321. Q&A: What is the best response to my kid who is constantly saying, “I’m bored”?
Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg and I talk about... When your child says “I’m bored” does that actually mean they are? How to decode their language to get to the root of their struggles. What is a developmentally appropriate amount of time parents can expect of their children to play independently? What is a “bored list” and a “bored box” and how can you create these tools to help with the summer slump. How self-regulation and executive functioning play a part in your child’s feelings of boredom and how understanding this can help you scaffold more effectively. How to use a few minutes of connection time as a bridge into helping your child become engrossed in an activity on their own. A trick for determining if your child may just need help getting started with an activity, especially when going into a new environment or situation, like a park, pool, or playground. In our highly stimulating world, kids can express feeling bored when things are a bit slower. How to off-set this to find more balance. ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE: 🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about how screens affect regulation with Ale Duarte 🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about how you can encourage independent play 🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about how to help your child maintain their friendships over the summer WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU: Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!
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320. Why boys and girls need different things: The neuroscience of the sexes with Michael Gurian
New York Times bestselling author, therapist, and social philosopher Michael Gurian joins me for a fascinating conversation about the brain science behind why boys and girls often need different things—and how understanding these differences can help us raise emotionally healthy, resilient kids. Together we explore: The difference between sex and gender. Why boys’ brains often orient more toward spatial and kinesthetic activities, and how this shapes the way they bond and communicate. The surprising brain-based reason empathy often comes more easily to girls than boys and how to nurture empathy in boys. How school systems unintentionally disadvantage boys and practical things parents can do at home to help them thrive. Why “use your words” doesn’t always work for boys—and how to support emotional expression in more body-based, multisensory ways. The crucial distinction between healthy aggression and violence and why rough-and-tumble play can actually build resilience and connection. How maternal and paternal nurturing styles differ and how each uniquely supports children's development. How understanding these biological and developmental differences can help reduce conflict, build trust, and support each child’s unique strengths. If you’re curious about what neuroscience can teach us about the different ways boys and girls develop, connect, and express themselves—and how this understanding can help you parent more effectively—this episode is filled with research-based insights and practical tools you won’t want to miss! LEARN MORE ABOUT MY GUEST: 👉🏻 https://www.michaelgurian.com/ 📚 Boys, A Rescue Plan: Moving Beyond the Politics of Masculinity to Healthy Male Development 🎧 Wonder of Parenting - A Brain-Science Approach to Parenting CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE: 🎧 214. Raising emotionally intelligent sons: Parenting boys to combat "toxic masculinity" with Ruth Whippman 🎧 286. Empowering girls to navigate media, body image, and societal pressures with Dr. Jo-Ann Finkelstein 🎧 149. Q&A: How to answer your kid's questions about gender
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319. Q&A: Where’s the line between supporting my child and feeding their anxiety?
Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Emily Upshur and I talk about... What “scaffolding” and “accommodations” actually mean, where they differ, and where they overlap. Why the exact same parenting move can either build your child’s confidence or unintentionally undermine your intentions, and the simple trick to figure out which one you're doing! How your child’s discomfort plays a role in how you respond to them, and the important information that can reveal to us as parents. A real-life example of the difference between scaffolding versus over-accommodating when you have a child with social anxiety - a helpful framework for what to do and what to try to avoid doing. How scaffolding is specifically tied to skill-building, both emotionally and practically. Why your own bandwidth matters and how to balance consistency with realistic expectations. REFERENCES AND RELATED RESOURCES: 👉🏻 Are you parenting a child with anxiety or OCD and looking for tools to support them? CLICK HERE to learn more about Upshur Bren Psychology Group's SPACE (Supportive Parenting for Anxious Childhood Emotions) program or SCHEDULE A FREE CALL to see if it’s the right fit for your family. ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE: 🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about supporting kids through fears with Jennie Monness 🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about separation anxiety 🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about SPACE with the creator of this modality Dr. Eli Lebowitz of the Yale Child Study Center WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU: Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!
