You can afford anything, but not everything. We make daily decisions about how to spend money, time, energy, focus and attention – and ultimately, our life.
How...
The Hidden Psychology of Financial Pressure, with Dr. Sunita Sah
#574: What would you do if someone in authority told you to do something that felt wrong? Most of us like to think we'd speak up, push back, stand our ground. But research tells a very different story.
In fact, when Yale researchers conducted a famous experiment in the 1960s, they found that 65% of people would administer what they believed to be deadly electric shocks to another human being... simply because someone in a lab coat told them to.
Today's guest has spent over 15 years studying why humans comply with authority - even when every fiber of our being is screaming that we shouldn't. And when it comes to our money, this tendency to comply with authority figures - from financial advisors to real estate agents to car salespeople - can cost us dearly.
Dr. Sunita Sah began her career as a physician in the UK's National Health Service. During one particularly exhausting period as a junior doctor, she agreed to meet with a financial advisor who had contacted her at work. That meeting sparked questions that would shape the rest of her career: Why did she feel pressured to trust this advisor, even after learning he had a conflict of interest?
Today, she's a tenured professor at Cornell University, where her groundbreaking research on compliance and influence has been featured in The New York Times and Scientific American. She's advised government agencies, served on the National Commission on Forensic Science, and helps leaders understand the psychology behind why we say "yes" when we really want to say "no."
Whether you're meeting with a financial advisor, negotiating the price of a home, or discussing rates with a contractor, understanding the psychology of compliance could save you thousands of dollars - and help you make better financial decisions. Today's conversation isn't just about psychology - it's about protecting your wealth by learning when and how to say "no."
Resources Mentioned in the Episode:
- Website: sunitasah.com
- Newsletter: Defiant by Design on Substack
- Connect with Dr. Sah on LinkedIn
- Follow Dr. Sah on Instagram
About Dr. Sunita Sah
Dr. Sunita Sah is a tenured professor at Cornell University specializing in organizational psychology. Her research focuses on how and why people comply with authority, even against their better judgment. A former physician in the UK's National Health Service, Dr. Sah brings a unique perspective to understanding human behavior and decision-making. Her work has been featured in leading publications including The New York Times and Scientific American, and she has served as a Commissioner on the National Commission on Forensic Science.
Timestamps:
Note: Timestamps will vary on individual listening devices based on dynamic advertising run times. The provided timestamps are approximate and may be several minutes off due to changing ad lengths.
0:00 Intro
4:00 Most people follow authority against their own judgment
7:01 Dr. Sah meets a pushy financial advisor as a young doctor
9:55 Why conflict-of-interest disclosures backfire
12:16 "Insinuation anxiety" makes us cave under pressure
14:13 The "sales pitch effect" creates unwanted obligation
17:29 Growing up conditioned to comply as a South Asian daughter
20:34 Career paths: following passion vs family expectations
27:29 The Milgram experiments reveal our tendency to obey
35:28 Using "quiet defiance" to resist pressure
42:20 Why managers misunderstand employee silence
46:43 Five elements that separate consent from compliance
53:03 Building defiance through small daily practices
58:13 The power of the pause in decision-making
1:02:54 Five stages to recognize and act on resistance
1:18:22 How to develop your personal style of defiance
For more information, visit the show notes at https://affordanything.com/episode574
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1:31:22
Q&A: Wait, Are We All Wrong About Zero APR Strategies?
#573: An anonymous caller has always put her large purchases on zero percent APR credit cards, but something’s been nagging at her. Is she walking on thin ice with this strategy?
Von is confused why he keeps hearing that Roth accounts are better than traditional if they both lead to the same mathematical result. What’s he missing?
Molly and her husband are well on their way to financial independence, but they feel unfulfilled with their careers. Can they afford to plunge into student debt with a 50 percent pay cut?
Former financial planner Joe Saul-Sehy and I tackle these three questions in today’s episode.
Enjoy!
P.S. Got a question? Leave it at https://affordanything.com/voicemail
For more information, visit the show notes at https://affordanything.com/episode573
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
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57:46
Your Last Thoughts Won't Be About Money, with Dr. Jordan Grumet
#572: At age 7, Dr. Jordan Grumet lost his father. This early loss shaped his career path — he became a physician, following in his dad's footsteps. But by 2010, feeling burned out from internal medicine, he took an unexpected turn: he became a hospice doctor.
In this episode, Dr. Grumet joins us to discuss what he's learned from thousands of conversations with people in their final days.
These discussions have revealed a pattern: people don't typically regret their bank balance on their deathbed. Instead, they regret not pursuing the activities and dreams that truly lit them up.
Dr. Grumet explains the difference between what he calls "Big P Purpose" versus "little p purpose." Big P Purpose involves major life goals like becoming president or curing cancer. Little p purpose, by contrast, focuses on the process — finding activities you enjoy regardless of the outcome.
He shares the story of a young professional who loved competitive cycling. While working a demanding nonprofit job, this person started fixing bikes at races on weekends. This side project combined his skills and passion, eventually creating enough income for him to reduce his full-time hours.
