BigDeal

Most people think communication is about being right. It's not. It's about controlling the frame. After years of navigating toxic bosses, difficult business partners, and high-stakes negotiations across Wall Street and Main Street, I've cracked the code on why difficult people always seem to win — and how to beat them at their own game without becoming one of them.

Today I’m breaking down the nine strategies I use to handle toxic people. You'll learn why the loudest person dominates early but loses later, how Harvard research shows people interpret facts to protect their ego (not accuracy), and why toxic people win because they play with low emotional reactivity and high certainty — even when they're wrong. You'll learn the CLEAN framework, why gaslighting collapses under specificity, and how the Invisible Gorilla study proves we all live in different realities. If you've ever felt drained by difficult people, lost arguments you should've won, or wondered why toxic behavior gets rewarded, this episode will change how you communicate forever. Stop trying to win emotionally. Start winning structurally.

Thinking about buying a business but don’t know where to start? Main Street Millionaire Live gives you the playbook, mindset, and momentum to become an owner. Stop saying “someday,” and do it this year → https://contrarianthinking.biz/MSML_BDYT26

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00:00:00 Introduction
00:02:07 The Asymmetry Advantage: How Toxic People Exploit You
00:03:25 Frame Control: The Rule That Wins Every Conversation
00:06:29 The Disrespect Response Ladder: From Absorb to Redirect
00:09:16 The Gaslighting Defense Protocol: Reality Anchor Tactics
00:10:06 Main Street Millionaire Live: Your Path to Business Ownership
00:10:51 The Four Studies That Change How You See Reality
00:13:27 Negotiating Across Two Realities: The Mirror and Redirect Method
00:14:55 The Blue-Throated Mockingbird: Creating Trigger Breakers
00:20:27 The CLEAN Framework: How to Beat Toxic People Structurally
00:22:59 The Power Move: Stop Fighting Emotionally, Win Structurally

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Most people think self-doubt is the enemy. Dr. Shadé Zahrai knows better — it's actually a signal. After spending years researching the neuroscience of confidence and studying thousands of high performers, this Harvard-trained leadership expert has cracked the code on why self-doubt never fully disappears and what top performers do differently when it shows up.

In this raw conversation, Dr. Shadé breaks down the exact four drivers of self-doubt that hold people back, why waiting to feel confident is the wrong goal completely (confidence comes after action, not before), how expectation bias creates the reality you experience, and why the opposite of self-doubt isn't confidence at all — it's self-trust.

But this isn't theory — it's applied neuroscience. We get into the five elements that increase your perceived confidence (posture, eye contact, gestures, vocal tone, and walking speed), why smiling doesn't equal weakness, how to use the CUT method to handle manipulators, and why writing things down by hand increases recall by activating different parts of your brain. If you've ever felt like self-doubt is holding you back, or if you're tired of waiting to feel ready before you take action, this episode will rewire how you think about confidence, competence, and what it actually takes to trust yourself.

Check out Dr. Shadé Zahrai’s new book Big Trust: Rewire Self-Doubt, Find Your Confidence, Fuel Success — out January 20th. Pre-order now: https://www.shadezahrai.com/bigtrust

Download Dr. Shadé’s free Morning Clarity Reset tool: https://bit.ly/morningclarityritual

Keep up with Dr. Shadé Zahrai
Website: https://www.shadezahrai.comInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/shadezahraiLinkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/shadezahrai/YouTube: http://www.youtube.com/@Dr.ShadeZahraiTikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@shadezahrai

I say it all the time: building real wealth doesn’t require a flashy startup — it just takes one boring, cash-flowing business. Join me at Main Street Millionaire Live to get my exact playbook for finding, buying, and scaling a business. Stop wondering how ownership could change your life, and come find out: https://contrarianthinking.biz/MSML26_BDYT
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00:00:00 Introduction
00:01:28 The Scar Study: How Your Beliefs Create Your Reality
00:03:43 The Four Drivers of Self-Doubt
00:08:18 You Are Not Your Doubts: The Ping-Pong Ball Analogy
00:11:20 Affective Labeling: Name Your Emotions to Tame Them
00:14:21 The Opposite of Self-Doubt is Not Confidence, It's Self-Trust
00:16:57 Manifestation Done Right: The Michael Phelps Pre-Mortem Strategy
00:23:41 The Five Elements of Charisma: Posture, Gestures, Eyes, Voice, and Walk
00:43:52 How to Win Any Room: The Five-to-One Question Rule
00:47:42 The CUT Method: How to Handle Manipulative Behavior
01:01:15 Imposter Syndrome and the Citibank Napkin Story
01:07:18 The Top Five Regrets of the Dying
01:22:51 Morning Clarity Reset: The One Daily Ritual That Changes Everything

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Most people think mindset is everything. Tony Robbins knows better — it's what comes before mindset that determines whether you break through or break down. After 49 years coaching everyone from world leaders to suicidal strangers, the legendary peak performance strategist has cracked the code on why most people set goals they never keep, make decisions they never follow through on, and stay stuck in patterns they know are destroying their lives.

