The Dad Edge Podcast

Caitlin V is a sexologist, relationship coach, and host of Good Sex on HBO Max who has built a YouTube channel with nearly a million subscribers and over 170 million views, working primarily with men on erectile dysfunction, performance anxiety, premature ejaculation, and the isolation that comes with all three. She started as a sexual health researcher and policy analyst before deciding that change happens in conversations with real people, not in research papers.
This is a live Dad Edge Alliance Q&A where Caitlin takes real questions from married men about a sexless stretch, shame carried into the marriage bed, sex used as leverage, and a marriage that has gone completely touchless. If you have been avoiding the conversation with your wife because the last time you brought it up it went badly, this one gives you the actual script.
 
Timeline Summary
[4:12] – Caitlin's path from sexual health researcher and policy analyst to sexologist and coach
[6:14] – First question, a husband who pushed too hard once and has been gun shy ever since
[9:06] – Why a multi year backlog of unsaid things lands on one conversation and crushes it
[11:01] – The cracked foundation, why repair has to come before any talk about frequency
[13:35] – Reading her green lights and lobbing the flirtation back without adding pressure
[16:33] – Naming the dynamic out loud as an act of leadership instead of a confession
[23:58] – Why "the talk" is the wrong model for sex, with your kids and with your wife
[27:39] – Nature abhors a vacuum, if she doesn't know what sex means to you she fills it in
[31:25] – Anonymous question, premarital sex, religious shame, and less sex after the wedding
[36:51] – The taboo factor, why sanctioned sex can lose the charge that breaking the rule provided
[40:04] – Shame hates light, why you can't clean it out of her and what you can do instead
[47:00] – Anonymous question, sex promised as a thank you that almost never arrives
[53:09] – Why nobody can pre consent, and taking penetration off the required list
[56:09] – What's underneath sex used as leverage, and how to rewrite that agreement together
[59:11] – Anonymous question, a touchless marriage after years of backing off out of respect
[1:03:25] – Betty Martin's Wheel of Consent and the Three Minute Game as the road back to touch
 
5 Key Takeaways
Repair Before Frequency — Asking for more sex when years of unsaid things are still sitting there is like redecorating a living room on a cracked foundation. Go back and own what you didn't say first, then build.
Name the Dynamic Out Loud — Leadership here is not initiating harder, it's surfacing the pattern so you're both looking at the same thing. Say "I haven't been lobbing these back because I'm afraid" instead of waiting for her to move first.
She's Filling In Your Blanks — If your wife doesn't know the texture of what sex actually means to you, she fills that vacuum with social media, her friends, and her parents' marriage. "All you think about is sex" is usually a response to something that was never you.
Warmth With an Invoice — If your past kisses and shoulder rubs came with a hidden price tag, she felt it, and that's why affection now reads as a bid. Own it plainly, then rebuild non-sexual touch on purpose.
Nobody Can Pre Consent — Agreeing to sex tomorrow is like agreeing to salmon for dinner, the appetite can legitimately change. Keep more than intercourse on the table so a shift in the moment isn't a broken promise.
 
Links & Resources
Episode page — https://thedadedge.com/1519
Roommates to Soulmates, Larry's 8 week program, cohort three starts September 16 — https://thedadedge.com/soulmates
Dad Edge Day with the Arizona Cardinals, November 15 at State Farm Stadium — https://thedadedge.com/nfl
Betty Martin's Wheel of Consent and the Three Minute Game — https://www.schoolofconsent.org
Caitlin V's courses, 20% off with code DADEDGE, including Yoni Massage, Come When You Want, Hard As You Want, and Legendary Lover
 
Enjoyed This Episode?
If the "warmth with an invoice" idea landed the way it lands for most guys, you already know which conversation you've been putting off. Send this to a brother who's been quietly telling himself that not bringing it up counts as respecting her. Follow the show, leave a rating and review, and grab the full show notes at https://thedadedge.com/1519

Larry is back in studio with his wife Jessica for part two of their conversation, recorded the week of their 22nd anniversary. Last week they covered how they met and the crucibles that shaped them. This week they get practical about the daily mechanics of a marriage that works: how they got aligned on parenting, how they resolve conflict, and how they back each other up in front of the kids whether they agree or not.
They're candid that none of it came naturally at first. They walk through the parenting classes that helped early on, a hard season with one of their sons that turned out to be driven by a medication reaction, and why setting ego aside to get outside help was the move that saved them repeatedly. Jessica shares what it means to never be emasculated or called a name in thirty years together, and Larry breaks down the guardrails that keep their disagreements calm: no yelling, no name calling, real listening, and a willingness to eat humble pie. If your marriage feels more like managing a household than sharing a life, this one is a window into the operating system of a couple who clearly still like each other.
 
