Emotional Intelligence: Your Greatest Asset and Key to Success

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In this episode host Dr. Jami Carlacio speaks with Casey Arrillaga — clinical social worker, chemical dependency counselor, author, and long-time person-in-recovery — about the often-ignored intersection of spirituality and money. Casey shares his personal journey from ambivalence and debt to applying spiritual principles (and 12‑step recovery tools) to his finances. He recounts early life contradictions about money, runaway credit‑card debt, financial enabling in marriage, multiple moves and job changes, and the moment of radical surrender when he agreed to turn his financial will over to his Higher Power. Casey explains what “turning money over” practically meant for him (asking for guidance rather than expecting miracles), how recovery principles helped him pay off debt, and how over time that surrender shifted from fear-avoidance to moving toward peace and blessing. The conversation closes with a tease for part two — bringing spirituality into business — and a musical clip tied to the episode’s theme: “I’m on your side.”
Key Takeaways
Spirituality and money can and should be discussed together — they’re not mutually exclusive.
Early messages about money are often mixed (e.g., abundance vs. judgment), which creates lifelong ambivalence and shame around finances.
Addiction, avoidance, and financial mismanagement often co-occur; tools that help with addiction (honesty, inventory, sponsorship, step work) can be applied to finances.
“Turning your finances over to a Higher Power” doesn’t mean God writes your checks — it means seeking guidance and asking, “What is the next right step?” rather than trying to control every outcome.
Radical surrender can be terrifying: fear that the Higher Power’s plan won’t match one’s personal ambitions is a real barrier to spiritual financial work.
Practical recovery-based financial tactics work: prioritizing and attacking high-interest debt, making minimums on others, and applying the “snowball/avalanche” method helped Casey become debt‑free.
Even after debt is paid, financial serenity may still be missing — true peace requires ongoing spiritual practice and daily guidance, not just solvency.
Spiritual guidance functions as a daily compass: small, actionable prompts (the “next right step”) are more useful than seeing the whole road ahead.
Over time, spiritual practice shifts motivation from avoiding pain/consequences to moving toward blessing, peace, and lasting recovery.
Integrating spirituality into business practices is the next phase of Casey’s story — applying the same principles to earning and running a business (to be continued in part two).

Episode Notes
Guest: Casey Arrillaga — author and clinician; host of Addiction and the Family podcast. (See caseyauthor.com for more.)
This episode is the first of a two-part conversation; part two will explore applying spirituality directly to business and entrepreneurship.
Musical clip: Casey’s band (featuring his wife) — song excerpt “I’m On Your Side” used at episode close.
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Want to learn how to build your EQ?  Let's meet to see if working together is good fit.  
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Join me and my guest Amanda Hinman, who shares her holistic approach to helping women overcome hormone imbalances and reclaim their vitality through functional medicine, emotional intelligence, and nervous system support. In this episode, we discuss 

• The connection between gut health, hormones, stress, and emotional intelligence
• How to identify the signals your body sends through symptoms
• Why you need to look beneath the surface of health issues to find root causes
• How you can avoid the "why bother syndrome" that prevents sustainable health changes
• The value in having a personalized approach based on your unique body's needs
• How to eat for hormonal balance rather than restrictive dieting
• Why a shift from a to-do list approach to an identity-based health transformation is vital to your health
• How to use the "alter ego" technique to embody your healthiest self
• How you can integrate emotional intelligence practices to support physical healing
• Why it's important to build proactive habits that increase your capacity to handle life's challenges

Amanda's links:
Join me and my guest Amanda Hinman, who shares her holistic approach to helping women overcome hormone imbalances and reclaim their vitality through functional medicine, emotional intelligence, and nervous system support. In this episode, we discuss 

• The connection between gut health, hormones, stress, and emotional intelligence
• How to identify the signals your body sends through symptoms
• Why you need to look beneath the surface of health issues to find root causes
• How you can avoid the "why bother syndrome" that prevents sustainable health changes
• The value in having a personalized approach based on your unique body's needs
• How to eat for hormonal balance rather than restrictive dieting
• Why a shift from a to-do list approach to an identity-based health transformation is vital to your health
• How to use the "alter ego" technique to embody your healthiest self
• How you can integrate emotional intelligence practices to support physical healing
• Why it's important to build proactive habits that increase your capacity to handle life's challenges

Amanda's links:
Website: https://hinmanholistic.com
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/hinmanamanda/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/hinmanholistic
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@UC24Q7hA6puPjBSyB9TtzOew 
Free Assessment: https://hinman-holistic.squarespace.com/hormone-health-kit
Support the show
Want to learn how to build your EQ?  Let's meet to see if working together is good fit.  
* Calendar: https://calendly.com/jami-carlacio/virtual-coffee 
* Email:  jami@jamicarlacio.com (mailto:%20jami@jamicarlacio.com) 
* Find out more about my coaching services: https://jamicarlacio.com
* LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/jami-carlacio/
* FaceBook: https://www.facebook.com/jamicarlacioEQ   
* Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/jamicarlacio1/
* YouTube: https://tinyurl.com/jamicarlacio1
* TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@jcarlacio
* Substack: https://substack.com/@eqmaven
* I'd appreciate your support the show by buying me a cup of coffee: https://www.buzzsprout.com/2167520/supporters/new

I'd love to hear from you!
Have you ever recognized a pattern in yourself that you desperately wanted to change, yet found yourself repeating the same behaviors over and over? The disconnect between awareness and transformation is where many personal development journeys stall. 

In this profound conversation with business consultant Martijn Lemmens, we dive deep into the revolutionary methodology of Psyche-K, a powerful approach to reprogramming the subconscious mind. Martijn shares how our life scripts are largely written during our first seven years, creating patterns that might have served us as children but can become limiting as adults.

What makes this episode particularly valuable is the practical four-step process Martijn outlines for creating lasting change: identifying your current state, clarifying what you truly want (not just what you don't want), performing a "balance" to reprogram limiting beliefs, and taking concrete action in the world. This framework bridges the gap between internal work and external results.

We explore fascinating parallels between Psyche-K, neurolinguistic programming, and emotional intelligence—revealing how befriending our inner critics rather than fighting against them creates space for transformation. Martijn shares compelling client stories, including one woman who realized she needed to "put herself on her own pedestal" rather than elevating everyone around her.

Perhaps most powerful is the realization that while we can't control external circumstances, we always have dominion over our inner world. "The whole world can be against me. My internal world can be beautiful as long as I believe in myself," Martijn observes. This shift in perception creates what feels like everyday miracles as new possibilities emerge.

Whether you're a business leader seeking to overcome perfectionism, someone struggling with people-pleasing tendencies, or simply curious about the connection between subconscious programming and daily life, this conversation offers practical wisdom and transformative insights for creating lasting change.

Martijn's Website: https://www.dewerff.net/en/
Psych K: https://www.dewerff.net/en/psych-k/
LinkedIN: https://www.linkedin.com/in/martijnlemmens/
Martijn's Podcast: https://podfol.io/profile/martijn-lemmens
Support the show
Want to learn how to build your EQ?  Let's meet to see if working together is good fit.  
* Calendar: https://calendly.com/jami-carlacio/virtual-coffee 
* Email:  jami@jamicarlacio.com (mailto:%20jami@jamicarlacio.com) 
* Find out more about my coaching services: https://jamicarlacio.com
* LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/jami-carlacio/
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* Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/jamicarlacio1/
* YouTube: https://tinyurl.com/jamicarlacio1
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* Substack: https://substack.com/@eqmaven
* I'd appreciate your support the show by buying me a cup of coffee: https://www.buzzsprout.com/2167520/supporters/new

I'd love to hear from you!
Have you ever felt trapped by your own inability to say "no"? In this powerful conversation with boundaries coach Barb Nangle, we explore how setting healthy limits can transform your life from constant people-pleasing to genuine freedom.

Barb shares her remarkable personal journey that began when she invited a homeless man to stay in her home during a snowstorm – a seemingly kind gesture that quickly spiraled into feeling trapped in her own space. This crisis point led her to discover 12-step recovery programs and the profound concept of "reparenting" herself. As she explains, many of us grew up in environments where dysfunction was normalized, leaving us without models for healthy boundaries.

The conversation delves into practical strategies for developing an "inner loving parent" to counter the harsh inner critic most of us carry within. Barb introduces the transformative concept of "info, not ammo" – using self-knowledge as information for growth rather than ammunition for self-criticism. This shift from judgment to curiosity creates space for genuine healing and empowerment.

What makes this episode particularly valuable is the honest examination of how uncomfortable boundary-setting can feel initially. Many people describe feeling like they might "die" when first establishing limits, especially if they've spent a lifetime in enmeshed relationships. Yet as Barb powerfully states, "Choose your difficult – do you want difficulties to last forever and get worse over time, or do you want to go through a very difficult time for a brief period and then have healing on the other side?"

Whether you struggle with people-pleasing, feel responsible for everyone's happiness, or simply want more freedom in your relationships, this conversation offers practical wisdom for building the boundaries that will transform your life. Subscribe now and discover how emotional intelligence can become your greatest asset and key to success.
Barb's links:
Free Boundary-Building Starter Kit: boundariesstarterkit.com 
podcast: fragmentedtowhole.com 
https://higherpowercc.com 
https://www.linkedin.com/in/barbnangle/ 
https://www.instagram.com/higherpowercoaching/ https://www.youtube.com/@higherpowercoaching https://www.facebook.com/HigherPowerCoaching
Support the show
Want to learn how to build your EQ?  Let's meet to see if working together is good fit.  
* Calendar: https://calendly.com/jami-carlacio/virtual-coffee 
* Email:  jami@jamicarlacio.com (mailto:%20jami@jamicarlacio.com) 
* Find out more about my coaching services: https://jamicarlacio.com
* LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/jami-carlacio/
* FaceBook: https://www.facebook.com/jamicarlacioEQ   
* Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/jamicarlacio1/
* YouTube: https://tinyurl.com/jamicarlacio1
* TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@jcarlacio
* Substack: https://substack.com/@eqmaven
* I'd appreciate your support the show by buying me a cup of coffee: https://www.buzzsprout.com/2167520/supporters/new

I'd love to hear from you!
Join us for an enlightening discussion with Doug Smith, a pioneer in the field of behavioral health services, as we uncover the revolutionary world of Emotional Attachment Behavioral Therapy (EABT). Doug's personal journey from a household marred by addiction to becoming a beacon of hope in addiction medicine adds a unique and powerful perspective to our conversation. We explore how early intervention and understanding attachment styles can be pivotal in preventing substance use disorders, offering a groundbreaking approach to tackle the addiction crisis with compassion and innovation.

Witness the transformative power of gratitude and community in the recovery journey. Doug and I share heartfelt experiences that highlight the camaraderie among those in recovery, akin to survivors who’ve weathered the storm and emerged with a new zest for life. We discuss the profound impact of being part of the "no matter what club," underscoring the unwavering commitment to sobriety. By drawing parallels between overcoming addiction and surviving life-threatening challenges, we illuminate how recovery fosters resilience, hope, and a deep appreciation for life’s simple joys.

Our exploration continues into the realm of attachment styles and their influence on emotional intelligence and personal growth. Discover how different attachment styles—secure, anxious, avoidant, and fearful—shape our behaviors and relationships. Doug shares insights into therapies like EABT and EMDR, which can help cultivate empathy and healthier coping mechanisms. As we shed light on overcoming perfectionism and nurturing self-care, you’ll find practical strategies to foster self-compassion and balance. Engage with us on this insightful journey, as we aim to inspire personal growth and emotional healing for a healthier, more connected future.
Show Notes
Emotional Attachment Behavioral Therapy
https://www.learneabt.com/
Emotional Attachment Quiz
https://www.learneabt.com/eabt-quiz
Contact Doug Smith
https://www.learneabt.com/contact-us
 
Music by Green Day, “Wake Me Up When September Ends”
https://youtu.be/NU9JoFKlaZ0?si=LYqOK9jNYkRUcJ7J
Support the show
Want to learn how to build your EQ?  Let's meet to see if working together is good fit.  
* Calendar: https://calendly.com/jami-carlacio/virtual-coffee 
* Email:  jami@jamicarlacio.com (mailto:%20jami@jamicarlacio.com) 
* Find out more about my coaching services: https://jamicarlacio.com
* LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/jami-carlacio/
* FaceBook: https://www.facebook.com/jamicarlacioEQ   
* Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/jamicarlacio1/
* YouTube: https://tinyurl.com/jamicarlacio1
* TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@jcarlacio
* Substack: https://substack.com/@eqmaven
* I'd appreciate your support the show by buying me a cup of coffee: https://www.buzzsprout.com/2167520/supporters/new