Dr. Grumet introduces three key concepts for building more purpose into your life:
- Joy of Addition: Add activities that excite you, even if just for 15 minutes daily
- Art of Subtraction: Remove activities that drain you
- Substitution: When you can't add or subtract, swap one activity for another
He emphasizes that money isn't the only tool for creating change. Youth, energy, relationships, skills and community can be equally valuable resources. A 22-year-old might lack funds but has the advantage of time and stamina that a 51-year-old doesn't possess.
Dr. Grumet references the Harvard Adult Developmental Health Study, which found that strong relationships — not achievements or money — most strongly correlate with happiness. He suggests that pursuing activities you enjoy naturally leads to building these vital connections.
The episode closes with a powerful story about his grandfather, who loved math and became an accountant in the 1950s.
This passion influenced Dr. Grumet's mother to become a CPA, which in turn helped young Jordan develop confidence in math, despite his reading challenges. Years later, this mathematical thinking helped him diagnose a rabbi's rare condition — proving how small actions can create ripple effects across generations.
Timestamps:
Note: Timestamps will vary on individual listening devices based on dynamic advertising run times. The provided timestamps are approximate and may be several minutes off due to changing ad lengths.
0:00 Introduction to Dr. Grumet, hospice doctor discussing end-of-life insights
1:06 Transition from medicine to hospice as side hustle
2:21 Hospice shifts from medical to emotional care
4:12 Palliative care vs hospice care explained
5:05 Age range of hospice patients
6:55 Life priorities and deathbed regrets
13:46 Harvard Adult Developmental Health Study on happiness
20:00 Purpose, happiness and flow states
26:35 Joy of Addition and Art of Subtraction explained
33:30 Using youth when lacking money
41:18 Calendar evaluation strategies
48:45 Managing family disappointment
56:08 Regrets as purpose anchors
1:03:26 Common end-of-life regrets
1:09:06 Small actions, big legacy
For more information, visit the show notes at https://affordanything.com/episode572
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1:21:32
Q&A: When Your Crypto Bet Pays Off TOO Well
#571: An anonymous caller’s crypto investments have recently skyrocketed to 17 percent of her investment portfolio. Given the volatility of this asset, should she rebalance it or go all in?
Jocelyn wants to buy a house in three years but she’s reluctant to keep her sizable down payment in cash. What if she splits the difference and invests half the money instead?
Allison feels antsy holding $1 million in cash with falling interest rates on the horizon. How does she optimize this money while keeping it liquid enough to buy a house on an uncertain timeline?
Former financial planner Joe Saul-Sehy and I tackle these three questions in today’s episode.
Enjoy!
P.S. Got a question? Leave it at https://affordanything.com/voicemail.
For more information, visit the show notes at https://affordanything.com/episode571
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
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1:15:35
The Compound Effect of 52 Tiny Financial Changes
Grab your free copy of the 52-week guide to micro-improvements at https://affordanything.com/financialgoals
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In 2012, the British cycling team pulled off what seemed impossible. After 76 years of losses, they won the Tour de France, took second place, and grabbed 8 Olympic gold medals. Their secret? Tiny improvements that added up to massive change.
That's the philosophy behind "One Tweak a Week," a year-long financial roadmap broken into 52 small, manageable steps. Each tweak takes less than an hour — many just minutes — but compound into significant financial progress over time.
The plan breaks down into four quarters. Quarter 1 lays the groundwork with foundational habits like writing a financial motivation statement, calculating net worth, and choosing key metrics to track. It's about getting clear on where you stand and where you're headed.
Quarter 2 shifts focus to optimizing your money. You'll track prices, adjust thermostat settings to cut energy costs, create a "fun fund" for guilt-free spending, and develop strategies for charitable giving. This quarter also tackles professional development and emergency medical expense planning.
In Quarter 3, the focus turns to systematic improvements — maintaining proper tire pressure to save on fuel, capturing work-from-home savings, planning for seasonal expenses, and building a buffer for unexpected price increases.
Quarter 4 wraps up with fine-tuning your system. You'll evaluate housing options, manage variable food costs, set micro-saving challenges, and create strategies for handling market uncertainty.
The approach mirrors what British cycling performance director Dave Brailsford calls "the 1 percent margin for improvement." He transformed the team by focusing on tiny details — everything from athlete hand-washing techniques to bringing specific mattresses to hotels for better sleep. Even painting the maintenance floor white to better spot problematic dust on bike gears.
Like Brailsford's approach, these financial tweaks might seem small on their own. But together, they create a comprehensive system for building lasting wealth.
The guide is available at affordanything.com/financialgoals.
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You can afford anything, but not everything. We make daily decisions about how to spend money, time, energy, focus and attention – and ultimately, our life.
How do we make smarter decisions? How do we think from first principles?
On the surface, Afford Anything seems like a podcast about money and investing.
But under the hood, this is a show about how to think critically, recognize our behavioral blind spots, and make smarter choices. We’re into the psychology of money, and we love metacognition: thinking about how to think.
In some episodes, we interview world-class experts: professors, researchers, scientists, authors. In other episodes, we answer your questions, talking through decision-making frameworks and mental models.
Want to learn more? Download our free book, Escape, at http://affordanything.com/escape. Hosted by Paula Pant.
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