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318. The neuroscience of control: Helping kids cope with stress and become self-driven with Dr. William Stixrud
Clinical neuropsychologist and co-author of The Self-Driven Child, Dr. William Stixrud joins me for a powerful conversation about how we can raise confident, resilient kids by helping them feel a greater sense of control, without giving up our role as parents. Together we explore: Why a low sense of control is one of the most stressful experiences a child (or adult) can have, and how we can support our kids in feeling more agentful in their lives. How secure attachment and autonomy are deeply connected—and why attachment must come first. What SPACE (Supportive Parenting for Anxious Childhood Emotions) is and how parents can use techniques from this modality whether your child has anxiety or not. Why Dr. Stixrud started saying “I love you too much to fight with you about homework” and how you can use this too to defuse power struggles and build internal motivation. Tips for how parents can more successfully respond to children's behaviors that they can’t control, like tantrums, hitting, or screaming. Why stepping in too often can interrupt neurological processes that help kids learn, adapt, and build resilience. How to support self-driven learning, encourage safe risk-taking, and build a foundation of mutual respect in your family. If you're looking to reduce conflict and build more trust in your parent-child relationship, this conversation is filled with evidence-based insight and practical tools you won't want to miss! LEARN MORE ABOUT MY GUEST: 👉🏻 https://stixrud.com/ ADDITIONAL REFERENCES AND RESOURCES: 📚 The Self-Driven Child: The Science and Sense of Giving Your Kids More Control Over Their Lives 📚 What Do You Say?: How to Talk with Kids to Build Motivation, Stress Tolerance, and a Happy Home 📚 The Seven Principles for Raising a Self-Driven Child: A Workbook 🎧 The Self-Driven Child Podcast 👉🏻 Learned Helplessness at Fifty: Insights from Neuroscience CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE: 🎧 72. Supportive parenting for anxious childhood emotions space how a new treatment for childhood anxiety and OCD is revolutionizing care with Dr. Eli Lebowitz 🎧 244. Understanding parental dysregulation: How to identify and manage your triggers with Dr. Amber Thornton 🎧 146. The hidden dangers of an achievement centric approach with Jennifer Breheny Wallace 🎧 206. Picky eating, ARFID, and SPACE: How a new anxiety treatment can help your child be more flexible around food with Dr. Yaara Shimshoni
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317. Q&A: My 5-year-old prefers my husband, does that mean she is more securely attached to him?
Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Emily Upshur and I talk about... What is the difference between attachment bonds and parental preferences? If your child shows you their most dysregulated behaviors, doesn’t listen to you, or is their messiest self with you, what these behaviors may reveal. (Spoiler: It’s a good sign!) If your child does have an insecure attachment to you, practical strategies and interventions you can use to start repairing your relationship. The difference between independent play and child led play, and how only one of these is used to help you improve your connection. Dr. Sarah’s 6-basics that all kids need before you can start developing a deeper bond with your child. How you can tap into your child's attachment security in other relationships to help you deepen your own bond to each other. REFERENCES AND RELATED RESOURCES: 🤳 Go to drsarahbren.com/secure to download my free guide, The Four Pillars of Fostering Secure Attachment, helping you parent with a focus on attunement and trust. 👉🏻 Click here to lean more about support options at Upshur Bren Psychology Group and to schedule a free 30-minute consultation call to learn more about the available resources for your unique needs. ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE: 🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about children favoring one parent 🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about attachment security in our early relationships with Dr. Alan Sroufe 🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about breaking an insecure attachment cycle with Dr. Miriam Steele 🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about what to do if your child loses it more with you than anyone else 🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about the benefits of using an authoritative approach to parenting WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU: Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!
Securely Attached is your go-to parenting podcast, supporting moms and dads from pregnancy all the way through their child's adolescence and every stage in between.
Join us every Tuesday as clinical psychologist and mom of two Dr. Sarah Bren shares her expertise and interviews top experts in the field, simplifying complicated concepts and pulling back the curtain on the brain science and psychology that drives and shapes the parent-child relationship.
And now, every Thursday, Dr. Sarah Bren is joined by Dr. Emily Upshur and Dr. Rebecca Hershberg for a special segment, Beyond The Sessions. We’re answering YOUR parenting questions from the perspective of clinical psychologists highly trained in developmental science and real-life moms who get that parenting is messy, and sometimes we have to laugh, cry, and throw out the “rules.”
From toddler tantrums, to effective discipline strategies, to leaning into the principles of respectful parenting, and to managing your own mental wellness as a parent—this podcast is your ultimate resource for judgment-free, research-backed information you know you can trust.
About Sarah Bren, PhD
Dr. Sarah Bren is a licensed clinical psychologist and mom of two who helps parents understand the building blocks of child development and how secure relationships form and thrive. Her work is focused on helping parents find their inner confidence so they can respond to any parenting problem that comes along and raise kids who are healthy, resilient, and kind.
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