In this raw, unfiltered conversation, Tony breaks down the exact three-step formula for creating breakthroughs that actually last: state, story, and strategy — in that order. We dive into why your emotional state controls everything you perceive, how the stories you tell yourself become the limitations you live by, and why even the best strategy in the world won't work if you're in the wrong state when you try to execute it. Tony reveals why fasting is easier than dieting (absolutes beat negotiation every time), how a general made a 10-year Pentagon decision in 40 minutes, and why most people confuse deciding with committing when real transformation requires resolve.

But this isn't theory — it's applied psychology from the trenches. Tony walks through his actual intervention process, why he asks 167 questions before making one statement, how he reads people's top two human needs in minutes, and why sometimes you have to offend someone to actually help them. We get into why positive thinking is bullshit without capability, how a $78,000 betrayal became his greatest teacher, and why the law of attraction is real but dangerously incomplete. If you've ever set a New Year's resolution and abandoned it by February, or if you're tired of knowing what to do but not doing it, this episode will rewire how you think about change, discipline, and what it actually takes to destroy the negative thoughts holding you back.

Protect what you own. Next makes it fast, simple, and painless. Check it out: https://nextinsurance.com/codie

Tony's hosting his final Time to Rise Summit — three days, completely free, January 29-31. Over a million people from 193 countries have transformed their lives through this event. Sign up at https://www.timetorisesummit.com

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00:00:00 Introduction
00:02:01 The Three S's to Breakthrough: State, Story, and Strategy
00:05:22 Why Your Story Controls Your Life More Than Anything Else
00:12:02 Decision, Commitment, and Resolve: The Three-Part Process
00:25:55 The Law of Attraction is Real But Not Enough
00:30:46 Why You Can't Please Everyone and Still Have Impact
00:35:21 The Oprah Story: When Support Becomes Enabling
00:43:51 The Six Human Needs and How They Drive Everything
00:46:00 Partnership Mistakes and the Three Questions for Evaluating Anyone
00:54:20 How Tony Prepares for Events: Obsessive Preparation Meets Improvisation
00:56:11 Time to Rise Summit: The Free Event Born from COVID

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🎥 YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@podcastbigdeal

📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/bigdeal.podcast

📽️ TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@big.deal.pod

MORE FROM CODIE SANCHEZ

🎥 YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@codiesanchezct

📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/codiesanchez

📽️ TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@realcodiesanchez

OTHER THINGS WE DO

🌐 Our community: https://contrarianthinking.typeform.com/to/WBztXXID

📰 Free newsletter: https://contrarianthinking.biz/3XWLlZp

📚 Biz buying course: https://contrarianthinking.biz/3NhjGgN

🏠 Resibrands: https://resibrands.com/

💰 CT Capital: https://contrarianthinking.biz/4eRyGOk

🏦 Main St Hold Co: https://contrarianthinking.biz/3YfGa8u
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Most people think discipline is about willpower. Ryan Holiday knows better — it's about habit. After writing multiple bestselling books on Stoicism and spending decades studying history's highest performers, the author of The Obstacle Is The Way and Ego Is The Enemy has cracked the code on why the world's hardest workers aren't just talented or lucky. They've built systems that make discipline inevitable.

In this raw conversation, Ryan breaks down the exact frameworks used by Marcus Aurelius, Seneca, and Epictetus to stay calm under fire, make sharper decisions under pressure, and most importantly — get things done. We dive into why discipline isn't something you are but something you do, how the Stoics battled procrastination (Seneca said all fools are always getting ready to start), and why negative visualization beats positive manifestation every time. Ryan reveals his actual research process (analog note cards, not AI shortcuts), why he reads the same books over and over, and how to inoculate yourself against audience capture when everyone's telling you what to create.

But this isn't theory — it's applied philosophy. We get into why waking up early is useless if you stay up till 2 AM, how to make hard things black and white so you can't rationalize exceptions, and why your calendar should have large blocks of white space, not meetings. Ryan walks through his panic rules from coaching the LA Rams, why ego destroys more empires than external obstacles, and how he went from running publicity stunts and media manipulation campaigns to building one of the most disciplined creative practices in the world. If you've ever felt like discipline is this vague thing you either have or don't, or if you're tired of procrastinating on the life you know you should be building, this episode will change how you think about work, focus, and what it actually takes to win.