Timeline Summary
[1:02] – Why part two matters, and Jessica joins for parenting and conflict resolution
[4:39] – A new season with an adult son and the land of uncertainty it brings
[6:39] – Bringing the first baby home to a tornado, and every season being new territory
[9:07] – The one thing they nailed early: alignment on parenting styles
[10:21] – Love and Logic, 1-2-3 Magic, and the classes that gave them a shared playbook
[11:34] – A hard season with Mason at 11 and refusing to let ego stop them from getting help
[13:15] – Communication gap: Larry not seeing how bad the mornings really were
[16:39] – Owning that "I have to work" wasn't the support Jessica needed
[17:23] – The real catalyst turned out to be a medication, and the game-changing fix
[18:43] – Having each other's back in front of the kids, no public disagreement
[19:47] – The quiet aside instead of the public callout, coming back as a combined unit
[21:39] – The over-punishment story: stacking consequences on Ethan's grades
[22:54] – Why never being emasculated or disrespected publicly matters so much to a man
[25:44] – The non-negotiable guardrails: no name calling, ever, even joking
[27:15] – Listening without interrupting and keeping voices calm
[30:09] – Tonality, ownership, and a family that apologizes well
[34:32] – Why these habits are their operating system but not most people's
[35:10] – The waterfall of peace: how Jessica's affection quiets Larry's chaos
[36:33] – Not gaslighting a partner who's having a hard day, and giving space to process
[37:30] – The "what did you do all day" mistake and never globalizing with always and never
[40:43] – The deck argument Ethan witnessed and asked if they were divorcing
[42:22] – Ethan's three observations: no yelling, real listening, no name calling
[42:40] – Asking "is there truth to this" to sidestep the ego and defensiveness
[45:02] – The trash story: coming in guns blazing and eating humble pie
[49:11] – Covering for each other's hard seasons with the kids instead of piling on
[50:04] – Favorite memories: the simple stuff, laughter under their own roof
[52:16] – Valuing experiences over stuff, and how that alignment happened
[55:19] – Closing out Mason's last year at home with a bang
[56:53] – The 25 intimate conversation starters that keep them connected
 
5 Key Takeaways
Get Aligned and Get Help Without Ego — The couples who struggle most are often fighting over whose parenting style wins. Larry and Jessica treated hard seasons as problems to solve together, bringing in classes and counselors rather than letting pride keep them stuck.
Have Each Other's Back in Front of the Kids — Never publicly override your spouse's discipline. Handle disagreements privately, then return to the kids as a combined unit. Kids who can't split their parents feel more secure, not less.
Set Guardrails for Conflict — No name calling, no yelling, and real listening while the other person talks. These simple, non-negotiable rules keep disagreements from escalating into damage, and kids notice and absorb them.
Ask "Is There Truth to This" — When your partner brings a criticism, the instinct is to defend. Pausing to genuinely ask whether there's truth in it disarms your ego and turns a potential fight into a conversation. And when you're wrong, apologize fast.
Protect Each Other's Hard Seasons — When one parent is short-tempered or struggling, the other explains it to the kids with grace instead of piling on. Give your partner room to process a bad day rather than gaslighting or nagging them out of it.
 
Links & Resources
Episode page and all links: https://thedadedge.com/1518
25 Intimate Conversation Starters (free PDF and video training): https://thedadedge.com/25questions
Dad Edge Day with the Arizona Cardinals (November 15, Cardinals vs Rams, State Farm Stadium): https://thedadedge.com/nfl
 
Enjoyed This Episode?
If watching Larry and Jessica lay out the guardrails of their marriage gave you something to aim at, pick one and try it this week. Ask "is there truth to this" the next time you feel defensive, or take your spouse through a couple of good questions on your next date night. If the show keeps delivering, follow, rate, and leave a review so more fathers can find these conversations.

Sam Rosenberg has spent his career protecting some of the most recognized people on the planet, heads of state, CEOs, and celebrities including Warren Buffett, Benjamin Netanyahu, and Tom Cruise. A former Marine Corps officer who moved into close protection in 1996, he's since shifted his focus to teaching ordinary people the same skills he used to guard public figures, through his company Live Ready and his bestselling book of the same name. He's trained tens of thousands of people to recognize threats before they become emergencies.
This one is a genuine masterclass in personal safety, and Sam's philosophy anchors it: it's good to have a lifeguard, but you should know how to swim. He and Larry get into why violence is never actually random, how to read a parking lot, the acronym TIME that maps how attackers operate, the normalcy bias that keeps good people from trusting their gut, and persuasion predators, the charming, manipulative threats every dad with a daughter needs to understand. If you want to protect the people who matter most without living in fear, this episode delivers the tools.
 
