Ask Kati Anything

Narcissism, narcissistic abuse, and NPD get thrown around constantly online, and most of what circulates is wrong. In this episode, licensed marriage and family therapist Kati Morton walks through what narcissistic personality disorder actually is (all nine DSM criteria, and why five or more are required for a diagnosis), the difference between covert and overt narcissism, and the specific behavior patterns that make a relationship abusive: love bombing, gaslighting, trauma bonding, DARVO, flying monkeys, isolation, and intermittent reinforcement. She also covers the gray rock method, the signs you're walking on eggshells in your own home, and how healing from narcissistic abuse actually works.

If you've been wondering whether what you experienced counts, or whether the person in your life is a narcissist or simply selfish and hurtful, this one is for you.

Timestamps
0:00 Everyone thinks everyone's a narcissist
1:07 What narcissistic personality disorder actually is: five of nine criteria
3:20 Covert vs. overt narcissism
9:22 What narcissistic abuse means
9:48 Love bombing, and how it differs from someone just being kind
13:49 Gaslighting
19:11 No accountability, no apology, no repair
22:19 Monitoring, isolation, and turning you against the people who love you
24:22 Trauma bonding and the abuse cycle
27:25 DARVO
30:45 The gray rock method
34:30 Flying monkeys
36:57 Why they aren't nasty all the time
40:02 Intermittent reinforcement
40:47 Signs you're living in this dynamic
43:50 How healing actually happens
46:27 Reconnecting with the people you lost touch with
49:16 A better question than "what's wrong with me"
53:33 Afraid you'll end up with another narcissist

This episode is brought to you by Rebound, offering specialized virtual trauma therapy in all 50 states, founded by survivors and psychologists. Head to https://hellorebound.com/askkatianything to learn more and check your insurance.

Using that link is a direct way to support the podcast, so even if you're only curious, take a minute to look.

Ask Kati Anything ep. 327 | Your mental health podcast, with Kati Morton, LMFT

MY BOOKS
Why Do I Keep Doing This? https://geni.us/XoyLSQ
Traumatized https://geni.us/Bfak0j
Are u ok? https://geni.us/sva4iUY

ONLINE THERAPY
If you're looking for a therapist, BetterHelp can connect you with a licensed online professional: https://betterhelp.com/kati (enjoy 10% off your first month)

This is an affiliate link, which means a portion of your signup helps support the podcast at no extra cost to you.

PARTNERSHIPS
Nick Freeman | nick@biglittlemedia.co

Disclaimer
The information provided in this video is for educational and informational purposes only and is not intended as medical or mental health advice. It should not be used to diagnose or treat any health problem or disease. Always consult with a qualified healthcare professional for diagnosis and treatment. Viewing this content does not establish a therapist-client relationship.
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) is deeply misunderstood, heavily stigmatized, and far more complex than just "being emotional". In this episode of Ask Kati Anything, licensed marriage and family therapist Kati Morton breaks down the official BPD diagnostic criteria from the DSM, explaining how BPD symptoms actually present in real life, therapy offices, and everyday relationships. She explores the underlying fear of abandonment, idealization and devaluation (splitting), identity disturbances, and why BPD so frequently overlaps with PTSD, trauma, and ADHD. Plus, discover actionable evidence-based BPD treatment options like Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT), Schema Therapy, and Mentalization-Based Therapy (MBT) to help manage emotional dysregulation, navigate relationship boundaries, and work toward long-term remission.

Timestamps
00:00 - Introduction to Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD)
01:00 - Why "Personality Disorder" is a Misleading Term
01:55 - How BPD is Diagnosed: DSM Criteria Overview
02:55 - BPD Symptom 1: Fear of Abandonment & Attachment Styles
04:45 - BPD Symptom 2: Splitting, Idealization & Devaluation
07:25 - BPD Symptom 3: Identity Disturbance & Chronic Emptiness
08:31 - BPD Symptom 4: Impulsivity in Daily Life
12:05 - BPD Symptom 5: Recurrent Suicidal Behavior & Self-Harm
16:05 - BPD Symptom 6: Affective Instability (BPD vs Bipolar Disorder)
18:18 - BPD Symptom 7: Chronic Feelings of Emptiness
19:22 - BPD Symptom 8: Inappropriate, Intense Anger
21:53 - BPD Symptom 9: Stress-Related Paranoia & Dissociation
25:14 - Is it BPD or Just Being Emotional?
26:46 - What Does Having "BPD Traits" Mean?
28:49 - BPD vs. Anxiety, ADHD, and PTSD Overlaps
33:25 - The Deep Link Between Childhood Trauma and BPD
40:21 - Why People with BPD Push Loved Ones Away
41:35 - What is Quiet BPD?
43:33 - Can You Have a Healthy Relationship with BPD?
47:53 - Setting Healthy Boundaries Without Triggering Abandonment
53:05 - Can BPD be Cured? Understanding BPD Remission
56:23 - BPD Treatment: Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) Explained
01:04:33 - Alternative Therapies: MBT, Schema Therapy, & TFP
01:08:30 - The Role of Medication in BPD Treatment

YouTube channel: https://www.youtube.com/c/katimorton?sub_confirmation=1

MY BOOKS
Why Do I Keep Doing This? https://geni.us/XoyLSQ
Traumatized https://geni.us/Bfak0j
Are u ok? https://geni.us/sva4iUY

ONLINE THERAPY - Enjoy 10% OFF your first month
If you're looking for a therapist, BetterHelp can connect you with a licensed online professional: https://betterhelp.com/kati This is an affiliate link, which means a portion of your signup helps support the podcast at no extra cost to you.