Protect what you own. Next makes it fast, simple, and painless. Check it out: https://nextinsurance.com/codie

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00:00:00 Introduction
00:01:06 Panic Rules: What To Do When Everything Falls Apart
00:03:05 Discipline Now, Freedom Later: The Labor Will Pass
00:07:37 The Simplest Daily Habit to Build Discipline
00:11:59 Large Uninterrupted Blocks of Time: The Secret to Success
00:16:09 Procrastination is Arrogant: It Assumes You Have Forever
00:22:39 Enjoying the Journey: Why the Work Matters More Than the Reward
00:28:22 Negative Visualization: Why the Stoics Planned for the Worst
00:33:10 The Note Card System: How Ryan Remembers Everything
00:34:52 You Must Love Learning If You Would Possess It
00:43:14 Know Thyself: The Oracle of Delphi's Most Important Command
00:46:05 Ego is the Enemy: How It Destroys Success
00:53:16 The Power to Have No Opinion
01:00:06 Haters, Criticism, and the Statistical Certainty of Dislike
01:18:04 Audience Capture: When Your Audience Has You
01:09:04 From Marketing Manipulator to Stoic Philosopher
01:15:17 The Corner Office Phenomenon: Looking Down the Hall
01:17:01 Are Humans Contagious? Culture, Values, and Becoming Who You Spend Time With
01:06:44 Should We All Get a Donkey? Life Lessons from the Ranch
01:21:15 Final Reflections: The Path That's Yours Alone

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📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/bigdeal.podcast
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🎥 YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@codiesanchezct
📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/codiesanchez
📽️ TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@realcodiesanchez

OTHER THINGS WE DO
🌐 Our community: https://contrarianthinking.typeform.com/to/WBztXXID
📰 Free newsletter: https://contrarianthinking.biz/3XWLlZp
📚 Biz buying course: https://contrarianthinking.biz/3NhjGgN
🏠 Resibrands: https://resibrands.com/
💰 CT Capital: https://contrarianthinking.biz/4eRyGOk
🏦 Main St Hold Co: https://contrarianthinking.biz/3YfGa8u
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Most people think goal setting is about writing down what you want. It's not. It's about creating gravitational pull so strong that your entire life reorganizes around what you're building. After 15 years of setting and hitting impossible goals — from building multiple businesses to launching a top podcast to selling a million books — I've cracked the code on why most people fail and the few who win do it differently.

In this episode, I break down my exact five-step process for setting goals you'll actually follow through on in 2026. You'll learn the regret minimization framework from Jeff Bezos, why Elon Musk uses first principles and backwards timelines, how Warren Buffett's 5/25 rule forces ruthless focus, and why Sam Walton obsessed over daily numeric targets instead of quarterly objectives. I reveal why exploitation keeps you efficient but exploration creates breakthroughs, how to use goal gravity to pull everything towards your target, and why your year needs a name before it can have a plan.

But this isn't theory — it's my actual goal journal from the last 15 years. I show you my relationship goals, work targets, travel plans, and even the silly stuff like feeling more feminine and cutting out bread (spoiler: didn't nail that one). You'll see my "more of/less of" list, why I track daily streaks, and how I turned 2024 into my "full send" year and 2025 into my "year of flow." If you're tired of setting the same goals every January and abandoning them by February, or if you want to finally build a life most people only dream about, this episode will change how you think about goal setting forever. It takes 21 days to create a habit, but 90 days to create a totally different lifestyle. Start your timer. This is day one.

Protect what you own. Next makes it fast, simple, and painless. Check it out: https://www.nextinsurance.com/codie
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00:00:00 Introduction
00:01:12 Goal Gravity: Why Small Goals Kill Your Future
00:02:13 Exploitation vs Exploration: The Fork in the Road
00:03:44 The Regret Minimization Framework from Bezos
00:04:40 Name Your Year: The Power of Framing
00:06:26 First Principles and Backwards Timelines: The Elon Musk Method
00:09:21 The Four Goal Categories: Relationship, Work, Travel, and Fun
00:11:37 The Say No List and Warren Buffett's 5/25 Rule
00:13:17 More Of, Less Of: The Anti-Goal Method
00:14:59 Daily Scoreboard: Sam Walton's Obsessively Measurable Goals
00:16:54 The Five Patterns of World-Class Goal Setters

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📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/bigdeal.podcast
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🎥 YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@codiesanchezct
📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/codiesanchez
📽️ TikTok:
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