Timeline Summary
[1:02] – Protecting Netanyahu, the chess match, and embedding covert protection in a crowd
[4:35] – Tom Cruise in Pittsburgh and why he was one of the best to work with
[6:23] – How you even land a gig protecting someone at that level
[8:12] – Protecting Terry Bradshaw at the NFL draft, and why it's all word of mouth
[12:36] – The core philosophy: it's good to have a lifeguard, but you should know how to swim
[14:51] – Sam's full bio, the Marine Corps, Live Ready, and the book
[16:34] – Situational awareness starts with our wives in parking lots
[20:04] – The myth of helplessness and the myth of randomness
[21:44] – Why violence is a process as predictable as boiling water
[22:38] – Attacks happen on arrival and departure, and every environment has a purpose
[24:10] – Watching for the watchers, and the New York City looking up analogy
[26:30] – The creepy guy vibe and why we hunt for evidence to dismiss it
[27:42] – Social contracting, bias, and how it blinds us to real danger
[30:13] – Normalcy bias: the brain's desire for everything to be normal
[32:04] – Breaking down a real, sophisticated parking lot kidnapping on video
[35:36] – The simple bow: trust your intuition even without all the evidence
[37:12] – What that woman could have noticed, and the double-tap unlock habit
[43:14] – The TIME acronym: target selection, intelligence, method of attack, escape
[46:16] – Why street criminals run the same process as terrorists
[49:17] – Can you avoid being targeted? You can influence it, not always prevent it
[52:04] – Charlie Kirk, Butler, and why it has to be stopped in advance
[53:27] – Recognizing the interview means you've already been selected
[56:16] – Hard target versus soft target, and why gimmicks don't work
[57:29] – The undercover story: why street-smart observers saw through his disguise
[1:02:47] – Willingness and ability are all it takes to be a hard target
[1:04:31] – What bad guys are truly afraid of: failure
[1:08:55] – Persuasion predators, masters of charm and disguise
[1:10:31] – Reframing charm: ask why is this person trying to charm me
[1:11:56] – No is a complete sentence, and the veils of denial
[1:13:54] – Sociopaths, the pity play, and the puppy law used on children
 
5 Key Takeaways
Violence Is a Process, Not Random — Attacks follow an observable, predictable sequence. Learning to spot the pattern, especially during arrival and departure moments, is what lets you get ahead of danger instead of reacting to it.
Watch for the Watchers — Every environment has a purpose. Scan left to right for anomalies, people not using the space for its intended purpose, and notice who's watching who's coming and going. That awareness alone makes you a harder target.
Trust Your Radar Over Normalcy Bias — Good people talk themselves out of intuitive warnings because they can't find hard evidence or don't want to seem judgmental. When something feels off, that unease is data. Default to it and remove yourself from the situation.
Recognize the Interview — When a stranger approaches you in an anomalous moment, that's an interview, and it means you've already been selected as a target. How you manage that interaction, with the right body language and enough force, often determines whether an attack proceeds.
Reframe Charm and Hold the Line on No — Teach daughters to ask why is this person trying to charm me rather than being flattered. No is a complete sentence, and anyone who pushes past it is signaling they care only about what they want. A pity play after being caught in lies is a massive red flag.
 
Links & Resources
Episode page and all links: https://thedadedge.com/1517
Sam Rosenberg's company, LiveReady: https://www.liveready.co/
Live Ready by Sam Rosenberg (the book): https://www.liveready.co/book
LiveReady on YouTube (situational awareness and attack breakdowns): https://www.youtube.com/@LiveReadyCo
LiveReady on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/livereadyco
LiveReady on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/LiveReadyCo
LiveReady on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/LiveReadyCo/
LiveReady personal training: https://www.liveready.co/training
Dad Edge Day with the Arizona Cardinals (November 15, Cardinals vs Rams, State Farm Stadium): https://thedadedge.com/nfl
Roommates to soulmates thedadedge.com/soulmates
 
Enjoyed This Episode?
If Sam's breakdown of that parking lot attack made you look at your own routine differently, put one habit to work this week. Get your head up and off your phone during those arrival and departure moments, and have the charm and no conversation with your daughter. If the show keeps delivering, follow, rate, and leave a review so more fathers can find these conversations.

