shoot us an email and say hi! [email protected]

Can’t get enough of us? Shucks. You can support the show on Patreon for early episode access, exclusive bonus shows, livestream hangouts, and much more! –⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ http://www.patreon.com/glaucomflecken⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ 

Also, be sure to check out the newsletter: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://glaucomflecken.com/glauc-to-me/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

If you are interested in buying a book from one of our guests, check them all out here: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.amazon.com/shop/dr.glaucomflecken⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

If you want more information on models I use:

Anatomy Warehouse provides for the best, crafting custom anatomical products, medical simulation kits and presentation models that create a lasting educational impact.  For more information go to Anatomy Warehouse DOT com. Link: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://anatomywarehouse.com/?aff=14⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Plus for 15% off use code: Glaucomflecken15

--

A friendly reminder from the G’s and Tarsus: If you want to learn more about Demodex Blepharitis, making an appointment with your eye doctor for an eyelid exam can help you know for sure. Visit ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠http://www.EyelidCheck.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ for more information. 

Go to Cozy Earth now for a Buy One Get One Free Pajama Offer from 1/25-2/8! Yes, go to cozyearth.com they are doing a BOGO pajama promo. Just use my Code: KNOCKKNOCKBOGO

Produced by⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Human Content⁠
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