Breaking Free from Narcissistic Abuse

Why does one person in the family end up carrying everything — the blame, the mood, the thing nobody will say out loud? That wasn't a flaw in you. That was a role, and someone cast you in it. 

Scapegoating is bullying that a family agrees not to stop, and it works because it holds the group together at your expense.

This is a highlight from a recent live Q&A, repurposed here as our second weekly podcast segment. In this episode, Kerry breaks down why families choose a scapegoat, why the role follows you into adulthood, and why none of it was ever about you:
• Why scapegoating is really bullying — and why a smear campaign is the same dynamic
• The four reasons a family picks a scapegoat, including the truth-teller who sees too clearly
• What the people who witnessed it learned to do instead of stopping it
• Introjection: how you took in a role that was never yours to carry
• Why the doubt you feel afterward makes sense — and why it was always about them

#NarcissisticAbuse #FamilyScapegoat #BlackSheep #Scapegoating #NarcissisticFamily #TraumaRecovery #NarcissisticAbuseRecovery #MentalHealth #HealingJourney
Submit your question to be answered on air here!
Resources
The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources
First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course
Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support
Follow Kerry!
Youtube
Instagram
TikTok
Facebook
Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust.
As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases.
This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

Why does one person in the family end up carrying everything — the blame, the mood, the thing nobody will say out loud? That wasn't a flaw in you. That was a role, and someone cast you in it. 

Scapegoating is bullying that a family agrees not to stop, and it works because it holds the group together at your expense.

This is a highlight from a recent live Q&A, repurposed here as our second weekly podcast segment. In this episode, Kerry breaks down why families choose a scapegoat, why the role follows you into adulthood, and why none of it was ever about you:
• Why scapegoating is really bullying — and why a smear campaign is the same dynamic
• The four reasons a family picks a scapegoat, including the truth-teller who sees too clearly
• What the people who witnessed it learned to do instead of stopping it
• Introjection: how you took in a role that was never yours to carry
• Why the doubt you feel afterward makes sense — and why it was always about them

#NarcissisticAbuse #FamilyScapegoat #BlackSheep #Scapegoating #NarcissisticFamily #TraumaRecovery #NarcissisticAbuseRecovery #MentalHealth #HealingJourney
Submit your question to be answered on air here!
Resources
The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources
First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course
Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support
Follow Kerry!
Youtube
Instagram
TikTok
Facebook
Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust.
As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases.
This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

What if it only takes him an hour to know exactly how to control you?

That wasn't chemistry. That wasn't "instant connection." A predator ran a background check on your character to know if you had the exact traits he needs to exploit.

In this episode, Dr. Kerry sits down with returning author and expert, Don Hennessy. Hennessy has spent decades working directly with abusive men. He breaks down the calculated, deliberate selection process predators use to identify and groom targets.

Podcast Extra Exclusive Segment
Want to go deeper?

Become a Substack paid subscriber and hear Hennessy's blunt verdict on whether predators can ever truly change — and the one phrase he says you should never say to an abuser again. Get immediate access to this and over 100 other interviews when you subscribe today.
Join here -> https://substack.com/@breakingfreenarcabuse

DON HENNESSY is an author and educator who has spent decades working directly with groups of abusive men to understand the deliberate, calculated psychology behind intimate partner abuse. His work challenges the popular myth that abusers "lose control," arguing instead that their behavior is a conscious strategy — and that recognizing the pattern early is the most effective form of protection.

Books:
The Mind of the Intimate Male Abuser : How He Gets into Her Head: The Mind of the Male Intimate Abuser - https://amzn.to/4wsTSCF
Steps to Freedom: Escaping Intimate Control - https://amzn.to/4g7tRCE
How He Wins: Abusive Intimate Partners Going Free - https://amzn.to/4wxyH2w

#NarcissisticAbuse #NarcissisticAbuseRecovery #NarcissisticPersonalityDisorder #PredatorPsychology #ToxicRelationships
Submit your question to be answered on air here!
Resources
The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources
First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course
Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support
Follow Kerry!
Youtube
Instagram
TikTok
Facebook
Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust.
As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases.
This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

Why do you keep replaying a relationship that's already over — running the same five minutes on a loop, searching for the one detail that will finally make sense of it?
That wasn't you overthinking. That was your nervous system trying to close a case file that has no ending. You survived a partner who gaslit you and switched faces so that the "true" version of them was never verifiable.
This is a highlight from a recent live Q&A, repurposed here as our second weekly podcast segment.
In this episode, Dr. Kerry breaks down why narcissistic relationships in particular trigger relentless rumination, and why logic can't stop it:
Why the gaslighting-and-Jekyll-and-Hyde split that makes it difficult to verify the truth
Why the mental looping can't doesn’t stop
The best practical strategy to disrupt the fight-or-flight spiral
And how to find closure that will never come from them
Submit your question to be answered on air here!
Resources
The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources
First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course
Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support
Follow Kerry!
Youtube
Instagram
TikTok
Facebook
Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust.
As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases.
This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

What if the reason they keep coming back to you has nothing to do with love — and everything to do with boredom? 
In this episode, Dr. Kerry and Lynn Strathdee break down the internal clock that drives narcissistic relationship cycles. How pathological partners idealize, withdraw, only to circle back. This isn’t about the victim—it’s about the dysfunctional nature of the abuser.  
Podcast Extra Exclusive Segment 
Want to go deeper? Become a Substack paid subscriber and learn why owning the traits you don't want people to see in you (your "difficult" side) is actually what protects you from being exploited.  
Get immediate access to this and over 100 other interview with you subscribe today. Join here->https://substack.com/@breakingfreenarcabuse 
LYNN STRATHDEE is a UK-based psychodynamic psychotherapist specializing in echoism, narcissistic abuse recovery, and the unconscious patterns that keep survivors stuck in repeating relationship cycles. A former educator turned therapist, Lynn brings both clinical training and lived experience to her private practice, where she works with clients online and in person. Her approach goes beyond surface-level psychoeducation to the deeper identity work that creates lasting change.  
WEBSITE: https://echoismrecovery.com/ 
Submit your question to be answered on air here!
Resources
The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources
First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course
Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support
Follow Kerry!
Youtube
Instagram
TikTok
Facebook
Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust.
As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases.
This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).