This is a Wednesday Wins Q&A, with Larry joined by his longtime co-host Joe Bailey to tackle a question that lands for almost every married dad. Mike from Washington State wrote in about a marriage that isn't broken, no fighting, no affairs, but feels more like two coworkers running a small company called the family. He and his wife talk schedules, kids, and bills, physical intimacy has slowed, and as he puts it, he misses her even though she's only six feet away.
Larry breaks down the four pillars of marriage from Lance and Brandi's work, individual, partnership, friends, and intimacy, and explains how couples get stuck in the partnership loop and skip straight to intimacy, which backfires. Joe follows with the idea of getting used to the light again after emotional disconnection, releasing resentment, and making small pursuits without attaching expectations. If your marriage feels more like a business partnership than a romance, this one is a practical roadmap back.
 
Timeline Summary
[1:02] – Setting up Mike's question about a marriage that feels like a business partnership
[2:12] – Mike's full letter: coworkers running a company called our family
[3:46] – Larry on his own first decade feeling exactly the same way
[4:05] – The four pillars of marriage from Lance and Brandi's book
[4:46] – Pillar one, individual: self-care and emotional check-ins by percentage
[5:42] – Pillar two, partnership: the bills, roles, and chores, aka the partnership loop
[5:59] – Pillar three, friends: shared interests and real alignment
[6:21] – Pillar four, intimacy, and why it collapses when the others are neglected
[6:47] – How couples skip friendship and self and jump straight to intimacy
[7:26] – Disrupting the partnership loop by cultivating friendship first
[7:49] – The walk-and-date boundary: be Larry and Jessica, not Mom and Dad
[8:13] – Bookending conversations with appreciation so your partner feels seen
[8:30] – Adventuring together and asking bucket-list questions
[9:34] – Why men eradicate their own self-care and isolate
[12:12] – Joe on living this exact dynamic in his own marriage
[12:32] – The dark-theater analogy: getting used to the light again
[13:35] – Step one, release resentment when reconnection feels uncomfortable
[14:02] – Be persistent and stop attaching sex to every act of connection
[14:27] – Small pursuits: flowers and a coffee dropped off at Ivy's work, just because
[15:46] – Small investments compound like a financial portfolio
[16:40] – Stop keeping score and get in the habit of just investing
[16:59] – The car story: we love the things we invest in
[20:07] – Loving your wife publicly and without agenda
[20:44] – Loving her in front of the kids and her mother
[21:48] – The Hitch analogy and winning over the people around her
[22:14] – The marriage hack: your mother in law as your greatest ally
 
5 Key Takeaways
Marriage Has Four Pillars — Individual, partnership, friends, and intimacy. When you neglect self-care, friendship, and quality time and jump straight to intimacy, it falls flat. Intimacy is the natural result of the other three working.
Escape the Partnership Loop — If every conversation is about schedules, bills, and who needs to be where, you're stuck in the partnership loop. Break out by rebuilding the friendship: dates, walks, adventures, and conversations where you're a couple, not just co-parents.
Get Used to the Light Again — After emotional disconnection, reconnecting feels awkward and uncomfortable for both people. Expect that, release resentment about it, and don't attach worst-case scenarios to the discomfort.
Make Small Pursuits Without Agenda — Drop off flowers just because, and don't attach any expectation of sex, because she'll sniff that out instantly. Stop keeping score and keep making small investments, and the connection compounds over time.
We Love What We Invest In — Don't wait to feel the love before you invest. As the car story shows, investment creates love, not the other way around. Love your wife publicly and without agenda, and let her people, especially her mother, become your allies.
 
Links & Resources
Episode page and all links: https://thedadedge.com/1516
Legendary Couple with Larry and Jessica: https://thedadedge.com/legendary-couple/
Dad Edge Day with the Arizona Cardinals (November 15, Cardinals vs Rams, State Farm Stadium): https://thedadedge.com/nfl
 
Enjoyed This Episode?
If Mike's letter read like a page out of your own marriage, pick one small pursuit and do it this week with zero agenda. Drop off her favorite coffee, take a walk where you're just the two of you again, and stop waiting to feel connected before you invest. If the show keeps delivering, follow, rate, and leave a review so more fathers can find these conversations.

This is a special live Q&A recorded inside Apogee, where the hosts turned the tables and interviewed Larry alongside his wife Jessica for a rare joint conversation. Married 23 years with four sons, the two open up about what actually creates safety in a home, and their answer surprises the room: it starts with relentlessly prioritizing the marriage.
From there they get honest about the early years when Larry admits he floundered and didn't lead well, how Jessica learned to call him forward without emasculating him, and why connection always has to come before correction. They talk repair as the true measure of a relationship, letting kids witness the full cycle of a disagreement, and Larry shares the hardest parts of his own story, an estranged mother and a father who left twice, and what forgiveness has and hasn't looked like. If you want a real look inside a marriage that leads, this one delivers.
 