PARTNERSHIPS
Nick Freeman | nick@biglittlemedia.co

DISCLAIMER
The information provided in this podcast is for educational and informational purposes only and is not intended as medical or mental health advice. It should not be used to diagnose or treat any health problem or disease. Always consult with a qualified healthcare professional for diagnosis and treatment. Viewing this content does not establish a therapist-client relationship.

#mentalhealth #therapist #borderline
Ask Kati Anything ep.326 | Your mental health podcast, with Kati Morton, LMFT
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Navigating attachment dynamics and discussing sensitive, taboo topics in therapy can feel daunting, but understanding how your attachment style influences your mental health is a major step toward healing. In this episode, licensed therapist Kati Morton dives deep into attachment theory, explaining the four primary attachment styles—secure, anxious, avoidant, and disorganized—and how they shape your adult relationships and sessions with your therapist. Kati also addresses how to bring up political differences or uncomfortable topics without fear of judgment, and answers your most pressing community questions.

Timestamps
00:00 - Episode Overview
00:46 - Discussing Uncomfortable & Taboo Topics in Therapy
01:59 - Political Polarization, Media Rage-Bait, and Safe Spaces
07:57 - Why Therapists Keep Personal Opinions Private
15:02 - Examples of Kinks, Religion, and Money in Therapy
18:42 - What is Attachment Theory?
20:35 - "What If You Never Tried to Attach to Your Parents?"

Thank you to this week's sponsors!
REBOUND: visit www.hellorebound.com/askkatianything & check your insurance or get matched with a therapist
ONESKIN: Get 15% off OneSkin with the code KATI at www.oneskin.co/KATI

25:48 - The 4 Attachment Styles in Relationships
28:22 - How Attachment Styles Show Up Under Stress
35:35 - Getting Too Attached to Your Therapist
42:11 - Feeling Lost When Your Therapist Goes on Vacation
46:27 - Red Flag: When a Therapist Shares Their Own Personal Drama
53:38 - Rebuttal: Is the Therapeutic Relationship Transactional or Dangerous?
01:00:23 - Healing Your Attachment Blueprint and Final Thoughts

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/katimorton
My main YouTube channel: https://www.youtube.com/c/katimorton?sub_confirmation=1

Ask Kati Anything ep. 325 | Your mental health podcast, with Kati Morton, LMFT

PUBLISHED BOOKS
Why Do I Keep Doing This? https://geni.us/XoyLSQ
Traumatized https://geni.us/Bfak0j
Are u ok? https://geni.us/sva4iUY

ONLINE THERAPY
If you're looking for a therapist, BetterHelp can connect you with a licensed online professional: https://betterhelp.com/kati - Enjoy 10% off your first month!
(this is an affiliate link, which means a portion of your signup helps support the podcast at no extra cost to you)

SOCIAL
X https://twitter.com/KatiMorton
TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@katimorton
Facebook https://www.facebook.com/katimorton1/
Instagram https://www.instagram.com/katimorton
Pinterest https://www.pinterest.com/katimorton1/
Patreon https://www.katimorton.com/kati-morton-patreon/

https://www.youtube.com/@askkatianything

https://www.youtube.com/@katimorton

PARTNERSHIPS
Nick Freeman | nick@biglittlemedia.co

Disclaimer:
The information provided in this video is for educational and informational purposes only and is not intended as medical or mental health advice. It should not be used to diagnose or treat any health problem or disease. Always consult with a qualified healthcare professional for diagnosis and treatment. Viewing this content does not establish a therapist-client relationship.
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this episode of Ask Kati Anything, licensed therapist Kati Morton breaks down why eating disorders are rarely actually about the food or your body. We look at what’s really happening behind the strict rules, rituals, and need for control, and how these behaviors often show up as survival mechanisms to protect us from deeper stress, trauma, and overwhelm. Whether you’re struggling with restrictive eating, binging, purging, orthorexia, or just feel completely exhausted by your relationship with food, this conversation is here to give you clarity, reduce the shame, and help you understand what your brain is actually trying to tell you.

REBOUND: visit www.hellorebound.com/askkatianything & check your insurance or get matched with a therapistONESKIN: Get 15% off OneSkin with the code KATI at www.oneskin.co/KATI

00:00 - Why eating disorders aren't actually about food
00:40 - Pica: Eating non-food items & nutrient deficiencies
05:41 - ARFID: Sensory food avoidance without body dysmorphia
11:13 - Rumination Disorder: Regurgitation & unspoken shame
14:13 - Anorexia Nervosa: Energy restriction & body checking
17:16 - Bulimia Nervosa: Binging, purging & compensatory rules
20:59 - Binge Eating Disorder: Rapid eating, guilt & secrecy
23:56 - Orthorexia: When clean eating & rules run your life
30:43 - Why eating disorders are actually survival mechanisms
49:35 - How loved ones can offer support without triggering shame

MY BOOKS
Why Do I Keep Doing This? https://geni.us/XoyLSQ
Traumatized https://geni.us/Bfak0j
Are u ok? https://geni.us/sva4iUY

ONLINE THERAPY
If you're looking for a therapist, BetterHelp can connect you with a licensed online professional: https://betterhelp.com/kati (enjoy 10% off your first month)

This is an affiliate link, which means a portion of your signup helps support the podcast at no extra cost to you.

PARTNERSHIPS
Nick Freeman | nick@biglittlemedia.co

Disclaimer:
The information provided in this video is for educational and informational purposes only and is not intended as medical or mental health advice. It should not be used to diagnose or treat any health problem or disease. Always consult with a qualified healthcare professional for diagnosis and treatment. Viewing this content does not establish a therapist-client relationship.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices