328. The neuroscience of raising emotionally resilient kids: Supporting your child’s emotional growth and regulation with Dr. Kristen Lindquist
Neuroscientist and psychologist Dr. Kristen Lindquist joins me for a fascinating conversation about how children develop emotional regulation — and how we as parents can support that growth not just through what we say, but how and when we say it. Together we explore: Why the ability to feel and name emotions is something children build slowly over time — and what role parents play in that process. What neuroscience reveals about how the brain develops emotional literacy from infancy through adolescence (and even into adulthood!) How emotion regulation is like a “software update” that builds on the brain’s existing “hardware.” Why the timing of emotional teaching matters — and how to use the “before” and “after” moments (not the meltdowns themselves!) for the most impact. How tools like play, books, and nonverbal attunement can build emotional awareness without overwhelming sensitive or avoidant kids. The role of interoception — our sense of internal bodily cues — in helping kids (and adults) understand and manage what they feel. If you’ve ever tried to label your child’s feelings mid-tantrum and been met with more screaming, or felt unsure how to help your child build real coping tools, this episode will help you take a science-backed, developmentally informed approach that fosters connection and long-term resilience. LEARN MORE ABOUT MY GUEST: 🔗 https://www.kristenalindquist.com/ 🔗 https://psychology.osu.edu/people/lindquist.83 ADDITIONAL REFERENCES AND RESOURCES: 👉🏻 Want more games specifically designed for fostering emotion regulation? Go to drsarahbren.com/games to get my ✨FREE✨ guide packed with games you can play with kids of all ages! 👉🏻 Want to get my research-backed framework for increasing cooperation and emotion regulation skills so you can get back to enjoying parenthood? Check out Parenting by Design, my guided program for increasing behavioral and emotional regulation in sensitive kids. CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE: 🎧 24. The psychology behind dysregulation with founder of Parenting Translator Cara Goodwin 🎧 06. Teaching children emotion regulation skills through coregulation with Dana Rosenbloom 🎧 202. Regulation, reward systems, and rest: Rewiring the way our kids interact with screens with Alé Duarte
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327. Q&A: What’s the best way to explain and prepare my toddler for my upcoming surgery without scaring them?
Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Emily Upshur and I talk about... How to prepare a toddler for a parent’s surgery or temporary physical limitations in a way that is honest, concrete, and not scary. Creative, developmentally appropriate ways to help your child understand and process upcoming changes to routines—like playtime, bedtime, or physical closeness. The power of play, role-playing with toys, and using analogies to help kids grasp abstract concepts. What to expect behaviorally from your child during your recovery and strategies for responding to potential regressions or increased irritability. How to reframe this period as a chance to foster independence and pride in your child while still maintaining connection. The surprising importance of shifting focus to what you still can do with your child, and how to create new, meaningful rituals during a difficult time. Why prioritizing your own healing—both physically and emotionally—is one of the most supportive things you can do for your child. ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE: 🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about how to understand toddlerhood with the authors of the Terrific Toddlers series 🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about how to tell your toddler you're pregnant 🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about telling your toddler about a miscarriage WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU: Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!
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326. When your partner feels like a roommate: Why couples can feel disconnected after kids and what to do to reconnect with Chelsea Skaggs
Chelsea Skaggs is here to talk about how couples can keep your romantic relationship strong as you move beyond from early stages of survival mode deeper into parenthood. Together we explore: How the demands of parenting shift as your children grow, and what that means for your romantic connection. Tips for getting your partner on board if only one of you feels ready to work on deepening your connection. Simple and practical strategies for attuning to your partner and "reading" the room for your best chance of success feeling a deepened connection. Navigating mismatched energy levels and intentions so bids for connection aren’t thwarted. A power tool anyone can implement right away that can be help you to break out of reactive patterns. How your own nervous system regulation can be a starting point for closeness, including what polyvagal theory teaches us about this. Addressing resentment as a signal of unmet needs—and how to get to the root rather than staying stuck in this toxic loop. Why it’s essential to focus on what’s within your control and give yourself permission to care for yourself, instead of blaming your partner for meeting their needs. If you’re ready to move beyond just getting through the day and reconnect with your partner in a deeper way, this conversation is for you. LEARN MORE ABOUT MY GUEST: 🔗 https://www.postpartumtogether.com/ 🎧 57. Sex after baby: How to reconnect and increase intimacy with your partner with Chelsea Skaggs ADDITIONAL REFERENCES AND RESOURCES: 👉🏻 Click HERE for my workshop, Be the Calm in Your Child's Storm: How to Keep Your Cool When Your Child Loses Theirs, to get the exact therapeutic interventions I use with my patients that can change the way your brain and body interprets your child’s dysregulation to help you stay cool in the heat of the moment. CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE: 🎧 59. Sex after baby part II: When we want to want it but we're just touched out 🎧 244. Understanding parental dysregulation: How to identify and manage your triggers with Dr. Amber Thornton 🎧 148. Unlocking the power of polyvagal theory: Using the nervous system to wire our children for resilience, with Seth Porges 🎧 115. Q&A: Can you get stuck in a state of fight-or-flight?
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325. Q&A: What should I do if my partner and I disagree on how to handle our child’s ADHD?
Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg, Dr. Emily Upshur, and I talk about... What you can do if you’re wondering: “Is my kid’s ADHD diagnosis real or do I have an active 10-year-old kid?” How to evaluate the accuracy of a diagnosis and what steps to take if you’re unsure or want a second opinion. Practical tools you can use to support your child—diagnosis or not. Strategies for becoming more aligned with your partner on how to handle parenting challenges and support your child's needs. What is a behavioral observation tracker, and how it can help you decide which interventions would be most helpful to use. The surprising truth about warmth and respect and why erring more on the side of warmth might actually be the key to creating change. (Want to learn more about parenting styles? Check out our episode on the benefits of authoritative parenting.) The parenting patterns we can become entrenched in, and a path forward to getting more on the same page. REFERENCES AND RELATED RESOURCES: 👉🏻 At Upshur Bren Psychology Group, we offer a range of services including parenting coaching, neuropsychological evaluations, and ADHD-focused support groups for both kids and parents. Whether you're looking to better understand your child’s diagnosis, explore tools and strategies that actually work, or get on the same page with your co-parent, we’re here to help. Go to upshurbren.com or SCHEDULE A FREE CALL to learn more about the available resources for your unique needs. 👉🏻 Click HERE to download my free guide on effectively disciplining your child with strategies that don't utilize shame or guilt - but still work to get your child to behave! ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE: 🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about neuropsych evaluations with Dr. Yael Rothman & Dr. Katia Fredriksen 🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about helping your child with ADHD utilize school support systems without feeling embarrassed 🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about connecting and supporting your neurodiverse child with Dr. Norrine Russell WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU: Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!
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324. Peaceful Parenting strategies for navigating tantrums, big feelings, screen time and more with Dr. Laura Markham
Clinical psychologist and author of the bestselling Peaceful Parent, Happy Kids, Dr. Laura Markham joins me for a rich conversation about what peaceful parenting really means — and how it can help you set firm, loving limits while staying deeply connected to your child. Together we explore: Why connection, not control, is the true foundation of cooperation and emotional resilience. What setting limits with empathy looks like in real life (and why it’s not the same as being permissive). The surprising way laughter can help your child release built-up stress and unshed tears. Practical tools to respond to big feelings like anger, sadness, and aggression — without adding more fuel to your child's fire. Why behaviorism often oversimplifies how kids learn and grow and what advances in neuroscience reveal are how humans actually learn best. Why the goal of parenting isn’t perfectly calm, compliant kids — but helping them build the neural wiring for lifelong emotional regulation. If you’ve ever felt torn between being “too strict” or “too soft,” or overwhelmed by the endless parenting advice out there, this episode will help you zoom out, get grounded, and focus on what really matters for your child — and for you. LEARN MORE ABOUT MY GUEST: 📚 https://www.peacefulparenthappykids.com/ 📚 Peaceful Parent, Happy Kids: How to Stop Yelling and Start Connecting 📚 Peaceful Parent, Happy Kids Workbook: Using Mindfulness and Connection to Raise Resilient, Joyful Children and Rediscover Your Love of Parenting 📚 Peaceful Parent, Happy Siblings: How to Stop the Fighting and Raise Friends for Life ADDITIONAL RESOURCES: 👉🏻 Go to drsarahbren.com/discipline to download my free guide on effectively disciplining your child with strategies that don't utilize shame or guilt - but still work to get your child to behave! 👉🏻 Go to drsarahbren.com/bethecalm for my workshop, Be the Calm in Your Child's Storm: How to Keep Your Cool When Your Child Loses Theirs, to get the exact therapeutic interventions I use with my patients that can change the way your brain and body interprets your child’s dysregulation to help you stay cool in the heat of the moment. CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE: 🎧 39. Understanding parenting styles and the benefits of an authoritative approach: Q&A with Dr. Emily Upshur 🎧 06. Teaching children emotion regulation skills through coregulation with Dana Rosenbloom 🎧 234. Parenting with the “Whole-Brain”: How to work with the brain rather than fight against with Dr. Dan Siegel
Securely Attached is your go-to parenting podcast, supporting moms and dads from pregnancy all the way through their child's adolescence and every stage in between.
Join us every Tuesday as clinical psychologist and mom of two Dr. Sarah Bren shares her expertise and interviews top experts in the field, simplifying complicated concepts and pulling back the curtain on the brain science and psychology that drives and shapes the parent-child relationship.
And now, every Thursday, Dr. Sarah Bren is joined by Dr. Emily Upshur and Dr. Rebecca Hershberg for a special segment, Beyond The Sessions. We’re answering YOUR parenting questions from the perspective of clinical psychologists highly trained in developmental science and real-life moms who get that parenting is messy, and sometimes we have to laugh, cry, and throw out the “rules.”
From toddler tantrums, to effective discipline strategies, to leaning into the principles of respectful parenting, and to managing your own mental wellness as a parent—this podcast is your ultimate resource for judgment-free, research-backed information you know you can trust.
About Sarah Bren, PhD
Dr. Sarah Bren is a licensed clinical psychologist and mom of two who helps parents understand the building blocks of child development and how secure relationships form and thrive. Her work is focused on helping parents find their inner confidence so they can respond to any parenting problem that comes along and raise kids who are healthy, resilient, and kind.
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