Timeline Summary
[1:05] – Larry and Jessica join Apogee, and the watermelon splitter jokes begin
[5:03] – The Freud quote on a child's need for protection, and Larry's book for his boys
[6:19] – What's really happening in a home when a child feels deeply safe
[7:01] – The frying pan on the back burner: how marriages slide after kids arrive
[8:29] – Marriage as a skill, not just a feeling, and the tactical work it requires
[9:09] – Telling his 12 year old he prioritizes mom, and why that creates safety
[10:04] – The 18 year old who wants to be home because of how his parents love
[11:05] – Jessica on kids modeling what they see, and her daughter wanting flowers
[13:16] – Jessica's loving, family oriented upbringing versus Larry's chaotic one
[15:08] – Jessica's honesty: he did not lead very well in the early years
[15:51] – Calling him forward with love instead of a finger in his face
[17:28] – Connection before correction, and picking one when forced to choose
[20:55] – Why calling someone forward implies connection and trust already exist
[22:08] – Without connection you have no influence, even with your own kids
[23:14] – Having tough conversations through activity: walks, workouts, the range
[23:38] – Hold On to Your Kids and why attachment precedes instruction
[24:51] – Parenting across developmental stages and the two bigs, two littles dynamic
[28:01] – Why Larry found the young years hardest and came alive in the teens
[29:23] – Jessica as the boy mom of empathy, affection, and don't cross me
[30:29] – What repair looks like after losing patience with the kids
[32:22] – Figs O'Sullivan on harmony, disharmony, and quality living in the repair
[33:05] – Growing up with parents who never apologized, and breaking that cycle
[35:05] – Coach Whittle's house rule: if you see the collision, you see the repair
[36:12] – The deck argument Ethan witnessed and the repair he described back
[38:20] – Repairing with your own parents, and the letters Apogee members are writing
[41:53] – Larry's estranged mother, the milk incident, and an unsafe environment
[42:37] – A father who left twice and the Starbucks reunion 18 years later
[43:36] – Mason at 15 asking how he could ever forgive him
[44:34] – Forgive and co-create the future, or live in the past with a grudge
[46:18] – Screen time boundaries, dumb phones, and earning time through fitness
[49:37] – The three page contract for an adult son living at home rent free
[50:28] – Why doom scrolling infuriates Larry, and his own guilt with the work phone
[57:08] – The Apogee host thanks Larry, and an early zoom happy birthday
 
5 Key Takeaways
Protecting Kids Starts With the Marriage — The deepest safety a child feels comes from parents who prioritize each other. It's a long tail game, not a short term action, and kids who see their parents love each other feel warm, safe, and want to be home.
Call Each Other Forward, Don't Tear Down — Jessica changed Larry by naming what she saw with love and respect instead of criticism, which made him want to change. That same energy, connection before correction, is exactly how they lead their sons.
Without Connection You Have No Influence — Kids tune out discipline from someone they don't feel attached to. Building connection first, often through shared activity, makes every hard conversation land far better.
The Relationship Lives in the Repair — Every relationship cycles through harmony, disharmony, and repair, and the quality resides in how you repair. Letting kids witness the whole cycle, including your apology, teaches them it's safe to mess up and own it.
Forgiveness Is a Choice About the Future — Larry's father owned his two abandonments completely and earned a 21 year relationship, while his mother's unsafe patterns went unrepaired. You can forgive and co-create the future, or live your whole life in the past with a grudge.
 
Links & Resources
Episode page and all links: https://thedadedge.com/1507
Dad Edge Day with the Arizona Cardinals (November 15, Cardinals vs Rams, State Farm Stadium): https://thedadedge.com/nfl
Connect with Jessica Hagner: https://thedadedge.com/jessicahagner/
Larry and Jessica interview each other (part one): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_aCcKKv9pXw
Larry and Jessica interview each other (part two): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XsHmnQiROMo&t=138s
Roommates to soulmates thedadedge.com/soulmates
 
Enjoyed This Episode?
If watching Larry and Jessica lead their marriage out loud gave you something to aim at, take one piece into your own home this week. Prioritize your spouse in front of your kids, or let them witness a full repair the next time you lose your patience. If the show keeps delivering, follow, rate, and leave a review so more fathers can find these conversations.